On either side of me in line were standard-issue uppity fancy foo-foo special people. Guys in suits. Guys in golf clothes. Women in suits. Women in resort clothes. One woman took the stereotype to the limit and was pulling the bag containing her microscopic dog in one hand, and her plaid-clad golf-shirted husband in the other.
And there was...me. I am neither uppity, nor fancy, nor foo-foo. I don't even qualify as foo. And I'm wearing the kind of stuff I always wear–leather jacket, engineer boots, jeans. Come to think of it, I looked like this:
The nice people at Skacel made that photograph, as one of a series of magazine ads promoting their Addi Lace needles, which I do in fact happen to adore. (My mother called in a froth from the magazine aisle at the supermarket when she opened Vogue Knitting and found this version of me staring up at her.)
To say I struck an anomalous note in my surroundings is to understate the case. But nobody seemed to notice. Even in uppity fancy foo-foo special security, the passengers are generally too concerned with hanging onto a shred of dignity while disrobing and emptying their bags to care who else is wearing what.
But then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was a woman, of emphatically indeterminate age, without dog or husband but still very much in the second-home-in-Palm-Springs mode.
"Excuse me," she said, not unkindly, "but I just have to guess...you're a musician, right?"
I laughed. "No," I said. "I'm a knitter."
She looked confused for a split second, then she frowned–and snapped, "Jesus Christ, I was only asking. There's no need to get sarcastic."
Next time I'm just going to say why yes, I am in fact Willie Nelson.
Whilst in Seattle
I'm only here in Seattle for a couple of hours, then I'm heading north for a sort of knitting conclave on what I understand to be a very pretty island with lots of trees and water and absolutely no cell phone reception.
After that, it's back to Seattle, where the good folks at Renaissance Yarns are hosting me (on Sunday, March 28) for a day of lace knitting classes. In the morning, we'll have "Introduction to the History, Methods and Styles of Lace Knitting;" and in the afternoon, "Lace Edgings: Before, During and After."
If you're interested, as of this writing there are still a few spaces left. You can call the shop at (253) 852-YARN or (877) 852-YARN, or write to info@renaissanceyarns.com for more information.
94 comments:
Poor Franklin, you just don't fit the old knitting lady stereotype. Personally this old lady thinks yer photo for the ad is hot as ell. Not that you would care about what a fat old lady thinks( not many do) but thought I'd tell you anyway the ad looks really good.
Keeep up the good work Franklin yer the best.
That is hilarious! If you had said something really obscure and freaky, like contortionist, she would have believed you!
It would almost be worth having your needles examined right in front of her in the line.
Between this and the "Think of the children!" wacky minister, I think you have a decent sitcom pitch. (Hmmm, who would play you?)
uhm, have i lost my mind even more than usual ? i'm looking closly at your fabulous foto and NOT seeing knitting needles ?
marie in florida
i'm a knitter
Great story!
May I make a suggestion? Instead of saying you are Willie Nelson, say you are the lead singer/songwriter/whatever is your fancy of the Addi Turbos? That way, when nosy old lady is proudly boasting to her teenage grandchildren that she met/talked/got autograph from one of the band members, said grandchildren would roll their eyes.
HAHAHAHA!! You crack me up. You'd probably think I look like one of those second home foo foo women, but I am assuredly in your court. You slay me.
You should carry a laminated copy of that photo as proof that you really ARE a knitter, and you're not just being snide.
I have a friend who doesn't look TERRIBLY different from you (except he's got hair on his head), and every time we go to a certain restaurant in Pittsburg, we get pulled out of the entrance line and seated immediately because the person in charge there is convinced that my friend is a rock musician!
We haven't figured out which one, but the service is excellent!
Carry a copy of Vogue Knitting with you for such occasions, I say, so you can snap it open to that photo. (No way you looked that yummy on line at the airport, by the way; nobody does. Everybody looks frazzled or desperate.)
Bother! I thought the punchline was going to be that she recognized you from the picture in Vogue!
