Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Knitting Amnesia

I was rummaging around in my bag this morning while waiting for the train and found this.

Sock

It's quite a bit of sock–from the top of the leg to just past the gusset. It has dear little cables in it, separated by something akin to moss stitch. Not bad work on the whole.

And yet I have no memory whatever of knitting it.

Possible explanations:
  1. Elves live in my gym bag and are knitting socks to pass the time.
  2. I was abducted by aliens. During my "lost hours" aboard the spacecraft I needed something to keep me occupied in between invasive, quasi-erotic medical experiments.
  3. It's actually a cleverly-disguised transmitter planted by the FBI, which hopes to collect enough material to finally bring Dolores to justice.
Reasons the above cannot be true:
  1. Nothing sentient could survive for fifteen minutes sealed up in a bag with my gym shoes.
  2. I don't live anywhere near Roswell, New Mexico; and none of my orifices show signs of interference.
  3. Even the FBI has given up on trying to reform Dolores.
So I figure it must be mine. I must have worked on it here and there, in between moments of on-the-job overtime horror, as a sedative or an anesthetic. That would help to explain how I made it through Homecoming without leaving the usual trail of broken bodies in my wake.

The pattern is once again the work of that sweetie-pie Charlene Schurch, and it's turning out to be just as much fun as this one. I wonder who it was that first said, "Charlene, honey, why don't you write a book about socks?" Whoever it was, we owe the person a debt of gratitude and a plate of cookies.

Back On the Air

After an inexplicably long hiatus (my fault, not Brenda Dayne's) I'm once again to be heard in an upcoming episode of Cast On: A Podcast for Knitters. Listen for me around Hallowe'en.

Advance warning: I'm reading a poem. That's all I'm saying. I can't believe I'm even saying that, because honestly I've always felt one of the most chilling sentences in the English language is "I have just written some poetry, and would like to share it with you."

39 comments:

Liz said...

I read the first explanation as 'Elvis lives in my gym bag'. It's late here... but it's a striking image.

Marcia in austin said...

Robert Heinlein's Lazarus Long said: "Poets who read their verse in public may have other nasty habits."

Liz said...

As long as it's not Vogon poetry...

And I also read it as "Elvis" rather than elves. My only excuse is that, rather than Homecoming, I'm emerging from the fog of a major fundraiser.

Anonymous said...

Darlin', you could read the phone book and I'd listen and enjoy. You're just That Good.

Fredda said...

So glad to see some knitting again! I missed you at Rhinebeck last year (my bad) and again this year (your bad). Hope to meet you soon. If you're ever in upstate NY...

Mel said...

Elves, Elvis. You could probably argue that at least one of them isn't sentient - at least not anymore.

I can hardly wait for the new season of Cast On. I made a point of buying from Briar Rose at Rhinebeck and telling them it was to keep them supporting Brenda. Shameless, yes, but we all know she's worth it, as is the opportunity to get you "on air" now and again.

Sean said...

That's a great book Charlene Schurch has written...we can't keep it in stock at the shop.

It's really a wonderful sock! Good work, Franklin!

MonicaPDX said...

"...we owe the person a debt of gratitude and a plate of cookies."

I'll contribute a plate of brownies from the Best Recipe I've Ever Found. *Magnificent* book, and thank you again for mentioning it when you started knitting socks! My copy's already getting battered.

That's a great-lookin' sock. Perchance an instance of automatic knitting instead of automatic writing? ;) I love the beautiful blue, too. Now I'm thinking about the Suffolk X fleece I just got, and wondering which of Cushing's blues would come closest to the color that my monitor's showing... Dammit, Franklin, you're dangerous. You need a warning label!

DianeS said...

Those socks are terrific! Yet another item to add to my overflowing basket (er closet) of possibilites.

AnnP said...

Glad to know about your appearance on Cast On. I'll be watching er..listening for you.

canknitian said...

Admiring your sock, I thought "Gee, I wish I had the pattern..." and then you finished *your* thought and made my day. Hurray for Charlene Schurch and the person who encouraged her to write that book! Smooches for everyone!

