Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Medal Mailbag

I'm trying to be better about responding to e-mails, so when I got the following two amusing notes about the Gold Medal (rather different in tenor than the very kind words so many of you have sent) I decided it behooved me to immediately give them the responses they deserve.

(I quote verbatim.)

From J* in Kansas

Dear Franklin,

I am sorry to see that when you made the medal you put a naked person on it. My children and family look at my blog and so do members of my church. I worked hard and I really wanted this medal and now I can't use it. I can't put a naked picture on my blog. I wish you had thought of how other people live when you made a medal that is supposed to be for everybody.

Dear J,

I know just what you mean. I can't count the number of times I've had to answer the door or the telephone while cooking and come back to find my rice had burned and left a nasty black stain on the bottom of my stainless steel pots. And that stuff doesn't come off easily, either!

If you don't have access to one of those fancy dishwashers with a pot scrubber cycle, try this: bring a mix of clean water and 3 or 4 tablespoons of baking soda to a full boil, and let it continue to boil for a good half-hour or so. (Don't let it boil away!) You'll likely find that this helps to loosen that stubborn black crust enough to allow you to scour it away with a good helping of elbow grease and a piece of steel wool.

Thank you for writing!

Cordially,
Franklin

From L* in Wisconsin

Nice job, asshole. You make a button for a zillion knitters who are almost ALL WOMEN and you put a fucking MAN on it. Fuck you.

Dear L,

Rest assured, it's not nearly so complicated as it seems. Here, in a nutshell, are the rules for turning the corners on your visiting card:
  • Upper right corner turned: the visit was made in person
  • Upper left corner turned: expression of congratulations
  • Lower right corner turned: indicates taking one's leave, also known as pour prendre congĂ©
  • Lower left corner turned: expression of condolence to one in mourning
Note that in some regions meanings may differ or be differently shaded. For example, in New York City a folded upper corner (either side) often means that the visit was meant for all ladies of the family. You would do well, if you are newly settled in a strange area, to learn from your neighbors their own interpretations of this custom before turning your cards.

Thank you for writing, and I wish you every success in making new friends.

Yours very truly,
Franklin

*Initials changed because, well, I'm just that kind of guy.

135 comments:

christine said...

Wow, how un-blue state.........I never thought of either issue...
Is there something missing in my brain?
This is pure silly........
And you know what my verification word is: "godknws"

No kidding..........

Anonymous said...

Very nicely stated. I'm hope the authors find your response edifying.

LaurieM

Molly said...

And he barely even counts as naked, anyway.

The ancient Romans and Greeks? Totally, totally laughing at us right now (and by "us" I mean "J"). I went to the Uffizi today. That's to say, a museum full of statues of naked men. I mean seriously naked, bits on display. Sometimes they're wrestling, too.
I was, of course, surrounded by school groups. In Italy. So, school groups made up of let's say one-third practicing Catholics and one-third we-don't-make-it-to-church-much Catholics.

And a heck of a lot of nuns, too.

They didn't seem to mind the nudity. But clearly, "J" knows best. ::rolls eyes::

LOVE the medal. I didn't compete (because I'm competitive, and I would have done my tendons a damage!) but the second time I really, really wished I had was when I saw the medals. (First time was when I read Stephanie's Podium post).

Thanks, and ignore the freaks.

Kat said...

Do J and L know that the athletes in the original Olympic games were male AND naked?

Jenipurr said...

Wow. That first complainer sure has a great imagination. I stared long and hard at the medal after reading your post, and okay, you see some muscles in the legs and in the chest, but the middle's kind of abstract, and it wouldn't have occurred to me to think the figure is naked at all.

Unless...maybe it's the exposed feet she's objecting too. Those shocking, naked bare feet. Won't someone think of the children.

xmasberry said...

What a great tip on cleaning the burnt food from pots! That happens to me all the time. Usually because i go off to take photographs of naked men while i've got that rice on the stove.

Franklin said...

Maybe I should have reassured the first lady that he's wearing a Willy Warmer, you just can't see it.

Anyhow, this kinda thing cracks me up. I consider it a benefit of blogging. Takes all kinds to make a world, and some kinds were put there for the rest of us to snicker at.

