Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Slapped with My Own Glove

Yesterday I flipped the calendar to December and, after pausing to admire the engaging shot of a comely butterfly collector* wearing nothing but a pith helmet and a mounted specimen of Morpho eugenia, I smiled a self-satisfied smile.

Morpho eugenia

The first of December is usually the day upon which I well and truly freak out over my unfinished holiday knitting. But not this year. This year I am not freaking out over my unfinished holiday knitting, because I am not doing any holiday knitting.

Saint AnysiaIf that made you clutch your pearls with shock, cease thy clutching. I'm still knitting like mad, just not for Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, or the Feast of Saint Anysia.** There just weren't any projects that matched up with any recipients. Instead, I've got a bunch of class samples on the needles and one or two things for myself.

When the weather got too cold to ignore I pulled the bin of accessories out of the hall closet and realized I hate all my gloves. Gloves are a problem for me. That part of my brain which is supposed to keep track of my belongings is entirely stuffed with the lyrics of songs I hate,*** so I have nine individual gloves but only two matching pairs. They're all store-bought, they're all ugly, and they don't fit me.

It's hard enough being a short man when I go shopping for pants and shirts. Short men are like fat women: the mainstream clothing industry prefers to pretend that we don't exist. But over the years, I've found my way to retail sources for pants and shirts. Not gloves, though. Never in my adult life have I pulled a pair of men's size small gloves off a rack in a store. "We don't bother to stock 'em," I was once told by a snotty salesman at Filene's in Boston. "Nobody's got hands that small." Nobody but those of us who, apparently, could trade mittens with Hummel figurines.

I have had salespeople direct me to displays of women's gloves, with fancy floral stitching on the back of the hand, or pretty scalloped trim at the wrist. I have been offered children's gloves, gorgeously emblazoned with the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers or Dora the Explorer. None of these harmonize with Chippewa motorcycle boots.

I have bought the one-size-fits-all stretchy numbers from Walgreen's, and discovered that they offer no warmth at temperatures below 72 degrees and disintegrate upon contact with snow or ice.

I have tried to tough it out with no gloves, and nearly lost my fingers to frostbite.

I have never thought, until this year, of knitting my own damn gloves. I'm slow like that. I'm so slow that often, when rounding corners, I find myself face-to-face with my own posterior.

This week I decided to knit a pair to go with my new hat, and the scarf that I made to go with the hat. And I got the most madcap idea. Are you ready? I'd knit one glove in each colorway from the two used in the scarf.

I know. You're thinking, "Franklin–deliberately mismatched gloves? You nutty thing! Who the hell do you think you are, the Lucy Neatby?"

Okay, maybe that's not what you're thinking, but that's what I was thinking. And I got fantastically excited and even pictured myself with my eyebrows dyed three shades of fuchsia.

So I jumped right in, using a partial ball of the brown colorway that was sitting on the work table, following Meg Swansen's eye-opening method in Handknitting with Meg Swansen. If you have steered away from gloves because you hesitate to knit skinny finger tubes on double-pointed needles, you must try Meg's method. I won't give it all away, but I'll say this: I-cord.

The glove worked up with lightning speed and when I tried it on after joining the thumb, it fit. Perfectly. Like it was made for me. Which of course it was. So I raced breathlessly down the hand, and hit the end of the partial ball just before the wrist.

Glove, Forever Unfinished

I ran to the cupboard to fetch the other ball of brown, since I'd originally got two for the scarf, and that's when it hit me: there was no second ball waiting. The "second" ball is already in the scarf. The partial balls, one in each colorway, are all that's left. There's not enough yarn here for a pair.

I indulged in a moment of rage, during which I may or may not have kicked a teddy bear across the room. Then came an hour of pondering and a white-hot clear epiphany: there's no way in hell I'm gonna leave the house wearing deliberately mismatched gloves.

Allowing myself to do so would unlock a chamber in my psyche that is bolted shut for a reason. I'm already too whimsical for my own good. Today, a wacky pair of gloves, tomorrow an Artistic Hat, and where will it all end? I can't say for certain, but I'm afraid there might be a cloak in the picture. For my own sake and that of those who love me, I am not going there.

But I love this pattern, and I need gloves, so there will be a sequel. I think I have some nice, navy blue worsted in the back of the stash.

*From the Studmuffins of Lepidoptery calendar. What, you think I only pay attention to knitters?

**December 30. Before she was martyred by a Roman soldier he ripped her veil, so I think she should be the patroness of lace knitters.

