Monday, November 01, 2010

An Animated Discussion

Halloween 2010 is but a memory–a hazy memory for some in this household. Between us and the gift-oriented holidays lies only the blip of Thanksgiving. Now dawns the sobering realization that we may already be too far behind to catch up.

I was talking about this with my therapist just last week. She suggested that I deal with my holiday angst in a constructive fashion by putting my heated inner dialogue down on paper so that I could properly analyze it. But I was out of paper, so instead I made an animated cartoon starring Albert Einstein and the Queen of England.

That will strike you as an odd coupling until I explain that whenever I experience a heated inner dialogue, that's who the voices in my head sound like. (Although sometimes instead of Einstein I hear Fanny Brice; but the animation Web site doesn't offer a Fanny Brice avatar.)

The result is that I still don't have my holiday knitting under control and I have to find a new therapist.

Anyway, here's the stupid cartoon.

159 comments:

Roggey said...

"That's Crazy Town" - LMFAO

kristi said...

Ah, once again, Franklin, you slay me! Both with your animation... and your patience with the compelling animator.

Sarah said...

Hahaha, I wish that I could fold this up and included it in every knitted gift I'm giving this year! The word of Vogue Knitting is sacrosanct.

Kim said...

Oh, good heavens! Yep, I think it's time to start worrying about you, dear! :-) That was absolutely hysterical!

Epenthetical said...

At least my husband told me outright that he wanted a black and bright green Space Invaders scarf. But I'm trying not to give unsolicited knit gifts because otherwise I'll go insane.

Katie K said...

Are there perhaps children in your life who would rather have toys? Just wondering. I bet funny drawings would work instead of knitting for the knitting-adverse. I may give artwork instead, myself. It certainly takes less time. Good luck as we move into the annual endgame.

KellyD said...

OMG you were eavesdropping in my last relationship. LOL Except he said "what's knitting?" we broke up soon after that.

rebkatz said...

That's WONDERFUL!!

Marji said...

It is extremely sad that that conversation is so entirely accurate.

ali said...

I had this same conversation with my BF&L. He's getting a shawl, dammit.

Marcy said...

You are so delightfully weird, Franklin. Glad you were out of paper.

WonderMike said...

We need to get Dolores in that animation....

xoxoxox

marianne said...

this is real life and crazy town!

Rox said...

This is the exact conversation I had with my husband regarding the socks I insisted on knitting for him, except that I'm not the Queen of England.

... said...

Doon Da-unt. Won't you take me to...
Doon Da-unt. ...Crazy Town!

Sarah W said...

I have a pair of socks on the needles (circulars . . . for speed, O irony) that kept getting . . .ah . . . re-prioritized.

They were for my Mom's birthday in June. I need to finish and wrap them by Thanksgiving so she can take them home with her. I may have to Nanosockmo to get these done, unless she'll settle for anklets.

(my inner arguments are voiced by Mae West and Basil Rathbone)

Sarah said...

Thanks for that. Best thing I've seen today. I watched it twice and emailed it to everyone who loves a knitter.

Cheryl said...

That's just beyond funny...thanks, I needed that! More! I want more!

RagdollDesigns said...

OMG! This is so close to the dialog (ok most of it is internal) that I have with my nephews.... but I have found the answer.

I just knit them both one of the great fish hats from Knitty - and they hated them. I said, "that's ok, have mom stop at the cancer center and you guys can donate them."

I'm looking at it this way - I knit them love - they didn't quiet feel it.... but they can pass that love on to someone else.

p.s. the Harry Potter scarves 2 years ago where a HUGE hit - I should have quit after that.

Jennifer said...

Hysterical. Thank you.

Raspberry Cat said...

This is beautiful, thank you.

M-H said...

Repeat after me: just because you can knit to show your love, you don't have to. There are other ways of showing love. Like listening to what people say they want. :)

Riin said...

You could probably knit roller skates if you had the right yarn.

Sarah said...

I love this. So very strange and so very true.

Jeanne said...

LOL! LOL! LOL! Thank you ♥

HL said...

As I sit here..knitting a Christmas scarf...and dying of the giggles :)

Anonymous said...

