.It's not every day you chance upon a Zimmermann in the wild. Moreover, I've attempted that pattern–which is a total hoot–but abandoned it because I realized the finished sweater was going to be too small for Abigail. This specimen appeared to be expertly executed in an intriguing, lustrous yarn.
Without realizing it, I must have stared a little too long.
"Can I help you?" It was the mother. Her tone could not be described as earnestly helpful.
"I'm sorry," I said, blushing. "I couldn't help noticing your baby's sweater. Elizabeth Zimmermann, right?"
"What?" She backed up a step.
"The sweater–it was designed by Elizabeth Zimmermann."
"What? No. It's not designer. Somebody made it for the baby. Some friend of my husband's gave to us."
"Oh, I see. So you're not the knitter."
"What? Why would I be a knitter? Look, why are you talking to me? Get away now."
She waved her cell phone in a marked manner. I decided the time was right to end our Meaningful Dialogue and head for home. I hadn't had breakfast yet, anyhow.
Must try to remember in future that the entire world does not knit; nor does it expect swarthy, bearded men in biker jackets to field-spot baby sweaters–not even famous baby sweaters.
Come Say Hello
I'm going to be signing copies of It Itches
at two different places around Chicago this weekend.On Friday evening from 6–9 p.m. I'll be at Loopy Yarns, where I'll also be signing prints (Loopy is now carrying a selection of them) and the new Loopy Yarns tote bags (which sport a drawing I created specially for the shop, available nowhere else).
And on Saturday from noon–2 p.m. I'll be at My Sister's Knits in Beverly (on the South Side).
98 comments:
Hopefully the mother will tell this story to the knitter, in some form or other, and the knitter will get a kick out of whatever interpretation the mother's imposed on your comment.
I almost spit my coffee out on that one Franklin. No, most women *don't* expect swarthy black leather jacket types to take an interest in the baby's sweater. Even if it is designer.
Has Delores sobered up, I mean, recovered, from her political loss yet?
I would be honored if you were to field ID the sweater my baby (who is in a sling right now) was wearing. Let's see, I have several I made myself, two of which are February sweaters, plus a Baby Mine sweater that was gifted to me.
Of course, I'm not in Chicago, so the chances of that happening are slim. But, just so you know. I'd be honored.
Hi Frankin,
I just received my copy of "It Itches" in the mail yesterday. I howled! The one sketch with the lady holding the knitting, the house in a shambles, exclaiming to her husband "It relaxes me, that's why!" Was sooooo on point. I am taking it to my knitting group tonight to show them! It is funny because sometimes the mildest thing you hear is "oops" or "uh-oh", or "ah crap" and which the entire group holds there breath. Sometimes the knitting is so tight the kneedles crack! Thanks for the laughs to come!
Unfortunately, there is not a knitter born every minute. But, my fingers are crossed for that blessed babe and her lovely start. I see needles and wool in her future!!
I agree with undeadgoat, I really hope the mother's story gets back to the knitter so she can be reassured that 1. Yes, it is a designer sweater among knitters and 2. No, the creepy man was not just trying to figure out how tasty her baby would be in a nice stew.
I'm looking forward to Dolores sharing the trials and tribulations of the election with us, once she recovers, that is. Maybe she can turn her efforts to convincing the soon-to-be first family to get a sheep instead of a dog for the girls? Of course if Dolores gets too close to the girls they might just end up opting for a sheepdog instead...
Wow. So strange. And that she weirded out at the suggestion that she might have knit it herself, I still can't wrap my brain around that. Besides, you're handsome not scary. What's the deal?
I kind of hope the knitter is a fan of yours and reads the story here first.
And I like it when swarthy men in biker jackets inspect my baby. And when football players full of machismo drop it for a minute and try to make the baby laugh. Hee.
Awesome, awesome story!! "Why would I be a knitter?" That's such a priceless-ly random thing for her to say.
Maybe someone else (who doesn't look so "threatening") will say the same thing to her, and it will all fall into place in her mind.
