Pond Crossing Imminent

I grew up in a military family and we moved around a lot. To this day, the sight of brown cardboard packing boxes makes me as nostalgic as a whiff of dearest mama's green pepper casserole.

We spent so much time on the road that I was only six or seven when the first of my pre-trip rituals emerged. Books to be read while traveling had to be put into quarantine, literally set apart on their own shelf. They could not, under any circumstances, be opened until we were out of the driveway. I still do this.

Over the years a host of other ironclad customs have joined the first. Together, they form a lovely little framework of neurosis and superstition with which I shield myself from the fears that might, if I gave into them, possibly keep me from going anywhere at all.

The newest tradition debuted when I became a knitter. It comprises a 50-yard dash of finishing, weaving ends, blocking, and then worrying over the piece at it slllllooooooooowwwwwwwllllllyyyyy dries on a towel on the living room floor.

I know there are knitters out there who are much better about this sort of thing. They are never to be found frantically undoing blocking pins while the taxi to the airport is waiting downstairs. But there aren't any knitters like that in my apartment, which is good because I would smack them.

Well, a whopper of a trip is nigh. We're going to England today, Tom and I. It's a just brief jaunt, a whistle stop in London. And then we're sailing back on the Queen Mary 2. I can't believe it. Tom figured out how to do it without smashing all the piggy banks. He's smart like that.

So he gets a new knitted thing, in this case a simple but useful garment I'm calling the Transatlantic Hat.



It don't look like much but it was an interesting knit. First I did the outside - the cabled bit. Since the yarn is DK weight (the same I used in Grandma's Swallowtail Shawl) that made for a thin hat, not terribly warm. So, borrowing an idea from dear Elizabeth Zimmermann, I picked up stitches around the bottom and knit a lining for it in the same wool. And then, to make quite certain fierce Atlantic winds won't get through, I picked up stitches again and knit a roll-up brim in 2x2 ribbing to give extra protection to Tom's neck and cute little pink ears.

I'm sure there's a more efficient way to do all that, but since I was making it up as I went along I'm just happy it worked. I'm also happy it's finished. Even with a fan blowing on it, it took the sucker 48 hours to dry. At least I beat the taxi driver this time.

I Knit, You Knit, We All Knit at I Knit

I sent Queen Liz a gob of e-mails and kept poking her on Facebook, but she never got back to me so I'm going to hang out with knitters instead. I'll be at I Knit at 6:30 on Thursday evening, and as William the Conqueror said as he stood on the French side of English channel, I cannot freaking wait. I'll sign books and read some and draw some and generally natter away until they all throw shoes at me.

While I'm Away

The Etsy shop has been put into suspended animation for the duration, since there's no point in your ordering things when I can't ship them. The Guys with Yarn calendar will return to stock (along with prints, cards, etc.) when I get back. Meanwhile, the Cafe Press shop (which doesn't require my direct involvement) is still open for business for all your bag, shirt, ornament and thong needs.

During the trip I will have minimal access to e-mail, then no access to e-mail, because there's no way I'm going to pay Cunard's extortionate rates for a bad satellite connection in the middle of the ocean. Talk amongst yourselves, darlings, and I'll be back with a full report.

A Note to the All the Fibertarians

I can only imagine it's been a rough week for those who supported Dolores for President. I promise you it's been even rougher to live with her in the aftermath. She actually disappeared for about two days, presumably working through her disappointment in the company of one or more jockstrap-clad campaign advisors at the Lucky Horseshoe.

When she at last slunk back through the front door, she refused to receive visitors or answer her cell phone. Even very sweet overtures from the Obama camp regarding a cabinet post fell on deaf ears. I asked her if she might not want to issue a statement to all the loyal party members. She screamed "Thanks a million!" and threw an empty bottle of Everclear at my head.

And then, perhaps inspired by the sight of my own open suitcases, she left this note on the refrigerator.

There's no cure like travel. Have taken to the road to
rediscover my soul. Borrowed your rollerblades, your
portable sewing machine and your copy of The Eustace Diamonds.
Au revoir, cupcake.
P.S. Don't touch my stuff.

