Thursday, June 12, 2008

Toronto Packing List

Packing for Toronto

  1. Camera. Would be difficult to photograph 120 knitters for 1000 Knitters Project without camera.

  2. Scarf. Would be difficult to photograph 120 knitters working on scarf without scarf.

  3. Yarn. For raffle at Lettuce Knit. Am sure there is already plenty of yarn in Canada, but have impression they are always happy to get more.

  4. Other raffle prizes. Not yarn, but still pretty cute.

  5. Moose repellent.

  6. Lyric sheet for "O, Canada." In case of impromptu sing-along.

  7. Bag of extra u's. For use in "honour," "colour," etc. Natives apparently sensitive about this.

  8. American-Canadian dictionary with metric converter and supplement on proper usage of "Eh?". In case am suddenly separated from guide and must speak unassisted to locals about curling, back bacon, or toques.

  9. Hockey skates.

  10. Passport. May help if American border guards balk at permitting re-entry of Arab Democrat hippie homo yarn smuggler.

  11. Stephanie's birthday present. Don't forget livestock certificate.

70 comments:

Anna-Liza said...

You are more prepared than your average Boy Scout. Have fun! And if you need someone to vouch for you at the border, I'm sure any of us would be glad to do it.

Stacey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stacey said...

Oops. Take two...

I just found your blog via The Yarn Harlot and I've been reading it for the past hour catching up with you and the fabulous Delores.

Your cartoons are killing me! I must buy your book!

Loving this!

Cindy said...

It is going to be a wild time and I can't wait to hear all about it. Steph's camera is broke so hope you can get some of those candid shots... like maybe "the stock" in her teeth after a few beers! Cheers and be safe .. those Ca-na-da people are a tough bunch.

TheJenmeister said...

Have a fabulous time! If you can't get back into our stupid country, let us know and we'll get your life shipped to you in Toronto! I'm sure Canada would love to keep you--even though we Yanks would be sad to lose you.

Looking forward to Dolores and Harry's (and your) Canadian adventures. :)

Sandy said...

Oh Franklin! Promise us we will get updates of Delores at the Harlot's birthday party! Please! Is Canada big enough for Delores AND The Harlot???

I'm dying to know.

Katie K said...

Very very funny. Have a wonderful time.

fiberfairyshaven said...

ad 7 well, the "moosequitos" surely must be big this year.LOL. :)

Ellen said...

I have been living in Canada (west coast) for 7 years and when I read toque I thought it looked funny. It turns out you can spell it touque and toque. Thanks, Franklin!
Oh, I do not think you need to worry about a moose in Toronto, but they have fierce squirrels there. Have fun!

Kathy Merrick said...

Franklin, wee laddie, I am crazy about you, hen.
Have a smashing time.
Love to Stephanie. It's been years...

=Tamar said...

Don't be so sure about the moose not walking into Toronto. Moose go anywhere they please, and they've been known to walk into cities.

Photos? I'm looking forward to the drawings!

Anonymous said...

Franklin,

I'm going to offer you a little bit of translation in advance (you know, just in case you can't put your hands on that American-Canadian dictionary in time):

Timmie's = Tim Horton's (where we Canucks get our coffee - as a society, we practically live there). Our answer to Starbucks (minus the gourmet coffee) - there's literally one on every street corner. If you need a washroom, don't ask for a washroom, ask for directions to the nearest Timmie's. We always seem to know where THAT is.

The States = America. Don't call your country America if you want us to understand you. Seriously, you'll probably get some blank stares if you say that. At least you would in my crowd. It's "The States" or "The US". Period.

Poutine (pooh-teen) = a really disgustingly delicious dish of hot fries, sprinkled with squeaky cheese and smothered in gravy (side order of ketchup optional). Quebec invented it and the rest of us worship at the alter of their culinary genius. Note: if you don't know squeaky cheese, ask Stephanie - she'll tell you AAALLL about it.

"Sorry" and "Thank you" = these words are perhaps known to you in the US, and you may feel that you don't hear them enough, but I can pretty much guarantee that you'll hear these words non-stop the whole time you're here. Some places are worse than others, but as a whole, we do tend to live up to our nerdy reputation of being "too polite".

Bug dope = mosquito repellent. Franklin, if you dare leave the confines (er, I mean city limits) or Toronto, please swear here and now that you will bring some repellent. You are too important to us and we don't want to lose you to our resident vampires.

And finally, if you are driving, please remember that when you see a sign saying: "100 km/h MAXIMUM", this translates to roughly 60mph, NOT 100mph. Although, if you're in Toronto, they probably ARE driving that fast anyway, but just be safe, k?

Oh, and if they won't let you back into the States, I'm sure SOMEONE will adopt you (Hands off Ladies, I call DIBS!! And no, my husband will NOT mind!)

Have a fantabulous time, Franklin!!

Danielle in PEI

jacquieblackman said...

Looking forward to meeting you and being a part of the project!