LOL Her own worst enemy! That conversation was all in her head.
The thing is, you ARE in the so-called uppity fancy foo-foo security line, so you need a different name for it. You got there legitimately, so the line needs a name that includes you.
I doubt the others have an ad all to themselves, Addi or otherwise. And I'm guessing they do not qualify as hot, either, since that is also under discussion. "Knitters" clearly won't do. I guess I'm back to "Frequent Fliers."
Yay for the photo! It's so ... clean there. But naturally.
Had it been me the lady accused of being a musician, I would have attempted to explain. In which case she probably would have called security to have the crazy knitter carted away.
Welome to the Pacific Northwest! Wish I could get up to Seattle next week for lace knitting!
All this time you should've been bumped up to First Class Franklin! Start carrying your yarn in a guitar case! I say if any of us fans see you we promise to chase you while squealing and swooning and begging for autographs! Rock On Franklin!!
PS. I love that pic of you! Always makes me smile.
Yup, Willie Nelson. . Separated at birth. Obviously.
(Oh dear; you do seem to be having a bit of time of it at airports recently!)
Still, I hope that gives you the dual options of the next world tour or a reprise of your performance as Uncle Jesse in Dukes of Hazzard II.
It must be so satisfying to know that when people are rude to you about knitting, you immediately get to blog about it to your adoring fans, who are well equipped to pour heaps of scorn on the ignorant uppity foo foo lady. This one is almost as good as "did you learn to knit in prison."
Very funny. It's a shame you didn't have a chance to pull out any of your beautiful work to prove it to her. I'm sure the look on her face then would have been priceless! Have a good trip. The class sounds great.
Sweetie, while you may not dress the part, we all know about your bust of Victoria Emperatrix. That alone is sufficient to qualify you for foo, at a bare minimum. Add in the lace, and well....
Hi Franklin:
Would of been so cool if your Mother had phoned and you had her on speaker phone and that uppity woman would of had a reason to say Jesus Christ....You know you are a knitting super star...Have fun on your Italy Trip... Gail Lucille.
Well, I have to 3rd or 4th the HOT comment. You realize of course that I now need to drive the 350 km to Edmonton so I can buy that Vogue since you and Carol are both in it?
I also have to second the "lead singer of the Addi Turbos". Love that. Though it could be the "FooFoo Addi Turbos?" Or you could just tell the truth. Draw yourself up to your full height, look down your nose and say "I, Madam, am not just a knitter, but also an icon of the lace world and a super model". Sniff and turn away.
I think you can do much better than Willie Nelson. You could say that you are a model or photographer, because it is true enough and accessible.
Though admittedly it is pretty fun to see the reaction to you being a knitter.
You totally need to add "I'm a model" to your answers. I loved the advertisement photo! I love a bald man (I married one). Too bad he won't let me teach him to knit. I think it would help him relax. You post about Chicago (My grandparents have lived in Evanston for many, many years). So when I get a little homesick I re-read old blog posts about NU and Chicago and it makes me feel better. My wish is one day I meet you at a yarn convention and act like the yarn geek I am and ask for your autograph. I think you are awesome!
I love your airport stories! : )
Dear Franklin,
Imagine my surprise - you're on the west coast?!?
Wouldn't you like to make a side trip to San Diego??? The Music Librarians are gathering again - at the Paradise Point Resort and Spa, and we're having another "knit meet-up" on Tuesday evening...
:-)
Fondly,
Lisa (aka LisaRae)
p.s.
Wish I could stick around for your lace classes!!!
No one will ever believe that you are Willie Nelson. He has more hair on his head than you have.
Enjoy the island. I long to go out there.
Front man for the Addi Turbos? Oh yeah! Rock on!
Have fun @ Lakedale. There is cell reception in town, so if you are desperate, calls can be made. And there's always Skype. Give Mona an apple and she'll be your friend!
Yarn in a guitar case - I LOVE it!
