Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Van Hoofen Papers













42 comments:

Mom said...

You always make me laugh and I need it today. I know that you will have a wonderful trip, try to relax and go with the flow.

All the Way With Knitting said...

If Dolores wasn't a Sheep I'd suspect Holly ( daughter of 16) was related to her .Handbags and shoes ...I just don't get it comfy for one and big and useful..............stop it Holly that hurts.

S.Kate said...

..."ate it for lunch" launched beverage on laptop screen.

Franklin, you're a scream!

LornaJay said...

Thanks! I really needed a chuckle, and Dolores, as always, obliged. Enjoy the trip, and best wishes for perfect lighting and wonderfully framed shots.

Lisa said...

---ya better just find room for the purses. I'd hate to see what else she eats.

Snarled Yarns said...

She's not taking this well is she?
LOL!

Paul said...

OMG! Why are you not publishing books???!!!!!?

Amy said...

I second Paul's book idea. Your blog is without question the funniest, best written one I read, and there's some pretty good competition out there!

Anonymous said...

She has such lovely penmanship for a sheep....
-Lynn in Tucson

Patience said...

Remember, the object of the exercise is not to see how much the suitcase can hold.

Mama Lu said...

Franklin, that was lovely. If my father was annoyed by someone he always signed his letters, "I remain your most humble and obedient servant." I doubt if the recipient got the point, but it made him feel better.

Anonymous said...

Compromise. Put the yarn into the evening bag. Keeps your laceweight tidy and her royal highness happy.

LaurieM

I can't believe I'm writing about compromising with a fricken' fictional high-handed SHEEP!!! But I can't help myself, she seems so damn real. Nice job.

LaurieM again.

Fyberduck said...

Franklin, a Seersucker jacket? (hangs head) Good for Dolores.

I suppose this'll teach you to get between a - woman - and her accessories, tho ;)

Somewhere Else said...

Hysterical laughter...Have just spent 1.5 hours with Technical "Support". Wish I'd had Dolores to sic on 'em. Does she realize the necessity of "empty luggage to bring stuff home in" or does she operate on the "buy another piece and let Franklin carry it" principle? Wait... I think that is a rhetorical question....

Flossie said...

oh my, I love that Dolores ate your hat for lunch, HA! Sorry Franklin, shouldn't laugh at your misfortune, but just TOO funny.

Alice x

David said...

Perhaps couples counseling might be a helpful option at this point.

Hornblower said...

Dolores - I worry that if Franklin gets too annoyed with you, he might lose your vaccination certificates. Bluetongue? Hoof and mouth? Brucellosis? Anyway, let the man have his seersucker & then he'll post pix and we'll have a jolly time rolling our eyes. And yanno, you can always buy purses and more luggage while you're there - in the little tonny gift shop. Just charge it to his room.

Mindy said...

Not sure who will be more surly by take-off...

Thanks for the giggles!

Redford Phyl said...

..."ate it for lunch" — I can't stop laughing and I can barely type due to the tears. Just what I needed to counter the birthday blues.

Donna said...

Knitting a muzzle for Dolores is always an option...

Habibi said...

I think I'm related to Dolores...distantly. My maiden name is Van Hoof and I have a penchant for purses and I love the smell of wool. Coincidence? I think not! I'm so excited because I like D so much more than most of my close relatives!!

Cheryl said...

you are just too too much.

brewerburns said...

Franklin-- just tell me when you're book will be available on Amazon.

And go out and buy another suitcase, for the love of all that is holy. A woman needs the right handbag!

Rachel H said...

Franklin, darling, you're simply causing yourself extra stress by arguing with her. Just smile and nod and make sure you're the last one to have access to the bags before the trip. S'all I'm sayin'.

Kathy said...

(mad giggling is heard from the cube at the end of the aisle) How can I continue to work here (large accounting firm and all the buttoned-down-ness that implies) when everyone thinks I'm nuts because I'm giggling at Dolores?!? When is the book coming out? Or maybe a syndicated comic strip? More Dolores! All the time!!

beadlizard said...

I wish you could have seen the look on my daughter's face when I held up the array of Dolores t-shirts that just arrived from Cafe Press. Your designs definitely appeal to teens! --Sylvia

Lauren in Austin said...

No one else has commented on the bit that really cracked me up: your failure to conjugate the verb "foutre." Ce la me fait rigoler beaucoup.

jpt said...

Rory hon, you were the one who told me "A well cut seersucker suit is a joy forever." Are you quite certai the lad doesn't have some other pile of bits and bobs less vital for the high seas? Is all that underwear, for instance, really warranted? It's hardly your first time smuggling things. Use your imagination and don't be so ridiculously petty about cotton fabrics. La jalouse does not look good on you, dear. Kiss kiss!

Anonymous said...

Don't give Dolores even a silly centimeter of space that could be used for your photography equipment. (But listen to her about the seersucker....) Loved the photos yesterday and hope you will post more from your trip!
Sherri

marie in florida said...

i hope your new straw hat doesn't upset Her Highney-ness's tummy. hate to think what she'd use your luggage for in the case; suitcase that is.

marie in florida said...

By the way? does SHE know Jeeves? i seem to recall him doing something similar to his master's hat....

Wannietta said...

I don't know if sheep vernacular is different from that of North American humans, but Dolores using the word "humble" ... ? Not that I want to get on Dolores' wrong side (is there a right side?), but we don't love her for her humility. (I think that that is more your forte Franklin)

Lee Ann said...

I guess not calling you today was a good move, then :-)

You want a little tutoring in proper French that would make your maman blush?

I'll wait until you get back. Clearly, you have your hands, as well as your three bags, full. Told you those fairy tales and nursery rhymes were really to whip little kids into shape and scare the crap out of them. I'll bet you never stopped to think that those "three bags full" meant full of Swarovski-studded purses and FM heels, not yarn. I'm so sorry, darling. Sucks to learn the truth.

(You just DON'T want to know about Sleeping Beauty. Trust me.)

Janine said...

Thanks for the giggle - I really needed one today :-)
Your creation is just so funny, she becomes more real with every post.

Sean said...

Franklin, I'm in love with you! You crack me up. Honestly, you need to put all of this in a book. You're then next yarn harlot!

Can't wait to meet you in person come August!

FiberQat said...

At least she didn't insist on your taking out the 100 copies of your price list done on deckle-edged Crane paper.

Bon voyage, mon ami!

P.S. I have rose pictures on my blog for a meditation moment.

Anonymous said...

OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!! Coffee up my nose while laughing.

Please add a warning not to drink beverages while reading this blog.

AngeliasKnitting said...

Franklin, you always make me laugh. **i must remember to NEVER be drinking something as I'm reading your blog**

Zee said...

LOL!!!

You slay me! This was priceless!

And here I was arguing with myself trying to figure out which knitty book and small project I'll take along for my trip!

PuppyMomma said...

I swear Franklin, if you weren't gay I'd be proposing marriage right now!

Elizabeth said...

Dear Dolores: Do you prefer sheared or unsheared? I'll do whatever you want... Oh, and maybe casually mention to Franklin that he's not bad for a human.

www.jaen-3d.com said...

It cannot have effect in actual fact, that is what I think.