Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Lurching Toward Epiphany: The End

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Dolores gave to me

Day Twelve

twelve months' probation,
eleven units responding,
ten words of warning,
nine neighbors ringing,
eight shameless encores,
seven kegs a-brimming,
six queens sashaying,
five Highland Flings,
four letter words,
three clenched men,
two hurtled jugs,
and a party that lasted 'til three.

(And so concludes our merry holiday chronicle–slightly late, as booking at the precinct took simply forever. Normal (?) blogging resumes tomorrow.)

73 comments:

TraceCub said...

This was awesome! Thanks for the laugh!

nifer said...

Brilliant. So funny.

holli said...

Thanks so much for the fun! Now take some of your chunkiest yarn, and tie that girl to the nearest pole! Oh wait, she might like that.

SJ said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I've had a good chuckle every day.

cherie said...

Loved all twelve days! And as you know, "normal" is a relative concept....

charlene.knits said...

Franklin - Thank you so much. You always bring a smile to my day. Best wishes to all of you for the new year (let's hope she just gets probation)

dale-harriet said...

Enclosed please find 10,000 Virtual L'Agneaus ("lambies", a currency used by sheep) to help with her legal fees; as a member of her Fan Herd I feel it's the least I can do. OH - and because I love you I won't send my drycleaning bill for the tea all over my laptop. Thenk yew (ewe?) very mosch.

Ginaagain said...

You are doing a Dolores book someday aren't you? Thank you so much for the giggles.

SusanB-knits said...

Thank you! I enjoyed it very much!

Seanna Lea said...

I loved this sequence, and it made me very happy that my holidays were not this exciting!

FiberQat said...

She must have had a special something for the judge to have gotten away with probation. It could have been worse, like house confinement.

Very nicely executed. Thanks for the fun.

Leslie said...

Thanks, Franklin, for 12 days of laughs. Love the last one!

Ivywindow said...

Genius! Thank you.

shannon said...

i see a series of xmas cards...

karen! said...

I've really enjoyed seeing these in my reader every day. Good work, Franklin. A wonderful treat for this very blah time of year.

anne marie in philly said...

look at that bloodshot eye on her!

Rana said...

Do you suppose she'll end up in a cell next to Blago?

Barbara from Nova Scotia said...

Thank you for the laughs!

Mary said...

Thank you Franklin for this merry holiday series. I enjoyed each and every one of them. A bit of irreverant cheer just hit the spot!

Dana said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the series.

Diane in Chico said...

Thanks, Franklin. Laughing all the way....

Eileen said...

Thank you! I needed my Dolores fix, I missed her in "It Itches", which finally came in at my LYS (okay, so I bought some yarn, too, but it was 40% off and it's intended to be used in order to make something for my MiL and so it's okay, right?).

=^..^=

Anonymous said...

Quite in time, Franklin-- tonight is Twelfth Night!
-- Gretchen

Geek Knitter said...

Oh my, but that was lovely! The song will never be the same!

Mah Blogg said...

YAY, Franklin! What a wonderful Christmas story! I love Dolores' mug shot. And I pity her probation officer. I have the feeling that the next twelve months are going to be interesting CHez Panopticon.

PatQ said...

That was a great series. You've got to love Delores.

nutmeg said...

I second Ginaagain's comment about a Dolores Book. You bring a much-needed lift to our day. Thank you for sharing your creativity with us! Happy New Year from Northern Alberta, Canada!

Dianna said...

An awesome twelve days - thank you!

Karen said...

I LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED.....your twelve days of Christmas. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU :-0

Happy New Year Franklin :-)

Jaclyn Bailey said...

I have practically rolled on the floor with laughter every day! Thank you so much for sharing your twelve days of Christmas with us!

alala said...

This is now officially my favorite Christmas carol ever.

Tressa in NC said...

What a complete delight your 12 Days of Christmas have been to an otherwise dreary 12 days. Thanks!

Rachel said...

Thank you and a happy new year to you and Dolores :)

la takahashi said...

That was so fun! Thanks Franklin for the holiday cheer. :O) Lori

rogue1 said...

Did the governor bail her out?

Anonymous said...

12 Days of Chuckles!

Thanks, Franklin and Happy New Year.

Hazy said...

These have been brilliant and a highlight to each of the past 12 days. Happy new year!

Kristen said...

Wonderful! Thank you so much. I finally got It Itches as a belated Xmas present and snickered all the way through it. Honey, you are my kinda normal!

jennifer said...