***And the Wichita liiiinemaaaan is still on the liiiiiiiiiiine.

110 comments:

dale-harriet said...

I can't believe I'm actually FIRST - could my hours of waiting and watching have paid off? (I'll believe it when I see it.) OK - regarding gloves. OOOH yeah. Only with me it was underpants. When I finally lost weight so that I have a Normal Human Body (for someone 4'11" tall) I went to buy new underlinens. And discovered that I had only two choices of underpants that fit: Disney Princesses or Power Puffs. I'm 65. No thenk yew. Finally wound up with girls' panties with stripes, solid colors (lavender, lime) and ditzy little flowers. My nightly prayers end with "And Lawd? If I'm hit by a car, let it NOT be when I'm wearing my daisy drawers."

PS: I love you -- and I don't for one minute believe you'd kick a teddy bear.

Claire said...

don't resist...the cape is in your future.

Laura Sue said...

Nooooooooo! Not a teddy bear!

Merida said...

Not a teddy bear! I could see Dolores flying across the room, maybe, but not a teddy bear.

I, too, became interested in gloves only after seeing the brilliant solution Meg came up with(shhh.....it'll just be our little secret.....) But you've beat me to the punch in actually knitting one, or 2/3 of one.

Enjoyed your travelogue immensely, but it did make me homesick for the white-gloves-at-the Ambassador's-tea set.

Beth said...

"Short men are like fat women: the mainstream clothing industry prefers to pretend that we don't exist."

No, you can find clothes for fat women. You just can't find clothes for tall fat women. The industry seems to think we're all short.

BTW: My word is "ballike." Interesting, to say the least.

amy said...

I'm kind of glad you decided against mismatched gloves, because for most of the post I was thinking, Hey, Franklin is going to be JUST like my 4 and 7yo boys! They wanted striped hats this winter. I knit them striped hats in two colors, and then a pair of mittens in each color because one pair always seems to be MIA when we're trying to get out the door. And you guessed it, they insist on wearing one of each color mitten. Doesn't bother me any. (What does bother me is when they insist on taking BOTH pairs out with us, thus defeating the purpose of knitting them extra in case some get lost. Sigh.)

Off to check out that book and add it to my wishlist...

Marissa said...

I've also given up freaking out over holiday knitting. I knit, if it's not done, they get a very nice looking IOU in the box and me parked over in a corner of the sofa, knitting away.

yarnpiggy said...

I think I had something relevant to say, but it has escaped me. I'm trying to figure out where to get a Studmuffins of Lepidoptery calendar.

Musclemom said...

My husband, who is Irish but of Eastern European origin, is not a lot taller than you (I know, I've met you). His biggest insult was, when shopping in California where he spent one year in the 70s, he was directed to the clothes in the boys department, because they didn't make adult clothes in his size. Shop in Europe -- men are not quite as tall as North Americans, and retailers still believe it's worth carrying men's clothes in smaller sizes.

shandy said...

Oh, how I identify with that paragaph on your epiphany. So many clothing items, lovely as costume pieces, are unwearable in public. Sadly, for me, that includes shawls.

quinn said...

I'd kind of like to see you in a cape.

Maybe a cape and a pith helmet.

I also have glove issues, because I have very long fingers. Apparently. They don't look freakishly long to me, but I have a very difficult time finding gloves to fit, and I need gloves, rather than mittens, for a lot of work I do outside.
Hmmmm. I-cord, you say....
Thanks.

Lynda the Guppy said...

Ya know...if you used a contrasting or coordinating color on BOTH cuffs, you'd have the idea of different color gloves, but with a look that shows they're a pair.

Just sayin'. LOL. Of course, I'm one of the ones that want gloves in 20 different colors...and maybe pompoms. So you might want to consider the source. LOL

Geek Knitter said...

Teddy bear abuse? Franklin, I am appalled! Personally, I think a pair of mismatched gloves might well be in my future...

Zelda said...

If you want to test-drive a cloak suitable for a Chicago winter, you can borrow mine. As soon as I finish blind-stitching the hem and lining the chaperon.

Patti said...

I too, am NOT doing any christmas knitting, because (1) they all got hand knits last year and (2) they didn't appreciate them, so this year they get gift cards... I'm done with the bunch of them ! I made a glove once, didn't like it, never made the 2nd one. I'm toying with the idea of fingerless mitts though. I'm looking forward to your sequel.. and this post may be one of your best so far...

Emily said...

Well, just when I thought I knew every saint's name in the book, here comes Saint Anysia. I'm always a sucker for a new icon.