Ashley said...

Okay, so he's naked, but that's the way the ancient greeks did it. I was quite fond of your medal, besides everything that needed to be covered was covered, and it's not like it was a real person with parts stratigically covered.

Susan said...

Apparently, classic Greek sculpture is not in everyone's taste. I even learned something from this escapade, since it was nagging me what sclpture that was. Discobolos. And it was on the 1948 London Olympics poster. That's history those folks are dissin'!

cat said...

I'm... I don't know what I am but sitting here with my jaw dropped at disbelief over these people. OMG where the hell do some of these people come from? Wonderful tips, I do have to remember the difference in corner turning for my NY friends. Thanks!

David said...

What a pair of tools. Your diplomacy is worthy of its own medal.

Kim said...

Your responses are hilarious. Well done. Very well done.

debsnm said...

It's a MALE???? And he's NAKED???? Where? When? How come I miss ALL the fun???????

Christine said...

Ha! You are a very nice man, Franklin Habit. I personally would have told them to f*ck off! And you know what, they don't have to put it on their blog...hell they could make thier own.

Amy said...

Umm, now I'm wondering if my beloved Step-Grandmama has moved to Kansas. When she and my Grandfather came back from Spain she showed me an art book from the Prado that she had thoughtfully censored so as to avoid offending anyone.

Paige said...

Franklin,
I'm a regular reader but rarely comment. I just have to say that I loved your medal and wish that I had done something to earn one myself. I don't even have a blog but I would have found some way to proudly display it. You handled the situation with your usual humor and grace which is what keeps me coming back to get my daily fix.
Paige

M-H said...

I always think you've seen everything, and then i get another surprise. A-mazing. There's truly now't so queer as folks.

Rebekkah said...

bwah!

Should I be glad that I didn't write to ask why you chose a depiction of summer olympics sports for a winter olympics medal? It would have been a joke, anyway, but I thought it would have been really funny for the ball of yarn to be a curling stone instead of a discus. 'Cause curling is *always* funny.

I love the medal you created. I wasn't an olympian, but for the first time, I have Knitting Olympics envy.

Hockey Mom said...

OMG. You are kidding, right?

You are truly someone to look up to. I'm aghast and can't even imaging someone would write those letters.

Hockey Mom said...

K, I'm so aghast, that I can't spell imagine correctly.

Sorka said...

Boy.. do ya'll get dressed and shower in the dark too? ah well..Yeah.. see now we are here to say everything you thought and didn't.. it'a a classical greek statue image!!! OI!!
I LIKE IT!


Denise
knitchat.com

Franklin said...

RK, I'm an American. I don't know from curling. (And I really have tried to figure it out, what with all the Canadians I know seem to know through blogging.

One version of the medal did have a scarf on the guy to try and get the "winter" point across, but it just looked silly. Unlike the final version which is, of course, the picture of dignity.

Y'all are too sweet.

Alyssa said...

Bravo! You answered with much more tact than I ever could have mustered.

Rebekkah said...

Franklin, I love the medal anyway. Curling is fun to watch, though as I'm not Canadian, I forget the rules from Olympics to Olympics. My brain is just not wired for it, but it's fun to watch rocks bump into each other while people in polo shirts chase them with brooms.

Now, a naked guy figure skating... *that* would have elicited some interesting emails! ;-)

Zooks said...

Franklin, not only are you talented, but you are priceless in a totally classy way! I just adore how you didn't take the easy way out by blasting back at them in kind. (Note to self: I've been guilty of blasting. I shall strive to comport myself more in the manner of Franklin.)

Elaine said...

Somewhere there is a very lonely rock having been recently abandoned by it's only inhabitants.
Love the medal Franklin and now I think I'll post it in FULL size just so that people can see it in it's full glory. You are a total piece of work Franklin, and that's my highest level of praise.

Grace said...

Franklin, very sorry you got some of the crazies in the world responding. I was not able to compete but I loved the button. How it was assumed bare torso equaled total naked (since you can not see entireity on the button) one can only assume. Your responses to the two messages were wonderful. Grace

Lee Ann said...

We were supposed to use *steel* wool?