So will Einstein be able to trade up the orange - no, blue, no - GREEN cabled scarf for a pair of roller skates AFter Christmas? Prices will have dropped by then...

Thank you so much for this piece of hilarity in my grey day.

As much as I love it, along with the conversation of Harry and Dolores, I find your It Gets Better the most eloquent gift you could have given to those it will help.

Thank you for being You.

X O Irene in MI

Sherilyn said...

I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.

twinsetellen said...

Even got a laugh out of my knitting victim, I mean husband, with this one. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I sometimes wish I'd taken up stamp collecting too...

JenSmall said...

That was awesome. My husband sitting next to me was listening in spite of himself, and got an opportunity to roll his eyes too. The best line: "If you wanted me to knit you a cabled scarf, you should have told me in June"

Rebekah said...

I desperately needed a laugh today. Thank you so very much :D

FiberQat said...

That's when I'd say "Bugger all!" and send them a gift certificate to Amazon.com.

Too fun!

Kathy said...

Love it!
And the apple on the ground is a perfect detail.

Maren said...

saccuHoly bat snot...
did you just channel my mother?

SciFiTVFanGirl said...

That was just fantastic! Thank you so much!

Anne O'Nymous said...

How many kinds of brilliantly funny ARE you? I think I lost count somewhere after 6,000.

I suddenly want to knit someone a stamp.

Sharon said...

OMG, you made me laugh so hard! What a terrific cartoon. I must go tweet about it.

Tamara said...

I'm almost embarrassed to leave a comment...some of the comments are nearly as funny as this post was!
Thank you, one and all for the laughs...this is Crazy Town!

Abby said...

I am still laughing. Oh my goodness that was awesome. "Then Vogue Knitting is Crazy Town..." "...I am honor bound to hit you in the face"... "I wish you had taken up stamp collecting" priceless.

Lucy Neatby said...

Nice one Franklin! So true..

Janel Laidman said...

98 degrees on Christmas day, that's why I left southern California. That was quite hilarious Franklin, i'm now rooting around to find some green yarn with which to knit a cabled scarf...

Slip, Knit... Meditate said...

Sweetie....I really don't mind what you knit me for X-mas..... Anything is good..in any colour...any pattern..any yarn (but no acrylic please!!)..... as long as it is yours....and I won't complain..Promise.... And you have my address... so I am waiting patiently till X-mass arrives...

mandycharlie said...

That is very amusing, thank you so much, you gave me my first giggle of the day.

canknitian said...

Love (1000000)

Valerie said...

Gawd!! I'm married to Einstein!! And those conversations are not in my head...tho' I assert that I am not as difficult as Elizabeth

Ruth said...

I had EXACTLY this conversation with my teenage son yesterday afternoon, even going so far as to make him look at yarn online.

He ended up saying that he'd "probably" wear socks.

Kristina Knits said...

Franklin I haven't ever commented before but I love your blog and this post is exactly what I needed to brighten my morning. I was in a horribly bad mood until I saw this cartoon. Thanks for the laugh!!

HipDroppedStitches said...

Oh my goodness... I literally had to hold my hand over my mouth in order to not BURST into laughter in my cubicle... I'm not sure my co-workers would understand... brilliantly hilarious... (and I find myself grateful that My Honey has already asked for a hat... )

Winterhart said...

"Now dawns the sobering realization that we may already be too far behind to catch up."

I can't hear you! LalalalalaLALALALALALALALALALA.

Annie said...

Do you hear Fanny Brice, or Barbara Streisand as Fanny Brice...?

Keith said...

Okay.. that made me laugh!!! Thanks. BTW, are you sure you're not Jewish? I personally hear Fanny Brice (played by Babs) in my head allll the time ;-)

Miss Marty said...

Just wonderful and so true.

Anonymous said...

Just this morning I began contemplating selling my stamp collection so that I could buy more yarn.

Seanna Lea said...

That is super funny and oh so typical!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a typical phone call to my mother....scary.

LaurieM said...

Ahhhaaaahahahahaaa!

Stamp collecting! Hahaha!

How about rollerskate cozies?

quinn said...

