Friday, March 10, 2006

Stein Narrowly Defeats Parker



Welcome to Panopticon Sportscenter!

We're here to announce the victor in this week's Celebrity Smackdown: Gertrude Stein vs. Dorothy Parker in 3000m speed skating.

The results:
Gertude Stein: 58% (257 votes)
Dorothy Parker: 42% (184 votes)
We interviewed the competitors in the locker room.

Stein: "We were standing and she was talking and I was not listening, and then we were skating and not talking she was talking and skating, and I was skating and not talking. She was talking and skating then not skating and talking and I was not listening. Skating and talking is talking is not skating. Skating is skating. She was skating not skating and talking and drinking not skating. She was talking and drinking not skating and I was skating. I was skating and not listening and skating and not drinking and I was winning. And then I was mopping the rink with her skinny New York ass."

Parker: "When ice is not covered by scotch, I am deeply uninterested."

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Je t'adore, mon beau fripon chauve.
Tu m'agrandis le coeur.

Anonymous said...

That Dorothy, a woman of few words, but always to the point. I should have voted more times. Or would that be election fraud?

Anonymous said...

Excellent, excellent post!!

Thank you

marie in florida said...

hehehe

you crazy!

Jon said...

Mon Dieu, que tu sois un fripon??? LOL

msubulldog said...

"I am not an alpaca!" had me laughing out loud! :)

Aidan said...

Pardonnez mon français tres faible. Votre schema m'a incite a uriner un peu dans mon pantalon. Vous etes tres drole.

Nik said...

ditto. (what bulldog said)

LOL.

Anonymous said...

Et toi aussi, Aidan.
Je ricane.

Anonymous said...

Je ne connaissias pas "fripon." Merci pour le nouveau mot du jour!

Il n'est que 10h30 ici ce vendredi matin, mais un p'tit whisky fera du bien....

Bon weekend a tout le monde,
Lynn in Tucson

Anonymous said...

I think you did Stein at least as well as the woman herself. Quite cringe-worthy in my opinion, even if she *is* part of the literary canon now. *Sigh* And Parker was just hilarious. Wonder what she would've said had she won...?

-Heather

Anonymous said...

Cool. Frankophiles. Franklin, you attract a good crowd.
"Fripon" is an old-fashioned word.
It means "rascal" or "naughty one".
It's one of my favorite French words, the other being "barbouiller", to smear something

dpaste said...

I love love love you.

Anonymous said...

I could almost hear you laughing as you wrote the Gertrude Stein part! Laughing, laughing, laughing, posting and laughing!

Norskybear said...

Tant mieux qu'on a une groupe francophone ici!

The Stein quote was simply exquisite! "The Mother of Us All" is one of my favorite operas; saw it at City Opera a few years ago.

You always manage to make me smile!

Beth said...

Hey! No fair commenting in a language I can't read!

As always, a wonderful post.

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy to be a new Frankophile. I've been lurking on a few blogs now that I've begun to knit again... If only I could make my fingers work... sigh.
I voted for Stein because I too thought Parker would be too bored to even make it to the starting line...
This has become my new favorite blog. I only wish someone would support Franklin so he could write for us all day...

Anonymous said...

LOL, Franklin, I can so believe the results of the Smackdown and the contenders' post-smackdown conversation. And look forward to finding the upshot of Dolores' sudden arrival at your abode. (The King Charles pattern you are using in your scarf is one I am determined to try for *something*.)
Sherri
(blogless, hence anonymous)

boobookittyfug said...

There is a special language for Franklinophiles. Just like French, but with giggling.

Filambulle said...

Well if I may speak french today...
Francklin, mon colinet, je fond d'attendrissement, de plaisir et de joie devant ton esprit, ton humour fin et ton imagination. Il ne me reste plus aujourd'hui qu'à me pencher d''un peu plus près sur la littérature anglosaxonne, car j'avoue à ma très grande honte ne pas connaître ces deux grandes dames. (Il faudra bien un jour qu'enfin j'admette qu'il y a un monde après Jane Austin.)

Liz said...

Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limosine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

janewangleilei said...

You can have a look at it.
jordan shoes
jordan ajf shoes
There are cheap shoes to choose
jordan 6
jordan 7
Good quality with low price.
air jordan 2010
Air Jordan 2009
If you like,you can contact us.
jordan 3
jordan 4
We offer different styles.
jordan 1
jordan 2
Thanks.
jordan 5
jumpman
I can't believe it.
nike outlet
You can have a look at it.
adidas outlet
puma outlet
north face
moncler
Wow
ak jackets
spyder jackets
Beautiful!
Columbia Sportswear
quiksilver jackets
Enjoy it.
burton jacket
powder room jackets
Thanks.
karbon jacket
goldwin jackets
I can't believe it.
eider jackets
You can have a look at it.
sportalm jackets
Wonderful!
west scout

www.soria-3d.com said...

I read really much effective material above!

Togel Bola Online said...

Thanks, I have recently been searching for information approximately this subject for a while and yours is the greatest I have found out till now. However, what about the bottom line? Are you positive concerning the source?

