Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Chains of Sleevery

I am trying to come to terms with the sorry fact that I will never, ever finish the first sleeve of the Rhinebeck sweater.

Not because I am out of yarn, or because I suddenly hate knitting, or because my right hand simply fell off and disappeared through a crack in the floor.

It's just that no matter how much I knit, the damned thing refuses to get any longer.

The sleeve will be "finished" (ready to join to the body) at 18 inches. After working on it yesterday morning on the train, it was 16 inches. I gave it about two hours last night, then an hour this morning on the train, and it's still 16 inches.

You want pictures? I got pictures.

This is what it looks like to a normal person:



And here's what it looks like to me:



I think it may be time to take a break and go knit a little lace.

21 comments:

Nik said...

I think the Yarn Harlot wrote an entry once about how some knitting, no matter how many rows you add, NEVER seems to grow.

I'm working on a sweater project now that's looking like the second monster sleeve to me. I can't wait to get this thing done.

Marilyn said...

This is a condition known as "sleeve flaunting." A similar syndrome can also be found in socks, where it is known by its Latin name, "instepus aeternalis," the neverending foot.

The cure? Pay no attention to the condition. Turn on the TV/DVD/VCR and watch something engrossing. When you are tired of watching, measure the sleeve. I guarantee you it will then be 2 inches too long.

Kathy Merrick said...

Hah. Superbe. The best, most talented, cleverest knitter I know has sworn that she's knitted for hours on a sleeve, only to have it be shorter than when she started.
Maybe you've grown?

birdfarm said...

Thanks for the LOL--the original post, and also the comments. Instepus aeternalis--perfect.

Jon said...

Leave it to a gay man to complain about 2 inches...LOL

How are you measuring? If you lift it up, as if it were hanging off your precious body it will measure differently than if you lay it flat on a table or floor.

What is the length supposed to include? Sleeve cap or to underarm? If it's underarm, that seems awfully long for you....

My suggestion? Measure a sleeve of a shirt that you wear or a sweater you love. If your measurement doesn't include the sleeve cap, you are only going to go to the underarm. As a result, you may be too long, punkin.

Damn size queens. LOL

Joanne said...

Too funny! Thanks for the picture of the demon sleeve. That'll keep me laughing all day!

JoVE said...

Or measure it like you measured the body. Take if off the needles and try it on. It should come to your underarm (where you will join it to the body and knit the top all together, I assume).

If you go with Jon's (excellent) suggestion, dispense wih the measuring tape and just lay it on top of the shirtsleeve and see how it compares for length.

Franklin said...

There is nothing like the comfort of other knitters in a situation like this. Kisses to you all.

I've mostly been measuring by trying it on. It needs to be knitted to two inches shy of my underarm, and I'm about four inches short of goal right now.

You're right, Nik, I had forgotten Yarn Harlot's theory of Knitting Black Holes, a phenomenon closely akin to "sleeve flaunting." I think the remedy is the same in both cases..

goblinbox said...

LOL!

Lee Ann said...

Jon owes me a new keyboard. :-)

And today's "way to comment on Franklin's blog via nonsensical green letters" is:

pewohblp. What one might say upon being the 91st person to enter the Portalette at Lollapalooza,if one were being filmed for (and thus censored by) the Family Channel.

Eldronius said...

I can barely type through the tears of laughter. This makes me afraid to try a sweater, because you still have another sleeve to do!

Aarlene said...

You WILL conquer this!

dragon knitter said...

oh i loved that! that was a well needed laugh! (i have a tween boy and a newly teen boy, sigh). i know how you feel! i made a sweater for my fiance, and the damned thing wouldn't grow and wouldn't grow, and then all of a sudden i had too much and had to frog! eek!

Faustus, MD said...

You're a very, very funny man.

Linda said...

Ack, I know that feeling. Its bad enough that my arms are longer than most human being's arms should be, but to knit and knit and knit and it never grows. Its a conspiracy.

Sean said...

I love the responses you're getting.

It probably has something to do with the sleeve is getting wider as it gets longser so, exponentially, it takes longer, the longer you know!

Good luck

Anonymous said...

About the tiny-wrist-cuff-thing, maybe la Zimmermann just liked her sweaters really roomy (round the torso)? It's the same for me, and I've got ridiculous tiny hands. Oh, now that I think of it my chest measurement isn't exactly awe-inspiring either.

Anonymous said...

Didn't mean to be a nonnie.
/Monika

Colleen said...

Ummm, 3/4 sleeves are "in," you know.

john said...

Ok, man. THE funniest thing I've ever seen to date. Thanks for making me laugh.

Cece said...

Ok. I just found your blog, and the demon sleeve picture just almost got me in trouble on a conf call with the 'big wigs' - I was laughing out loud before I checked to see if I was on mute.

I'm saving that picture to cheer me up when I'm working on some god forsaken sleeves. I have 'gorilla arms' (description the my MOTHER gave them) so sleeves are rather painful for me.