I'm teaching a handful of my coworkers the BSJ and one of them decided to use lion brand homespun with big needles!! IT'S HUGE! It's hilarious... a giant baby sweater.
There is a man at our church who wears the most amazing sweaters. It's really hard to convince my husband that I'm not staring at the amazing body under them.
Could be worse...I used to be a phlebotomist and I caught myself staring at people's veins like a vampire.
I feel sorry for the knitter, that the baby's mother doesn't truly appreciate the gift. "Some friend of my husband's gave to us." Yeah, she wouldn't get a hand-knit from me!
I like doing something that other people are insulted to think that someone thinks they might have done. It is the closest to naughty that a straight-o-potato like me can get.
I see you did not get my travel memo, yet again. You were supposed to be signing somewhere in the northern Chgo burbs on Fri early morning, and then somewhere in Milw on Sat or Sun when I could slip away from my conference. You could make this easy on me and just come to the Twin Cities-When I Am Home. Please.
Gerrie in StPaul
Ahh, that's too bad. As a plump motherly sort, I could have totally gotten away with those questions and probably could have felt the yarn and patted the baby too boot. It's just not fair.
I agree with Laurie - i would have done the same thing and probably gotten an entirely different reaction.
(I also found the FBS to knit up a bit on the small side as recommended.)
Also - patimer was my verification word - makes a fun name tho.
I'm with country mouse and hope that she has a knit-acquaintance who reads your blog/is a fan.
I bet when she received this gift, she wasn't appropriately appreciative either. I wouldn't have knit it for someone like this. You are not swarthy, you're rather cute.
i am a bit confused. you look like somebody who people would like to approach in the street. maybe it is the combo of strange men and babies (how sad). my niece was approached in a park by a group of americans who asked her who made her daughter's tomten. she timidly said my aunt. they said i could become rich if i published the design. she was too shy to tell everything she knew about zimmermann....
I agree with rudee and amy. It is so definitely the mother's loss to not have the faintest idea about the baby's sweater. Or you. I'm sorry you encountered such weirdness. Anyone who reads this blog would be honored to have you inquire about any knitted object you wanted to inquire about.
Congratulations on It Itches! I've just bought 2 copies, one for me and one for a co-worker. I hope you'll be on the NY Times bestseller list soon, just like the Harlot. Much success with this treasure!!
Yeah, maybe it's your blog, but you really don't seem that menacing to me.
oh my god. that is hilarious! "why are you talking to me!" man. i sure hope that sweater was knit with machine-washable yarn 'cause you KNOW someone like that wouldn't bother hand-washing.
feh.
That's hysterical! Next time you should kinear the offender. ;)
she truly does not appreciate the gift she was given.....
OH A BOOK SIGNING...I may be stalkerish and come in from the 'burbs!
that is a funny story. I hope she passes it on to the knitter.
I've been weirded out by comments from strangers but I can't imagine getting worked up when someone asks about a knitted garment. It's not like you were sizing up the baby for sale. I'm sorry you had such a strange encounter.
Love your story! I have frightened people in the wild doing the same thing! So I can assure you, that even harmless looking middle aged mom-types can cause alarm -- so you must have caused a red alert. lol. Swatting at you with the cell phone just completes the picture :) Begone sweater freak!
I recently sent off a matched pair of February baby and baby surprise sweaters in a variegated purple to new twins in Chicago. If you see them, I'm fairly sure their parents--even their way conservative looking, but actually not at all father--would be receptive to a chat.
but how neat to recognize the sweater!
At least the mother was using the hand knit sweater and not leaving it in a drawer.
I mourn the loss of the days when it was perfectly okay for a polite stranger to smile at a baby and engage their parent in neighborly conversation. . . Of course, as a rather large man, and a knitter, I am familiar with the the stink-eye look when I begin talking about knitting. Sometimes it is funny and sometimes not so much!
I'm with Tracey in Michigan. That would be divine!
"Why would I be a knitter?" - Because you're child enjoys fine knitted apparel, apparently?