Oh, fuck. There goes my medal.

I'm counting on the fact that you are the most dignified creature on the face of the earth and will therefore allow me to display this lovely medal on my site anyway. Herculean wet llama effort, and all that.

Netter said...

The grand dames of etiquette could not have comported themselves better. I wish I had been able to finish my event so I could proudly display the naked guy on my blog.

lori said...

I think i have to agree with what
"debsnm said..."
I have just recently found your site and have enjoyed it a lot.
lori

Heather said...

Oh for the love of God. People will bitch about anything. I'm sorry. I really like the medal...and wish I could have earned one. Obviously a few nutjobs really need a life.

Geogrrl said...

Your response to the nutbuckets was graceful, gracious, and hilarious. I'm afraid I would have blasted them myself--just what they want.

The "medal" you designed is wonderful. It's appropriate to the Knitting Olympics and incorporates the spirit and history of the Olympic Games.

Your post will have me giggling and snorting the rest of the day.

CynCyn said...

I wish I had been more mindful when I chose my KO project so that I could proudly display the gold medal... My response to the kind email from L*: Since we are mostly all women, and arguably, mostly straight women, it makes sense to let us appreciate the fine male physique on the gold medal.
And if you did it all just for the freaking medal and not the sense of self accomplishment? Then I turn the lower left corner of my calling card for them. My condolences that you (meaning the writer of nasty email) are such a foul mouthed and ungrateful beeyatch.

Colleen said...

I am so fuckin' ashamed to be from Kansas right now.

Bravo, Mr. Habit. I salute you.

goblinbox said...

Oh. My. God. "Nice job asshole"? NAKED PERSON?! How can you even tell he's naked?

HELLO, OLYMPICS?!?!?

I have to go lie down for a moment.

Aidan said...

I am fairly certain that there is nothing wrong with either author that a diuretic and a public whipping wouldn't cure.

It's times like this that make me sorry unruly mobs have fallen out of vogue.

I have so many nasty things I could say -- many involving cows -- I fear I would sound like I was channeling Eric Cartman. I think I had better go to a quiet room and try to visit my happy place.

I think I have my next project in mind...a Bad JuJu doll.

Anonymous said...

I liked the medal and wished I entered but oh well. If you want me to explain curling, I will.
As curling is a Scottish game, traditionally kilts are worn and in some clubs in Canada, women are not allowed to compete in pants. So you could have had a man curling with "clothing malfunction" and showed a lot more than what you did with a naked man on the medal. But I guess men probably don't go bare under a kilt while curling. Some things would just get to close to the ice...

Teresa

Lucia said...

You would think people with too much imagination and too much free time would, I don't know, design jockstraps or something.

Heather said...

ignorance runs rampant... and much too eager to expose itself...*giggle* I just typed expose itself... and if a knitting needle is a phalic symbol... she's been hanging out with the wrong naked men... *giggle* I just typed hanging out.
knit on.

noricum said...

Does this mean we weren't required to compete naked in the knitting olympics? Oh my! No wonder I got all those stares on the bus...

wittyknits said...

I feel odd that this is my first comment here but I must remark on your first response--I did just this last week (only it was oatmeal, not rice) and now my darling roommate is giving me the odd looks as I ignore the charred pan on the counter.

I can't even begin to respond to your two rather sheltered readers up there. Wouldn't know where to start.

Bonne Marie said...

The Church Lady speaketh and we not listen...

Blog Naked! [pWHo doesn't?]

Darci said...

It is official, Franklin - I love you. I hope to be able to channel you when the parents of my 7th grade students email me, questioning my ability to teach or develop a lesson plan.

I found you through the KO and fell better for it.

Franklin said...

Knit naked?

Knit naked.

I feel a t-shirt coming on.

Cheryl said...

YES! I definitely want a knit naked shirt!!

Sherry W said...

OK, so I had to google 'visiting card'. Thanks for the education!

Julie said...

So you make us all a cool-looking, FREE medal for our blogs, and people... complain... about them...

You dealt with it with a lot more grace than I would have. I probably (Probably? Surely.) decended into Rantsville over that.

Thanks for the gold medals. And the laughs.