Knitspotting

I was running around the city doing errands this morning when I stopped dead in my tracks near my neighborhood's train station. There was a woman at the bus stop with a baby dangling from her shoulders in one of those sling-thingies. The baby was wearing what I recognized instantly to be the February Baby Sweater from Elizabeth Zimmermann's immortal Knitter's Almanac.

It's not every day you chance upon a Zimmermann in the wild. Moreover, I've attempted that pattern–which is a total hoot–but abandoned it because I realized the finished sweater was going to be too small for Abigail. This specimen appeared to be expertly executed in an intriguing, lustrous yarn.

Without realizing it, I must have stared a little too long.

"Can I help you?" It was the mother. Her tone could not be described as earnestly helpful.

"I'm sorry," I said, blushing. "I couldn't help noticing your baby's sweater. Elizabeth Zimmermann, right?"

"What?" She backed up a step.

"The sweater–it was designed by Elizabeth Zimmermann."

"What? No. It's not designer. Somebody made it for the baby. Some friend of my husband's gave to us."

"Oh, I see. So you're not the knitter."

"What? Why would I be a knitter? Look, why are you talking to me? Get away now."

She waved her cell phone in a marked manner. I decided the time was right to end our Meaningful Dialogue and head for home. I hadn't had breakfast yet, anyhow.

Must try to remember in future that the entire world does not knit; nor does it expect swarthy, bearded men in biker jackets to field-spot baby sweaters–not even famous baby sweaters.

Come Say Hello

I'm going to be signing copies of It Itches at two different places around Chicago this weekend.

On Friday evening from 6–9 p.m. I'll be at Loopy Yarns, where I'll also be signing prints (Loopy is now carrying a selection of them) and the new Loopy Yarns tote bags (which sport a drawing I created specially for the shop, available nowhere else).

And on Saturday from noon–2 p.m. I'll be at My Sister's Knits in Beverly (on the South Side).

Okay It Is the Big Day So Please Go Vote Now

Hi there it's Harry! Good morning and happy Election Day to all the Americans from Fibertarian Party headquarters!



Franklin and Dolores already went and voted because the lobby of our building is a polling place so it's easy to get there just an elevator ride away. Franklin didn't even change out of his pajamas can you believe that what a slob.

Dolores got all gussied up because she figured there would be reporters and stuff to watch her cast her vote, but there was nobody and then they yelled at her for taking too many cookies off the snack tray and she got real mad and I think she is going to just head down to the Lucky Horseshoe and start the victory party early. Boy I sure hope she wins because if she doesn't I don't want to be here tomorrow morning.

And Franklin finished packing his "just in case" bag and it's by the door with his ticket to Montreal, and now he is hiding under the bed and says he won't come out until the polls close so I am the one who is here to say, Vote for Dolores! And also I will update you on the second part of her campaign tour which was HUGE! Like in some places where she went they totally ran out of chairs!

Okay here goes.

East Lansing, Michigan



So you know how politicians are supposed to kiss babies well Dolores was looking to do that and when she was in Michigan she found a brand new one! I know what you're thinking but my guess is this lady was still too foggy from the epidural to know what was going on and boy I sure hope they cleaned off the baby afterward. By the way congratulations lady your baby is real cute.

Nashua, New Hampshire



So this is Dolores with pledged delegates from Westminster Fibers at their annual sales meeting for the Rowan, Nashua Handknits, Gedifra and Regia brands of knitting yarns. Of course these people would like to see Fibertarians running the country because then they could all afford beach houses and stuff and maybe they would invite us all for a fancy party!

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada



Then Dolores was supposed to go to North Dakota but she started talking to this guy and they were having some laughs and she forgot to get off the bus and then she was in Canada! So she got off at a truck stop and found somebody to drive her back to America, but first she spent a couple of days up there and met local yarns at Prairie Lily Knitting. She told me they were a lot like American yarns but they talk kind of funny.

Washington, DC



When Dolores is president she will have to live in the White House. It is in Washington, DC which is our capital so she went there to check it out and see if her new office is big enough for a dance floor with a DJ booth. Anyway they wouldn't let her into the house so she went over to the National Mall instead, but she couldn't find the Starbucks or the Ann Taylor just a lot of museums. And then she saw this old lady trying to cross the street and well she knows a photo opp when she sees one. So the theme of this photo is if you are really old Dolores is the candidate for you she will help you cross the street.

