Hi it's Harry. I am writing from somewhere on the road, I am not sure where exactly but I think we are still in Illinois. We are all okay except Stan who got stepped on when we were in Marengo and Dolores had a wardrobe malfunction and it got kind of wild and somebody called the police and we spent part of the night in jail, and Stan got into a rumble with this guy named Fang and then they had to put us in a special cell all by ourselves except for this ball of acrylic worsted that was in on a charge of public lewdness.
Dolores said not to worry that all the big celebrities are having criminal records now like Paris Hilton and it's just a normal part of show business like having your breasts done or sleeping with Julia Roberts.
So far the show is a hit I think but we changed a few numbers like the Tribute to the Moulin Rouge because Victorine said the can can is not so impressive when sock yarn is doing it because we don't have any legs to kick with. While we are driving between gigs Victorine is teaching us the kind of French they speak in Canada and at first it made my throat hurt but now it's fun because I am getting so good at it I can insult filthy Anglos and they don't even know it.
I am doing very well as a performer and Dolores lets me do a solo between the first and second act and collect tips, when we played Gurnee I made $4.32. I am saving up to buy a new Kenneth Cole ball band.
Well I guess that is all for now I hope we come home soon because the food is pretty bad please say hi to Mrs Teitelbaum for me and all the neighbors. All the guys say hi and we hope you are not so lonely without us there Dolores says why don't you put down the damn knitting and try hanging out at the corner of Broadway and Roscoe in your chaps.
PS Here is our tour poster please save it I want to put it in my scrapbook when we get home. I am sorry it kind of smells like a beer but so do we all right now.