Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Celebrity Fashion Show

Here at the Panopticon, it's not just about knitting big things. We also knit small. And though we are not willing to go to the extreme of actually having a baby in order to knit baby things, when babies are in proximity we are only too pleased to knit for them.

Messieurs-dames, je vous présente an extremely short fashion show of modes des bébés in progress.

Lumière! Musique!

You know him best as the composer of La Bohème and Madama Butterfly. But just for today suave and sexy Giacomo "Three-Minute Aria" Puccini has hopped on the catwalk to show off an ensemble destined for a baby as yet unborn, but expected in January.

We think you'll agree, ladies and gentleman, that Giacomo is blessed with a hat face (not to mention a pair of cheekbones that Katharine Hepburn would have envied) and how better to set it off than with this snowy white, 100% acrylic cloche from Joelle Hoverson's Last Minute Knitted Gifts. A simple rolled brim adds an extra layer of warmth around the ears. A fetching bow at the forehead, made from I-cord, adds a certain je ne sais pas la plume de ma tante.

And Jack Frost won't have a chance to nip at Giacomo's pretty shoulders–not when they're covered up and cozy inside a scarf created in a zig-zag rib from Barbara Walker's A Treasury of Knitting Patterns. Only the finishing fringe is lacking to make this outfit complete.

Thank you, Giacomo.

And no fashion show on this blog would be complete without the Panopticon's answer to Heidi Klum. Ladies and gentlemen: give it up for Her Majesty Victoria, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, Queen, Defender of the Faith, Empress of India, and one hell of a good time when you get a little brandy in her.

Victoria is sporting another chapeau from Last Minute Knitted Gifts, the baby bonnet.

On the principle that what's good plain is better fancy, our version of the simple bonnet will include a strip of lace at the collar. We selected the "Doris" edging from Sharon Miller's peerless Heirloom Knitting (eternal thanks to Jean for being the person who alerted us to this book), as being a pattern easily memorized, fun to knit, and perfectly sized for a modest edging.

Victoria's bonnet, like Giacomo's ensemble, is knitted from absolutely the finest 100% snow white acrylic because, frankly, we know if the mother-to-be (a non-knitter) receives anything she has to hand-wash, she'll just throw it away.

We are also still trying to get rid of this gigantic ball of white acrylic that has turned out three hats and two scarves, not to mention several dozen lengths of "waste yarn" and a several stitch swatches, but which refuses to get any smaller.

Okay, darlings, I have to go. Apparently Victoria just chucked her cell phone at one of the hairdressers.



Anonymous said...

those are baby sized bits? lovely. i've always found that when i begin to knit baby things, someone will be nearby needing baby things.
beautiful !!
marie in texas

dpaste said...

Air kisses all around. Damn those paparazzi.

Carol said...

So long as they're not for that big-money donor of which you spoke...

Sneaksleep said...

Perhaps Elizabeth would have been more appreciative of the bonnet collar?

Unknown said...

What an extraordinary use of statuary. I'm most impressed with both the models and the knitting thereon.

Polite, white-gloved clapping all around.

And not to put the pressure on, but Knit-Blog friend, James (in New Zealand) has already sent my knitted Christmas gift.

Anonymous said...

Gawd, Frankin. You draw cartoons; work at a job; knit, knit, knit; post practically daily; have a life.

When do you sleep and get everything done?

Anonymous said...

Franklin, cher, I am always flabbergasted at how you get so much, well, color, out of white statues and white knitting.
Extraordinary, you are.
Gros bisous to you, too, bub.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, if I had Victoria's hairdo, I'd chuck my cellphone at the hairdressers, too. At least she can cover it fashionably until the baby wants the hat. Then all bets are off.

Better stock up on brandy, cheri...and check behind Victoria's pedestal. It's entirely possible she keeps replacing your diminishing ball of acrylic with a larger one just to freak you out.

bisoux :-)

goblinbox said...

That's a lotta knitting!

Yvonne said...

You never, ever cease to amaze me. An incredible use of statuary and a lovely display of hand knits. As Edna Mode would say, "Words are too much, Dahling..."

Happy days...


City Wiccan said...

That's hilarious . . . and the funny thing is that they look great on the statues! Well, the babies are very lucky to be getting clothes that are worn by such reputable individuals.

Jean said...

Franklin, it is you who should write a book, and I seriously hope you will. Illustrated, of course. The fashion show is brilliant, like all the Panopticon's efforts, but I don't envy you knitting with acrylic. I find that modern washing machines, and modern mothers, can deal well with washable wool.

Love, Jean

dan said...

Oh that lucky lucky Giacomo. I wish I could wear such lovely things. But, alas, I don't have the cheekbones for it. (Me and Kate). I can't wait to see his Spring collection. (the mind reels with the possibilities).
But seriously. You should post Giacomo's hat measurements so that others can contribute. We must assure that statuary stays warm!

Anonymous said...

Bravo! Bravissimo!!

And to quote old Vicky... "We are amused"

Crafty Andy said...

beautiful work, is all around and your models are fantastically petrified by the beauty the must endure.