Santa Monica, California



So then it was off to Santa Monica, California where Dolores shook hands with a lot of really interesting people on the famous pier, including this one guy who said he remembered her from when she was a hat check girl at this one topless bar in Santa Cruz but then she punched him in the nose and he didn't remember that any more.

Oak Ridge, Tennessee



So Dolores found out that none of the other candidates had been to Oak Ridge, Tennessee and plus she had been curious to visit the Spallation Neutron Source for quite some time and so off she went. I asked her what is a Spallation Neutron Source, and she said the hell if I know but holy crap do those science types know how to drink.

Marin County, California



Dolores wanted to show that she is very sensitive to the needs of immigrants and so in California she posed with this lady who had fled her oppressive and terror-ridden homeland in a homemade raft and risked her life to pursue the American dream. (I am sorry in advance Dolores made me write that.)

Vacaville, California



And then she went to meet up with these sheep friends of hers from California who were working at the Bearded Collie Club of America's herding trials. It was maybe not a good idea because after she gave them a little speech the sheep started pushing the dogs around instead of vice versa and it sort of got ugly and there were police and now she is not supposed to go back to Vacaville ever and I have to write a bunch of apology notes today.

Friday Harbor, Washington



So I will have you know that Obama and McCain are not the only candidates with fancy celebrity friends and here is proof, it is Dolores with Cat Bordhi. And if you are asking me I would rather spend the evening with Cat than with Daddy Yankee or Barbra Streisand. Okay maybe I would like to meet Barbra but only if she is in a really good mood. Also Dolores says if she is elected she will put Cat in charge of solving the energy crisis and we should have it fixed in about a week.

Nutley, New Jersey



Okay this picture came with a press release from the guy who is running the campaign out there and here is what he said. "While campaigning in Nutley, NJ, Dolores took time out to pay respects to two other inspiring, strong females. After preparing perfect omelets for her campaign staff, Dolores viewed Annie Oakley memorabilia at the museum, then placed a tribute of preserved Hortensia near the childhood home of Martha Stewart."

(Thank you Jack but what the heck is Hortensia? I hope you don't mean a lady named Hortensia.)

Mobile, Alabama



It was not really Mardi Gras while Dolores was in Mobile but the Fibertarians down there said it didn't matter let's party anyway and Dolores said okay fine and then–wait a minute what is the Sphinx thingie about? Boy, Mobile sure must be weird. No wonder Dolores was down there for like a whole week and we never heard from her.

Sand Lake, New York



In Sand Lake they arranged for a motor parade right through town and Dolores was cheered by seven people! One of them thought she was Sarah Palin but we decided to count her anyway.

Decatur, Georgia



In Decatur, Dolores insisted on posing with this pretty statue of President Thomas Jefferson because she says they share many of the same values including sleeping with people who work for you.

Fort Collins, Colorado



I am not supposed to tell you what happened to Dolores in "Ram Country" but you can probably figure out for yourself anyway.

Hendersonville, North Carolina



Dolores hooked up with somebody at the Southeastern Animal Fiber Fair and they asked her to sign their copy of It Itches before leaving the motel room. She said forget about it because Franklin didn't let her write the introduction or thank her in the acknowledgments.

Lacomb, Oregon



So you know Dolores is really a country girl at heart because she was born on a farm and so in Lacomb she went back to her roots and hung out with the chickens. If the rooster is reading this she says you have my email so be in touch.

Las Vegas, Nevada



Dolores was going to just relax in Las Vegas after speaking to a small crowd about her pet cause of retirement homes for topless showgirls, but then she ran into this Fibertarian who had tickets to see Jimmy Buffett and Dolores says don't worry, what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas until my next volume of memoirs comes out.

Madison, Wisconsin



Wisconsin was kind of scary for Dolores because of course she has a thing about cows and it is America's Dairyland but after a couple of drinks at the Badgers game she relaxed enough to go hang out at a local cheese-and-karaoke bar and they all said she did the best version of "Rhiannon" they have heard since Joe Lieberman was here in '04.

