If the 1,000 Knitters project leads me repeatedly to harangue the participants about learning to love themselves, that's why. You're reading the words of a fellow who for ten years never once looked at himself in the mirror. I even learned to shave my face by feel. I can deal with mirrors now, but I still don't like them.
Needless to say, this (what to call it? fault? attitude? neurosis?) peculiarity is an impediment when it comes to the pursuit of anything approaching romance. Fine, I know I'm not the ugliest man in the world. I know that I even have a feature or two that might be considered choice. However, my reaction to any indication of interest from my fellow men is still unmasked suprise, followed immediately by incredulity.
It came as a complete shock, therefore, when a former colleague alerted me to a notice somebody had posted on Craigslist (with which I was only vaguely familiar) in "Missed Connections," a section in which the lovelorn (or lustful) take a shot at finding those they have noticed from afar but been unable to meet.
The writer, in this instance, was looking to speak to a short guy, with a shaved head and goatee, who knit most weekday mornings on the Red Line heading north out of the city. I had to admit that did sound rather familiar.
There has been no subsequent connection, but I found the "Missed Connections" concept so amusing that reading them has become a regular feature of my day. Most of the time they follow a predictible pattern:
- Man sees other man in gymnasium / restaurant / elevator / steel mill.
- Man senses that other man shares mutual interest.
- For some reason (i.e., "I was with my wife") man cannot approach other man at that moment.
- Man suggests that if other man recognizes himself from the description and is interested, he should get in touch.
Here are a couple recent gems for your delectation. The titles and commentary are mine, of course.
Two Guys in a Nightclub
Two Guys in Another Nightclub
"Got the courage to talk to you just before I went home. You said your name was like the animal. I would like to see you again." (Giraffe, are you out there?)
"I wish I had given you my number. I'm the guy with similar hair." (Two guys with similar hair in a gay bar? What are the odds?)Two Guys Eating Burritos
"You were having lunch at the Chipotle around 2 or 3pm maybe. You're pretty hot.Two Guys, One of Them Clueless, On a Cruise Ship
What's up?" (Well, that narrows it down, doesn't it?)
"Patrick? Met you on a Carnival Cruise and haven't heard from you since -- what happened? I hope you see this..." (I bet I can guess what happened to Patrick.)Two Guys and a Hard Disk
"You fixed my computer. Thank you." (Is this a euphemism? Or just a rather odd way to offer customer feedback?)And I only read the "M4M" listings. I can't even imagine what must go on in the "M4W" and "W4M" sections. I bet you straight types get up to some freaky stuff. I've heard rumors.