Friday, July 28, 2006

What It Feels Like for a Boy

Probably four or five times in the past I've rolled my eyes at the idea of the "man's point of view" on knitting. Man or woman, you pick up the needles, you cast on, you knit. Unless you have a particularly stupendous bosom or a notably gigantic whanger it's unlikely that either is going to change the way you work stockinette.

This morning, however, I have had a knitting related experience probably unique to the male half of the species. I was drying off after my morning shower and heard the soft click of something hitting the bathroom tile. I thought perhaps I'd lost an earring.

I bent down and found it wasn't an earring that had fallen, it was small orange stitch marker.

Nothing remarkable about that, except that I haven't used those stitch markers since Tuesday when I was knitting in bed. Which means this particular marker must have lodged itself in my considerable chest hair and remained hidden there through two thorough showers Wednesday and Thursday (one in the morning, one after the gym) and another today.

Perhaps I ought to do a bit of searching and see if that #2 dpn turns up.

On the Needles

Marilyn, who takes a motherly interest in my knitting progress, pointed out that it's been awhile since any actual works-in-progress showed up around here. I know, I know. The sad fact is, until I got a shot in the arm from Knitting Camp there wasn't much going on, certainly not enough to justify a post. The few things I was working on were boring me, and I'd rather not show them than risk boring you.

However, several items of mild interest will appear next week when I've had a moment to photograph them.

Darn, I shouldn't have said anything. Now you won't be able to sleep all weekend.

51 comments:

Carol said...

Imagine what the proctologist must see.

persones llanes said...

You just made my day!

Chris said...

stitch marker - round.
Navel - innie? outie?

Joe Klinkhoff said...

This was one of the funniest things I have read in a while. Not only that I never knew there was a menknit ring or menknit.net Kepp up the good work

Colleen said...

Snort. Really, I did. I snorted. Now my uvula hurts.

Diane said...

Franklin, I should know better than to try to drink my coffee and read your blog at the same time.

Cheryl said...

I almost died when I read this.... I always find them in my bra ....but CHEST HAIR??!!! ROFLMAO!!!

Lee Ann said...

I'm not even going to tell you where I've found my stitch markers. I will say, however, that they were not lodged in my chest hair.

The Purloined Letter said...

Cheryl beat me to it: women with even sort-of ample bosoms find them near our chests frequently!

I am so pleased to be following Lee Ann in the comments! (Glad to have you back!)

Joe said...

Alas, no chest hair to worry about his happening to me, but I am now sleepless in New Hope, awaiting your W'sIP.

Since I still owe you yarn or fine chocolate due to calve-related insults, I'd be glad to contribute something towards a new WIP if you need it.

LaurieM said...

It's the fact that the persistent little marker managed to hang around through 2 showers that totally cracks me up. No amount of random crumbs that have snuck into my bra could ever duplicate such a feat!

TheWoolgatherer said...

Delurking to say I LOVE your blog - you make me laugh on so many levels.

hillary said...

Thanks for making my day. I'll be certain to keep my super furry hubbo away from my knitting as i chuckle at the thought of this post.

Danny Ouellette said...

[G] Thanks Franklin! I needed that laugh today.

Luckily your beard isn't a bit longer. I used to put my cable needles in mine when it was a bit longer. It was convenient and worked well. And I did forget it there a couple times. Thankfully didn't go to work like that though!

Have a good weekend and go knit/spin something!

Jon said...

Are you sure it was in your chest hair and not caught in any of your piercings....

sahara said...

My co-workers are wondering why I am laughing!

I must say I'm heartened to know that chest hair is acceptable among my gay bretheren in Chicago. These kids in NYC are killing me with this constant electrolysis.

Don't sweat the knit posts. One of the reasons I read your blog, is that the content consists of more than "yesterday I knitted two rows––yipee!"

Anonymous said...

LMAO

wonder if lars has ever had this happen to him...inquiring minds wanna know...

I like hairy guys; pity most of 'em these days look like newborns.

have a good weekend!

anne marie in philly

Donna said...

hehe like Cheryl I tend to lose stitch markers in my bra. Next time I can't find the stitch marker in my bra I am so gonna search my husbands chest hair.

David said...

Just how much chest hair are we talking here? I keep mine groomed to avoid such situations.

ted said...

How do you know it was caught in your chest hair? It could have been hair elsewhere.

rho said...

Am I the only one wondering if he had gone shirtless anywhere and has now started a new style for men - guess we just have to wait and see....

brewerburns said...

Hilarious.

angie cox said...

Electrolysis ..if Franklin has the sort of chest hair I fear he'd never be able to afford it .Holly came out of our gay friend's bathroom ( who we've seen shirtless for years ..no signs of hair) and asked why he had lots of Immac. He still has hairy legs ( shorts ) so what is he doing with it .Next time I see his non live in boyfriend I can't try peering down his shirt can I .I've always wondered if it feels really hot ?

