Monday, October 23, 2006
Homecoming Weekend Tally
On the whole, a better-than-average year. In all fairness, I have to mention that about 98% of the alumni I dealt with were polite and pleasant.
Photographs taken: 1,237
Free lunches: 2
Free dinners: 1
Forced laughs after stupid jokes by speakers: 683
Times caught in rain sans umbrella: 3
Streakers: 4 (too bad it was so cold out, if you catch my meaning)
Stephen Colbert spottings: 2
Brushes with frostbite: 4
Ibuprofen consumed: 18
Narrow escapes from trustee who gives me stomach pains: 5
Indecent proposals from alumni: 1*
Committee ladies who narrowly escaped a bite on the ankle: 2
Board members who narrowly escaped same: 1
Football games lost: 1
Delicious moments of football-related schadenfreude**: 1
Estimated days before fake smile frozen on face will relax: 3
*Or two, if you take into consideration that it was from a couple. A straight couple.
**Just Google it, okay?