Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Potpourri

I must be getting better. Instead of not blogging because the prospect of getting out of bed and going to the computer makes me cry, I'm not blogging because it turns out my employer does, in fact, own me body and soul. Or so they think. I'll be setting them straight a little later on today.

Depending upon how that meeting goes, I may have all the time in the world to blog very soon.

For now, whilst I eat my morning oatmeal and yogurt like a good gym boy, I offer the following bits and bobs.

The Mother's Day Project

Reader Anne, my neighbor to the north in Milwaukee, has begun a collaborative art project to express opposition to our own, dear Mr Bush's little undertaking in the Middle East. I've read her description and find it to be a fine idea. Read for yourself, and perhaps you may be inclined to participate.

Old Yarn

Those nice ladies who run Arcadia Knitting are pulling out all the stops for the shop's birthday week, May 1-6. There's a full calendar on their Web site. I've already missed Point Protector Day and will have to miss Spinning Day because I'm working, but there's still a Norah Gaughan Trunk Show coming up and I rather think I must show up for Book Day.

Fun fact: Kathy and Sharon say they've sold 14,000 point protectors since going into business seven years ago. According to my calculations, if you laid them end-to-end, 14,000 average-sized point protectors would form a line 583 feet long. (Of course, this could never happen. We all know it's impossible to locate two point protectors when you want them, let alone 14,000.)

Schadenfreude Corner

Gym membership: $50/month
New, smaller Levi's 501s that fit recently refurbished physique just so: $75
New heels for favorite cowboy boots: $35
Round of drinks for old friends at Charlie's Bar on Saturday night: $35
Running into the "younger man" that Mr. Ex dumped you for and realizing he's easily put on forty pounds in the past year: Priceless

I Shall Scream and Rage If I Can't Have One

Stephen Fry persists in ignoring my offers to relocate to Caviar-on-Toast, or whatever English village he lives in, and be his love slave and knit him socks.

However, thanks to this ingenious device I could still live out my fantasy of waking up to his voice purring in my ear. Unfortunately, the Web site does not indicate whether "Franklin, you titan among men, please do that to me again!" is among the pre-recorded sayings.

I admit that installing an electronic man in my bedroom is slightly pathetic; but I've just about had it with the Genuine Article. They should all come with off-switches.

Dolores On the Air

Speaking of flipping men's switches, Dolores asked me to pass along word that she's going to be recording her maiden (?) Podcast as soon as her voice recovers from an accident during rehearsals at the Lucky Horseshoe. Apparently there was a mix-up in the sound booth, and her backup track for "I Would Die 4 Ewe" transposed up three keys and by the end of the release she had shattered a chandelier, the mirror over the bar, 138 beer mugs, and the glass eye belonging to Jimmy, the bouncer. Didn't do her vocal cords any favors, either.

The ENT guy put her on total vocal rest which has made the apartment remarkably quiet. Were it not for the usual aromas of Kookaburra Wool Wash and patchouli, I'd barely know she was here.

54 comments:

Anna-Liza said...

Oh, my, I am so glad you got to enjoy the new 501s so ... thoroughly. You so deserve it.

Hear you about the off switches, although as switch hitter I can say there are women who would be more pleasant company if they had them as well. Possibly including myself.

And I have a new gift idea, thanks to your post about that ingenious device! Thanks!

David said...

Is it redundant to say that Schadenfreude is a dish best served cold? Good for you.

I eagerly await the Dolores podcast.

Helen said...

So glad to hear about the Schadenfreude. Enjoy.

roggey said...

As for the note on "priceless" - darlin' I'm right there with you, nothing feels better in that situation. Well, maybe a few things do, but 1) I just know that I don't look good in the orange jumpsuits the county jail hands out - 2) they won't let me take my needles in with me and 3) after getting rid of husband #3, I don't need a "bunk mate" anytime soon, at least not of that variety.

Good to know you're feeling better.

marie in florida said...

when and if you find yourself with all that time on your hands, and even if you don't ; i'm waiting for your 1st book...

Vicky in Vancouver said...

Priceless, indeed.

Waiting for the "madam" version of that clock. I know the perfect person to receive it.

Anonymous said...

I teach college German. I devote a whole "it's-Monday-morning-and-we're-tired" mini-lecture to Schadenfreude and its joys. And now I have a new example!

Paul said...

Congratulations on the "priceless" moment. You deserve that... Because YOU are priceless.

Whichy said...

I am glad you are feeling better. And there is nothing like a bit of Schadenfreude to perk the spirit right up.

I understand about the job thing - I pretty much did the same thing recently. I'll be starting my new job in about 1.5 weeks. It feels really really good.

Rachel H said...

