Friday, April 01, 2011

Two Paths Diverged, I Chose the One with Tire Tracks

There comes a time in every man's life when he must stop and take stock.

I have done so. With regret I find that knitting just doesn't turn my crank the way it used to. Yarn is fine and dandy, don't get me wrong; but it can only take you so many places before you start to feel that you've seen all the sights and sent all the postcards.

The Panopticon will persist. However, I'll be shifting the focus from fiber arts to the new and consuming passion that rules my days: NASCAR.

Eye Candy

Screw Rhinebeck. See you at Talladega!

114 comments:

Sharripie said...

I hear that Tony Stewart knits, maybe y'all could talk about in on pit row?

Happy April Fools!

Jackie said...

Happy April Fool's Day to you too!

woollythinker said...

Heh. Nice try.

Leslie Shelor said...

Riiiight.....

Emma in France said...

Chortle

I think you may enjoy this:

http://www.winghamwoolwork.co.uk/giraffe1.php

mbarzilai said...

Don't mock! Some of us like knitting and NASCAR.

whirlybird said...

Maybe you could knit those poor nekkid women some clothing? Must be cold in the pit stops.

Dragons Knitting Lace said...

OOOHHHHH!!! Let's take up hunting too!!!

I knit a camo afghan once. :O

Happy April Fool's day! and Happy birthday to me! (no really, it is my birthday)

Corvi said...

I've MET you. Come on.

Katie K said...

Posing for yarn.

joyknits said...

Yah ... sure! ;o)

Nicole said...

Hot Dog! I can't wait to read all about your adventures in racing. Actually, I can wait. That is something my husband would read. I wanna read about yarn, patterns, knitting!

Happy April Fool's Day!

And happy birthday to Dragons Knitting Lace!

Amy said...

Those ladies look like they'd be happier if we crocheted them some hot pants, don't you think?

Liz said...

I know this is a joke but Franklin Does NASCAR would be so damn entertaining I'd still read. Besides, I LOVE NASCAR, man!

Denise said...

I'm really glad it's April 1st.

Merry Karma said...

Dude...you lost me at "I find that knitting just doesn't turn my crank the way it used to."

Happy April Fools!

Kate said...

Lol. How those buxom, vapid car models treating ya'? :-P

nanaknits said...

ROTFL! This totally made my day :)

Potato said...

And you just happened to post this on April Fool's Day, huh?
Sorry, not buying it.

Susan said...

I have already been taken this morning, nice try...first thing I did was look at the date.

Ken said...

And a happy April fool's day to you, too.

Lisa said...

Nice... Happy April Fool's!

Phatveggie said...

Good one! I had to look at the date that you posted.

Pixiewear said...

I don't know... I saw that photo and thought, knitted car cozy!

Leslie said...

oh Franklin! I can just see you at a NASCAR rally -- well, maybe if they had a knitters' night at the track with free circular needles.....

Happy April Fool!

Tini said...

I already envision you, sitting at a NASCAR Race trying to figure out how to knit a carcosy...
I think you are fooling us with that NASCAR thing, you are really into Formular 1!

Suzanne said...

Oh, dear heavens, I forgot what day it was and nearly had a mini stroke over my left eye while reading the first sentance. My breathing is now normal. Whew! You got me!

G. K. Green said...

Doris just wants you to knit a Ferrari out of sock yarn, doesn't she? What do Albert Einstein and Queen Elizabeth think of the idea? 8^)

meezermeowmy said...

Talladega is one of the most fun tracks to watch, tied for first with Bristol. Have a wonderful time (and don't forget sun screen)!

JelliDonut said...

Don't forget to smash the empty beer cans against your forehead.

Happy April Fools Day!

mary said...

LOL! Happy April Fool's Day to you too!

sue said...

Happy April Fool's Day to you too!!

SJ said...

For a moment, you had me concerned. And then I remembered what day it was. Thanks for the laugh.

la takahashi said...

LOL!

Psuke said...

I hate to the think what Dolores will get up to in a NASCAR pit. And make sure Harry's wrapped up against the grease!

stash haus said...

Once you put down your needles for NASCAR, if you feel the need for a little DIY, you can always make this: http://www.ehow.com/how_5021545_make-beer-can-hat.html

or take the easy way out and purchase one here: http://www.after5catalog.com/beer-hat-p-802.html

And if NASCAR begins to pale, you can wear them on your next jaunt to Wrigley Field.