'lace edgings - before, during and after'?! See, I always think of Gerard Depardieu in Le Retour de Martin Guerre when I hear that phrase (ie 'knows how to please a woman BD&A).... are we talking multi-tasking here?
You can tell the next person that you are a model. Cuz you are!
I keep hoping I'll see one of the famous knitting people in an airport.
I'd walk up to the harlot and ask what kind of coffee I could buy for her. If that seat next to Franklin were still available I'd grab it and
start some knitting talk.
Another fan.
I love your airport stories! Stay exactly as you are...you wouldn't want to miss this! And the Addi ad is hot...best knitting ad I've ever seen.
Honest to Jebus, Franklin, I'm damn near crying here. Did you just look at here blank-faced, or did she flounce off after she told you not to get sarcastic? This was hysterical. Remind me that I owe you a cocktail in June, just for this post alone. :D
I laughed out loud and made my youngest jump at the woman's comment. Then I made my husband read it too. He actually looks a lot like you! Though he's only knit one dishcloth.
OMG - you crack me up. Maybe you could comment "My readers are gonna love this story!" People are so strange sometimes. It seems they all subscribe to the "it's all about me" theory. Thanks for having a sense of humor and sharing.
BTW - love the Turbo ad. Great shot!
I was reading the story and I tought she had recognized you! I love that picture :)
If Dolores had been along, you could have told the woman you're a shepherd.
Then again, if Dolores had been along, foo-foo woman might not have dared to get anywhere near you!
I was thinking "photographer" but "Lead singer for the Addi Turbos" even beats "model" as a response. It just occurred to me that "teacher" would work, too, and then I had an image of you at the head of a Home Ec class, and all conscious thought stopped for a moment.
I think I see a lace needle tip in that picture, extending upward from the forefinger of Franklin's left hand.
You meet such strange people in airports. I guess they think we are strange, too, thinking about it.
You have the best travel stories. And that is an evil photo. Careful someone doesn't send an exorcist round. :)
That woman is obviously no knitter. But she was right-- you DO look like a rock star!
Dear Franklin,
I like to hope that we would be more polite in Britain, but it probably isn't true. You should Google my friend Anna Crowe's poem 'Punk with Dulcimer'.
You crack me up! I'm not sure how you find these people in airports, but I'm awfully glad you share the stories with us!
Also, I hadn't seen the Addi ad, yet, but I now have to agree with everyone else who says it's hot.
Poor muggle! What a pity she took it that way.
(Still, I think it's a step up from "Did you learn to knit in prison?")
P.S.: I keep reading Mlle. R. deB. as "Miller, Deb".
That is a fantastic representation of EXACTLY the people one meets in the fancy foo-foo lounge. I always feel like a complete outsider. Whenever I can, I bring a guest (aka, someone else who isn't wearing a golf shirt) into the lounge (Air Canada, in my case) to eat and drink themselves silly. I'm trying to break the golf-shirt aristocracy from within.
Ha ha, you are so funny, Franklin! Wish I was going to be in Seattle or on that lovely island with you. ;) I just saw your Skacel advert in my Knitter's magazine. And you're in Vogue, too?? Keep it up.
Obviously your Presence is overwhelming, non-yarnies can only attribute it to melt-down-in-the-making rock star status! I have to say yours is my *favorite* of the Addi ad series. The look on your face reminds me of those Mesmirism posters for carnival mentalists! I bet if you tried you could use the power of your mind to compel the pants off men and women alike.
Just sayin'.
You should've just been honest and told her you play Pizarro on the telenovela El Zorro.
Pizarro - http://www.alma-latina.net/01actors/h/hector_suarez_gomis.shtml
Scenes from El Zorro with Pizarro on YouTube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRaoenWBiMQ
Franklin, you could have said that you were personally acquainted with those well known troubadors, Eddie Grundy and Wayne Tuscon.
I LOVE this Addi add. It doesn't get much sexier than a man with a leather jacket, and yarn.