If you do find yourself with a lot of time on your hands after your meeting, you should come and visit Toronto. Really.

Mel said...

Well, here's hoping you give some hell at the work meeting. Nobody deserves to be used like that. Nobody. And most especially not you.

Seanna Lea said...

It's such a great feeling to be going around looking like a million bucks and find that person looking like they hit trash alley. Love the schadenfreude even if I now have Avenue Q stuck in my head.

beadslut said...

Thanks for the link to the Mother's Day Project. I don't _think_ the last thing I embroidered was the Les Zeppeling 4 symbols on my jeans when I was in high school, but maybe...

Schadenfreude is a good thing too.

moirae said...

I love your opener!

threadingwater said...

Franklin, I love you! My sincere thanks for plugging The Mother's Day Project. This Administration has done everything possible to prevent us from seeing the extent of the death and destruction they have wrought. Any way - large or small - that we can hold the mirror up to their dark hearts is worth the effort.
Thanks, too, to your wonderful readers for their generous responses.

christine (threedogknits) said...

Thanks for the mother's day link. I've signed up to embroider a name. And congratulations on the Schadenfreude! Priceless, indeed!

Lisa said...

You are responsible for my (doomed) crush on Stephen Fry. Imagine my shock and dismay when I found out that we are "incompatible", if you know what I mean. And now you tease me with the clock. You are a mean, mean, wonderful man.

Matt said...

40 Lbs. huh?, that is priceless!

Rocketbride said...

is it bad that i didn't even need to follow the link to know what you were talking about? stephen fry clock!

takingthe5ththistime said...

Perhaps Dolores should have a word with your employer? (Once she's able to speak again)

The Stephen Fry clock is to die for. He definitely needs to do a "madam" version. "Madam, the pool boy has arrived. Shall I put out a towel or your bathing attire?"--Oh, I suppose that could be "Sir" as well...That voice.

Linda said...

I loved Schadenfreude.

Peevish said...

Oh. My. I must now scream with rage until the universe deposits one of those divine clocks on my doorstep!

Knitting Addict said...

So, how'd it go! Do we get to hear from you more often?

Hope your day got better -- I TOTALLY can relate...only I'm still @ the crying stage!

{{{{FH}}}} for you my friend.

DianeS said...

Schadenfreude...defnitely priceless!

DH says that unless that clock reaches out and touches someone (mainly me) really hard, it's just not going to work.

Rochester, NY isn't much of a place, but it does have some decent colleges that might well have something you would be happy at. And we're close enough to Toronto to call it a day trip, if you push it a bit.

Lee Ann said...

I plead utterly guilty to watching the children's show Pocoyo (sadly not available in the US) simply because Stephen Fry is the narrator. It's freaking hilarious.

The way Pocoyo's hatflaps flip up and down according to his emotions is also brilliant, and luckily for me, someone in Canada has created a Pocoyo hat pattern. Which means I shall be knitting one. I wonder if that would get Stephen Fry to come talk to me for a few minutes...

Thank you for the link. And sweetiepie, you're marvelous. Jeans or no jeans.

*ahem*

Helen said...

Seems I'll be ordering my next clock from the UK. I love it. Cannot wait for the Madam version.

Meanwhile, I eagerly await your report on the days meeting. My meeting resulted in a resignation letter -- and more "free time". If you wind up with lots, I'd be honored to host you here in another University town, where I'd plug madly for you with various deparments, and abandon all responsibility to sit and knit int the gazebo by the koi pond.

What can we do to brighten your day? Send me a snail mail, and I'll work on getting pressies in the door...

And the Schadenfreude -- priceless indeed.

KellyD said...

Priceless moments are irreplaceable. I am thrilled you were able to have one. You are amazingly handsome.

Josa Craft said...

It IS priceless...good for you. Glad you are getting some must needed peace and quiet. The beer mugs weren't so lucky...

Thanks for the tip on the Mother's Day Project.

Enjoy the jeans, baby, you earned them!

Christine Olea said...

Man oh man to have Stephen Fry in my bedroom just waiting to wake me up. Do you think he can clean up the melted pile of me on the floor as well?

Alison said...

Though by now it's probably too late, good luck with the acquisition of free time!

And I just freaked myself out. How the hell does blogger appear to know who I am even though I'm using a new computer?!

MaryjoO said...

I was holding out for one of those expensive Zen clocks but will wait for the Madam version of this one ... what a find! Maryjo

MonicaPDX said...

Hope you gave 'em hell, Franklin! Glad to see you back. Schadenfreude - god, I love that word. And the example. ;)

Dolores, on total vocal rest? Ok, confess. You had to use a gag, didn't you? ::looks innocent::

Anonymous said...