Marianne said...

You took a class with Kaffe Fassett (or was it Brandon Mably?) and you're afraid to wear mismatched gloves? Where's your mojo? Get into your stash and use every color you find, and wave happily at all passersby.

Lynne said...

Hey, man. Care to share your sources for short man clothes?

Renee said...

Think I can knit shoes? My feet are barely a woman's size five and very narrow. This past weekend I heard "can you wear thicker socks", "let me get you some insoles" and "maybe something from the children's department?" so many times that I was ready to kick more than teddy bears. I feel your pain.

Ginaagain said...

Damn it.. I had just about banished that song from my brain...

braeden said...

I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say that NOBODY likes shopping for things like gloves and pants. Nobody. I am positive that sizes are based on a statistical average, a magical ideal in which nobody actually falls.
Yours truly has tiny, pixie like wrists and giant man hands. The only solution is knitting. And don't even get me started on pants. BTW, I think I am going to knit a pair of gloves soon, but I came to the project somewhat backwards: I had a hank of sock yarn that NO WAY would I knit socks out of. (it's a 2 ply merino, what was I thinking? It'll make nice hand wear, though.)

Sascha said...

Funny, here I sit in little DK thinking I'm the only person in the world (or at least in my town) that has the "glove problem".
It's exactly how you describe it!

According to a jeweller I once bought a ring at, my fingers are child size in circumference. They don't make gloves like that!
I go through 6 months every year (okay, maybe not THAT long in reality, but when its like vinter in the fall it feels like it) with either to long fingers, pink size 5 years old (which would fit if it wasent for my long claws) or frozen partly blue fingers.

At least they are pretty, my hands I mean. And I can use them to knit...and that's the only reason I havent exchanged them to some normal hands...yet...

Merry Christmas!
I hope you'll find the perfect yarn for your perfect fitting gloves :)

p.s. sorry for the poor english - I'm dane ;-)

the Lady said...

This from a man with violet socks.

Jeanne said...

You sound like me, who froze my head off during a nightime lighted Christmas parade (my kids were in it) because I have no hats and no scarves, even though hats and scarves are knitting basics and I've been knitting 40 of my 45 years. This fall I sat down and made myself a hat, scarf and glove set - the fingerless kind with the flap over. I'm so happy with my cold weather gear, I can hardly wait for the cold - it's unseasonably warm in the Sierra Foothills of California this year.
About your gloves: I'm sure you can scrape out a pair of gloves with leftovers if you make multi-colored fingers or something like that, or you could just obtain another skein.

Rachel H said...

I think you'd be quite dashing in a cape, actually.

Devi said...

lovely glove. and you don't think it was the "veil" that covered her face do you? can you say euphemism?

Rebekkah said...

Heh. I also haven't been able to find disposable (or non-disposable) coveralls for painters in sizes smaller than a men's large. Because medium and small men don't pain walls, and heaven knows that the task is too dangerous for us dainty women!

(My solution? I said fuck it, and got paint on me.)

Miss Sandra said...

I hate that song. I curse you for the earworm!

Melissa said...

I have sort of the opposite problem - I can't wear women's hats. My head is too big and I'm annoyed by the world of One Size Fits All. There ain't no such thing!

And the cloak comment brought to mind a social subset at Smith College where two of my daughters attend - they threaten one another that if their fashion sense deteriorates, they will have to go and live with the Cape Girls. Alas.

Linda said...

I had a dreadful moment like that, when I realised the second ball was alreay in something that I had knitted.

pencraftco said...

Chippewa Motorcycle boots. Funny you should mention that. I have a pair stuffed in the closet that I never wear. Because this was my epiphany: There's no way in hell a short white women over 50 who doesn't ride motorcycles can leave the house deliberately wearing those boots. What was I thinking? Size 7 1/2. Want to make a deal?

Yvonne said...

Franklin - you caused me to have a flashback moment, to times in my mother's kitchen when I'd be perched on the stool, and we were listening to Ken Vaughn on WWOW and Glen Campbell was belting out that song, followed by something from Conway Twitty.

I think I nearly wet myself, it was that bad.

Deidre said...

hmm hmmm "still on the liiiiiiine . . . ." Oh thanks.

Kristen said...

Watch it, bub. I happen to own an opera cape. One my mother made me to wear to a winter formal in college. It has since proven quite useful for my annual Grim Reaper Halloween costume. ;)

And to echo other commenters: (1) There are plenty of clothes for fat women out there. The manufacturers just happen to think we are all 4'10". GRRR! (2) The veil is a long-used symbol for the hymen. Yes, your old wedding ceremonies in which the groom lifted up the veil to kiss the bride at the end of the ceremony was all about sex and possession.