"Look, why are you talking to me?" - You were the one who started talking to me first!
This is awesomely great. I'm sorry about Delores' loss. My sheep here on the homefront supported another candidate from your area...I won't mention who. (I caught him wearing a campaign sticker.)
I had much the same thing happen with a woman wearing a great scarf in a knitting shop - I said "oh, is that the River Stole?", she said "no, it's kidsilk something" and backed away. Turns out her friend knit it for her.
Let me just say - if you came up to me and were able to recognize anything I knit (still newbie here) - I'd kiss you! When thinking of this mother a phrase from the Bible comes to mind (Jesus to God) - "They know not what they do." Now, I'm not saying you're God, Franklin - but this mother obviously was clueless.
Oh and FYI - got my book in the mail yesterday along with my free tote for pre-ordering! SO AWESOME! I laughed all the way through the book!!!
"a Zimmerman in the wild..." I love it. I guess to the uneducated knitwear is not "designer" material.
OMG - that is the funniest story! I especially like that you spotted a Zimmerman in the wild. Good on you!
You're good spotting an EZ sweater. Are you going to be like those birdwatchers who get up at the crack of dark to go add to their lifetime list?
As Slappy Squirrel used to say, "Tactless, yet rude."
So how is Dolores taking her loss?
I'd be pretty happy to have a swarthy, bearded man in a biker jacket asking me about knitting.
I suppose that isn't everyone's idea of a welcome conversation...
Well I for one would be tickled pink if you approached me about a Zimmermann. (It would obviously signal your oh-so-fabulous taste!) And, um, that lady can just take a chill pill. 'Cause you're not there to look at HER, that's for sure!
Alison
Hi Franklin!
Oh boy that lady was a piece of work. Clearly she didn't get that even handknits are fabulous designer works.
You do know of course, that the February baby sweater can be made in any size?? Elizabeth Zimmermann gives us precious little information, except that at the beginning of the pattern, she says she casts on 50 stitches, and achieves a neck opening of 10 inches.
I guess as a lace knitter you're probably not into winging it too much but that's kinda what you have to do with this pattern. Make the neck opening the size that you want and then increase every so often til you get the width around the shoulders that you want. Use measurements from a sweater that you know will fit abigail as a guide, if that makes it easier.
Whatever number of stitches you get so that it will go around the two shoulders and chest, increase or decrease a little to get that multiple of seven (if you like the lace pattern used in the sweater, otherwise you really can use whatever pattern you want).
Sometimes, just using bigger yarn and bigger needles with the pattern as written will give you a nice toddler size (increasing the length for the sleeves and body of course).
Play with it... it's fun and a pretty quick knit. Elizabeth says in the pattern that babies do come in different sizes, so even your experiments would be bound to fit someone! I'm betting Abigail would look great in one and I think you should try again!
That poor lady may never know she had an encounter with greatness (that's you, Franklin). But you missed the perfect opportunity for that classic line: "Why, yes, I learned to knit in prison."
How sad that she got all defensive.
Perhaps you come off differently on the Streets of Chicago.. but I've never found you scary... more like approachable, if a tad shy.
My recent EZ sighting went more smoothly....Last week, as I was filling out the form to get my asthmatic daughter her flu shot -- I too spotted an E.Z. -- on a not quite big enough to be a toddler sized child.
I looked, and looked.... and finally asked the mom if she'd knit the sweater. she said yes...
I said "it looks remarkably like the Tomten jacket by Elizabeth Zimmerman" She replied "That's because it is the Tomten Jacket by Elizabeth Zimmerman."
Her husband, also there, was sporting a very nice sweater that might have been a Starmore cabled thing... He came up to me and told me that his wife had knit that too, but my chatting window had closed so I didn't find out what it was...
Knitspotting -- I love it! After our recent Fiber Twist event a couple of weeks ago I found myself near a woman wearing a familiar sweater. I said something like, "aha, the Penny Straker sweater," and she turned around and asked, "Oh, is THAT who designed it? I made it more than 20 years ago, and I'd forgotten." When she asked if I could ID the yarn, I was able to tell her it was probably Ballybrae (now long gone, of course), and we had a nice chat. But I'm not a swarthy leather jacket type....