Unless it's a man with a leather jacket, yarn, and a mala--there's a zen center on Whidbey Island, you know: http://onedropzendo.org/tahoma.php
But that might make the foo foo airport lady faint and fall down on somebody's purse dog, and we wouldn't want that.
You need a set of Signature dpn stilettos to go with your leather, dude, inserted in a pocket on one sleeve. Otherwise you're just another second string bassist for Korn.
foo foo's don't deal with reality very often-- mind you don't upset their psyche. What was she going to do if you had been a musician? Say "I told you so?"
"emphatically indeterminate age" is my new favorite description!
(Longtime formerly-Hoosier [Anderson/Pendleton] follower; first-time commenter)
I love the stories of your encounters with the un-knitty folks. They have a picture in their minds who knitters are. My husband knits. He is also an aircraft mechanic, pilot, rides a Harley, has tatoos, trains and rides horses, and helps with the neighbor's cattle. And he often wears a kilt with pockets large enough to carry a sock or glove project. He's also a spinner. he taught himself to spin yarn and then taught me. So I taught him to knit and now I can't get him back at the spinning wheel. Knitting is so much more portable.
You just never know who know what, do you?
Wow, your ad is really getting around. I saw it in Interweave, and positively squee'd at it -- you look so fantastic! I agree you should always carry a copy of a magazine with that photo in it to show the doubters. Unless you follow the advice of the more witty people here who suggest you become the front man for the Addi Turbos. (But only as long as you get that expression on your face that Delores talks about.)
I think a book of "A Knitter's Adventures at the Airport" cartoons would fly to the top of the bestseller list in no time at all!
I saw that super HOT picture in a magazine the other day and I was so proud that I had actually met you - Long, long ago, think Dulaan knit-in. I almost showed my husband, but he wouldn't have "gotten" it either. Keep bein' who you be.
SNORT!!! You've provided my laugh for the day--thanks.
I *LOVE* the picture! And foo on the indeterminate old lady. If I should ever run into you at O'Hare, I'll be sure to fawn on you as if you were a rock star, to really cloud the issue... "But... it's FRANKLIN!"
Bet I could cause a riot. (I've done it before, but never for a knitting rock star :)
1st - I LOVED that photo from the first time I saw it in Interweave Knits magazine! Anyone in their right mind can tell you look like an artistic genius - not a "rock star".
2nd - Marie in Florida - Franklin's using the Addi Turbo circular needles and if you have the magazine ad photo you can clearly see them.
3rd - there was NO need for that rude woman to take the Lord's name in vain - afterall - God knits! (Psalm 139 / "you knit me together in my mother's womb - how fearfully and wonderfully I am made"
4th - Franklin - you dress way better than this "main line" upper class whatever I met last month - was wearing kelly green corduroy slacks with tiny sheltie dogs embroidered on them, loafers with no socks and a gray trench coat (didn't want to ask about the trench coat)....
truly wonderful laugh out loud story!
Speaking as a well known "bumpkin" who's been known to do the inappropriate without a thought, your travel stories beat all. And you are a handsome devil as your Addi photo clearly demonstrates. And harrumph to all the foo foo folks...what do they know about the long tail cast on?
Delurking to a) congratulate you on the great Skacel ad - I was thrilled to find *that* in the last issue of VK and b) sympathize with how hard it is to be taken seriously. Thanks for being such great company on the Web!
if I were in Seattle, I would SO be there, but alas, I'm in San Francisco. but I have recently started knitting lace edging, and I don't even know why!
I was going to comment about the ad, just got the magazine a few days ago. I was impressed with the photo. got to show it to my son, guys do knit, cool looking guys in black leather jackets can knit. i can't wait to see his reaction.
Franklin - you will always be a rock star in my book!
Oh Franklin! We're having pretty decent weather here in your honor. Hope you enjoy it. After all, Seattle, March, well. . . it's definitely not our usual. Wish I could be in your class, but I'm waaaay north in Bellingham tending my sheep. BTW, one of our new lambs is named "Dolores".
Welcome to Seattle Willie! Thanks for cracking me up. Hope you have a fabulous time in our beautiful city while the sun is still shining.
