I am excited today. Atwitter, in fact. Tweet.
Ted, the one and only Ted, he of The Princess Diaries and Knitterguy, is coming to visit. The sheep have been outdoing themselves making the humble abode presentable and yesterday I heard the band practicing "If I Knew You Were Comin' I'd Have Baked a Cake" (Dolores has a harmonica solo).
Somehow, though, until last night we all overlooked a detail of paramount importance.
Ted is Canadian.
We have relatively little in-person experience of Canadians at my house. It's one thing to make contact through the blogs, and they sure seem like nice people, but it's another to actually host one. I'm not certain we're properly prepared. Among my worries:
- Should I crank up the air conditioning to "Severe Wind Chill" so he'll feel at home?
- Will I have to say everything to him twice, once in English and once in French?
- Do Canadians have special dietary needs? Or can I just feed him normal food?
- Will he expect to play hockey every morning before breakfast?
- Would it be unwise to mention Celine Dion in a negative light? Am I capable of mentioning Celine Dion in any other light?
- On a related note, are Canadians still touchy about the ultimate failure of Bryan Adams to achieve staying power on the pop charts?
- Do I still have that Mountie uniform in the back of the closet?
- Should I have taken the time to finally figure out what the hell "curling" is?
- If I giggle every time he says "about" will he get upset?
Dolores says we'll be okay as long as he doesn't smell our fear. Wish us luck, eh?