A Few Choice Words from Seattle/Tacoma Airport

For the parents of the dozens of little children on spring break who keep sneezing and coughing on me.

Whatever I catch from those ill-bred little bastards, I hope you catch double.

For the man who "forgot about" the hacksaw blade in his carry-on bag.

Pray tell, what is the weather like on the planet from which you come?

For myself.

Putting knitting needles in your carry-on is rather pointless when you pack all your yarn in your checked bag.

For airport concessionaires.

Keep a couple pre-wound balls of Cascade 220 and a few pairs of size fives behind the counter, for knitters who aren't very bright in the morning. You could charge fifty bucks a ball. We'd pay it.