London, England



Then Dolores went to London, which is in England, which is a country that used to own our country and so she went over there to show she is tough in foreign policy and tell that queen not to get any ideas about takesie-backsies. And she went to see this play called Waste at the Almeida Theatre and she got backstage and she made a pass at the cute director Sam West and she won't tell me what else happened but you can see here he was getting hot and bothered. Dont worry Sam we are all coming back to London next week so stop calling all the time okay.

San Mateo, California



They had a rally in San Mateo and Dolores met The Littlest Fibertarian and my goodness don't you think that child will have a story to tell her grandkids or maybe her therapist.

Key West, Florida



And since had been way up north in Alaska she decided she should go south too and she went all the way which is of course something Dolores is known for.

New Haven, Connecticut



And finally Dolores ended her tour at Yale University which she said is a place that proves we live in a fair country, because everyone deserves an education and even if you can barely tie your own shoes you can still get into Yale.

Well that is the report on the campaign tour. Thank you to everybody who hosted, the first 30 hosts will get their souvenir buttons in the mail soon and our secret panel of judges is getting ready to pick the best picture for a prize!

Remember that if you are an American today is a big day to show you believe in what our country is based on, and that is the right of all people to have a say in their government. Also sometimes after you vote they have free cookies.

Love,
Harry
Secretary, Fibertarian Party of America

Speaking of Knitting

October, 2008. Never have I ever had such a busy month–not even in college, when our final exams were painfully stretched out over multiple weeks.

After nearly fifteen years I still contemplate those two dreadful swatches of winter and spring with undiminished horror. One was either sleeping, eating, prepping for a test or taking a test; and both sleeping and eating were curtailed in order to leave more time for prepping.

Once, halfway through the ordeal, a friend persuaded me to unwind by leaving campus and heading into Boston to spend the afternoon at the Museum of Fine Arts. Unfortunately, I was an art history major. Instead of losing my cares for a couple of hours in the loveliness, after fifteen minutes I had a panic attack in front of a Renoir and fled back to my books.

October has felt a bit like that. I was either traveling to something or from something; or packing something; or shipping something; or drawing something; or photographing something; or writing something; or signing something; or writing about traveling or packing or shipping or drawing or writing or signing.

Notice, among all those -ings, the absence of knitting.

Not that there wasn't any. It's just all been small and simple, and some of it (like the patterns for the next column in Knitty) I can't show you in advance or Amy Singer will get all huffy.

But I am heartily sick of not blogging about knitting. Today, although a gaggle of -ings has clustered around my ankles to scream for attention, I'm shutting them all in the bathroom so I can show you the latest sweater for Abigail.

The knitting itself is as plain as plain gets: Baby Pullover #214 from always-reliable Knitting Pure and Simple. Top-down, raglan sleeves, highly recommended without reservations. My only changes were to work a seed stitch collar and cuffs, instead of rolled stockinette.



The yarn, Lorna's Laces Shepherd Worsted in "Aslan," was pretty all by itself. But when the sweater was finished I wasn't happy with it. Handsome, sure. But dull. No dash. No surprise. A dish of ice cream with no cherry on top. Rock without roll. Mary-Kate without Ashley.

During my infrequent, unoccupied moments at home I'd pick it up and turn it over and squint at it, and then throw it back into the workbasket. I briefly considered slicing the front to make a cardigan with Fun Buttons, but I've had no time to shop around for Fun Buttons.

Then I opened one of the doors on the stash cupboard to hunt for something and three or four small balls of leftover Dream in Color from Abigail's Tulip Jacket fell out. The memory of a bird I'd seen pecking at a bush on Fremont Street knocked up against the memory of a embroidering the Baby Kimono, and a Eureka Moment ensued. (Passers-by in the street heard only a soft popping sound, but for me it was a great relief.)

I consulted briefly with my embroidery books, made a few preliminary sketches, and turned the pullover into "Bird and Berry."



One sleeve, the back, and the front all have the same sort of vine growing from the bottom up. It's just a feathered chain stitch with two-stitch "berries" sprouting at random.



On the front, one of the vines has a little brown bird perched on top, with a berry in its beak.



If you haven't tried embroidering on a piece of knitting, I highly recommend it. I liken it to working cables. For example:

• a well-chosen motif can add immensely to the success of a project;
• it's much simpler to do than it looks, given a little study and practice, and;
• to the uninitiated, it looks like magic, and you are not required to disillusion them.