Gail said...

As a 4'10 woman who wears a size 16W and can't find a pair of pants that fit her, I need to move to where Kristen lives. I think they purposely stock clothes where not needed.

(Actually, as long as I get super low cut pants, the rise fits "normally" and as long as I don't care about my pants sort of dragging on the ground a bit, I can kind of do it with the "short" size at Lane Bryant. Sort of.)

Oh, and my hands are more like a children's large. I've gotten so used to ill fitting gloves that its weird to put on a pair that fit.

Susan said...

Have you considered Complementary Mittens, rather than Matching Mittens? Knit one mitten in X, with Y trim, and the other in Y with X trim. After that, it's all chutzpah... (and we all know you have plenty of chutz!)

Susan in Las Vegas

(I'm not totally fluent in Yiddish. I really hope I haven't just said something unspeakably obscene!)

Elizabeth L in Apex, NC said...

Aargh! I can NOT believe you started with that blasted song. I'm going to get you back, I swear.

Oooh! I know. "It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all..."

Chris said...

As the weather started getting colder, I got a hair across my ass to do up a set of Dashing.

I totally ignored all concepts of row gauge, and now have a set of fingerless mittens that reach down to my elbow.

The only saving grace is that you can't tell under long sleeves...

Nancy said...

Any chance you can use your stash matching balls and add another color, like cream, and do some stranded work???

Rabbitch said...

Should you find yourself in need of a cloak, I have one I can lend you.

Srsly. (Midnight blue velvet, lined in satin, with a silver frog closure. And yes, I wear it. Tempted?)

The Knifty Knitter said...

It made me a little sad when you decided to not go around with mismatched gloves, an artistic hat, and a cloak on. I dream of being that person one day. Guess I'll have to go it alone. Just don't give me too wide a berth, ok? :)

Jodi said...

Oh no!!!! It's darn chilly here in Chicago, too.

This is my first year actually doing holiday knitting, and so far I'm enjoying it (emphasis on "so far").

Delf said...

Not that your knitted gloves aren't great, but if you're looking for more options, try online motorcycle apparel suppliers like aerostich.com. They sell some plain, leather gloves in black or brown, in several styles and sizes that might fit. (They size by hand measurement, not mens/womens, so at least you'd be able to decide if it's worth looking into.)

Miss Knit said...

Aftr knitting my heart out last year to polite, but lukewarm response, I too decided to forego the holiday knitting. Who needs the stress and I need a new hat.
I feel your clothing blues - apparently I have arms that are found only monkeys. Every top I own is "bracelet" length. Sigh.

PS - You are awesome.

sprboston said...

OH, I posted my FaceBook Comment before reading this post. I'm so glad you're knitting the Meg Swansen gloves...amazing, isn't it? Have fun!

Lynn said...

I just landed myself a copy of Anna Zilboorg's Magnificent Mittens. It's fabulous, though you may not find something therein that would go with the motorcycle boots.

For myself, we don't have much use for wool mitts here in the desert Southwest but there WILL be a pair in my future. Soon.

p.s. I owe you a photo - Pacalaga and I saw _It Itches_ in the wild, at the Southwest Fiber Festival last month, and it is captured on film in all its glory. We were thrilled!

Leslie said...

And what's wrong with looking like Lucy Neatby? I don't but she certainly has the joie de vivre to carry it off and you probably could too. (harumph!)

I never lost the "baby dimples" on the backs of my hands. Glove fingers are all at least a joint too long so I make do with mittens and hunter's mittens but might have to try the i-cord finger approach.

Phro5gg said...

Try being a tall fat woman with arms like an orangutan. We all have our issue with the fashion industry which only makes clothes for airbrushed people. As for the single glove, you need to become friends with one of those one armed paperhangers my Dad always talked about.

PS; My word is licalies. I am not sure of the Freudian meaning in that!

skepweaver said...

How many eyebrows do you have, Franklin? Three shades of fuchsia??

Skepweaver

anne marie in philly said...

what, no "seasons in the sun"?

such a sexy arm model you make!

smooches! :-)

my word is "adermen" - huh?

catspaw said...

*** I hate you Franklin Habit. Thanks evah so for the earworm. Now I'm gonna have to listen to Monkee's recordings or something to replace it. I've got Callas doing Casta Diva on at the moment and she can't compete. May your gloves stretch.

