Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Cross Your Legs and Wait

I am (still) working the borders of the christening shawl. They must be getting deeper, as I've put in at least seven dedicated hours on them in the past three days. Therefore, I will not let it worry me that they measured (unstretched) 4.5 inches on Sunday, 5 inches on Tuesday, and 4 inches a few minutes ago.

Corner
From the ménu fixe at Ye Sygne of Ye Boyled Asse*

Indeed, I have no reason to worry at all. Susan's baby was due two days ago, but is taking its sweet time to make an entrance. At first I thought it might have decided to hide until Bush is out of the White House. (Wouldn't you, if you could?)

But then I remembered Stephanie's dictum that "Babies always wait until their knitting is done" and it all made sense. My little niecephew, who obviously knows that it's the Fabulous Gay Uncle who gives the Really Good Presents, has decided with precocious tact and courtesy to wait for notification that the final blocking is complete.

This might mean a baby born in September, rather than May; but autumn in New England is so picturesque, no? In the meanwhile, Susan, maybe you could stuff some fashion magazines and a Sudoku book up there so the kid won't get bored.

Hey! Now I have time to go to the beach!

*It's a Rabbitch joke. You don't read Rabbitch? What the hell's wrong with you?

25 comments:

Ann (yet another) said...

It's looking better than mine which is on the border as well. Not that I'm counting, but I believe I have 700 rows to go...out of 862 or so. "A diaper for the jolly green giant" was the latest description - well, it's triangular and green, so.....no well you don't want to know.

jenfromRI said...

As the mother of a baby who came late - jokes about waiting until September are just. not. funny. Your sister would kill you long before then.

Nancy said...

Let's see, there's a front that stalled out a bit so is 2 sats late...maybe the barometric pressure change will bring on baby! (That still doesn't give you much time, but it does give you a scootch more.)

chris said...

The shawl (so far) is beautiful! I hope for your sister's sake that she doesn't have to wait for September (fashion magazines included in that sentiment!).

And where do I get a Fabulous Gay Uncle? I want one! :)

ted said...

I'd like a Fabulous Gay Uncle as well.

Lace changes size when you measure it. Stay calm, because it's going to be fabulous, like you are.

becky c. said...

Thank you for linking me to Rabbitch - hilarious! Will add to my bloglines forthwith, thus eliminating one of the hundreds of things wrong with me.

Szarka said...

Er, aren't christenings still performed at some remove from the birth? Mine was in October, and I was born in late August. Surely you can get the border to listen to Old Math over the additional 45 days.

Paul said...

Fabulous gay uncle. Heh. I'd like a fabulous gay daddy, but that's another story....

LOVE the shawl!

Mel said...

I'm down to 40 more rows on the body of mine (80 more stitches to increase, and then the edging). Funny how it seems to slow down as it gets bigger. Just don't make Sue wait too long. There's only so much bell dancing a Very Pregnant Woman can do to while away the time.

Anonymous said...

i wouldn't mind the wait if i were going to be wrapped up in that lovely blanket of lace!

Karoline

pacalaga said...

I see jenfromri had the same thought I did. If the dictum holds true, you'd best not sleep until that puppy is in the pins and drying, or not even Dolores will be able to call in enough favors to save you. Pregnant women are MEAN, beloved sister or not.

dragon knitter said...

poor sis. i hate overdue babies.

are you going to do KIP shirts for this year? i would be so disappointed if you didnt!

Sean said...

courage, my friend. Knit on. You've got time to the christening! I'm sure they'll wait. Such an amazing gift! Such wonderful knitting.

By the way, I didn't mention but I'm so impressed that Ms. Swansen commented on your blog yesterday!briana8984

Lisa said...

You're such a guy, always measuring it and then measuring it some more...

Your blog's pretty cool. Now stop playing with that ruler already and just knit.

Cherice said...

You do have a little time after the baby is born to finish up. Surely your sister will wait for at least a month for the christening (I with mine they were about 6 months old if I remember correctly).

I have a fabulous gay cousin with a fabulous partner. Everyone should have a fabulous gay relative (that's just my not so humble opinion).

Stephanie said...

For the love of all things holy.
Finish the blanket.

MonicaPDX said...

Y'know, Franklin, I've never had a kid meself, and haven't been chummy with that many woman who have... But I've Heard Stories about them getting a wee bit tetchy towards the end. (And justifiably so.) Are you sure you want to be quite so tongue in cheek when she's already past due? Just a thought, dude. I have visions of Susan somehow vengefully making her way down from New England, fratricide in mind, overdue or not. Or possibly deciding to have your niecephew on your doorstep, which might be an even better revenge.

Besides; think of your poor doorman. C'mon. Weren't the crafters enough?

Victoria said...

i HAVE a fabulous gay uncle and they so do give the best gifts!!! :-D Your niece/nephew is going to be one lucky kid!

the shawl is looking gorgeous1

sahara said...

Personally, September is a good time; who wants to give birth in the heat?

And when you whip out that shawl, your position as the Fabulous Gay Uncle Who Gives the Really Good Presents will be insured! Will that hold up, if she has a coupla' more? ;)

Kirstin said...

Franklin, I feel your pain. I just got an email from a friend I haven't talked to in a while that casually mentioned that she's having twins next month. Ack!

Deborah C. said...

That lace does NOT look like Boyled Ass! It just needs some blocking. If you try to make your sister wait until September, she will kill you, no question about it. The last weeks of pregnancy are the absolute worst! (Although I don't blame your niecephew for wanting to wait until the current administration is gone - is there somewhere we can hide, too??)

Alwen said...

I have it on good authority (Liz Lovick, who led the Shetland Lace workshop that taught me lace knitting) that unblocked lace always looks "scrumply".

I think of it as the caterpillar stage of lace knitting. Just wait, it will be a butterfly.

And it's been over 7 years since I had my kid, but let me tell you, especially once the baby drops, waiting until September is not on the list of options.

PICAdrienne said...

Honey, I am a Mom of three...your sister will curse you if the child does not arrive until September due to the shawl not being done. Trust me, at this point she is thinking she is going to be pregnant FOREVER!

That being said, babies arrive when THEY feel like it, not on any schedule. Very fortunate little niecephew. You will be a truly fabulous Uncle.

Sister Sue said...

So it's YOUR FAULT?!?!? Then FINISH that d*%n shawl before I send mom after you (you think I'M impatient for this baby to arrive?! You should see Grand Pappy and Grandma!)

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