Would that the 12 days of Christmas were 24 or 30 -- it was such a wonderful New Year's Gift to your readers! Thank You!

Anne O'Nymous said...

Beautiful, and it even included a possessive apostrophe! I would PAY to see more of those used correctly.

Extra credit for you, Mr. H.

Leslie said...

Wonderful! Um, that is unless you are living with Dolores, in which case I offer my condolences! Please tell me that Dolores will have her own book...

evalyn said...

Poor Dolores. Loosing the election was really hard on her. She needs a nice long rest in the (asylum) pasture nearest you, where she can recoup and rediscover her sheeply roots. She just needs to rediscover the simple joys of a bucket of water and bale of hay, and in no time, she'll be ready to jump the fence and get back to making Harry's life a living hell.

Lester's Mama said...

The fact that you can make me laugh out loud after a day at work like today, makes you one very gifted person.

Thanks for sharing your humour with the rest of us.

Bonnita said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! That was too much fun.

Sharon said...

Thank you very much for a hilarious 12 Days of Christmas. I would say Poor Dolores but I think it is much more appropriate to say "Poor Franklin."

By the way today, the 6th of January is 12th Night, Epiphany, so you are right on time.

Thanks, again for the lovely Christmas gift.

geogrrl said...

This series of cartoons was the best. I particularly liked Dolores sticking her tongue out at the camera when the mug shot was taken.

sue said...

Bravo! I LOVE it! I couldn't wait each day for the next one!
Sorry for the delay at the precinct.

Sharon said...

Ooops, I stand corrected. You are late,:}, last night was 12th Night. But today is Epiphany.

ZaftigWendy said...

I keep looking for the "funny (1)" button!

Yvonne said...

I was hoping you'd send her to me for the 12 months probation - of course you would have been required to attend regular planning meetings on her progress at a Central London venue.

Thanks for the laughs - especially the last one much needed after a day of dealing with "the day job"

Anastasia said...




Absolutely BRILLIANT!! You're amazing :)

--

DinaC said...

Book #2? :)

Pretty please??

Karin said...

I was wondering what your epiphany would be...?

the scarlet piglet said...

Priceless!! Bravo, Franklin!

Anonymous, too said...

The series was wonderful! Glad to see that you and Harry survived it all. How did Mrs. Teitlebaum's cat do through all the commotion?

Dolores should be careful. A probation violation could mean serving time in Lincoln Park Zoo's "Farm in the Zoo". Or proofreading mutton recipes for some charity cookbook as a community-service project.

Maria said...

Franklin, thank you for 12 wonderful days of laughter! Hope things start to settle down now that Dolores is on probation. I must disagree with some of the other comments, though. A Dolores book just wouldn't be enough - so how about a Dolores CALENDAR? 365 days of laughs for all of us!!!
XOXOXOX
Maria in NY

Sara said...

Loved it, all 12 days. Dolores definitely should have her own book someday. I'm not so sure about a Dolores Goes To Prison movie, though.

Judy G. said...

A classic. Well done!

Happy New Year!

Heidi said...

It must have been tempting to let her cool her heels in the clink for a bit. That girl is a handful!

RobinH said...

Perhaps while Dolores is grounded, she'll write her autobiography? (Love the idea of the Dolores book!)

Very fun! Thank you!

Knitting Kris said...

Your twelve days of Christmas has made me chuckle on even the worst days....Thank you!
Hope your holidays were filled with only the best things!

Bobbi said...

The next thing we'll be reading is how Dolores is hitting on her probation officer

Lynne said...

Lovin' the humor! Wishing you and the sheeply and woolly ones a very happy new year - L.

kim.chicago said...

Day 12 would make a great image for t-shirts. You ought to include it on CafePress.

Turtle said...

that was great! That would make a perfect xmas card!

mary said...

So Franklin - any chance that these may appear next year as a set of Christmas cards in the shop? Or perhaps a shirt?

Please???????

SandyH said...

Are you okay? You haven't posted in awhile and although you're no doubt busy with your life I did just want to check to be sure everything in your neck of the woods was going smoothly. You're more than just a blogger to the rest of us, we think of you as a friend, too!

cavalaxis said...

Doris is catting around town again. We have photographic evidence.

KnittingPuppy said...

I told my sister you had said "normal blogging resumes tomorrow" and that it had been a week with no posts since then, and she said, "well, that's normal...." ;-) --Mindy in ABQ

Anonymous said...

If Harry could, please, let us know how he's doing...

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