=Tamar said...

The museums have some nice Italian-knitted elbow-length lace fingerless mitts from the 18th and 19th centuries.

I'm 5'5" and size XL with "Petite" (or shorter) length legs, and I can't find clothing to fit either. Good thing I'm fashion-myopic and don't mind turning up the ends.

Linda L. (down the road from dale harriet) said...

I am gobsmacked. Utterly gobsmacked.

I read the word "i-cord", looked down at the photo of your partially-gloved hand... and the skies opened and the angels sang and I found myself giggling like a crazy person and saying "it's so simple, a child could do it!"

Whoa.

Eric said...

Sounds like me looking for a pride ring at DYFK in Castro. I asked if they had any "small men's pride rings". He said sure, how small. I put my hand on the counter and he said, "oh, not that small." *sigh*

Anonymous said...

Franklin - great minds! This year was the year of gloves for me. I don't like mittens and I don't like cold hands. I used some sock yarn that was too scratchy for my feet but just fine for my hands. It's self-striping and in wild colors. My gloves cheer me up immensely and my left thumb now has a glove where the thumb doesn't flap over (it's shorter than normal.)

Adam said...

Hey now, some of us (even out here in the burbs of Chicago) do wear cloaks, and with handknitted hood linings of Manos in "Autumn" for that matter! I get some interesting looks, of course, but the cloak is warmer than any winter coat I've ever worn. And it moves so well in the wind...

Jennifer said...

Hey Franklin, just wanted to let you know that your very funny book that I've spent a great deal of time reading when I'm supposed to be working, is now on hold waiting for Employee Appreciation Days next week. What? I love you and all, but I also need money for yarn. :)

Ah, clothing made to fit everyone that fits no one. I'm a very tall fat woman. I'm six feet tall and wear a 20W or 22W, depending on the style of the garment in question. I have long legs and long arms. I wear a size 12 shoe. Do you know how hard it is to find a woman's shoe in size 12? I made some of my drag queen friends show me where they get shoes. I'm not kidding.

Anyway, the gloves look lovely. I'm sure you'll find something to make them look wonderful.

Anonymous, too said...

Chippewa motorcycle boots, gloves, and a cloak -- you could get your own adult website that way ;-)! But I hear your pain about finding gloves that fit. With me, either the palm is too narrow or the fingers too long. It's almost too bad gloves don't come in EEE widths like shoes. "Almost" because shopping for men's 11 EEE shoes can be like looking for a 7-11 that carries Dom Perignon.

And, while talking about gloves, a slightly more appropriate ear worm: "Goooolllldfingah, he's the man, the man with the Midas touch, the spider's touch....."

Ann (yet another) said...

Franklin, throw yourself on the mercy of the Rav and ask around for any extra that someone may have.

Ann (yet another) said...

Oh, and Anonymous - Hitchcock Shoes -

Dad is an 11 EEEE. Hitchcock is a lifesaver. Here....

http://www.wideshoes.com/

(and Franklin, why have your verification words suddenly started to look like a Latin final exam? faciders?)

texasdawn said...

I want you to wear cloak. I think you would look awesome in it. Just like the tux.

jeanfromcornwall said...

Gloves knitted top-down! I never thought of that. Must look them up. If you really want your mind blowing, I have a recipe, in a vintage book, for gloves with lining, knitted simultaneously on four needles, a la Maria Fedorovna. (Except that they don't have to be separated at the end, so if you mess up, no one need know. Interested?

Anonymous said...

Lyrics of songs you hate? oh yes indeedy! Whenever I'm asked a question I can't answer (say a gazillion times a day) my brain happily supplies the lyrics to Islands in the Stream complete with Dolly and Kenny duetting. Every time I lecture I have to fight whatever current song is bimbling around my mind so that I tell my students archaeology stuff rather than hits from the 70s and 80s. Sigh.
I think avoiding the cape is wise, you might look like a munchkin rather than the super sexy stud we all admire :)
Julia

Kimberly said...

Yours are not the only hands that are impossible to get gloves to fit. I have nails - long pretty natural nails. I can blow out the fingertips in 2 seconds in just about any commercial pair.
A few years ago, I discovered that I had purchased those short DP's made by Addi and dove into my stash. Voila! Warm hands! Unfortunately, I also discovered that I had to make a 2 pairs every year as I was giving away mine to someone who I felt needed them more.
And don't get me going on trying to find women's pants that are long enough in the legs - 29" waist, 32" hip, 31" inseam.
Make the cape! Wear the cape! Own the cape! Who knows, you might start a fashion trend.

alala said...