Thank you SO much! I needed a laugh today, and now I am giggling. Giggling, I say!

(There is a carpenter working here. He is a crankypants with many powertools and an F in Communication Skills.
Now THAT is Crazy.Town.)

KarenJ said...

Would this have anything to do with a niece-sized pink poncho?

Anonymous said...

OMG - Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh - That was HILARIOUS!!!!!!

Samina said...

Very funny, but tou need more than a new therapist, Franklin.

Toni said...

Maybe you can crochet the roller skates? http://www.maggiescrochet.com/baby-bootie-boutique-p-484.html I'm sure you have time to modify the pattern to be bigger than booties, maybe convert it to knit instead of crochet, make them in-line rather than 4 wheelers, etc. That won't take long and I'm sure you can do it, you can do anything!!!!

kathy g said...

LOLOLOLOL!!!
Thank you for this, Franklin! I am reading it on 11/2, which is my 50th birthday, and I was determined to be a pissy, depressed crab all day long. You've managed to put the 2nd genuine smile on my face today (The 1st was from my kiddo, but that kinda doesn't count). Anyway, you are hysterical and I deeply appreciate your humor.

LoriAngela said...

I was just wondering, yesterday, if stamp collectors had trouble organizing their stash.

Perrin said...

OMG! that is hilarious, and oh so true

Amadore said...

WOW. That was hilarious...and I dont even want to think about holiday knitting.

Kathleen said...

Fabulous!!!

suse-the-slow-knitta said...

of course HMQ doesn't need to collect stamps, as her profile is on all of the Uk stamps anyway!

Lilibet, just buy Albie the rollerskates and knit something for yourself

Mary said...

I have learned to empty my bladder before reading your blog. This cartoon was a 10 on humor-thanks!

obsessmuch? said...

haaahhhaaaahhhaaaaa!!!!

Kallie said...

Absolutely hysterical! Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

what really scares me is that you seem to have perfectly captured my Mother's "special" brand of logic.

Cynthea G said...

You have overheard my conversations??

tinebeest said...

Ah, at least a funny cartoon with that program! That was hilarious, thank you!

Eileen said...

(Fanny Brice, too.)

It was (no pun intended) a habit already...but your blog is now Required Reading.

Karen in VA said...

Freaking hilarious!!!! I have stopped knitting (and handmaking anything else)for all family except my mom-she's the only one who appreciates the amount of time this takes....

NeedleTart said...

I ran the cartoon while DH was in the next room and he said, "Hey, I recognize that conversation." When did you visit?

Pretty Knitty said...

"THAT's IT!," I shouted to myself in my cubicle when I saw your cartoon. You do not need a therapist, Franklin. You are very normal!

MaryjoO said...

I have visions of Miss Piggy from the Muppets saying:

"Take that, Vogue Knitting" Hiiiiiiiii-ya! (karate chop).

dori said...

Loved it! Very clever!

Anonymous said...

Dude you are so funny. Really. Laugh out loud funny. Thank you.

Gail (nosenabook) said...

The computer voices are perfect for some kinds of dialog and you nailed it.
"Crazy town" indeed. snigger

Carolyn said...

You are awesome.

paisleyapron said...

My non-knitting husband said, "That is such woman." Thanks for the laughs. Hope you find a therapist that knits.

MerryBrown said...

OMG that is too true for words!

Pixiewear said...

oh my god. where's the ravelry love(1) button? Please stop - my head hurts from laughing.

Annie said...

I had this conversation with my newish BF this year:
"What would you like me to knit you for Christmas?"
"I... don't know? A squid hat!"
"What the hell is it with you guys and squid hats?"*
"I don't know sweetie. What do you want to knit me for Christmas?"
"We haven't been dating long enough for me to make you a sweater. How about socks?"
"Pants! Mohair pants!"
"There are easier ways for us to break up."

I'm making him a hat.

*My Ex also wanted a squid hat. He didn't get one either.

Peggy said...

Words fail me. But we are all grateful that they never seem to fail you! It is impossible to list your funniest entries, they seem to happen on a weekly basis, but this is way up there.

Alicia said...