And is that guy even naked? His, uh, useful parts look kinda blurry from here...

Anonymous said...

For J* in Kansas:

I feel sorry for your children, family, and members of your church as they will never, EVER be able to go into a museum featuring classical art or sculpture. They will therefore miss out on a very large part of the culture that was instrumental in creating the society we now live in. I hope you all enjoy sittin' on the porch pickin' your banjos, 'cuz that's obviously the only "cultcher" you're likely to get.

threadingwater said...

Man, that Wisconsin b*tch sounds downright scary. If I were you, I'd be canceling any Door County trips you might have planned. She's likely to be watching for you from the weeds. On behalf of all the really, really nice Wisconsinites who hate causing any trouble at all, I apologize.
BTW, nice medal. My main reason for joining the knitting olympics was to get a Franklin original for my website. Thanks.

Arlette said...

As to using a woman on the medal -- for classical statues, your most recognizable options would be the Venus de Milo and the Winged Victory of Samothrace ...

... neither of which have arms to knit with.

Zardra said...

What does that say about J's friends and family if all they would harp on is a nakes guy on her blog and not the fact that she accomplished something?

Carrie said...

Franklin, won't you be mine? You're too funny for my sorry vocabulary to really do you justice.
Maybe J thought that wasn't really a knitting needle.
And maybe L sat on HER knitting needle. Or something. Or maybe SHE should have made her own damn medal.
Anyway, I loved the medal, I love your artwork, I think you're fantastic, and I hope to see more naked men on your blog in the future!

Nerdy Knitter said...

Considering what you did was a free gift, you'd think everyone would just be grateful, for pete's sake! (Oops, "pete" is a man...)

Carrie said...

PS - I am SO buying a Knit Naked t-shirt. That's definitely a form of knitting that my husband would be able to appreciate. Oooh, can't wait.
Hmm, maybe a t-shirt urging me to be naked would be counterproductive. Maybe a tattoo across my chest?

Barb B. said...

Well, I guess neither of them will be in the market for a "gift of knitting" Panopticon item.
I thought I'd seen and heard it all when some female objected to me (a woman) bringing my 3 month old son into the washroom to change his diaper. Her granddaughter was there, and the old bat covered the kid's eyes so she wouldn't see anything nasty.

The sad part is, at least one of these people has children. What the hell kind of life do they lead?
Barb B.

LB said...

LOL I love how silly people are!

Donna in Virginia said...

After reading the first comment, I raced to view the medal again thinking I had missed the interesting parts. But alas, there are no "naughty" parts showing on the medal. I personally think I am now bothered by the lack of graphic nudity.

Eldronius said...

Seriously, that is really messed up. It saddens me that someone can get so worked up over a picture of a sculpture of a model. The picture itself does not count as "nude"...that is ridiculous. Nor is the nude figure doing anything that could be considered obscene. Making a big deal out of it by saying he is naked and offensive does the damage moreso than any actual nudity. I cannot handle this conservite religious type of freaking out.
How many Europeans fall over laughing at us because of this?

--Deb said...

Oh lord, people are just insane; it's the only explanation.

And, anyway, don't most women enjoy looking at fit, athletic men? Add a knitting needle, a ball of yarn, and oh yeah, gold, and really--who can complain?

Liz said...

Gee, and here I am thinking that if you're going to go to all the trouble of putting a naked man on the medal, you could at least give me a peek.

Maybe J thinks that the naked men only apply to the summer Olympics since they'd freeze their dangly bits off in the snow?

Bonnita said...

To Wisconsin
Adam and Eve were naked too you dip shit!

Anonymous said...

Ahh, Kansas. Wow. Makes want to visit there and run around nekkid a bit. Or at least in my undapants. In a church.

You may have taken the comment from WI wrong. Maybe the writer really does want to fuck you. God knows I do. Oops. Now this has to be anonymous.

Mel said...

Thank you so much for clarifying. My memory being what it is, I can never remember the proper conventions for visiting cards. I think I shall print this out and carry it with me as a reference.

And I love the medal - covet it, even. Now I feel bad that I didn't just go ahead and sign up, especially since I actually finished my Unlympic project. Stupid tendons.