I, too, am in love with Stephen Fry (though not in the same way you may be)...

While others with Netflix may be watching new release movies, I've currently got all seasons of Jeeves and Wooster cued up for my viewing. Pure, plummy pleasure.

Carol in Oregon

Jack said...

Franklin, you titan among men, relocate to Perving-on-Blokes, New Jersey, and do that to me again and again, knit socks that I can wear with my motorcycle boots and be my love slave. If you tire of me there is a city just across the Hudson River, full of men ready and willing to do unspeakable things to you for your delectation.

Lucia said...

You've seen this joke, right?

Maybe you'll have time for the various New England fiberfests... a grrl can dream.

janna said...

So I guess I'm the only one who read "point protectors" as "pocket protectors." I was trying to figure out what sort of creative thing a yarn shop would do with pocket protectors.....

Hope the meeting went well. Tomorrow is my last day at my current place of employment!

Ted said...

Ah: morning oatmeal and yogurt.

The breakfast of gym bunnies everywhere.

Ditzy Cadet said...

Ill take the oatmeal, you can keep the yogurt..
Then again, if its the Yoplait Whips or Custards, I could be persuaded.
Did you get my email? I sent it to your photography site, since its about photography? Lately email servers are dropping me into junk mail..

April said...

Thanks for the link to The Mother's Day project. I joined almost immediately. So glad to "see" you feeling better and hope all works out as well for you as the gym work outs. Looks as if Karma is catching up with you if the vocal cords of darling Dolores are out of order. VBG. Peace finally? lol

Terri said...

There is just something about "Point Protector Day" that cracks me up. Glad you are feeling better.

I Knit London said...

I have friend who knows Mr Fry. She worked with him on Pocoyo.

Next time you're in London and you need an intro...

junior_goddess said...

You lost weight, he found it. And the millstone too. Good going!

Dr. Steph said...

That clock is fantastic. Though I have contemplated ways to avoid the rotation of the earth so I can eek more time into my day (mostly due to employers and soul ownership issues).

Anonymous said...

Does that guy in Caviar-on-Toast need a housekeeper? It would be worth it just for the return address labels (snerk). Just found you, now I have to go back and catch up on archives....say, you're in Chicago - could I get you to run over to American Girl Plae and pick me up something? (Oh my DEAR, I am SO not serious!)
Your less-far-north Neighbor in WI

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for the pointer to the Arcadia Knit Shop. I was in town on business, saw your post and went there on the train all by myself. What a warm and wonderful place, full of great women. Only disappointment was you were not there. Hope your meeting went like you wanted.

Heather said...

" admit that installing an electronic man in my bedroom is slightly pathetic; but I've just about had it with the Genuine Article. They should all come with off-switches."

aMEN and AMEN!!! Hallelujah too.

angie Cox said...

We are only going to work on Stephen next visit to Caviar-on-Toast if we can persuade Rupert Everett he is bi-sexual again and his life long companion should be a desperate 17 year old girl .I am horribly sure you've somehow picked up our T.V signal whilst writing this as there's a line in "Another Country" that is suspiciously like the name of your village .So two sad gals watched it 3x this morning?There is a new T.V series with Stephen here we are enjoying and oodles of horrible letters to the media saying that his once comedy partner is doing far better ..so what ! Anyhow I am sure he lives in Norfolk so pop over and start a lovely holiday. Maybe he'd take you out in his Sopwith Camel.angie and Mrs H.B Everett .

Sweet Camden Lass said...

Wouldn't Stephen Fry's socks be utterly enormous? He's in a lovely new TV series over here. Perfect Sunday Night telly.
~x~

sahara said...

"Point Protector" Day? You're joking.
The immediate image that flashed into my mind––made me realize that it's late and I need to go to bed.

Ah, your blog is priceless!

Krista said...

I just wanted to let you know about this knitting site: https://www.ravelry.com/account/login

I am just a lurker but enjoy reading.

me said...

Franklin, I just wove in the last end on my rendition of your fabulous "Littlest Democrat" sweater.... I know my sister in law will absolutely love it, but it may get me kicked out of my inlaw's family (which ain't all bad ;)

Jenny/Somewhereknitting
http://somewhereknitting.blogspot.com/2007/05/done.html

Rob said...

Charlie's....I'm so utterly envious. I haven't been in about four years.....and really need a visit. Chicago is only four-ish hours away....hmmmmm

allergicmom said...

You can now download the Stephen Fry voice samples for free. It was announced on BoingBoing this morning, and I thought of you!
http://www.boingboing.net/2007/05/09/stephen_fry_talking_.html

Kookaburra said...

Haha. Thanks for using Kookaburra Wash for the aroma! ;)