Friday, February 24, 2006

Had a Rough Week?

I can almost guarantee a mood lift if you go here.*

I want one of these so much. I want a ewe, and I will name her Lucy. I will put on my leather jacket and combat boots and I will take her for walks down Halsted Street on a leash. We will stop at Caribou Coffee and I will have a cocoa and she will have a little bowl of water, or maybe a latte. I'll knit and she can sit under the table and munch sheep treats.

The guys will stop and stare down at her and she will look sweetly up at them and say "baaa."

I can take Lucy over to the lake and let her graze in Lincoln Park. Or walk her around the zoo. I bet she would like the penguins.

She can accompany me to the neighborhood bookstore, after I've trained her not to nibble on things on low shelves.

She will be a hit at Charlie's Bar when I go two-stepping. She can wear one of my cowboy kerchiefs around her neck.

For shopping trips to Michigan Avenue I will get her a fancy leash at Kenneth Cole.

If I used her as a model, she could be a tax write-off.

At night she can sleep on a fluffy blue pillow (with tassels and a monogram "L") at the foot of the bed.

I wonder if they can be housebroken?

*A special nod to Liza, who turned me onto this site.

45 comments:

Andy said...

Note to Boystown: "be afraid, VERY afraid!" This wouldn't have anything to do with the previous mention of "...that particular act with the unusual object..." would it now, Franklin?!!

Franklin said...

You sicko. See if I ever sit next to you at Men's Night again. Hmph.

Kel said...

So very sweet! I can so picture you walking Lucy on a leash. Thank you for the cute story and the mood lifter.

Rachel H said...

oh, oh, I want one too!

Anonymous said...

I used to have a fantasy about how I would hide a horse and it would be my best freind. It was black and liked to jump.

I was 10. :-P
LaurieM

Yvonne said...

omg TOO CUTE.

Geogrrl said...

Now I know I'm not the only one who has contemplated a sheep as a pet.

Sometimes, when things get to me, I think becoming a shepherd would be a great job. That or lighthouse keeper.

Cheryl said...

no they can't...(boo hoo).... they are awfully adorable.

dhi said...

(Did you see that the wee one next to the envelope box was wearing a SLEEVE? That's how little it's teensy neck is!)

Don't hit me--I have pet sheep. But not this little, or cute!. And they wouldn't stay underneath the table at the coffee shop. They'd be in your LAP, tangling your knitting while BLEATING pathetically.

However, I see Cabbage Patch Kids diapers in your future, honey.

Rabbitch said...

Sweetie, I couldn't get to the page, although I shall try later, but it would seem you are speaking of a sheep.

Something you might want to consider is that even little tiny sheep smell of little tiny sheep poop ...

Colleen said...

You seemed to have it all planned out except for . . . well . . . what goes in must comes out, no?

Eldronius said...

Franklin! When I was in early high school, a baby sheep was swept away from her mother and was found stranded in a ditch. We bottle raised her (well bowl-raised, she did not like the bottle for some reason) and named her Lucy. She grew up thinking she was a dog, and she happily flolicked in her odd hopping way around the yard with the other dogs. She was very adorable and was good for moisturizing your hands when you petted her.

One day my mother found an oat seed embedded in her wool that had rooted itself almost into her skin...gross. Another day she decided she wanted to try the enticing bucket of motor oil and gagged whiled she stumbled away in disgust. Unfortunately, five minutes later she ran over to the same bucket with surprise to find it was still gross and would make her gag. Silly sheep. I loved her...my dear Lucy.

Helen said...

I'm hiding this page from my children. I'm sure they'd try to persuade me and my DH that they're so small we could easily get a few for the back yard.
Then I'd have to pretend I hadn't thought of it first, and claim that I really don't want one....

Wonder how our dog would react to sheepies....

Barb B. said...

ODE TO LUCY

I had a wee sheep named Lucy
And man! She was sure a cutie.
We’d go into town
And browse all around.
Me and that cutie-putootie.

Off to Caribou Coffee, quite near
(She’s loves a wee latte, no fear)
But while under the table
She was just wasn’t able
To resist leaving a wee souvenir.

We titupped to Charlies Bar, yahoo!
To two step and jive with a boy or two
But she stepped on all toes
And that’s how it goes
When you have four feet and not two.

Best I could do in a couple minutes.

Barb B.

Jean said...

Oh, Franklin, as if I didn't have enough to worry about with the Calcutta Cup tomorrow:

Annie Modesitt has a remark about a sheep today, something about "...the expression is so frank". I was going to expose her on my blog tomorrow (sheep have only one expression, you can read it as you will) -- now I'll have to drag you in too.

Sorry -- but with love.

Jean

Sean said...

OH MY...I WANT ONE!!! I'm still trying to talk my father into a few or three 'pacas for his back yard! Free manure for the garden and built-in lawn trimmers!

Mel said...

How darling! Once we have a farm for the 'pacas, I also want a small herd of Shetlands, 'cause they're also small and quite personable.

Aidan said...

There is a lucious private island for sale 10 minutes from Glascow with lots and lots of room for a huge family of sheep, decent outbuildings, an old lighthouse, and a manor house to die for. If I had the $5 mil I'd let you come live there and baby the sheep.

I'd also like to keep a bunch of chickens. I like fresh eggs.

Paul said...

Franklin,
You have the best blog on the web - certainly my favorite! Amazing knitting, and an incredible sense of humor and view of the world. Thanks for the laughs - look forward to more... Paul

FiberQat said...

You must be overdosing on blocking instructions dear. Yes, they are cute, but you don't want them in the bookstore. They don't know the meaning of "No." "But Daddy, it's fiber!"