Lady Wyvern said...

The dude is nakey???? Damn I need glasses..... Am I missing something, cause as far as I can see, the hangy downs are obscured.
Oh well, what do I know... Here I thought OH WOW, Franklin made him anatomically correct.. Sheesh get my hopes up Franklin

Anonymous said...

Now that I think about it a little more, I think you kinda liked that mean dirty talk from WI. Why don't you knit yourself a sling, then let's talk. (To those of you in KS, I'm referring to a sling in which to carry one's Bible to church in. And when I suggested fucking a while ago, I meant in a purely christian way.) ahem. oh, dear. Now I have to be anonymous again.

Betsy said...

Franklin, Franklin, Franklin...you create a seriously classy and historically correct medal and these goofballs(oooo, I used the word BALLS...naughty,naughty,naughty) don't have the energy to use the delete button or to click to another web site...glad you can find humor in it...makes me crazy...
Can't we all get along (oh...apparently not...how very religious of them...not).
At any rate...thanks for the medal and for the knit naked shirt that we all know is COMING (oooooo...probably another dirty word).

Stuntmother said...

This makes me sad (although your responses make me happy so perhaps it balances out). I do not like seeing my worst fears about people confirmed.

Anyway, I loved the medal and wished I could rightfully claim it. But I enjoy seeing it on others' blogs and I smile whenever I see it.

Elemmaciltur said...

Hehehe, very nice Franklin.

There sure are some real dipwits out there. *sighs*

RedHeadedGeek said...

OK, clearly the first woman doesn't have enough sex in her diet to truly appreciate the male form, church goer or not. What are we supposed to think that storks brought their babies?

The second one was just stupid, if they dont like the gold medal than i can easily make them a bronze one with a big hand flipping the bird whilst holding a pair of knitting needles.

thankyou, Franklin, for taking time out of your days and knitting time to make a medal, I myself didn't earn it but I still appreciate it.

vanessa said...

thanks for designing the medal, i love it.

Emily said...

OMG Franklin, you are TOO MUCH. I am wiping away tears of laughter reading your replies. Bravo!

Joanna said...

Oh golly miss molly, there are some strange people in this world - and I just put the medal on my site and was thrilled with you and it!!! How funny!

Sally said...

How very sad that there are people like that. On the other hand, Franklin, you are one class act. I love your blog, and the gold medal you designed! Thank you!!

Will Pillage For Yarn said...

I liked the medal. Who doesn't like a naked Greek guy with a ball of yarn in one hand and a big stick in the ot.... er.

Right then. Carry on.

Celtic Knitter said...

I hadn't seen your medal and so I went looking for some crude drawing . . . and I didn't find . . . then I realized that the classy medal that you created was what they were complaining about. Crazy or what??!!?? They are always welcome to create their own medals.

Anonymous said...

Haha, Heather's comments were really funny. I love the button, and I would seriously buy a Knit Naked t-shirt.

Paul said...

Franklin,

You are absolutely PRECIOUS!

And your responses were so totally appropriate to their e-mails. What do these people do with their lives??...

Ellen in Conn said...

Whee-HA! Righteously indignant babes unite!

IRV said...

I love you more & more w/ every post! If you ever come to B'more, I might just have to have my way w/ you. You're so fucking cute. I love it.

Corbie said...

Brilliant!

See also "okoge". Hm.

And, in all seriousness, thanks for the cleaning tip. I actually do burn rice, even using the rice cooker.

Kat with a K said...

Hah! Neither of those had occurred to me... but I love your responses.

Penny said...

What are the chances we could make this medal into some jewelry? I just think it would be so cool as a necklace or slide.

FiberQat said...

Isn't "Knit Naked" on a t-shirt contradictory?

Good to see you put all that lovely etiquette training to good use. You're such a gentleman. Quentin Crisp would be proud of you.

For J in Kansas, do this. Take your medal picture. Open it in MS Paint. Click on Image, then Stretch/Skew. Enter 2 in the Horizontal and Vertical fields. You now have a medal for your blog and it's too small for your children and church friends to see.

Wannietta said...