Nooo, say no to the cloak. Look how silly it is, even in catalog-reality.

Judith said...

"That part of my brain which is supposed to keep track of my belongings is entirely stuffed with the lyrics of songs I hate,"

You mean, if I could just lose "I'll be workin' my way back to you, babe...." I'd find my Kaweco fountain pen?

However, if you decide you do want leather gloves, try a motorcycle shop. They do have gloves in women's sizes that do not have flowers. You may have to pick through skulls, and Harley Davidson logos, but you will find utilitarian leather gloves in small sizes.

TO in SP said...

I know where you have a really nice pair of brown leather gloves that look great and probably fit quite well. You'll just have to come get them.

canknitian said...

I-cord. My God. Of course.

Yarngineer said...

Hilarious post. I laugh with you, not at you. I am glad we aren't alone in our mental epiphanies. :D

Anonymous said...

GO Franklin!!
I love when knitters think 'out-of-the-box' :)
dm

Anne said...

I-cord fingers?! Wow! Now I can make my darling daughter a pair of gloves that fit! Thanks, Franklin!

Thanks, also, ever so much for that earworm. Now here's one for you:

Oh dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made it out of clay, And when it's dry and ready, Oh dreidel I shall play, Oh dreidel dreidel dreidel ...

India said...

I'm a relatively recent reader, and love the blog--thank you!

Johnny A. does an absolutely stunning guitar instrumental version of Wichita Lineman on his first CD, "Sometime Tuesday Morning"; in fact, the entire CD, all instrumental, is fantastic. You might want to give it a try!

Judy Becker said...

Franklin, you could have had non-matching gloves that have matching cuffs - you just needs some contrasting yarn that goes with your two colors.

Cara said...

I'm sorry to hear about the lack of yarn for the glove, especially when it looks so great! Surely there's something you could do? A third, contrasting yarn for the cuff, as someone has already suggested, sounds very sensible and really not that whimsical. You know we all love your whimsy, though!

Anyway, yay for you with the no Christmas knitting! I don't know who declared that everyone who knits must automatically freak out and completely stress and spazz about knitting presents for all of their unappreciative relatives and they'll simply die if they don't finish them all in time! but I'm glad to hear the voice of one who is not caught up in all that. Very refreshing.

Mary said...

I made a pair of mismatched gloves last year because I ran out of black yarn for the last two fingers on the pair. So I have a black glove and a black glove with 2 white fingers. I don't care. And I have worn cloaks in the past and will do so again in the future. :)

Oh, and thanks for putting that really stupid song in my head.

Enjoy gloves that FIT! :)

Anonymous said...

why not make a pair in kingfisher blue?
WWGD?

Seanna Lea said...

I have gone through a ridiculous amount of those stretchy Walgreen's gloves. My fingers are long for the slenderness of my hand, and I'm always poking my way out of the ends of the fingers. I really should see about making myself a pair of mittens or gloves!

Aran Auntie said...

My kids wore Mr. T. socks (mismatched and recommended by Mr. T.) why not Mr. T gloves?

Jessica K. said...

I-CORD fingers??!!!??? Well, blow me down. Why didn't someone tell me before now?!

Yarnhog said...

"...could trade mittens with Hummel figurines." Hahahaha!

It's no easier being a really tall woman with size 11 feet. One of the things I love about knitting is being able to make clothing that fits ME! I hate trying on clothes and feeling like I should apologize for my body because it doesn't fit the clothes. Making my own underscores for me that the problem with commercial clothing is the clothing's problem, not mine.

Oh, and I've never had a pair of gloves that fit, either.

Wee Quantum Furball said...

The problem with me and gloves is that the fingers are always WAY too short...and the wrists way too wide.

When I was born, my mother spent hours (to hear her tell the story it was months) checking to make sure I didn't actually have an extra knuckle.

They are pianist's hands. Fine boned and long, long fingers. And, I compound that by having ridiculously long nails. Yes, I'm one of those.

So, finding gloved with fingers long enough is never possible. My motorcycle gloves, I had to buy extra-large to get the finger length, and then I made a thick set of wrist wraps to put on under the gloves so they...kinda...fit.

But, I've always avoided making gloves for myself...I may have to check out Ms Meg's book and give it a go. Thanks for the referral.

And good luck with finding a colour mix that appeals. I actually liked the idea that a previous commentor had - to do each hand to the wrist in the alternate colours and the wrists in a matching colour...especially if it's one that draws on the colours in the hat and scarf. That blue just might do the trick, eh?