Rachel H said...

I was about to say 'this could only happen to you', but then I thought it more appropriate to say 'only you would admit to this'.

Jack said...

Franklin, Franklin, Franklin:
I'll admit I hardly noticed the way in which you drew your calves the other day. I was too focused on the way you drew your cute bum. Now you go and use an expression like,"my considerable chest hair". Before long I'm going to forget all about knitting, and your intimidating talent and erudition, and come to think of you merely as a sex object.

Helen said...

Franklin, some of us are _still_ waiting for more pictures from the cruise, especially for pictures of your tea with the crocheting ladies. I'll admit I've had to uncross my legs a few times in the intervening weeks but I am eager nevertheless. Since I'm a Muggle, I think the WIPs are less urgent.

sara14 said...

my mind boggles at the thought of where that dpn could be!
Ouch!

christine said...

Maybe you could weave some stitch markers in some of that abundant chest hair, you know --- like body jewelry.

Wear a few on Monday, and that way I'll be sure to recognize you!

Tee hee.............

Eldronius said...

Oh my, Franklin. One should not use terms like "considerable" chest hair and not expect some of us to swoon.

Lynae said...

LMAO!

Toss the dpns and switch to circs!

Mary said...

If you can get a stitch marker caught in your chest hair for 3 days--I'd look to Dolores for that dpn. But be careful when you're looking--you might find things you'd rather not know were there. Mary

ForestBird said...

The really dedicated knitter will use the stitch marker as a nipple ring...

PuppyMomma said...

If you find the needle, I'm not sure I want to know about it.

Though I do have a 'super-ample' chest, and have lost a cable needle down there before...got lodged in the under-side kinda.....

Marilyn said...

You sure that marker was caught in the chest hair?

I'd question that location. Could it have been trapped in your pyloric valve?

You know that I want to see your knitting because you're so damned good.

And I will admit that many times, my chest hair has trapped rather peculiar objets.

marie in florida said...

a girl friend of mine found her boyfriends earring in her hair once, but not in her chest hair. are you sure it was in your *ahem* chest hair?

dragon knitter said...

ok, i'm about to be evil.


are you sure it was your CHEST hair?

(runs & hides, now)

Isela: Purling Sprite said...

Hehehehe, keep on searching and keep us posted on that dpn

Whining Procrastinator said...

Just so long as C doesn't get distressed when stitch markers hang out in his chest hair!

I just promised my sweetheart I'd be very careful with stitch markers in bed.

Isn't it wonderful that the people who love us put up with us knitting in bed?

Rabbitch said...

And this, darling, is why I wax my chest on a weekly basis.

Word to the wise.

"zogepog"? WTF is a zogepog? (my verification word

Abby said...

Franklin, I loved your entries about knitting camp.
I wanted to let you know that I have finally gotten myself a blog. And you are mentioned in my first post. Thought you might want to see.
craftyasaserpent.blogspot.com

Cheers!

Susan said...

That's one of the funniest things I've heard in days.

Jenna said...

I enjoyed your description of knitting camp as I have never been and it sounded like fun. Did Dolores also have a nice time at camp. Did she play nice with the other campers???

Mel said...

*snigger* I'm not sayin' a thing.

As for sleep, though, you can bet that after working a 15 hour shift and going home to clean up for imminent houseguests, I will be sleeping. Suspense is for the well-rested, bygooro (my verification word sounds like an interjection!).

Dee said...

Oh thank heavens I am not the only one! On a good day I'll find that piece of popcorn I dropped, perhaps a missing earring and a rubber ring marker when I dress for bed.

I wonder if stitch markers can double as nipple rings?

Anonymous said...

Hello, just wondering if you knew what item Carol Shirley was modeling in her jaunty runway walk? It is a coat of some kind, maybe out of Noro? I loved it!
nice report on knitting camp. LOVED the Barbie display.
carol g.

FiberQat said...

Tell C to quit noodgin' you and make you drop your stitch markers.

I'll bet Dolores has your dpn for use as a fleece stick. (yckkfjcs as the word verifier says)

Lisa and Robb said...

It is likely that you had not, in fact, been carrying this stitch marker around for two days, but that you just snagged it the last time you got out of bed.

But then, I know naught of your chest hair.

Knitting Painter Woman said...

Glad I wasn't drinking when I read this. I'd have spit on my clapotis.

Anonymous said...

i stopped reading after "chest hair" because i started daydreaming, since chest hair makes me oh so happy...

drew
http://colorguardblog.blogs.com/knitblog/

Sakebottleswing said...

It's only somewhat of a unique experience. I've gotten stitch markers and needles stuck in my cleavage before.

My word verification for today is "prepun". Is it that feeling of guilt one feels just before telling a particularly bad pun?

www.santa-cruz-3d.com said...

Well, I don't actually think this is likely to have effect.