Alwen said...

It was the stiletto heels that did it, wasn't it?

*sigh*

oneofestelles said...

Come to Charlotte and enjoy both -- Nascar Hall of Fame and 7 plus yarn shops.

does Danica knit?

Great April fool's!

janetcc said...

bull-oney

ashayne said...

Perfection!

Anonymous said...

Happy April Fool's Day to you too

Genevieve said...

It's your love of left hand turns, isn't it.

anne marie in philly said...

jeebus, DON'T DO THAT! bad franklin! ;-)

Moi said...

Uh, yeah, right...

SusieQ100 said...

You did your best, Franklin, for April Fool's Day, but nobodybelieved you!! We know you too well!

Heather said...

Thank you! You just made my day. :D

Deb G. said...

With all these changes going on... does that mean you'd date a girl now?

Hey, don't look at me like that! I live in hope.

beadslut said...

And you're changing your name to Ricky Bobby? Dolores will Need To Be Watched around those rear tire changers. Just sayin'.

Emm said...

Hah. In more ways than one.

Anonymous said...

I almost peed just now.

Michelle said...

Gross.

Melanie Gardner said...

Nice try. April fool's is actually supposed to FOOL someone.

Now, come back and post up some pink poncho...

Rogue Butterfly said...

Oh you, as if our dear Franklin would ever give up something that fits his classical personality as well as knitting does.

Knitkick said...

Go straight, turn left, go straight, turn left, go straight, turn left, etc.

Anonymous said...

By now, I should know better than to read your blog while sipping tea. My lovely Earl Grey narrowly escaped being sprayed all over my screen as I tried to laugh and swallow at the same time.

Not saying anything against NASCAR (my grandma loved it), but the day I hear that you seriously became a fan, I will take it as a sign of the Apocalypse.

Now, Dolores, on the other hand...I could so totally see her embracing life as a spandex-clad racing queen!!!!

Angela said...

Ummm, yeah....

danielle said...

Happy April Fools to you too!!!!

Anonymous said...

Um...knitting's loss is NASCAR's gain?

Laura

Cookie said...

Perhaps while there you can knit those young ladies some trousers.

Kimberly said...

Ha Ha! April Fool's to you.
I started to hyperventilate when I saw the picture. My first thought was Oh My! I never would have guessed.
Seriously as a knitter/spinner and a NASCAR Nut, I've had some incredible experiences at the tracks with needles, yarn and cute guys in fire suits.

Clara said...

Looks like you'll be hosting yourself a whole new kind of Stitch 'n' Bitch, mister.

knitalot3 said...

I almost fell for it. Nice job.

Janknitz said...

Where, oh where are you going to find a fire suit to fit Harry?

Happy April Fools day to you--you gave me a chuckle.

Linda said...

Maybe yarn shop ads with nearly naked babes rolling around in yarn?

ciproano said...

Oh, I would love to see a knitter's NASCAR...big stickers all over it from Malabrigo, Skacel, Madeline Tosh, WEBS. The models would be elegantly clad in lace shawls and fingerless mitts. At least the colors would be tasteful!

PICAdrienne said...

If you were giving up knitting for weaving, spinning, crochet I could have believed that, but NASCAR? That is going a bit too far. Happy April Fool's day!

T.T.J. said...

You're wonderful! Thanks & happy April fools day.

Small Town Knit Guy, Rusty Boyd said...

Maybe we could knit a car, is there a Rainbow Warrior colorway?

Orghlaith said...

Now THAT gave me a start.
And then a good chuckle.
Thanks.

Susan said...

Snort!

Carrie#K said...

Finally you've come to your senses.

Andrea said...

I guess the joke is on your international readers, aka, me.

In Argentina, it's "December's" Fools (12/28, actually).

There was some head scratching over here until I remembered the date... har har

Tonya said...

Dude! Not funny! Seriously! the girls are cute and all but something tells me they're not your type!

annie said...

This is the first time I've read your blog...found it on Knitty, first time there also. I am a beginning knitter and I have to say that my stomach actually dipped when I read your post after reading about you and lace! You got me for probably more seconds than the other people here! Only because I'm new.

Sandra said...

Oh so funny!! I love knitting and NASCAR but this was great

SarahSeattle said...

Well, at least we know it is the car...VBG

=Tamar said...

EZ used to knit on the back of the motorcycle... I love the idea of a Knitter's NASCAR.