Well I think you look rockin hot in your Vogue knitting ad!
Now that photo is suited for the next knitter's pin up calendar.
Ok. Carry a copy of the photo folded into your knitting satchel - pop it out as needed and say "But M'lady, it's true!"
;)
I LOVE that photo...
(((hugs)))
May I please add my voice to the chorus singing your hubba-hubba praises in the picture?
A knitting rock star you are! Didn't you bring knitting with you onto the flight?
Dear Franklin,
When I saw your ad in the latest Interweave Knits, I thought: "Rock on wicha bad self!"
High five,
Andrea
Oooohhhh! Can I have your Knittergraph?
I'd like to be the umpteenth person to say that that is a great photo.
I'm glad you moderate comments because this is just to let you know that I'm passing on the One Lovely Blog Award. (Details: http://amperzen.com/blog/?p=629)
I've enjoyed your blog for a while and appreciate the effort and work that goes into the posts.
Thanks
Tell me you whipped out your knitting and gave her an on-spot demonstration. Please?
I hope you are having a wonderful time playing with Cat. Give her a hug!
O'Hare allows knitting needles?!...my last kntting in the airport experience was cut short (even tho I carried the TSA statement with me) by the nice security officer informing me that I could spear someone with those (somehow i refrained from the obvious retort: "or garrot them! or just use a pencil...or maybe a shoelace..."
perhaps this is why your skinny addi lace needles are cloaked in the pic?
I think you've just got a new retail opportunity - t-shirts printed with "I'm a knitter, not a musician"!
Emily
Well I work on the ticket counter for United and I've met some of the greatest knitters while working. Welcome to Seattle. We love our knitters. Sorry to say I'll be working when you're at Renassainse in my home town. Bummer.Great Pic too!
That is such a seriously hot photo! Whew! (another fat old lady checking in)
Great story Mr. Franklin! BTW The 3/28 CBS Sunday Morning segment with Mo Rocca on knitting has a few shots of you from the knitting conference! No, kidding!
What a hilarious post! The next time I fly, I'll have to remember to wear my motorcycle jacket and boots and see what type of comments/questions it generates as I sit and knit while waiting to board the plane.
You're inspiring Franklin!
Hey Franklin, me again,
I was watching Sunday Morning and there you were---up on stage helping school Mo Rocca on handknit sweaters and their itchy quotient. The rest of my family and the cats were perplexed at my yelling, "There's Franklin! there's Franklin! See him there on the right?" Alas, I had to explain that you were the artist of Dolores, then they understood.
I saw that Ad and said "Hey,Franklin is now a superstar!" Lead knitting/singer for the Addi Needle Band, huh? Seriously, you should have been knitting socks while waiting in line and then it wouldn't have sounded so much like you were being snide to the poor ole lady. I love meeting other knitters while traveling & would have had Vogue in my hand asking you for an autograph, LOL. How annoying that would be?
Hello Mr. Knitter.. :)
I`m a crocheter..
My first visitning on your blog..
Nice to see you.. :)
I realize that you might not read this late entry, but.... I LOVE the pose. Is it going to be on a t-shirt, a tote bag, a poster? I have $$$ and I really want a tote bag. But a a t-shirt would work too.
I just saw your ad in my Knit Simple magazine. I love that you look so rugged, yet you're knitting something lacy!
Damn Franklin, You are hot looking.
haha. nice situation.
knitting and music sometimes do have things in common though. i occassionally DJ and had a nice looking man coming to me after a gig, saying he enjoyed the mixture of styles and it kind of made sende together, rmeinding him of a lady knitting:) he would not believe me i was a knitter though, and i am a gal:)
So to put it mildly, I am utterly annoyed with myself STILL for missing the classes. I found out about them on the 29th - of course. And it would have made a lovely birthday present to myself.
Reading about your airport "adventure" makes me cringe but laugh at the same time - people are so strange. Out of curiosity, have you been asked again since?
thanks you
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