I was seduced by QueerJoe's ravings and your voice on Cast-On to partake your blog in full. I found it very entertaining and well written, putting my blog to shame. May you have more lace adventures, and if anyone gives you guff about it, smack 'em with a quirt.

Jane said...

And in summer you could teach her to knit directly from her own fluffy fleece to prevent her from overheating. Or, if you had an early heatwave, you could knit from one end and she could knit from the other. You could even take her to a poodle parlour and give her a blue or pink rinse and then you wouldn't have to dye the fleece.

Molly said...

That would be adorable.

Too bad that, looking down the page, it's clear these people are puppymillers.

LornaJay said...

Franklin,
Like Jean, I really must break it to you: sheep *smell*. Not of nice clean fleece either....

Anyway: the Cheviots are a range of hills in the Borders, visible from the top of the hill above Jedburgh. So it's good to know that something of the Old Country is alive and well in the USA.

I've got a lovely piccy of the hills with a light dusting of snow that I keep meaning to use as a banner on my website. Must dig it out soon.

Molly said...

Barb - no, you're right. I went and looked at the pages right after I posted, and while I still think that's a lot of breeds, it doesn't seem on its face to be a puppymill. That'll teach me to post before I check (well, fingers crossed, anyway).

Barb B said...

Molly, I don't think that's a fair comment. Many breeders breed more than one breed of dog. (a friend breads Bostons and Bouviers) Reading their site, and info on their breeding practises and sales contract, I would not think this was the case.
However, you dont know without looking at the place in person, or speaking to a reputable person who has. Breeding once a year is not a puppy mill practise, neither is gauranteeing the health of a pup, including free of inherited defects.
Don't get me wrong, I loathe puppy mills, and managed to have one shut down. They would not agree to let me come to their place, wouldn't even tell me where it was, so I called the SPCA, good thing I did as they shut it down.
Here's an excellent link
http://www.puppymills.com/
Barb B.

Nerdy Knitter said...

Oh, those little bitty sheep belong on cuteoverload.com (http://www.cuteoverload.com/)! If I ever get my pet Alpaca (whose name will be Al, thank you very much), will your Lucy come to play with Al? I wonder if they make a mini-alpaca...

bess said...

i love the pic of the lamb and ewe snuggling and smiling! too cute!

IDonneForgot said...

A little advice, Franklin- I'd think twice about taking Lucy to Charlie's. Sheep are notoriously bad two steppers. They're pretty good at line dancing, though, if you can keep 'em from drinkin'.

Celtic Knitter said...

Seems like a good way to pick up men too!

Hindrek in Vancouver said...

My goodness. Little Bo-Franklin. We could all organise ourselves and knit up outfits and poop bags (you will need alot of them) for you. Imagine how you could manipulate lace patterns into sheep-outfits. The mind reels at the possiblities. PS. are you a lead or a follow...?

Sherry W said...

Is that what happens when you wash a full sized sheep in hot water?

Really, those smiles on the babies...

Linda said...

HEY, FRANKLIN!

Now that I have your attention...*ahem*

Not that I don't appreciate ALL of your drawings, but I'd REALLY appreciate it if you'd make the Venus drawing available in a Ringer T-shirt for us women. That's the most flattering style for those of us with larger uh...hips and stuff. Pretty please? I've been wanting to order that design for months, but it hasn't been available in the right style.

Diane said...

Yes, actually, I've had rough week, beastly cold that knocked me right down! However, this allowed for much (very slow) knitting time.

Your Lucy sounds quite delightful and reminds me of when my family and I came up with the concept of "Helper Elk". We were visiting St. Joe, MO where there was an elk show (who knew?). The only way we figured that we could get one on the plane home was to designate it as a helper elk. You know, like those dogs with the blue jackets that help people with disabilities? We came up with all kinds of helpful things your elk could do: be a handy location to hang needed items, could pull you along (your choice...rollerblades or skateboard), clear the way for you to get through, etc.

By the way, looking forward to seeing the blocked shawl...quite miraculous how it works out!

Lee Ann said...

The lambs are "smiling."

Oh dear god.

Unfortunately, Cheviot is a bit coarse for spinning. Ask Rabbitch. Also ask Rabbitch about the delights of housebreaking small animals. Litterboxes, darling. When they remember to have good aim.

Get a fish, Franklin. :-)

new reader TJ said...

I did have a rough week, actually, Franklin, I was in the hospital, and I confess yours was the first blog I felt like checking when I got out. I always get a lift. You're great. Love the mini sheep too.

David said...

So sweet, and yet mildly unnerving. If I see you staggering down the street with a bottle of Woolite, I will fear the worst.

dragon knitter said...

I WANT ONE! (furtively comes up with ways to disguise said sheep as a dog)

Jay said...

Don't forget that you could hire her out for parties for those like something less transient than an ice sculpture, and that you will never have to go to a movie by yourself again (not that I am suggesting anything there!).

Anonymous said...

You could tell people that it was a Bedlington terrier. They are sheep-like in appearance - but not as cute.

Michelene said...

No doubt, Lucy could be elected alderman. Then you could dye her green and she could march in the St. Patty's Day parade.

Buzz said...

let me be the first to request that Frank do a comic (strip?) on the adventures of Frank & Lucy in the big city?

Corbie said...

Re: housetraining a sheep -- diapers.

I tried to borrow a friend's bottle-fed sheep once for a demo. The sheep was NOT happy being away from the flock, and was bleating so loudly I took the poor thing right back home.

Carson said...

Thanks for the much-needed mood lifter (now that's what I call a thoroughly wholesome, not to mention free mood lifter!)
Did you know you can rent-a-sheep from nysfarm.com?
just like sponsoring a ugandan orphan but you get a pound of yarn as well!

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