By happy chance, there's an article by Pam Allen about embroidery for knitters in the new holiday gifts issue of Interweave Knits. (The same issue is absolutely crawling with Panopticon sheep, by the way.)

Little Book News

The hometown launch for It Itches happened on Sunday at Arcadia Knitting an oh, what a merry crowd. It was a charge to stand in the same spot where'd I'd seen Debbie Stoller and Stephanie Pearl-McPhee talk about their work, and read aloud from mine. I wanted to hug everybody who took the time to come say hello. I think I probably did hug about three-quarters of you. I'm turning into the Leo Buscaglia of knitting.

Word is that the book is hitting the store shelves and (finally) landing in the mailboxes of those who placed pre-orders back when it was nothing but a pile of crumpled, ink-stained paper with a terrified cartoonist in the middle.

I spotted it in the wild for the first time at the Borders on State Street, and because I am a shameless, sentimental geek I took a picture. Sue me.



Holy crap. Right there next to Louisa Harding. And me, just a simple girl from Kansas with a pair of tap shoes and a dream.

Meanwhile, several folks have been kind enough to write about it, including The Knitting Scholar, who gave me the royal treatment–an interview and a review. I've also chatted about it on "Ready, Set, Knit," the WEBS Podcast; and the KnitPicks Podcast.

Shop News

The Guys with Yarn 2009 Calendar is back in the Etsy shop, and a new batch of prints and gift enclosure cards will follow on Monday. The 2008 tree ornament and its ancestors are still available in the Cafe Press shop, where I'm hoping to launch new variations on the 1,000 Knitters bags and shirts this week.

The People on the Other Side of the Screen

It's not finished yet–the "hometown" launch party for It Itches is coming up this weekend at Arcadia Knitting*–but October 2008 has already felt like a carnival ride that combines in equal measure the thrills of a roller coaster, water slide, merry-go-round, haunted house and one of those gigantic swings that makes you fear you might throw up all over the person next to you.

It's not just because the book is out, though. I'm happy about that, of course. But the real excitement in October has been meeting the People on the Other Side of the Screen.

That's how I think of you, the folks who read what I write. Usually I'm here and you're there, and you can see me but for the most part I can't see you. Some of you leave comments, so I know you're around, but I've never actually heard you laugh–until now.

Way Down South

I was still buzzed from YarnCon a week later, when I headed down to Yarn Expressions in Huntsville, Alabama for the final 1,000 Knitters Project shooting day.

At the shop I discovered that as usual, a Certain Someone had preceded me. Indeed, she had established her party headquarters on the premises, apparently with owner Meg's full knowledge and permission.



Helen (Knitter 0982), Vice President of Propaganda, was responsible for the striking campaign posters, in which Dolores looks uncannily like Josef Stalin. Helen presented me with a rather striking piece of winter knitwear, which you can see in her blog post about the weekend. I intend to get a lot of wear out of it, especially if I have the chance to travel to Minnesota.

This being the South, every sort of hospitality had been arranged. We had appropriately spooky, Octoberish spider web cupcakes prepared by Alexandra, whose mother Jill (aka Knitter 0988) is part of the Yarn Expressions crew.



The 45 spaces had all been claimed in advance–and what a collection of beautiful, warm people filled them. They came from Alabama, they came from elsewhere in the south (including a wagonload from Muscle Shoals). They even came, in the form of two adventurous sisters, all the way from New Mexico.



The scarf isn't finished yet. A few more knitters and a few more rows are still to come, but all the spaces have been allotted. Knitter 1000 should bind off in November, and then I'll finally have the courage to measure this thing. I haven't done that yet. All I can tell you is that after Huntsville, it takes up about a quarter of my big suitcase.

Interlude

In between Hunstville and the New York Sheep and Wool Festival I packed and shipped orders for the Guys with Yarn calendar. It is presently out of stock but new copies will be available in the Etsy shop later today or tomorrow morning.

Over Yonder

Then it was time to go to Rhinebeck for the New York Sheep and Wool Festival to officially launch It Itches, and to see old friends–including QueerJoe, who spearheaded the incredible act of generosity that made my first trip to Rhinebeck possible.

