Sunday, December 28, 2008

Lurching Toward Epiphany: Day Four

On the fourth day of Christmas, Dolores gave to me

Day Four

four letter words,
three clenched men,
two hurtled jugs,
and a party that lasted 'til three.

33 comments:

Annash said...

Poor poor Harry, he looks like he needs a holiday after all this holiday season.

Lisa said...

Oh, Franklin, you glorious hunk of humanity - I can't wait for the next 8 days. Happy effing christmas to you, too. Cheers!

(formerly) no-blog-rachel said...

I love Dolores - she makes my potty mouth seem positively circumspect in comparison.

Harry looks as if he could use a drink. Or six.

Lynn said...

Oh, Franklin, Franklin.
Such talent.

Abbie said...

Fleecy **** might be my new favorite curse. Please thank Dolores for me. If it's safe to go near her.

Lynne E. said...

I am so afraid to place an order for roving . . . .

p2sso said...

The best day yet. I want to be Dolores when I grow up.

Leslie said...

Oh my ****ing word, this is so ****ing hilarious! Thanks for cheering me up after a ****ing awful, emotional day!

Anonymous, too said...

Ah, Dolores! A girl after my own heart. There've been more than a few times I've told someone to put their "****ing hair back on and get the **** out of here."

But poor Harry looks like he could use a relaxing soak in lavender-scented woolwash while listening to something soothing, like "Mantovani Plays the Monkees".

Kristy said...

But "bleep" wasn't the word Delores or Blagojevich were really using...

Quilting Mama said...

I am LOVING Dolores and her days of Christmas.

The traditional days cost of $21,080 this year, just wondering what will Dolores' costs be this year.

Rudee said...

Dolores has a tongue so sharp she doesn't need a knife to cut her food. Well-she didn't need one anyway! I love Delores.

Gail said...

If this was a book, it could go on the shelf with my other favorite Christmas books.

Joy said...

My favourite yet. And I haven't lived in Illinois in 30 years lol!

meezermeowmy said...

You tell 'em, Delores! A sheep of extensive vocabulary you are!

LindaWD said...

Is Harry going to survive the next 8 days? Harry - hang in there!!!
Happy $#@%ing New Year!

Silvia said...

Such eloquence!!! She sure has a way with words does Dolores!!

Anonymous said...

Oh.....my, Dolores is completely out of control. BTW, I got a message on my Blackberry from Harry, he needs to be rescued before he is totally traumatized. He can't take much more. Did Harry get the Blackberry for Christmas?

Seanna Lea said...

These are great! A wonderful holiday treat!

Kristy said...

Holy crap so funny! I want THIS on a t-shirt.

Brialliant, as usual.

Artnitter said...

Poor Harry! He's looking like he's had enough party -- and many days yet to come!

Delightful!

rogue1 said...

Does Dolores have a punchcard for governors? Kind of like collecting the state quarters, I'd imagine. Gives a whole new meaning to Fifty Nifty United States.

dale-harriet said...

I do love a girl with a colorful vocabulary........ (say, did she ever give you that fleece you ordered, originally?)

Anonymous said...

I have my hand clamped over my mouth right now trying to stifle the screech that wants to come out.
Dead serious.
I love me some Dolores.

--annie

Christy D. said...

You should totally make that into a t-shirt, or mug, or notecards or something! :) I'm ______ing serious! This thing is ______ing golden! You shouldn't give it away for ________ing nothing!!!!

Tif'eret said...

Franklin - You are a genius. You can make me laugh when I'm so effing tired of being buried in snow here in Portland, Oregon that I can barely knit for the tears in my eyes. On the other hand, Laughing Tears are beautiful. I swear you're better than valium. (See, I'm old, too - out of date drugs, even.) Love

Lee said...

omg, hilarious! and so clever. keep 'em coming, please!

Madame Leiderhosen said...

That is the best! I've been out-cursed by a sheep!

Please, please sell me the original. I'll throw in some homemade fleur de sel caramels into the bargain.

MustBuyMoreYarn said...

Now the question is, since this is text and not audio, how would one best describe Dolores vocally? Volume level I can guess but if you can match her to a celebrity/actress voice that would help me, as well as others. Oh and please use more contemporary individuals if you can. While they may not be up to par w her almighty woolness, it'll help me from hijacking the Netflix upcoming movies order much to the chagrin of my yarn-tolerant hubby.

Darcys Knotty Knitter said...

I love this one so funny;)Hugs Darcy

Cláudia said...

Hi,
Franklin, I loved you blog, everything you do, and I declare now, I'm your fan.
HugsXhearts.
Cláudia.
cbmimilk@yahoo.com.br
(flickr)

Jenn said...

I'm in Japan so by the time my Holiday Gifts Interweave Knit magazine arrived from my parents, the date was long past. You're mentioned rather often in there, so I came to take a look, and am laughing hysterically. Dolores makes my day.

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