Friday, July 11, 2008

And Away We Go

Never fails. I get the apartment back in order and something happens to mess it up again. But at least this is a happy mess. Suitcases. Many suitcases. Tomorrow, we're away to our summer vacation.

"Don't you dare tell where we're going," said Dolores as I sat down to type. She was at the table eating breakfast while Harry mulled over the packing list.

"And why not?" I asked.

"Because mama needs an absolute rest," she sighed, running a hoof through the tangled fleece falling down over one eye.

Domestic Scene

"You just slept for fourteen hours," I said. "How tired can you possibly be?"

"Does it still count as sleeping if it starts as passing out?" said Harry.

"The point," huffed Dolores through a spoonful of Hay-Os, "is that the giddy whirl of my life requires periodic absences from the public eye. I gotta recharge. I need peace. I need solitude. I don't want to get there and find a bunch of smart-ass photographers waiting to catch me off guard. Remember what happened last time I went to Montreal to see Victorine? We were barely past baggage claim when they swarmed the car."

"That was because Victorine ran over a porter," I said. "Twice."

"It doesn't matter why they were there," she insisted. "The point is that they were there, right up in my face, snapping and flashing and asking impertinent questions. What's your name, madame? Why are you here? Did you not hear him scream the second time? Feh."

"I asked one of the policemen if I could get some copies of his photos for my scrapbook," said Harry. "But he never sent me any. I don't think his English was too good. So I just bought some postcards instead."

"Have you finished the packing yet?" said Dolores.

"No," said Harry.

"Then how is it that you have time to sit here and run your mouth?"

"I've got some questions about your list," said Harry. "I found all fourteen bathing suits, but I don't know what this is." He pointed to an item halfway down, surrounded by asterisks.

"Oh," said Dolores. "That's in the back of my bottom drawer. It's pink. Do me a favor, precious, and put it in your carry-on instead of mine, okay? Mine's a bit heavy. And throw in some extra batteries."

"Righty-o," chirped Harry.

"Don't give me that look," said Dolores as Harry rolled away. "Where we're going that's all the action I'm gonna get."

"I thought you needed absolute rest," I said. "And to be left alone."

"There's alone," said Dolores, "and there's alone. I don't mind being Lorelei on a rock as long as I can entertain the occasional sailor."

"The Lorelei used to entertain sailors so much that she killed them," I reminded her.

"I know," sighed Dolores. "Now that's technique."

While We're Away

I need a little vacation as much as Dolores, and while we're gone this blog will be quiet unless you'd care to chat amongst yourselves. However, if you'd like to hear me, please listen in on the next episode of the Knitmore Girls Podcast, which should pop up early next week. I had merry time with Jasmin and Gigi, mother and daughter 'casters.

We'll be back in a week or so, and will miss you terribly. If you wouldn't mind watering the violets, airing the sock yarn and taking in the newspaper I'd be much obliged and will bring you back a little something.


Anonymous said...

Enjoy your vacation!

Tsarina of Tsocks said...

Um, Franklin... you trust US to air the sock yarn? Yeah, sure, buddy - if by "air" you mean "make off with it and knit it up." Sure. Happy to oblige. Have a great trip, and don't you worry about a thing - you'll find the sock yarn nicely aired when you get back.

Anonymous said...

Franklin, honey, I think you've been listening in on my friend Necia's conversation and unknowingly portraying her through Dolores! (

Have a good time!

Anonymous said...

You'll be missed. I hope you have a good time. Tell Harry to avoid anything that looks wet (wouldn't want him to felt). And by all means, RELAX.

Anonymous said...

Have a GREAT time!

Debbie D said...

Enjoy yourself Franklin.

Mel said...

Have fun. Just don't stay gone too long.

Melissa said...

Hey! Mine is pink, too!

Small world, huh?

Liz said...

Have a great and well-deserved vacation...

Anonymous said...

I apologize for chasing you down on the street last night; you were incredibly nice to an overly excited fan. Thanks for being so incredibly awesome, and have a great vacation!

dale-harriet said...

OK, Franklin - yeah, I do hope you have a 100% delightful vacation; if anyone needs it I'm guessing you do. (How restful IS it, really, if you take Dolores?) Now - one thing to remember; She IS a presidential candidate. She refuses bodyguards from Wisconsin (well, ok, so a 4'11" 65-year-old woman might not be exactly Mr T, but you know, we're working with a budget here). Please tell her that, at her level of celebrity, they might find her anyway - PUHLEEZE don't do anything that will jeopardize the campaign (that can't be explained away in her usual eloquent fashion). Harry, keep an eye on the both of them, and yes, above all, stay outta the pool!!

Anonymous said...

OOOO....and guess to gets to go with Dolores and Harry and Franklin !!!


Ooops, guess you know now!

Cat said...

Oh, have a wonderful vacation, and Delores, love, please, I agree with Dale-Harriet, be a good girl, don't give the press anything... INTERESTING to print!

Hope you have a great time.


Anonymous said...

Have a lovely time! Hope you manage to keep Dolores out of jail... We'll all miss you!

Kristen said...

Have a fabulous time! We'll miss you.

Anonymous said...

have a good trip.

make sure you take along enough money to bail dolores out of jail.

and make sure harry has books to read. perhaps he could keep a trip diary...


danielle said...

I'll be glad to air the sock yarn...uh huh...toobad I would have to bring it home with me to really air it! And trust me, you dont want me messing with your plants...not with my black (as opposed to green) thumb! Have a good - safe - restful trip!

Anonymous said...

