Monday, October 23, 2006

Homecoming Weekend Tally

Runners

On the whole, a better-than-average year. In all fairness, I have to mention that about 98% of the alumni I dealt with were polite and pleasant.

Photographs taken: 1,237

Free lunches: 2

Free dinners: 1

Forced laughs after stupid jokes by speakers: 683

Times caught in rain sans umbrella: 3

Streakers: 4 (too bad it was so cold out, if you catch my meaning)

Stephen Colbert spottings: 2

Brushes with frostbite: 4

Ibuprofen consumed: 18

Narrow escapes from trustee who gives me stomach pains: 5

Indecent proposals from alumni: 1*

Committee ladies who narrowly escaped a bite on the ankle: 2

Board members who narrowly escaped same: 1

Football games lost: 1

Delicious moments of football-related schadenfreude**: 1

Estimated days before fake smile frozen on face will relax: 3

*Or two, if you take into consideration that it was from a couple. A straight couple.

**Just Google it, okay?

26 comments:

shyknitter said...

Schadenfreude is my new favourite word. Don't know how often I will be able to use it though.

PuppyMomma said...

Ahh Franklin. I'm searching for a way to make ankle-biting and shin kicking legal, considering I too wish to do same to people on a daily basis. As soon as I find a way I'll let you know.

denyse said...

schadenfreude. Wonderful word!! Thank you!

Sravana said...

Indecent proposals, huh?
Well, you already knew that you are hawt, from the response of your minions here... lol.

I have a professor that deserves an ankle-bite before, during, and after every lecture! What a prick he is..

Jackie said...

I think you should go get yourself the Disco Bitch underpants as a combination "congrats on your recognition as a blogger award" and "I survived homecoming weekend reward". As long as you've come to terms with the fact that eventually they're going to end up on Dolores' fleecy butt.

jayne said...

I'm catching up on the last week or so of your blog. Life gets in the way sometimes...

One treat after another! Belated congrats on the accolades for your blog. You're one of my favorite writers (in any media). Have you ever read Anne Lamott?

My man was in Chicago last week on business. Stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel. He phoned me to say that the in-hotel info magazine had a spot highlighting your upcoming Dulaan knit-in. Cool, I said.

Laurakeet said...

As I watched (out of the corner of my eye ONLY, thankyouverymuch) the football game this weekend, I was hoping you were enjoying the irresistible fall from grace. I didn't think "scadenfreude" but that's perfect. I also worried briefly -- after all, you could've been trampled by angry fans or something! Hope you got a few good photos of horrified faces.

Lynn in Tucson said...

But were they alumni who read your blog? Did you ask??

tb said...

You don't wonder why the straight couple propositioned you, do you? You're beautiful! You make me want to visit Chicago and wander boystown just for a chance glimpse of you!

Carol said...

LOL-Someone's happy to be home...

Sherry W said...

For that proposal, how straight was the couple really?

Just remember on bad days, they did send you to Greece.

David said...

Your restraint is admirable.

kmkat said...

Schadenfreude, ankle-biting, and indecent proposals all in one blog posting -- it's no wonder I love to come here. (I'll be sprinkling that schaden word liberally into my conversation henceforth. Thanks!)

Carol said...

What I want to know is: was the indecent proposal FROM Stephen Colbert?

Lee Ann said...

Sigh.

Bisoux, sweetie. You were insanely missed.

junior_goddess said...

Get the underpants. Let Dolores buy you a drinkie poo.

I have to know the answer to this question-are there REALLY Disco Bitch Underoos for sale? Because I am going to feel like a total IDIOT if I call Manifold to do my Christmas shopping there, and they laugh at me. I have the perfect giftee.

So PLEASE tell me if I need to spit the hook out of my mouth.

MonicaPDX said...

Vielegen dank sei Gott. You survived.

Hey! Couldja file a sexual harassment suit against that couple? A way to get out of there with bucks, yet!

Yeah, I know, not feasible, just think of the time involved, not to mention the backlash. But I'll bet you've been thinking about it. ;) However, you might consider sending Dolores after them.

Jenn said...

Schadenfreude is an excellent word. Avenue Q defines it very well. Go 'head, Google the two together.

Glad to see you survived your WFH, and came out with your sense of humor intact.

FiberQat said...

Ah there's nothing like a football game to inspire schadenfreude in a soul. Mine came watching a southern California team playing my alma mater's team on a rainy muddy day. Even the place kicker had mud on his pristine white and yellow uniform. *BEG*

Hope the "retail" smile has loosened up.

DK said...

Priceless.

-Kate

goblinbox said...

I had a similar problem, trying to figure out how to count it. I asked many what the convention was in a situation like that and this was the consensus:

If the couple approaches you together, simultaneously, you've been hit on once. If they approach you seperately, you've been hit on twice.

Such a burden, being adorable, eh? ;-)

hookinmama said...

I just found your blog and I think it's HILARIOUS! Keep writing, I'll keep reading.

arcadiaknitting said...

Will it make you feel better if I tell you that Arcadia Knitting got it's first order of roving? And that the Ashford wheels and other goodies are on their way? The roving is cormo and dyed all the best colors. Don't bite. Spin.

Mel said...

Glad you made it through without too much trauma or drama, but couldn't you have blown up that pic of the streakers a bit more?

Bev in TN said...

I guess this means that Dolores didn't get to go to Rhinebeck. Drats! I was so looking forward to her post...:-(

denny Mcmillan said...

Well that sounds like a fun weekend.


The Rhinebeck... it was o.k.

Their having another Rhinebeck next year, so you know it's no big deal that you missed this one. Really, no biggy.