It has been really busy here at Fibertarian Party headquarters because Dolores got sort of distracted for a while right after the convention. I mean it was not her fault everything was going great and we were trying to figure out who should be the vice president candidate, and that is tricky because honestly nobody wanted to do it. (I mean I would have done but since I came from Germany they said I can't be president so I can't be vice president and I think that stinks. I mean it is not like I have an accent you know.)
So our convention was over already and we were still trying to figure out who would be a good choice as veep (I love to say that veep veep veep veep veep) and then the Republicans had their convention and well Dolores just got so mad. Because you know there was all this cheering and stuff and this lady came out and she was the person they want to be vice president. They dropped balloons all over her they were so excited.
And you have never seen Dolores get so mad!!!! She said if this country wants to elect a loudmouth hypocritical fading beauty queen with a violent streak and funny glasses and a largely fictitious biography well goddammit (sorry I am quoting) I was here first and I am going to sue for copyright violation.
Then she said she was going to the Lucky Horseshoe to plan out her case and we didn't see her again for a long time.
And while she was gone we went ahead and picked Mrs Teitelbaum as the veep (veep veep veep veep) candidate because she was born in Mattoon Illinois so she's American and Lana the campaign manager said apparently in this day in age any moron who can walk across a stage and read off a teleprompter is qualified for high office and I said you know sometimes Mrs Teitelbaum isn't so good at reading or walking and Lana said to shut up.
So now Dolores is back home and she is looking to go on the road and do some campaigning! But see after the convention expenses we only have about $5 in the kitty (meow! hee hee) so she is going to have to travel by mail.
Okay it is not really Dolores. She would cost a lot of money to mail she is pretty heavy. It is a cut-out picture of Dolores, but she says if people would mail her around and take pictures of her in different places and then we could post them online and it would look like she is traveling and nobody would know the difference as long as you don't tell the media shhhhhhhh.
So she wants to do this all through October and we need to organize quick
If you do it you will get a big campaign button that Franklin is making that is only for the people who host the campaign tour, nobody else will ever get one, and he says that the button and seven dollars will get you a hamburger pretty much anywhere in America.
So I guess that is all for now okay thank you for reading and I hope you will stay tuned and watch as we march to victory in the White House except don't tell Dolores but right now I am kind of leaning toward Obama.
*** Okay everybody I just had to pull Franklin out from under his desk because I guess there's like 240 offers already and so if you could just hold off now while we sort it all out that would be neato okay thanks! And boy you are sure an enthusiastic bunch Dolores is going to be so excited!