Well, if I had realized that we could complain, er, I mean offer up suggestions I would have said that The Olympian isn't naked enough!!
I will echo the sentiments that you are a gentleman and it's regrettable that anyone would cast aspersions on your intentions and efforts.
I love my medal!!

Christina said...

In the words of Red Foreman...

"Dumbasses."

marie in florida said...

haven't read thru the comments yet but i'm sure i'm not going to be the first or only one to ask ; may you please put the medal on a t-shirt. pretty please? or maybe on a calling card?
say, whats with the verivication words today? mine is "myxbud" but i want ya to remain my bud cuz you're just so damn cute , oh, that's bud to the tenth power, eh?

Rachel H said...

Knit naked t-shirt? Yes please.

I think I'm disappointed now though. After reading that first message, I eagerly clicked on the medal and looked for the naughty bits. I looked and looked and looked. And there aren't any.

Tease.

boobookittyfug said...

Bless you, Emily Post.

S.Kate said...

What's to complain about? Doesn't everyone want a Golden Yarn Boy?

Laura said...

I've found Bar Keeper's Friend is also helpful for those pesky pots.

Snicker.

I keep getting the giggles everytime I think about the "naked person."

Thanks so much for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Please please please design a Knit Naked (Knaked?) t-shirt. I would proudly wear it to the Fiber Fest besing held in Addison ('burb of the Dallas that you adore), TX at the end of this April. In fact, why don't you come visit the festival? Me thinks that you'd be quite the celeb. Would you sign my shirt??

patrice

longboat gal said...

Wow, Franklin - look at the number of posts - all positive - and kiss off the assholes who need to get a life! Great job on the positive responses. I don't think I'd have been so gracious. You are a gentleman...and I'm proud of you.

Norah said...

Excellent responses. I'm a woman, and I enjoyed looking at the man on the medal. I didn't think you meant to slight women. And the way he's standing, it's hard to even tell he's naked.

Anny said...

I'm knitting naked right now! It's extra motivation to knit faster on these frigid Canadian nights ;0)

PS - I love love love my medal and can't wait to check out the knit naked tee

Love ya-

Mwah

WesWhiner said...

What a funny, funny entry in your blog! I loved it :-)

D* in California

Jay said...

Franklin, "you can't please all of the people all of the time... but if you're going piss them off then do it with style", and that you did! Well done!

Marie said...

Franklin, I'm horribly disturbed by your answers to those two people.

Outlining the reasons why would most likely only get me flamed by the cheerleading squad. I would like to say that I'm not in sympathy with either J or L and that I think L's tone was way out of line. In my religious and rather republican family, I have been the artist, the black sheep, and the liberal crusader. Once upon a time I would have written a comment just like all the others here.

I have loved your blog and your artwork. It was often the brightest spot in my day. I thought the medal was brilliant. Until today, it was fairly safe to say I was crushing on you just a bit. I don't know if I can be comfortable here now. What would a dignified, balanced, and courteous response have cost you?

Helen said...

Franklin, as a non-knitting Panopticon fan I think the responses are hilarious--they made my day. And I'd forgotten the visiting card rules, so very helpful as well.
Keep at it!

Anonymous said...

I went to college and lived in Missouri for a time; we had a pretty common joke at the time:

Q. Why do all the trees in Missouri lean west?
A. 'Cause Kansas sucks.

Marg B said...

Fraklin, I'm so glad you weren't rendered as speechless by those emails as I was! I'm like 99 percent of your readers who read the first email, wondered why I hadn't noticed the guy was naked, looked long and hard again at the medal and still couldn't work out what the fuck the first reader was on about. There wasn't even a butt-cheek on display, let alone a full-frontal shot.

Debbie said...

Whoa there partner! There was a naked guy (gasp) on the medal?

How'd I miss that? Your commentor could knit him a willy warmer! ;)

Norma said...

OH.GOOD.LORD.

But of course we know that the entire email about the rice cooking and sticking to the pan and burning -- it's all coded. What one should read between the lines is "I often come to the door NAKED and have steamy sex with the person who has come to the door......"

My word verification is: fknutcase. I'm not kidding. Did you program it that way???? ;-)

IDonneForgot said...

