Monday, September 29, 2008

A Thousand Points of Light?

CandidateGood morning, ladies and gentlemen:

In the wake of a landslide of support for a Dolores Van Hoofen campaign tour, extending even unto Europe and Asia, we at Fibertarian Party headquarters spent the weekend preparing a plan that will allow as many people as possible to take part in this grass roots effort. We envision a thousand points of light, although in this case the light in question is the glowing end of a Pall Mall filter-tip.

In the space of 24 hours, nearly four hundred (!) potential hosts from 47 states and four foreign countries asked for the opportunity to show our candidate their part of the globe. And if you know Dolores, you know she enjoys nothing more than the chance to spread herself around.

Therefore, rather than travel via postal service as was initially planned–which would have limited us to a maximum of 20-30 stops before election day–we have decided instead to harness the power of the Internet to achieve omnipresence. Wherever you want Dolores, faithful Fibertarians, Dolores shall be.

Here is how this is going to work. Please read carefully before you do anything else.
  1. Two versions of Dolores will be available in PDF format via download. One is in gorgeous living color, the other is in black-and-white so that you can dress her to suit your needs.

  2. To join the campaign tour, print out your Dolores of choice. Decorate (if you like) and trim her to size. Take her to wherever you feel she'll make an impact and photograph her.
    She can be alone, surrounded by the faithful, whatever you choose–you're the tour manager. Select one (1) image to represent your stop on the tour.

  3. While Dolores is not above tweaking the noses (or whatever body part is within reach) of the mainstream candidates, this tour is about celebrating the Fibertarians–not hurling insults at anybody. Everyone is welcome in our tent, so set up your picture accordingly.

  4. When you send your photograph to franklin at franklinhabit daht cahm, please include all of the following:
    • the name(s) of the host(s) as you would wish them to appear on this Web site,
    • the location (city, state, country) where the photo was made,
    • any fun details about the tour stop that you wish to share, and
    • a mailing address for your tour host button(s) to be sent to.

  5. The first 30 hosts to submit an entry that meets the criteria will receive an exclusive Campaign Tour button that will not be made available through the online shop. To keep this fair, the maximum number of hosts per stop is two, so no fair piling thirty members of your knitting group into the photo and trying to claim all the buttons.

  6. There can be more than one stop in a state, city, or town, so don't worry about whether somebody in yours has already sent in a photograph. (If you live in Portland, Oregon, this is extremely likely, as there were eleven requests from the within the city limits alone.)

  7. Remember: one photo per host or pair of hosts. If you send more than one, the review committee will simply disregard all but the first.

  8. After the end of the tour, 1 November 2008, all entries–not just the first thirty–will be considered for a grand prize (to be determined) and two dishonorable (hey, this is Dolores we're talking about) mentions.

  9. By submitting your picture, you authorize its use at no cost on this blog and wherever else the campaign or the candidate might be publicized.

  10. And finally, in downloading Dolores you agree to use her only for the contest; the images aren't for reproduction and distribution for any other reason.
Should you require buttons, signs or other accoutrements, they are available here.

Now, hide the children, lock up the booze, and go get her.

30 comments:

LittleWit said...

Thanks! This should be fun. :) Now to pick a good tour stop.

Jeremy said...

Seriously, Franklin, you are completely made of Awesome.

meezermeowmy said...

Rule No. 5: ah, Franklin, you've learned to think like a crafty knitter! That's what comes of having to interpret vague patterns - we learn to interpret rules, too.

Jami said...

Absolutely Frikin-tabulous! :D

Lori said...

You should do a coloring contest with the B&W one. We've downloaded both and are already scheming, er.. planning.

Yvonne said...

I agree with Jeremy. I am excited about Dolores' "visit".

Abigail said...

Whoopie! Dolores in Key West!

OMG, I think I'll faint!

Do you think she would like to visit the southern most point?

I would be most pleased to bring her to the bouy.

Chelsea the Yarngeek said...

The million dollar question is where to take her first! To the winery? To the brewery? It's so hard to decide! :D

Tsarina of Tsocks said...

Franklin, you are a sick genius and I heart you for it.

Dolores is on her way to my decrepit yacht even as we type.

Aidan said...

I think Dolores could benefit from highlighting her international experience. She practically invented the term "foreign service". And if you count that weekend with the merchant marines on shore leave, she's got military experience, too. Lots.

JoVE said...

I am impressed with your ability to organize this campaign. I suspect there are political parties out there that could use this kind of skill...

Marge C said...

Where should we send entries? Or did I miss that instruction?

Patti said...

I can't make any promises, but I'm in Athens Greece, I'll try to get Delores out for a bit of a walkabout before I leave.

Kim said...

This was fun - Dolores made a stop here! I've already sent the photographic proof... :-)

brandilion said...

What is the deadline? I'm not in a rush to get a button or anything, but it will take me a while to get my photo in... It would be totally sweet and worth it though :)

Anonymous said...

Franklin, you are a very brave man.
I hope you have no plans for the next month other than reviewing your email.

Long live the Fibertarian Party!! (and Dolores)(and Harry)

Anonymous said...

Oh my, this is the first time in thirty-somthing years that I regret not living in my home town, because the world wants to know: How does Dolores play in Peoria.

Surely there's someone from Peoria out there who will show Dolores around town?

Maureen

Sandy said...

Bless your heart Franklin. We in Oregon do love our Dolores. Salem, Oregon representing!

Bwa-haa-haa: this should be fun! Where to go, what to do...must plan.....

Gail said...

I've been so busy with the crayons I forgot to post a grateful comment. When this Dolores is done with her campaigning, she will have an honored place on my wall. Suitably framed, of course.

Kirk said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Patti said...

ubfortunately the printer at the place I'm staying is on the blink, so I was unable to take Delores into Athens with me today. I'm sorely disappointed as was Delores. I will however keep trying till I leave on Friday.

alittlequacky said...

As soon as I get new ink for the printer (and finish moving) I have the perfect tour stop in ind! Even know the perfect day!

2 q's, when does this need to be in by, and does the host have to be in the picture??

Flavaknits said...

Hope she doesn't mind a little trip to the windy west coast of Scotland - we have lots of handsome Rams here! hehehehe!

Pat Kight said...

Dear Dolores,

Not to distract from your campaign, but while attending Oregon Flock & Fiber last weekend, I spotted something that might be of interest to you:

http://flickr.com/photos/kightp/2896827963/

Angela said...

So...can we use Photoshop to put her in a picture we took or do we actually need to get a pic of her decorated self? I am assuming the later, but the first could be super fun. I may just do both.

kathryn said...

I see the ground troops have already begun the campaign:
Half-Breed Muslin

Tsarina of Tsocks said...

Not my official entry, but I thought you might enjoy an informal candidate portrait we took today in another good cause.

thecrazysheeplady said...

Dolores made a stop at the Kentucky Sheep and Wool Festival this past weekend. She was as much fun as we suspected she'd be. Pictures and story posted at http://myfavoritesheep.blogspot.com/2008/10/got-wool.html if anyone is interested.

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