Hilarious AND insightful!! How's that for multitasking! I just may be able to get my 3 simultaneous projects finished, if not on time, at least knowing I'm NOT alone. Thank you for making me laugh outloud, (LOL!!).

Judy G. said...

Liz and Albert? Hmmm. I can't imagine. He'd be far too old for her, and she's probably got someone who does her knitting for her. All that aside, I appreciated the laugh. If I have to work that hard to find out what to knit for someone else, I say forget it and start on something frivolous for me. At least I appreciate it.

Jenni said...

That's 10 pounds of awesome, right there.

Denise said...

Franklin, this is great! I can't see why any one intelligent enough to produce this kind of humor would need a therapist. Your money is better spent on yarn.

J. Kwiatkowski said...

This is my favorite thing of all week!

Pat said...

I wish I had seen this earlier today. I would have called in sick and stayed home to knit my green scarf with cables - which will NOT be done by Christmas.

Rooie said...

Too funny...

And to Riin, who said "You could probably knit roller skates if you had the right yarn."

I'm thinking that Habu yarn with the stainless steel...

The world's most expensive roller skates!

revl said...

spouse eavesdropped on Al and the Queen...this may be his first official chuckle at what he refers to as YarnP0rn...it's a slippery slope >:)

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. This is funny beyond all measure. Happy knitting.

Suzanne B said...

AWESOME!!!! I love it!

whimsymoon said...

i'm so glad you were out of paper! You're wonderfully brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Fraking hysterical.

Elle said...

I have been spewing with laughter for days now. I have watched this video over and over, sent it to my kids, husband, friends, extended family. It is spot-on perfect in so many ways. Thanks for some great comic relief.

MichaelaKnits said...

Hahahahaha! I love this!

Anonymous said...

That is wonderful! I love your commentary on everything, thank you!

Anne said...

Poor Einstein - I can relate. :/

Yvonne said...

Yes, Franklin. This makes perfect sense. I've had that same discussion in my head with my (adult) kids.

Dawn said...

Gotta keep coming back to this! I LOVE it! Crazy Town! hahahahahahaha

Shelda said...

Oh, Franklin, you are truly a treasure!

Gerri in St Paul said...

Wonderful!

In my house its, "I don't need a sweater; I have one." Sigh.

2ply on Ravelry said...

awww, poor Einstein - no roller skates. Very funny and also true...

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Thank you.

floatingink said...

Ohhh, I'm so glad I'm not the only one living in Crazy Town. Someday would you animate a conversation between Ben Franklin (Franklin, get it?) and Leonardo DaVinci? They've been my invisible friends for years, and Leonardo would look smashing in a mohair mobius, don't you think?

trixie-bacon said...

I don't think you need a therapist with your deep understanding of human relationships.

mollyweasley said...

I'm gonna try to knit me some roller skates.

Aimée said...

I'm going to knit me some roller skates!

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna learn how to leave comments...

catwoman5645 said...

I think I just peed my pants - that was wonderful. Thanks Franklin!

Rusty B. said...

Excellent cartoon. I feel the same way about my projects right now. I am not knitting any gifts for Christmas this year. Too many projects on my plate right now.

Cathy L said...

Too funny, too true! That's way I don't knit gifts for others.

Mya said...

I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time! Tears streaming down my face I said to my husband (who was watching it with me) "isn't that hilarious?" and he gave me a puzzled look and said " I think it's a knitter thing"

Katminder said...

Hardy Har Har! Reminded me of "Keeping Up Appearances"! Could've been Richard and Hyacinth! What a fun way to chat to yourself!

Gail (nosenabook) said...

If I had the means, I would be showing this "stupid cartoon" to random strangers on the street. It is so funny! But I have no fancy portable hardware so I am staying out of pokey for the nonce.

Jeanne in Nevada City said...

I love the cartoon - and thanks for the link to the tool. My son (a soph in hs) keeps on having English projects that require hours and hours of computer work - this is a great tool for "dramatic dialog" and it will make a fun presentation.

Moondancer5 said...