Dear Franklin - Have a great vacation. Put Delores in her own area (with "Sailors Beware" warnings) and relax with Harry over mutual discussions of Proust. (Or whatever classic author you happen to be reading.) And if Tom (oops- Anonymous) is along, I hope you both have a most relaxing time. Will miss you while you're gone. Take care - Joe, in Wyoming

Sharon Rose said...

Ah, nothing like a bit of travel to reset the soul. Enjoy the local chocolate and the local sweet things (D will know what I mean) and come back deliriously refreshed!

Shell said...

Oh Franklin, trusting me with sock yarn is dangerous!
But Just enjoy your vacation - we all promise to share the burden of caring for the sock yarn equally!

georg said...

You are always welcome to send the sock yarn on a vacation... lol. It may come back looking a little different though.

Anonymous said...

Will you be travelling to promote your book this fall? If so, do you have anything booked in the Denver area? Joanne

Email me if you'd like to discuss this:

I work in this yarn store:

Ali P said...

Now I have Ella Fitzgerald singing "Lorelei" in my head. I love that sing!!!!!!!!!
"I wanna be just like that other trollop....."

Kate said...

Have a wonderful break, you've certainly earned it with everything you've done some far this year. Wondering if the spinning wheel will go with you coz that's a lot of yarn to spin. Mind you, I can't see spinning and sand going together...

Anonymous said...

Did you say violets??? Franklin, do you keep African Violets? My husbands father hybridized over 100 varieties of new violets over his lifetime. My inlaws idea of a good time was a trip to the African Violet Society of America convention. A passion is a passion in whatever form it takes!

Nita said...

I hope your time off is serving you well. Just heard you with fellow "minions" Jasmin and Gigi. Great cast. I'm a relatively new lurker, and thoroughly enjoy reading about yourself, Harry and Dolores. Best and get back safely...

Anonymous said...

Okay! It is Monday. Now you can come home. We miss you and recognize it so please come back.

Chicago Usher said...

Oh, dear. . . I thought leaving my knitting bud in Silicon Valley would divorce me from the seduction of all those colors and textures. . . perhaps moving to Chitown put a little dent in that, do ya think?

Since I'm such a newbie I can't tell who's the star of this show.
Uh-oh ! ! !
The dreaded Yarn Police are alREADY knocking at my door!
OMG, Delores, how did you DO that???
Ok, I can tell a diva a mile away, and you're DEFINITELY IT.

PS/Chitown YP are definitely, ahem, amenable... and I'll be sure to get that opera casting list to your people asap, dahling. Just go ahead and pencil in Opening Night, Sept. 27. You KNOW I understand you're waaaaaay better than that what'shername they've got signed.

Ciao, Bellisima Diva!
Have a lovely time and rest that voice!

Anonymous said...

I hope you and "anonymous" and the gang have a peaceful (and maybe fleeceful) joyful and restorative time!
Margie in Maryland

Anne O'Nymous said...

(hysterical peals of laughter)
Thanks to you, Franklin, and Alip, I now have an image of Dolores sitting on a rock singing Cole Porter's "Lorelei" a la Ella, and whining at you to knit her a red shawl (the "Dolorelei"): the sluttiest lace shawl in existence. When the come hither look and bourbon don't do it, the Dolorelei can be used as a net and a restraint.

Ali P said...

SOMEONE design that shawl STAT!!! "Dolorelei"...I love it!!!!!!
I have the picture now Anne...she's reclining ever so languidly with a hind hoof dabbling in the water instead of a fish tail..
"I wanna beeee like that gaaaal on the river...who sang her sooongs at the ships passing byyyy...she had the goods and how she could deliveerr... Dolorelei!!!.."
That song will never be the same for me again.

JanKnitz said...

Dear Franklin,

I stopped by (virtually) and watered the (virtual) violets. Now they are (virtually) dead.

Sorry :o(

Guess I forgot to tell you about my black thumb.

Hope you have a great time, anyway!

Patti said...

Enjoy your rest, and can't wait to hear all about it when you back... I'm hoping you're someplace wonderful and relaxing.

Anonymous said...

Oh wow! I've just found you and you are leaving me.
I won't take it personally.'

Looking forward to so much more of your blog and the little book.


Okay!! it's been like 4 days, geesh how long are you going to be gone! Your public awaits... anyway who did you ask permission to go away anyway. LOL... Have lots of fun WE MISS YOU, really I miss Delores, your just an added bonus, MAWHHHAAA!!! that will teach you to leave ;0P

muoriska said...

Dear Dolores.
I just have to write a note to you and ask some questions.
Lately this summer I have been driving my bicyckle and as I have been listenin on my mp3 and songs from my youth, some how you come to my mind everytime I hear song Electric by Pet shop boys. Although they sing about Disco -Tex it could be easily replaced with your name. So have you been the inspiration to this song? I think they have met you in San Francisco. I just can visualice you in my mind, on stage.
Are you having an European tourné some day? In near future perhaps. I hope truly that you skip Gothenburg and Stockholm. Do have a show here in Finnish Lapland. We have a great holiday resort with lots of celebrities. ( famous people who what to stay incongnito, you see, and we know, mom's the word)
I hope you are having an enjoyable holiday !

Yours ,

Anonymous said...

"Does it still count as sleeping if it starts as passing out?" is my new favorite Harry line.

Hope you are having a delightful vacation, Franklin. Don't worry, I've been stopping by to air the violets, water the newspaper, and take in the sock yarn.

One more trip tomorrow with my big suitcase and I should have all the sock yarn taken care of. You place will look so tidy and spacious again by the time you get home.

You're welcome,

Captain of Team Cellular Peptide Cake

goblinbox said...

Goodness, the amount of chatter you have to endure at the breakfast table!

Anonymous said...

has it been a week or so yet????

Lynn said...

July 20th: You back yet? Things are too quiet around here.