Also, I agree with Liz...as long it's not Vogon poetry, bring it on!

Jenn said...

That sentence is only chilling if it comes from someone under the age of 18, someone wearing head-to-toe black, someone who has just begun or ended a passionate love affair, or, most terrifyingly, all of the above.

Sean said...

It's a great looking sock, that's for sure. I'd just put in back in your bag and check in a few months to see if its mate has appeared.

Ruth said...

If the poetry is neither Vogan nor that of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, I am all ears.

Nice sock.

janel said...

perhaps you're sleep knitting? That could explain elves, elvis, aliens AND the FBI all at once!

It's quite a nice sock, I'm interested to see it finished. Just a little more REM and you might have a pair!

Sharon Rose said...

Another possible... you unwittingly stole another knitter's project while packing up, post Stitch & Bitch. Oops!

Kate said...

So this is when we find out that knitting cables is actually a form of mind control??
For whatever reason, the sock reminded me of your Regicide Scarf. (Yep, not sure what made the synapses connect that way.) If it doesn't infringe copyright, are you able to post/send the pattern?

dragon knitter said...

i'll bet it's hauntingly good (i hope, halloween is my fav)

junior_goddess said...

The sock is beautiful. Do some more knitting you can't remember

shyknitter said...

I think this knitting amnesia is more common than one would think. My mother came across a patchwork sweater in her closet that she has no recollection knitting. The only reason why she knows she made it is that she recognized the different yarn used from her stash.

Norskybear said...

"None of my orifices show signs of interference."

Sounds like you need to get laid.

Susan said...

Was there a wee note tucked in with the socks reading, "no more twist?"

Liz L said...

Have been reading blog for some time, but I just had to respond when I saw your sock.

I can't believe it! This is the same pattern I am now knitting for a pair of knee socks in burgundy! What are the odds of that? Hmm??

And, you are correct; it is a moss stitch in between the cables.

Carol said...

Beautiful sock, I wish almost completed items would start showing up in my house...

Sherry W said...

If you DO happen to run across those sock knitting elves, send them my way. I could use them in a steamer trunk with my sock yarn stash.

Jena the yarn harpy said...

none of my orifices show signs of interference

Truly the best phrase I've read or heard all day. I teach middle school chorus, so this is an accomplishment. I hear things that would grey your hair and curl your toenails. ;)

MollyBeees said...

I read that first reason as'"ELVIS lives in my gym bag" too! It explains a lot! I was wondering where he was!

pamela said...

I hope it's "The Raven"!

Beth said...

'because honestly I've always felt one of the most chilling sentences in the English language is "I have just written some poetry, and would like to share it with you."'

That is right up there with "Let me show you the slides from our family vacation."

jayne said...

Ack!! No, slides are definitely worse. I've just been writing an essay on family photographs, and the paragraph about my dad and his slide shows hits all my buttons. Read a thousand poems if you must, but NO slides.

KellyD said...

When it comes to knitting amnesia, it REALLY bites when you start a project, go looking for yarn you know you have to finish it and find the SAME project at the same level of progress. Now that is definately Knit-himers (not that I have even done this, of course)

Natalie Servant said...

The elves line made me laugh out loud at my desk. I steeled myself against further outbursts before I continued reading.

Oh, and I'm going to blame you for the run on Charlene Schurch's book at my local library. It'll be months before I get a peek.

David said...

Could you send those elves my way? My winter coat needs mending again. And about those orifices...

Bev in TN said...

It's been 3 days...I hope that fake smile has relaxed by now. Charlene Schurch is my fav as well. In fact, perusing her book lead me to realize that all one really needs for a sock pattern (in addition to her book) is a stitch encyclopedia, yay!

P.S.: I do hope Delores is safe. Did she enjoy Homecoming as much as you did?

Nad said...

I love the poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually fast-forwarded to your reading as I could not wait to hear all about the Romney!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Loved the poem on Cast-On. Thank you very much for that.

Carol said...

A late comment on your poetry remark - it so reminded me of the Vogons reading their poetry as torture in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy! I'm looking forward to your Cast-on episode. I'm sure it will be great!

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Agen Bola said...

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