People get weird for weird reasons. Motherly protectiveness is one of the least controllable ones. But how disappointing that your overture was truncated. I love talking to "new people" (i.e., strangers) and hate when I misjudge their receptiveness.
I would've been excited to see EZ "in the wild" too! lol.
Too bad the mama was apparently on a short fuse.
Golly, could she have been more ungracious? Ugh.
Of course the one big worry is how she is going to rear that child and teach it to interact with its fellow creatures. And whether it is going to stand any chance at all of growing up open minded and interested.
Ungracious or what! Mind you, it's probably her first child. First-time mothers can be a bit like that. Know I was occasionally!
Otherwise - you got a great blog entry from the encounter. So congratulations. & you never know, the Mom may just get to hear about this whole incident from here. Sure hope her Knitter does. "Friend of my husband's" indeed!
OMG! I just spewed my coffee all over my monitor! Franklin, I just adore you and your humor!
I once saw a newish baby at a parade wrapped in a beautiful lace knit shawl. I, too, stared a bit too long. Then I said to the mother "Someone loves that baby very much to put that time and energy into making something like that."
That got her. She lit up like a halloween pumpkin and told me all about her grandmother, who was the knitter.
Of course I'm a chubby, unthreatening white woman, so that could have helped :)
Too funny! I spotted a Kauni sweater at the farmers market last weekend. I gasped, my mouth flapped open and I frantically looked around for another knitter to share the excitement with. Then I realized the muggles didn't know--I was dumbfounded.
If she was that taken aback that you dared suggest that *she* might knit, I wonder how she would have reacted to the fact that *you* knit, and very well at that.
The things people get freaked out by never cease to amuse me. XD Thanks for sharing.
How rude! I might send my sister to see you at Iknit and you can question her about the handknits that I have made her all you like and I promise she won't wave her mobile at you. Did the mother really say that??
That is too funny. I recently accosted a man whose baby was wearing "blu" jeans (from knitty), made by his wife. I think he was quite frightened.
I completely understand :-)
A couple of years ago I was sood in the lunch queue behind a collegue who was wearing the most lucious, slighltly fluffy, soft cabled cream scarf. I was good. I resisted a quick feel. Instead I engaged said collegue in conversation by asking her " What a beautiful scarf! Is it Angora?"
"No!" she replied (greatly offended) "It's Ted Baker!"
Sigh.. If only we were all on the same wavelength.....
That baby story is hysterical!
Meanwhile had you noticed one of my kids in a hand-made sweater I would have jumped in your arms and insisted we run away (if only to the nearest cafe for a short time). But that's only if I could keep on my feet and continue breathing after seeing you in the real world.
Your admirer and knitter #6hundredandsomething,
Marianne
What can I say, some people deserve gifts from walmart...
honey, if I was approached by a swarthy black leather jacket I would not be chasing him away. This is another reason why I do not knit for just anyone - she does not appreciate the history her wee one is wearing.
Sorry but I had to laugh at that reminder that the non-knitting world has a whole other take on the idea of a man who notices knitted baby items. I'm sure it's no fun to be taken for a threat when you're just being friendly, though. The knitting world will just have to be extra friendly to make it up to you. I promise to do my part {hugs}.
Wow, maybe she should try decaf. Just a thought.
My husband was a stay-at-home dad--moderately-sized bearded guy. He got the evil eye from the suburban mommies every time he took our son to the playground. I imagine they thought he was a molester or something. It's a wonder no one ever called the police to report him.
He looked no more threatening that you--and you are obviously a sweetheart, even in leather.
Imagine what the Knitter of The Gift will think when this gets back to her. I would like to think that yes, I would be cautious of a dark swarthy man but if he's questioning me about the knitting, he can't be all that bad.....can he?
Do you think she knew you learned how to knit in prison???