Good luck - and hope you have a delightful holiday.

Kelly (rav id-fairieknits) said...

Franklin is there enough of the other color to do from the fingers to the hand of each glove and then switch to the grey for the cuffs? Or do the fingers for each hand in grey and the rest of teh gloves in the blue? Something so you still get to use both colorways and get a fun pair of gloves.


I love the blue morpho butterfly. They are my absolute favorite butterflies ever, there color is amazing. I even have a tattoo of one on my shoulder (right where the real one landed last time I was at the butterfly house!)

Lara said...

Hey, I'm from Wichita.

I have small women's hands. Try buying work gloves. Apparently children are more suited to hard work than small women, because that's what I had to buy: children's leather work gloves. Nutty.

I did once manage to buy some nice gloves off the rack that fit. They were on clearance because they were too small.

Nell said...

I hear ya. It's a slippery slope from knitting T-shirts and clear Converse sneakers to technicolor ponchos. I'm toeing the line quite carefully.

Your reason to knit gloves is my reason to knit socks. I wear a man's size 11 or 12 shoe. (I'm not a man.) We went to Florence, Italy on vacation. All I wanted to bring home was a beautiful pair of Italian leather shoes. Alas, I was told that they do not make women's shoes in my size in all of Italy. "Maybe in Germany," I was told. Sigh...

Anonymous said...

When you next decide to make gloves
try this trick. Lay your hand on a
sheet of graph paper and draw around it and see how the place where the fingers end is not on the
same line of the grid. Most glove
patterns have the thumb offset for obvious reasons but the fingers all beginning in the same row of knitting. That does not fit most hands. What I do (working cuff upwards) is begin the tube with some sort of ribbing or other narrowed whatever to keep the wind out, widen slightly as I pass the lower palm and branch out a tube for the thumb. Then I continue this narrowed tube to the branching off of the pinkie finger, then keep the resulting narrowed tube going for a bit and branch off yet again for the index finger and some more narrowed tube and only then divide that for the middle and ring fingers. I use Meg's Icord idea for each finger, having scooped up some of the surrounding fabric in the palm to incorporate into a hole-less base for each finger and I go it one further by making the finger with one fewer stitch than it needs and latching up the "ladder" that comes with the first few rows of Icord to become that missing stich.

I am certain sure that you will work out a way to combine the yarns you have with the yarns you need to buy (see, any excuse to buy yarn is good) to make one of a kind, not weird, use up the last bits of the hat and scarf yarns and end up with leftovers to begin
another cycle of "how can I use this yarn to advantage" perhaps, mittens for days when gloves are not needed.

And Happy Holly-days,
Linda

KarenJoSeattle said...

I have that book and have looked at that pattern and still haven't made myself a pair of gloves. I'm at the opposite end of the non-inclusive size scale as I wear a women's 9/XL. And I don't like scallops on my gloves either.

Thanks for the prompt to take another look at the gloves. Best of luck.

Jess P. said...

Brillant, absolutely brillant - I cord.... now why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, I'm obviously not in the Meg Swanson league. I'm with you on not walking out of the house with mismatched gloves. I just can't do it.

Alwen said...

The glove with the dangling ends creepily reminds me of a Hand of Glory.

Alrischa said...

Can't you just do the wrists in a matching color? Oh, that one's so good-looking! Don't frog him!

Laura said...

Honey, you live in Chicago... who cares what color or style of gloves/mittens when it is that damn cold? Stay warm, even if it involves pink, fluffy angora.

M-H said...

i-cord gloves are the bees knees. I love them. If you google you'll find some really clear instructions for making them on NonaKnits. And secondly, I think that ripping of St Anysia's veil was probably a metaphoric allusion to a rather more brutal action.

TinkingBell said...

Franklin - one day I am going to be reading this and you'll be responsible for me wetting my pants! It was nearly today - but not quite!

Next thing you know you'll be knitting the coordinating mens thong and then a mismatched pouchette- and then where will it end? OK I should possibly have phrased that better - but still.....

Try - oh - I dont know - mismatched gloves - but with matching cuffs!!
(Remember - the collar and cuffs should always match...)

Fades into the undergrowth.....

Anonymous said...

Unlurking for just a moment: When I moved from the fairly-sunny-south to snow-ridden-Iowa, I made two pairs of mittens for myself. One red, one dark blue, one sorta-sage green and one sorta-light-blue-gray. Yes, one of each. They live in my cap/scarf/mitten basket and I just grab any two mittens as I go out the door. Ought to work for gloves, too.
I-cord fingers - wow!