Oh good Lord, indeed. I'm a bit naive and didn't realize the real message in the burned rice response. Thank goodness Norma was there to clarify.

Let's see . . . it takes about seven hours to get to where you live from where I live. Put some rice on, and expect a knock at your door around 3 this afternoon.

Debbi said...

Okay, here's what I don't get. The first commenter wrote:

"I wish you had thought of how other people live when you made a medal that is supposed to be for everybody."

Is she implying that you live differently from 'everybody?'

She's the one who's living differently, and I hope her children grow up and rebel vigorously!

Knitter Knovice said...

Oh, I'm disturbed, DISTURBED, I tell you!! Ha ha. The comment a few back is a joke, right? Oh, well. It takes all kinds. I'm not a knitter, but what a fun group of people! I may just have to look into taking up a new hobby.

Helen said...

Um... if we look closely ... he's not naked! There appears to be some sort of draped fabric there.

I'm just sayin'

hmph.
And what do you do when there IS no verification image???

Diane said...

We should be grateful to J and L; after all, they have provided many opportunities for our amusement this morning.

I'm also quite sure that DH would take (pretend to have) more interest in my knitting if I were to knit naked (knaked, even funnier, thanks Patrice).

By the way, my medal is printed and proudly displayed on my board at work.

Carol said...

To Marie --
I find myself baffled by your comment. I do wish you had the courage to explain yourself further so that I might try to understand where you are coming from. I don't understand why Franklin should feel under any obligation to respond otherwise to insulting and profanity-laden emails.

And if you don't feel "comfortable" here -- does all this talk of burned rice and calling cards offend you? because Franklin is a man of great class and refinement and above all else, good manners -- well, there is a simple solution to that.

Forgive me, Franklin, if I've stepped over the line.

TrickyTricot said...

That's a Man on there? I thought for sure it was a really butch woman (did you see that Alice from the Brady Bunch Hairdo?)...

Comments like this freak me out hardcore. But I think your responses were, well, better than I could have done.

Valerie said...

Franklin, you are the most delightfully good-mannered person I have ever met. I think commentor Marie has forgotten that "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Deborah C said...

Franklin,

You are BRILLIANT. These two really need to find (a) a job (b) a new hobby and/or(c) a life. What kind of fuckwits are they???? I loved the medal. Some people will search to find something to complain about...

Marilyn said...

I suggest that all bloggers who read Franklin's blog put up a big picture of Michelangelo's David immediately.

Dicks and sticks. The best.

By the way, do you have any advice for taking stains out of my white gloves? I spilt tea on them the other day while checking the angle of my pinkie.

Anonymous said...

Well, Franklin, you seem to be a multi-purpose offender, covering the spectrum from uptight church-going Baptist types to semi-deranged femi-Nazis (not dissin' on the movement, just this one crazy broad). Bravo! --Leigh in ATL

Ann said...

Snorting--yes, that is what I am doing after reading the blog about the medals.

I always encourage the viewing of naked men on my blog!

:o)

Ann

Sean said...

You're too, too fabulous for words. How wonderful. Don't you just love people?

These are the same people who complain about "profanity" on tv, forgetting that they have the power to NOT watch as well. Same thing, these people have the power to not read.

Now about your putting pornography on your site. It really is reprehensible. All artwork showing the naked form should be covered, including but not limited to, Michaelangelo's David and the Sistine Chapel. How discraceful that the Vatican chooses to show pictures of the naked body. Can't they take a page from J in Kansas' morality? Just think...now they can't even go to Rome!

Anne said...

Your medal is actually a lot better than the ones they gave out in Turin. Having a large hole in the middle does not a classy medal make, in my humble opinion.

Sean said...

Wait, Wait...I have a similar story. One of our clients who will remain nameless until I don't work here anymore, complained about the use of cavemen in one of our concepts because it would offend people. How, we wondered. Apparently even the suggestion that evolution happens is one of those ingition points that causes boycotts. How unbelievable huh?

Elisabeth said...

Clearly, I have read this post too early in the morning. At first, I was checking the response to the original email trying to figure out when the person talked about dirty pots. Then, I thought, oh, of course, there _is_ no connection, how amusing. Then, I find out from Norma that there are secret messages encoded in your responses. Boy, I really need to finish my tea.