Rabbitknitz said...

LOL! As if! (and goth sock yarn is STILL calling your name...)

FugueStateKnits said...

Who are you and what have you done with Franklin?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, that'll happen. About the same time Dolores is admitted to the DAR.

CatBookMom

helenkosings said...

I could TOTALLY see Dolores at a NASCAR event - much more so than you. I *might've* believed this if you'd had her lolling all over the car instead of the hoochies. Thanks for the gag.

KnitTech said...

That's almost funny.

Barbara said...

That was wierd and as I heard your voice reading your blog...it was sort of a nightmare. Wheww. April 1. OK...world is OK now.

Michelle said...

I love April Fool's day, don't you? (Besides, there's no law that a self-respecting gay man can't enjoy a fast car.....just sayin')

Syd said...

Coffee up my nose again! Happy April Fools Day to you too!

Lene said...

As if!

Laura said...

LOL, I think my new design, and your new passion collided yesterday... I can help you modify it for your new speed machine! http://nelkindesigns.blogspot.com/2011/04/mystery-kal-revealed.html

Denise L. said...

If anyone could induce me to follow a NASCAR blog, it would be you. And that's a pretty major compliment to your writing, believe me!

Ida said...

How about a NASCAR cozy (LOL)

merrilymarylee said...

Yeah, yeah... One of our young grandsons is a car nut, so my husband (who ISN'T a NASCAR enthusiast) took him and older grandson to the NASCAR museum this week. Older grandson isn't a fan either, as evidenced by the fact that the most interesting thing he found about the place was the exhibit that let him change a tire, pit stop style.

Oh yeah, I can SOOOO picture you there!

ali said...

Happy April Fools Day, Franklin.

Margaret said...

Can't wait to see you sport a mullet.

soxanne said...

How endearing; you're the only adult I know who would (and could and did) pull off an April Fool's Day joke.

Love you!

Anonymous said...

oh, love it! happy 4/1 to you, too, Franklin!

KnitSewFast said...

Here's your pattern...
Left turn
Left turn
Left turn
continue for 500 laps.

Liz said...

Snort...

dana said...

you do know that car is not a cup car, don't you?

Linda said...

Since I just read this on the 3rd, I am relieved to find it was an April Fool's joke. I was really starting to wonder! My comment was going to be "Really?!?!?!?!"

Anonymous said...

shocked then realized the date on your post...ha ha ha yarn is forever...

Janice in southeastern WI

Toni said...

I think Delores would like the change, I'm not so sure about Harry.

Thank goodness for comments, I wasn't able to read any posts from last Thursday till today so didn't even think to look at the posting date till I started reading the comments!

Ann said...

Oh this just caused a fit of giggles. Yah, I can see you becouming fascinated by a bunch of rednecks turning left...
My verification word is baste, should be lambaste.

Patti said...

You had me there for a minute...

Dr. Steph said...

Late to the party, but it doesn't matter because it's true...
My husband's cousins are so into Nascar that they named their children Talladega and Onondaga. Poor Grandma almost blushes when she says their names.

Elizabeth said...

I didn't get to this 'til April 4th...It's not nice to scare people like that! :-)

toni in florida said...

Is it a coincidence that my word-verification code is "antic"? Not a chance. Even Blogger is telling on you, Franklin!

jennifer said...

You almost gave me a heartattack...until I looked at the date. Jeez don't do that to a girl! :)

Kim Denise said...

my first visit to this blog was very nearly my last!

Denise D. said...

Franklin! Damn! You scared me for a minute there! Getting old and not keeping track of the calendar - darn wool fumes. Love you anyway.

Seanna Lea said...

April 1st is my wedding anniversary (people thought the wedding was a practical joke). I don't truck with NASCAR, but I might find it in my heart to forgive and read on if you were truly going that way!

Happy April Fool's!

Paula said...

Now, if you said you were moving to Paris to become a Bluebell girl - I would have believed you lol but nice try mister!

Beth said...

Franklin,
Thank you SO MUCH for the laugh! You've made procrastinating from writing my last History essay of the semester much more fun.

~Beth

PS: I saw your summer calendar. Why aren't you coming to Maryland Sheep & Wool Festival in 2 weeks?!

suriya said...

Great thoughts you got there, believe I may possibly try just some of it throughout my daily life

Tires Florida

nemuda said...

Marmaris Otelleri
good workds

sohbet said...

good supers sohbet