Togel Bola Online said...

Hello. impressive job. I did not expect this. This is a fantastic story. Thanks!

i date asia said...

Thank you for sharing your stuff on blog. It is doubtless that we have similar interests. idateasia scam

Obat Wasir said...

obat kencing nanah di apotik nanah keluar dari kemaluan kelamin keluar nanah ujung penis keluar cairan nanah gejala penyakit kencing nanah obat penis keluar nanah

Unknown said...

obat sipilis obat sipilis raja singa obat wasir obat-wasir-herbal

Arjunane Denature said...

obat sipilis obat sipilis raja singa obat wasir obat-wasir-herbal

Unknown said...

obat gonore kencing nanah pada wanita cara mengatasi kemaluan keluar nanah obat gonore pengobatan wasir tradisional obat wasir di hongkong

Unknown said...

jamuherbalkutilkelamin tipsmenjauhknkutildarivagina masalahkutilmenimpakemaluan menghilangkanbenjolankutildivagina

Anonymous said...

Wasir atau ambeien adalah penyakit yang terjadi pada bagian anus, jenis wasir atau ambeien sendiri ada dua yaitu wasir atau ambeien dalam dan wasir atau ambeien luar. Dalam penangananya sendiri wasir atau ambeien dapat disembuhkan dengan dua jalan yaitu pengobatan medis dan pengobatan non medis atau pengobatan alternatif. Pengobatan alternatif disini salah satu pilihanya adalah dengan menggunakan tanaman herbal atau dengan ramuan tradisional. Ambeclear dan Salep Salwa adalah hasil pengolahan tanaman herbal daun ungu, kunyit putih, dan mahkota dewa yang telah terbukti ampuh mengatasi wasir atau ambeien baik wasir stadium satu, stadium dua, stadium tiga maupun stadium akhir atau stadium empat. Wasir berdarah, wasir yang telah kronis, semua dapat diatasi dengan menggunakan obat ini selain ampuh obat ini juga aman dan tidak menimbulkan efek samping apapun bagi penggunanya sehingga obat ambeclear ini aman dikonsumsi oleh penderita wasir yang sedang hamil maupun menyusui.

Unknown said...

ujung kemaluan keluar nanah obat penis keluar nanah obat wasir herbal tanpa operasi obat cairan nanah keluar dari kemaluan obat kemaluan keluar nanah obat alat kelamin keluar nanah obat untuk cairan nanah yang keluar dari kemaluan obat untuk cairan nanah yang keluar dari kemaluan cara mengobati penis keluar nanah nanah keluar dari kemaluan kelamin pria keluar nanah obat kelamin pria keluar cairan nanah obat kelamin pria keluar nanah obat ujung kemaluan keluar nanah obat ujung kemaluan keluar nanah obat kelamin pria keluar cairan nanah obat kelamin pria keluar cairan nanah mengapa alat kelamin keluar nanah obat alat kelamin keluar nanah kemaluan laki laki keluar nanah kemaluan laki laki keluar nanah kemaluan keluar nanah kemaluan keluar nanah kemaluan keluar cairan nanah

Unknown said...

Wasir atau ambeien adalah penyakit yang terjadi pada bagian anus, jenis wasir atau ambeien sendiri ada dua yaitu wasir atau ambeien dalam dan wasir atau ambeien luar. Dalam penangananya sendiri wasir atau ambeien dapat disembuhkan dengan dua jalan yaitu pengobatan medis dan pengobatan non medis atau pengobatan alternatif. Pengobatan alternatif disini salah satu pilihanya adalah dengan menggunakan tanaman herbal atau dengan ramuan tradisional. Ambeclear dan Salep Salwa adalah hasil pengolahan tanaman herbal daun ungu, kunyit putih, dan mahkota dewa yang telah terbukti ampuh mengatasi wasir atau ambeien baik wasir stadium satu, stadium dua, stadium tiga maupun stadium akhir atau stadium empat. Wasir berdarah, wasir yang telah kronis, semua dapat diatasi dengan menggunakan obat ini selain ampuh obat ini juga aman dan tidak menimbulkan efek samping apapun bagi penggunanya sehingga obat ambeclear ini aman dikonsumsi oleh penderita wasir yang sedang hamil maupun menyusui.

Unknown said...

I was very happy because I could find this good article
This is one of the best blogs I've found today

Cara Menghilangkan Benjolan Lipoma Di Leher Cara Mengobati Luka Melepuh Cara Menghilangkan Luka Bekas Operasi Pengobatan Alami untuk Mengatasi Batuk Berkepanjangan Cara Menyembuhkan Luka Dinding Lambung Obat Penghilang Gatal yang Sudah Lama & Tidak Kunjung Sembuh Pengobatan Radang Sendi yang Diresepkan oleh Dokter Cara Cepat Mengeringkan Koreng & Menghilangkan Bekasnya Hingga Sembuh Cara Menyembuhkan Nyeri Telapak Kaki Obat Herbal Anyang Anyangan