OMG, I'm crying here in the office I'm laughing so hard. I just made my husband the first item I ever knitted for him: a cashmere scarf, which he did not ask for, which was not ready in time for our anniversary in October, and which he insisted should be black, and I think I need to show him this video.

(But he loves it! Thank heavens he doesn't skate.)

You are the best!

Cris C. said...

Hilarous. And true. And awesome :)

Linda said...

That is soo funny!

Isabel said...

Where can we get your 2011 calendar? Amazon and Indigo.ca don't have any copies...

Thank you

CraftyGryphon said...

I'm sending the link to your animation to my husband. In hopes that he'll understand that size 15EEE kilt hose need more than six weeks to complete... (or that he'll think I'm not alone in my crazy; either is fine).

catmomnw said...

Oh my goodness..as I sit here with tears of laughter running down my face and all my close coworkers running over to make sure those strangled laughing sounds are not the signs of serious illness. Thank you Franklin.

StringGeek said...

That was hilarious. And holiday knitting is never under control. It is however on top of every surface it can find. Keep your chin up. :)

JJ said...

thank you.

kristo said...

Bwahahaha! I just about died laughing by then end of this!

Meg said...

sweet damn, that was amazing, I truly laughed out loud several times, i.e. vogue knitting, crazy town, cables in june....amazing.

Patty said...

Hilarious! So true! Bravo and thank you Franklin! I was lucky my sweetie agreed to the black cap with blue stripe I knitted him for Xmas a few years back. Luckily there were no cables involved.

Ray said...

This is JUST. WONDERFUL!!!!!

Sarah said...

I could not love this more.

Anonymous said...

This is a work of sheer genius.

Gabrielle said...

Absolutely fantastic and spot on!

jayayceeblog said...

Love it, love it, love it!!!

Anonymous said...

but the voice doesn't sound like the queen.
Funny though

Rosi G. said...

I asked you to stop peeking in my window and telling the world my business! I didn't want anyone to know I threatened to smack my husband! MEANIE!

Joyce said...

Too true! Sometimes we want to knit what we want to knit - regardless of what they want! It's actually kind of selfish in a weird kind of way. . .

Justyna said...

Love it!

AllyB said...

My IT guy friend at work and I laughed til we cried recounting the lines of this video. Thanks Franklin, for a great laugh!

Cherye said...

Franklin, please GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! I have been doing that (to everyone) since September. One difference though; I just decided to knit whatever I WANTED to give, not necessarily what THAT INDIVIDUAL would have chosen!!!

Snarkmeister said...

I *love* this. Please make more!

- Snarkmeister on Ravelry

Jill said...

This is brilliant!! I hope there are many more to come!

Cheryl said...

I have watched this at least 10 times and it never stops being funny. Thank you for sharing!! :)

Needles said...

Dear Franklin,

I think I love you and want to knit you roller skates.

Magenta said...

Hee hee ha ha lol lol! this is so funny arghhh! I just had an operation and think I may have burst my stitches!! ha haahahahha!...I;, going to wathc it again haahahhh!

Nilda said...

Give him/her/them a stamp....of a scarf and call it a day.

Amanda Haugland said...

I love you for this. Please remember that, while knitted gifts are an expression of love, not everyone needs them.

Albert Einstein is so practical. Also, Albert Einstein saying, "Vogue Knitting is Crazy Town" makes me fall over laughing. Thanks for that.

Heather said...

Oh, I just found your site and I am practically in tears over this one.

Magenta said...

I was in tears Heather...I even typed out the dialogue it made me laugh so much. I knitted an Orange scarf, found a Duplo/Lego character and added the printed dialogue and gave it as a Christmas present...I sent them the link previously so they saw the video. This made my year!

Tina W. said...

Oh no! What happened to the cartoon?!? I was trying to make a link to your post to make a friend laugh after a horrendous work day and >alas!<, it's gone.

You crack me up all the time with your posts!

Cheryl:) said...

"kindly chill out!" -- I am so glad I had a trash can handy to catch the tea I so delicately spit out when Einstein said that!

I love you and your crazy town imagination!

Mary said...

to avoid sad mental conversations like this, i do not craft gifts for my next of kin ... strangers, maybe!

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