Confess: You were wearing one of your "I learned to knit in prison" shirts and neglected to mention that in your story.
I know how you swarthy leather clad types operate. Mighty sneaky with the truth, we are.
this must be the best "knitter" story ever told!
Yes! Best Knitter story ever told!
I made that sweater for a grandbaby, & her mom looked at it wistfully & said, "I'd like to have something like that." So of course...I am math-challenged, & working that thing up in a size to fit her mom (in the same wool, which I thought was part of her attraction to it) gave me the vapors. But I did it.
I hope the story gets back to the knitter.
well,at least the woman put the sweater on the baby, so it was getting used. I don't think any of the little baby sweaters I have knit for family and friends have ever gotten any use... I'm not sure why, either I'm a totally crappy knitter and the stuff I knit winds up buried in the back yard when I'm not looking, or the parents of my little recipients just don't appreciate the time and effort and love put into knitting even wee knitwear. oh well... Glad to see you have crawled out from under the bed and are on the road again!
Your experience with the non-knitter reminds me of my own experience when I talked like a pirate on "Talk Like a Pirate Day" to a young man wearing a Jolly Roger t-shirt on the BART platform. He got away from the crazy lady with the pointy sticks as quickly as he possibly could.
AND, once I was making baby booties, and didn't know if they would fit. I saw a woman in the grocery store with a baby about the same size as the recipient to be, and so help me, what was I thinking, I actually asked this woman if I could see her baby's feet... I'm surprised she didn't call the security guard right then and there and have me arrested. She did look at me funny, but I whipped the booties out and QUICKLY explained that I just wanted to check them against real baby feet,and she was quite accomodating after that, but I still shudder that I actually asked that question of a complete stranger, with no preface!!
Humph -- If I make a sweater for a friend's baby, that friend knows enough about my knitting to at least be amused/flattered by a stranger inquiring about the knitted garment. Although the sweater may well have been from a _female_ friend of her husband's, with associated anxiety/lack of respect. (I did knit a hat for a friend's baby once, and got a thank-you note from the friend's wife that basically said "Oh, another hat. How nice." Last thing I knit for them.)
It's too bad. I always wonder if the recipient would be more interested in the piece if it had some kind of provenance attached to it. In some ways, I know it works for knitters. A lot of us like knowing that we are knitting yarn from a sheep named Shellie (not Doloroes, it would be too easy to get drunk from the yarn) or what not. Does that extend to non-knitters?
I have been lurking and couldn't resist a comment on this. A sad , sad thing.... that the woman doesn't knit. I have just taken it up and my sons are warming to the idea of learning. A great gift to pass on not just the knitwear, but also the knowledge.
*sigh* methinks if someone gave that woman the hope diamond, she'd say "oh, this? it's just some rock somebody found in a gravel pit."
alas, it is not up to us to save stupid people from themselves. as much as we want to...
Maybe it was her hormones. I remember well when my first child, who's now 27, was a baby. I was incredibly overprotective of him. I would have probably freaked, too; though I hope when you started talking about the knitting, I would have figured it out. Of course, I was a knitter even back then.
Wow, what a snotty response! We should all find out where she lives, knock on her door, and attack her with Silly String. By the way, i got my book last week - I absolutely love it!
Sounds like you ran across the cousin of the woman who told La Harlot that she was crocheting. What a poop.
And my word verification was the lead character in Shakespeare's long-lost manuscript about star-crossed knitters....Unatio
Oh dear, now I have a song stuck in my head:
"Pa-ra-noi-a will de-stroy ya!"
::Flailing head around, in a way sure to make all non-knitting mothers of small children flee::
Tracy in Qatar
That's hysterical! You are too funny! You know, you'd think she would GET it, right...? Anyway, you made my morning. Have to go walk now!!
Marsha
First of all, this is the first time that I have commented. Hello!
Second, my comment: It is too bad that the world is such a fearful place. Ideally, this woman would have reacted in a dramatically different way, beaming at your appreciation of her well-attired child, and looking forward to subsequently meet her knitting friend and complement HER on the choice of the EZ design.