Are we sure the first person is a woman, and not a Vatican official? I'm wondering because all the statues in the Vatican museum have had fig leaves added to them to keep the priests from getting ideas.

(okay, take it easy people, it was a joke!)

S.Kate said...

Well...how come no one is complaining about naked sheep dancing around your site? ;-)

A birthday suit is a birthday suit...

Carol said...

Hey, Sean, was that client Geico?

diane said...

I'd love a knit knaked t-shirt!

Jon said...

Sorry to be a latecomer here and I'm not about to read through 121 comments (sheesh!!!--you're in the big time now, Mr. Man), but where is this person naked?

I didn't see anything other than a bare chest and a ball of yarn. Who cares if the figure is male or female? People need to get over themselves. As if you got paid for creating the freaking medal!

Perhaps this J person from Kansas should think about how the rest of us non-Christians live when she or he make decisions about morality and such and decide that Christianity is the way this country is supposed to go (even though we are allegedly devoid of religion in the foundations of our government).

Liz said...

Sorry, joining the discussion late.

I thought the absurdity of the response completely fitting. LOL!!!! Cudos!

I really wish I had done the Olympics. I would love to display the medal! Thanks for making it.

A Dickens-reading Cowboy said...

As someone who has counted Franklin as a friend since the days before "blog" was a word, I'm definitely a member of his "cheerleading squad." In real life he's as kind and charming and witty as he is in his blog. He's also very patient and forgiving. It really chaps my hide that someone would even he's anything other than "dignified,courteous, and balanced." If I had been in his position, I would have linked the writers' email addresses and blogs so that my readers could respond to them directly. And I would have had some choice words for them. Instead, he kept their identies anonymous and responded with charm and humor. If more of us were like Franklin the world would be a better place, indeed.

boobookittyfug said...

Marilyn said...

I suggest that all bloggers who read Franklin's blog put up a big picture of Michelangelo's David immediately.

I want to -- badly -- but are we worried about copyright here?

dhi said...

Je taime.

Typesetter said...

Knitting naked is not really something I want to do again. Metal straight needles can be cold. Ok, maybe socks. Now that I think of it; I have knitted socks in my bathtub...

Juls said...

F - have enjoyed lurking on your blog for ages, now feel moved to make a response. Thank you for the etiquette tips. I hope that "J" and "L" thanked you too for taking the time to give them a response so cordial, despite the total attack on your artistic contribution to the knitting olympics! The medal is heroic and properly Olympian. Very inspiring of nudity too, makes us all want to knit in the buff!

Cara said...

Clearly these people NEED to see a naked guy (or girl - a naked something?) once in a while....

I like the medal. Am displaying it proudly on my blog. Thank you very much.

Nancy said...

I love the medal and totally didn't even register the nudity. Frankly I would have made it more obvious, so as to be more enjoyable.

My husband said to tell that chick to make sure here kids don't come to NYU. We have 3 naked guys running on our seal.

Patti said...

Your post was yet another way of saying "I know you only meant that in the nicest way." Congratulations on handling the hate mail far more grace than most of us would have summoned.

The medal is absolutely outstanding and appropriate, thank you for providing it. I will proudly post one on my blog, and in my studio, even though my socks were finished shortly after the flame was extinguished. Waiting for the T-shirt!

Sandy said...

Hi! First, I'm both a devout Cathoic and probably onsidered pretty conservative. I didn't notice it was naked, and never even thought about it being a man. I am slightly insterested why these 2 noticed and why they became to so enraged about a free medal that was simply meant for fun??? Oh, i am also from Kansas. I love the medal! Those 2 were nuts!

Pat said...

Franklin.....I think I love you and I adore the multiple Franklin lovers who leave such wonderful and hilarious responses to your wonderful and hilarious blogs. Please keep it up. We all love you!

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Anonymous said...

1. the figure is naked ? hell I thought it was in profile, she must have looked at it real hard to work out it was naked

2. A lot of women like looking at men, even if they were naked...most women are not stupid and can work out that the olympics were in theory created by the ancient greeks

(I'm a brit, we claim the olympics were created in shropshire...)