Since childhood, I had dreamed of this day. In my dreams I was taller, thinner and hadn't just stepped in sheep droppings. Aside from that, however, reality surpassed imagination.

I had the good fortune to travel to the festival with my dear friend Carol, her friend and co-author (on the fantastic Knit So Fine) Laura, and the handsome Jim, a knitter who should have a calendar of his own next year called Jim with Yarn.

Carol's detailed account of the weekend may be found on her blog. I don't remember any of what she wrote about, but then I was preoccupied with trying not to do or say anything too stupid with so many people watching.

Carol and my sister, Susan, took pictures of the signing, and I'm glad they did because when we got to the fairgrounds I realized I'd brought my camera, but left my batteries and memory cards at the hotel.

First in line was a family group: Ravelry folks DonnaHaddad, her daughter-in-law ErickaJo, and her son MackDaddyHaddad. (Imagine, a family that can go to Rhinebeck together without having to drag anybody by the scruff of the neck.)



And look–I finally got to meet the lovely Knitnat, who founded the Dolores Devotees group in Ravelry.



Susan took a few pictures of me in the midst of the hubbub. I'm pleased with the way the Turn-a-Square hat looks paired with the Edo Scarf.

Upon request, I was happy to provide specific inscriptions.



The line got so long at one point that I'm pretty sure people must have been expecting somebody else at the end of it.



And guess who else was there?



My Exceptional Niece Abigail® arrived in grand estate, mother and grandmother in tow, to wish me well and meet the sheep. From the looks of this picture, the pleasure was mutual.

If she loves sheep...can yarn be far behind?

*Noon to 2 pm, with a reading at 1 p.m. Contact the shop if you'd like to reserve a copy.

PS. Note to reader SB, who gave me a beautiful card and gift–I would like to thank you properly, but it turns out I don't have any contact information for you. Please drop me an email, won't you? franklin at franklinhabit daht cahm.

Blazing a Trail

For a candidate whose party funds are low, particularly on the morning after dollar beer/quarter lap dance night at the Lucky Horseshoe, Dolores has been covering an awful lot of ground on her campaign tour.

Ajax, Ontario, Canada



Canadians won't be voting for the next president of the United States, but Dolores took advantage of a Netsaver fare to spread international goodwill on behalf of the party. "I just adore Canadians," she said during a roadside address to a crowd of three at a busy crossing in Ajax. "You're industrious, you're polite, you appreciate good wool and you put beer on your breakfast cereal. What's not to love?"

Sacramento, California



A loyal Fibertarian in the California capital snagged this shot of the candidate's motorcade as she prepared to tour the city and curry favor with the natives by tossing handfuls of Pall Mall cigarettes into the throng.

Indianapolis, Indiana



When Dolores paid a surprise call on a typical American family in the heart of the Heartland, their excitement was overwhelming.

Hong Kong, China



Understanding full well that China's emerging power is a force to be reckoned with, Dolores visited the nerve center of the country's economy. "If I were an American," said a local official, "this is the candidate I would support. She is head and shoulders above the crowd."

Sioux City, Iowa



Even her opponents admit that Dolores knows her way around the legal system. In Sioux City, she playfully ruled on several cases at the federal courthouse before the marshal managed to chew through the ropes and spoil the fun.

Cologne, Minnesota



During a visit to this charming corner of Minnesota, Dolores partied with her power base at Whistling Winds Farm.

Chicago, Illinois



During a whistle stop in her home city, Dolores garnered the endorsement of the powerful Future Knitters of America lobby.

Jacksonville, Florida



Although securing of world peace is way up there on the candidate's to-do list, she was proud to pose with this symbol of American military preparedness. "I want our men and women in uniform to know I am right behind them," said she said. "And I'm willing to get on top of them, too, if that's what they'd prefer."

Mountain Park, Georgia



When it comes to supporting environmentalism, even Al Gore has nothing on Dolores. Here, she communes with nature in one of Georgia's garden spots. "I take great pride," she said, "in noting that I, myself, am at least 80% biodegradable. Top that, McCain."

Tallahassee, Florida



At Really Knit Stuff, Dolores revealed her vision of the Local Yarn Store as the new backbone of America's economy. "In the nation we will create," she wrote, "there will be yarn on every corner, and a skein in every dye pot."