Third, your blogs are a riot, your photos are excellent, your designs are inspiring, and I am sure glad that I found you on the Web. Thank you for sharing your talent, insights, and humor!!!
Darling, if you ever came up to me with my baby not only would I not shoo you away, I'd probably take the sweater off the baby just so you could look at the finishing. BTW, couldn't find VanHoofen on our local ballot so I had to write her in.
Franklin!
You're coming to London this week and I'm so excited! I remember you said that you studied Art History in college and as an MA student in Art History I must insist that you include a visit to the Courtauld during your stay. It's incredible. See you thursday!
I promise that if you field spot the Elizabeth Zimmerman Surprise Jacket that my mother knit for my new daughter, I won't wave my cell phone at you and tell you to get lost.
It's an ambition of mine to make a BSJ. I jut bought my first EZ book "Knitting Without Tears" and I just LOVE how she writes. Then I saw some photos in the Knitpicks community site where the jackets were made of really colorful homespun. They were downright lovely!
Even if I didn't know anything about the designer, I would at least smile if someone commented on my baby's fashions.
I'd be honored for you to spot my knitting in public and comment! I'm new to Chicago (recent transplant from Cali) and YOU, my dear Franklin, were one of my inspirations for coming. Er...I mean YOUR BLOG got me all hyped up to live in Chicago! I've been reading you for a couple of years and can't wait to run into you at some local knitting gala and introduce myself. And now the bad news? I left my Zimmerman knitting books in cali and thus cannot make neither the February sweater nor the Surprise jacket. Alas, any other pattern suggestions for a baby sweater out of the Lorna's lace Lion and Lamb I bought on sale at Loopy Yarns this week? Thanks...and thanks for brightening many a day with your wit. Marianne
Clueless, she is clueless.
While agreeing with all the comments, I laughed the hardest at anonymous at 12:01 am...
I have knit Penny Straker's John's Gurnsey in Ballybrae no less than four times in my life. I still get compliments on mine.
Carry on with all things knitting, including approaching strangers wtih babies.
Boy, she was a little harsh! A few weeks ago I was standing waiting for the walk lite at the cross walk. I thought I was having a conversation with a woman that lives nearby with a baby. Next thing I know she's practically running like I'm someone she saw on Friday's Most Wanted. I rewound the conv in my head and saw nothing offensive...maybe it's new mother hormones?
That woman must be really sleep deprived.
Too bad, it's a lot of attitude to carry around with her all of the time.
You didn't do anything wrong ...
Lisa in Toronto
Bookspotting! I just had to tell you that I spotted a copy of your book "in the wild" today. Several, actually: the Borders in Knoxville had four on the shelves.
...now they have three.
Yikes! I guess I have yet another reason I love the moderately large city in which I live --- something like that would *never* happen in Portland. Hopefully the mother doesn't rub off on the baby.
Well, how did you expect her to respond to someone who learned to knit in prison?
Oy. Some of the nicest comments I've ever heard in the wild have been from swarthy bearded men in biker's jackets (just don't tell DH, okay? ;-)). Actually, it's true. (Nice comments. Really!)
So Dolores is still sulking? Wait till she realizes she's missing a cruise. Maybe she'll rethink her position on the cabinet appointment.
Franklin, it's obvious that I will have to go buy my copy of "It Itches" at a local store, and unsigned. Unless I can somehow manage to get to Old Blighty...
*cough* New England *cough*
I'm pretty sure it was the "swarthy, bearded men in biker jackets" bit that threw her.
Hysterical!
I got the same reaction when I saw the baby in the next check out line was wearing a bsj ... and I'm a middle aged, could stand to lose 20 lbs, sweat shirt with coffee spilled on the sleeve kind of person. Some moms are just like that.
Unfortunately, there is not a knitter born every minute. But, my fingers are crossed for that blessed babe and her lovely start. I see needles and wool in her future!!
nice post love reading it.
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