Betsy said...

Warm thoughts...
Alpaca...make your gloves out of alpaca...the warmth is incredible! Especially stranded!
Those stretchy store bought things make terrific glove LINERS when it gets reallyreally cold...

For those of you who tried to counteract the lineman...thanks...no really...thanks...I didn't want to get any work done today anyway...grrrrrr...

Franklin...why don't you make a cloak/cape for the teddy bear...just to try it out...you might like the look.

Anonymous said...

Let me just add to all the fashion woes and say that my genes are my Dad from the head to the waist (tall and lean) then my Mom from the hips down (short and wide). Can you imagine how impossible it is to find pants that don't display my crack as I stand up or(I know this doesn't apply to you Franklin but thank your lucky stars)a dress that I don't have to tailor? Also be thankful you're not my Grandfather my Ma remembers going to the tailor's with him and the tailor had to cut off 3 inches from the sleeve before even pinning the rest of the shirt. I still laugh at that image today!
KatieMc

Anonymous said...

As a tiny woman, I too find it difficult to find grownupgloves. The only ones that fit me are these incredible black suede numbers made for my mother in the fifties. No doubt at Macy's. No doubt for a trip on an airplane, for which you must always dress. Perfect for waving goodbye from the blustery tarmac as you board the plane in manner of Grace Kelly...

I digress. They fit. Why doesn't Macy's do this any longer? I guard those gloves with my life.

Knit Purl Gurl said...

Speaking as a SHORT fat woman, I completely understand. I go to the store looking for my size 14/16s (I'm 5'2") and they only come in regular length. Like how tall would you have to be to wear a size 14/16 and look slim? I'd have to be lie 6' tall! Maybe I'm just vertically challenged. And it's okay if you have Hummel fingers - they may be small, but mighty. Look at all of the things you create with them. I HATE shopping. Period. If it isn't bad enough to walk out of the changing room in a pair of cords- the noise of your thighs rubbing together preceding you and the mere rubbing causing a small fire only to look over at the 20-something admiring her well-placed bum in the same pants in a size 0 next to you as you try to extinguish the flames of your corduroy fire... Ugh! Don't get me started. Thank God yarn is fat free.

Marcy said...

Well, Franklin, I *did* wonder why, if you're okay with mismatched gloves, you don't just randomly pick two of the nine you already have lying about the house . . . so I was relieved to hear that you abandoned the mismatched glove plan.

And your description of Swansen's technique actually compelled me to click through and buy the book. I hope you get a kickback!

Linda said...

Ok, just to let you know: James Taylor's version of the song really isn't too bad. It is on his new "Covers" cd, assuming you can stand to listen to JT.

And yeah, i-cord gloves will be a wonderful solution. Consider the single brown one your swatch... and treat yourself to the richest softest favoritest yarn you can find for the new pair you're about to make :-)
Linda in Florida

Chloe Sparkle said...

"I'm already too whimsical for my own good."

I need that phrase on a tee-shirt.

Anonymous said...

Men's gloves, size small? LL Bean is your friend. Many styles in size small.

Heather Outside Boston said...

How about you buy one more ball of the brown you started? It will still match your other pieces and will certai9nly let you finish this glove and produce a mate for it. Or am I being too practical?

sarah-jane said...

waving - or drowning?

Liz said...

I'm with you on the "Wichita Lineman". (After you've heard it alternated with "Stairway to Heaven" for two solid hours, between 1am and 3am, at a folk festival, sung by someone with an unusual concept of musical key, to the accompaniment of a £3 guitar which is unacquainted with the tuning fork, even the sight of the lyrics is enough to trigger a traumatic episode...)

wordtapestry said...

In the meantime, lest you get frostbite... the expensive place (Nordstrom's) does have men's gloves in small. And if anyone gives you attitude in today's market... They have one size xxs for women that is very neutral (black, with cashmere lining) that I've bought, and I guard them like a terrier.

But I can't wait to see the gloves you end up making.

firefly said...

Mismatched gloves are a slippery slope. They lead to things like, well, ...

Toe socks.

You know what I'm talkin' about. Those cutesy foot-gloves from the 70s with one toe in each color, and a neutral foot, and a contrasting heel.

You take on the mismatched gloves, and how long before there's a pair of day-glo toe socks on your needles, eh?

I'm so glad you pulled yourself back from the precipice!

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