Austin, Texas



At Fibertarian Party stronghold The Knitting Nest, all stops were pulled out for a massive rally and all-night square dance. "Austin," said Dolores, "is the place I visit when I want to feel normal."

The University of Maine at Orono



The first of Dolores's many stadium appearances took place on the verdant grounds of the University of Maine at Orono. "I have a dream," said the candidate, gazing down upon the sea of eager students. "I have a dream, and you are part of it. At least, those of you who are at least 18 years of age are part of it. Eighteen is legal in Maine, right? Or is it sixteen?"

Portland, Oregon



In Portland, Dolores was abducted and briefly held captive in the back seat of a Volkswagen by a deranged fan before being rescued by police.

Casper, Wyoming



"This place," said Dolores, "really gives Austin a run for its money."

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania



Another capacity crowd greeted the candidate at Heinz Field. Really. They all showed up at once, right after this picture was taken. Honest.



Afterwards, one of the city's most eligible bachelors escorted Dolores to a scenic viewpoint and then she made the rest of us leave for half an hour.

Columbus, Ohio



Who better to put the "swing" in swing state? On the first day of early voting for Ohio elections, Ms. Van Hoofen gets as close as legally possible to a public polling place. (We are happy to report that her fine for trespassing on public greenery was later overturned.)

Juneau, Alaska



"She's right," said Dolores during a brief stop at the Alaska governor's mansion. "You really can see Russia from the front porch." The lady of the house was not at home, so our candidate left a gift for her on the steps. (It took four men with scrub brushes and bleach five hours to remove it.)

Gourock, Inverclyde; and Edinburgh, Scotland



"It has long been a commonplace," said Dolores, "that in Scotland, the men are strong and the sheep are nervous. I would like to think that during my visit those roles were reversed."



Falmouth, Kentucky



During an impromptu appearance at the Kentucky Wool Festival, Dolores scared the hell out of a spinner in the vendor market. "You would think," she said, "that he'd be accustomed to chicks like me hanging around him."

Brunswick, Ohio



Although she is primarily known as a musical genius and political visionary, Dolores ably stepped in to substitute teach Italian at this Ohio high school because she is a very cunning linguist.

Soquel, California



"What the hell is up with putting water on the bar?" said Dolores. "Freaking Californians."

Doha, Qatar



It's a long way to the Persian Gulf, but no distance is too great for our girl to travel when there are loyal Fibertarians to be met. They had cake!

Eugene, Oregon



A deeply sunburnt Dolores (it's very sunny in Qatar) joined supporters Meg (center) and Oliver (right) for a photo opportunity at the annual Eugene Memory Walk for the Alzheimer's Association of Oregon. Addressing the crowd, Dolores said, "This is a cause dear to my heart. You can't truly appreciate what a precious thing memory is unless you've blacked out as many times as I have."

Kansas City, Missouri



In a stunning display of largesse, Dolores posed with Fibertarian organizer Laura Gayle (left) and openly hostile Canadian blogger Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, aka Yarn Harlot. Pearl-McPhee, who (we repeat) is Canadian, famously questioned our beloved candidate's qualifications an episode of the popular Y Knit podcast. The two have since kissed and made up, although Pearl-McPhee (the Canadian) denies the kissing part.

And the Bleat Goes On...

The tour doesn't end until November 1, so if you'd like to host Dolores and be considered for the grand prize for best photo, check out this entry for details.

See You at Rhinebeck? Or Elsewhere?

The official launch of It Itches: A Stash of Knitting Cartoons is this weekend at the New York Sheep and Wool Festival! I'll be signing copies on Saturday from noon until at least 2 p.m. at the Carolina Homespun (yum!) booth (not in the author tent).

Some folks have been asking about a tour and/or book signings, and here's what I can tell you.

• As appearances are confirmed, they're added to the list here.
  
  
• I'll happily go anywhere I'm asked, if the proper arrangements can be made. Don't see your town on the list yet, but would like to? Recommend me to your guild or your favorite LYS. All they have to do is write to me at franklin at franklinhabit daht cahm and I'll happily send along my list of my offerings (talks, readings, classes, etc) and travel requirements.