Sunday, March 13, 2011

Spinning Terms

...that sound like positions left out of the Kama Sutra, if you are in the proper frame of mind.
  • The Andean Bracelet
  • The Bottom Whorl
  • The Balkan Spindle
  • The Swan's Neck Hook
  • The Freestanding Distaff
  • The Spiralling Cop
  • Retting and Scutching
  • Thigh Rolling
  • Collapsible Maidens
Untitled

40 comments:

Ted said...

Once when I was at Easton Mountain I was explaining the parts of a spinning wheel to a guy , and other people in the room were killing themselves laughing. I'm sure they thought I was making it all up.

Elizabeth said...

Not even getting into the tried'n'true orifice jokes.

Alwen said...

When my dad and my uncle put my floor loom together, back when I was 16, they had to stop more than once because they were laughing at the names of the parts.

Raddle? Heddles? Apron?

I thought they'd hurt themselves before they were done.

Sam L said...

One of the great side-effects of being a fibers student is being in the pun-rich fibers environment for most of my classes. "I don't mean to be biased here, but .." "It's time to dye now." "You're not beating it hard enough." etc. I'm blanking on more, but there's several a class period, at least.

eyebehold said...

Come on, Franklin. Anything will sounds like it comes from the Kama Sutra if you're in the right frame of mind.

Sasha said...

I was just reading your post here, sitting in bed with my beloved beside me innocently reading his book. As I was chuckling to myself at the innuendo in your post, my sweet mentioned aloud a type of delicious honey... "prickly box"

Talk about laughing, with innuendo on the brain I was off - poor guy didn't know what had hit me all of a sudden!

Harpa Jónsdóttir said...

The Icelandic counterparts sound boringly chaste in comparison. Must be the cold or something.

Anna said...

I can overhear the spinning classes while I'm at work, and "shaft" and "orifice" set me off giggling every single time. I am 12.

Computer Mechanic said...

and there is the

"Orifice Hook"

uh.. let's not mention it

AgTigress said...

I think I shall have to go and look up 'retting' and 'scutching'. They will probably turn out to be disappointingly mundane. :-)

Gerri in St Paul said...

You got the tag right! However did you find the picture of the collapsible maiden? spinning wheel websites?

Marji said...

Interesting yet arginally disturbing photograph.

Seanna Lea said...

Retting and Scutching definitely sound dirty. The rest are definitely Kama Sutra materials (but not maybe pop up Kama Sutra).

Anonymous said...

Are the Collapsible Maidens from the ever-astounding, ever-avant-garde oeuvre of Russian Constructivism? They look it.

Rosi G. said...

Retting and Scutching: the after effects of a night out in a NYC club.

(Oh, sorry, I thought that said Retching and Scratching!!!)

Mimi said...

It reminds me of all those years of band practice. All the "tonguing", "fingering" and "positions"

anne marie in philly said...

heh heh heh; did you show these to dolores? I betcha SHE could come up with some raunchy puns to go with the terms!

Julia said...

I have to confess, I'm with Rosi G.: retting and scutching sounds like what the cat does when it has fleas, or hairballs, or something. Or else it's what you have to do when you pull a big tangle out of the middle of a center-pull ball...
But while we're with the innuendo, did you know that the word verification for this comment is "poonomat"? I'm not even going there.

Karen said...

Hells bells Franklin are you reading my mind? I have been knitting with some pink Cherry Tree Hill Possum Merino blend for the past two weeks and I'm making this project take much more time than it needs because it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much fun to say things like "I'm going home to play with my pink possum" or "My pink possum is so fluffy" or "Everyone wants to pet my pink possum". It sounds dirty but it's not.

Anonymous, too said...

They all sound too athletic compared to a Lazy Kate.

P.S.: Didn't you once date a Spinning Cop?

Kate Axtell said...

Wow, it turns out coffee doesn't taste very good through my nose. Who knew? I know I'm in touch with my inner spinning nerd when I found this list absolutely hilarious.

What about the mother-of-all? Can't leave that off the list, too. :)

meredith c said...

Love the label. My days of acid-dropping are long past, so I'm probably safe. thanks for the warning, and the laugh, anyways.

my word verification : "ecovit"

Rosemary Riveter said...

I unpacked my shiny new Ladybug wheel on Friday evening (first wheel!). I pointed out the names of all the bits to my non-spinning husband, who nodded sagely as I said "flyer, bobbin, mother-of-all, whorl, drive band, treadle..." Then I held up the little wire hook and said "orifice hook". He nearly snorted good wine all over me.

Laura said...

Love it. You need to post this list here: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/

And, even if you don't - it's just a good link for some giggles. Thanks for your great site! I always enjoy my visits.

Ellen said...

But if you are just on really strong black tea, think of them as the further adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

As in . . .

"Shelock Holmes and the missing Andean Bracelet."

"Sherlock Holmes and the mystery of the Collapsible Maidens."

"Sherlock Holmes and the adventure of the Swan's Neck Hook."

Dawn said...

Hmm...I thought The Freestanding Distaff was from The Canterbury Tales.

Anonymous said...

When I learned to spin in Sweden, the Swedes take it to a whole nuther level. The orifice hook was usually attached to a "doll" made of braided straw and was called a "Fra"sh pojke" or "oartiga dra"ng" either of which translate best as NAUGHTY BOY... guess where the hook stuck out at?????

Archyknitter said...

Back maiden...chuckle

FiberQat said...

You're missing the Long Draw and the Inchworm.

You sley me!

workwoman said...

In addition to being a long-time spinner, I was one of the in-house editors for Park Street Press's Danielou translation of the Kama Sutra, so you would think this would have occurred to me before...but the nuns of my childhood must have had more of an effect on my brain than I thought. I am laughing so hard at this post (and the other comments)! Thanks for another hysterical entry!

Sahara said...

Boy, am I glad my maiden hasn't collapsed yet!

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