And as an American living in Canada (at least for a short while longer) I'll be willing to translate in an emergency. I think my American is still good. ;-)

Lynn said...

Livestock? You're giving Dolores to Steph?! No fair! I get Dolores! I'm older than Stephanie, I get first pick! Besides, I doubt very much if Dolores could pass Canadian Agricultural Customs (you know, those wild nights down at the waterfront...well, we won't talk about it anymore).

Damn, I wish I were going to be there.

Beth said...

Just remember: Canadians are the Australians of North America. Mellow, unbelievably friendly, and they love a party. And be happy you're going to the English speaking part. High school French doesn't seem to apply when confronted with a Quebecois accent! Enjoy!!

Menopausal Death Crone said...

OMG I vote Franklin for best useage of the phrase Arab Democrat hippie homo yarn smuggler.

Rudee said...

You can't go wrong throwing in dudes here and there as in "dudes, you throw a totally great party."

If I hadn't been scheduled to work, I'd drive from Detroit to knit on that scarf. Totally.

Also, if you voice your opinion about CBC dropping the Hockey Night in Canada theme song, you are bound to stir up a hornets nest. I think that this particular song is probably more popular than O! Canada. Just a couple of conversational ideas.

indigodragonfly said...

"Eh"'s not as important as learning how to say "out and about" in a way that will ensure they won't let you back over the border. Also "sorry", not "sahry" will help you blend in. And not getting upset when pop (soda) machines won't take American money...

Misstea said...

I hope your lyric sheet for 'O Canada' is in English and French. We switch mid-way through, now.

Have fun! I wish I could be there, but I'm writing an exam, and then having WWKIP with my own peeps.

Jane in Michigan said...

Toronto is a wonderful city, and you should have a great time.
Just remember this part: "Oh, Canada, we stand on guard for thee" and you should be fine. It's repeated in the anthem, so hum along (it's easier than our throat tearing one) and sing the above a couple times when appropriate.
No disrespect, Oh, Canadians. Living just across the border, we get to hear your national anthem at least a couple times a year, and I think it is a lovely piece of music.
I think that Dolores really will bear watching. I would hate to read about some terrible diplomatic incident related to a somewhat undiplomatic sheep.
Have a great time!

Leslie said...

I wish you luck on being detained on the re-entry - I would give my eye teeth to live in Canada but due to ill health I won't pass the immigration screening. Just remember it's oot and aboot for out and about, Timmie's for cawfee and restrooms and you already know about the "u"s.

Love Harry's Canadian outfit by the way.

DianeS said...

Still trying to decide if there's a run across the border in my near future. If I can find a reasonably-priced hotel, it's a possibility. Enjoy your stay, we've always enjoyed TO (winter or summer).

Stephanie said...

Safe travels :) can't wait til you get back and share the stories! Wish Stephanie a happy birthday from the rest of us :D

Mel said...

I pity my poor colleague who had to sign off on that health cert. Bon voyage and bonne chance!

Riin said...

So...what exactly is in moose repellent?

Bobbi said...

Have another great weekend!

deirdre said...

Oh, I am so, so sorry I won't be one of the many Canadians there to greet you and help you acclimatize to our country... maybe next time, 'eh'?

CanadianChick in Vancouver said...

Delores does know that there's very little public smoking in Toronto, right??

I hope they let her across the border - Toronto could use a dash of Delores!

Teyani said...

thank you for an amazingly great laugh tonight :-)
safe journeys - and a big "wish I was there" from all your american knitting friends!

Dollymop said...

You must try poutine. Perhaps not as good in Toronto as it would be in Quebec, but whatever.

I look forward to the party Saturday! Beer and yarn, what could possibly go wrong?

kellym said...

I can't wait for Saturday! Are we allowed to take your picture? Is Harry camera-shy? Don't think I need to ask about Dolores...

FiberQat said...

Don't forget the squeaky cheese for the poutine!

shyknitter said...

I am so excited to meet Delores, is the moose repellent for her? Harry looks so cute in his outfit....hate to tell him it is going to be far too warm ice hockey type activity. But maybe he can get a street game together.

Very excited to meet all three of you on Saturday!!

Danny Ouellette said...

Have a safe trip Franklin!

I'm looking forward to meeting you and having my picture taken. I'll be there late in the day.

It's the Denny and Delores show. said...

Plans for Delores and Denny:

My 11 year old boy is giving his end of year ballet recital.I've arranged for Delores to help back stage with costumes.(she can be trusted around half naked small boys,eh)

Then it's off to the spa for Delores and I.
We will "do the waters" at the H2O spa. I've arranged for our very own towel boy. The one who doesn't mind
the odd flick with a wet towel, keeps him on his toes.
Then it's happy hour and the "top secret" party. crap. I just blew the surprise. Oh well ta ta for now.

Linda said...

Franklin, while you're at Lettuce Knit you may have a tough time choosing between the beer across the street or the coffee a couple doors west at Ideal. (Yeah, Tim's is the big chain, but Ideal's coffee is lucious!)

A friend and I were just in TO about a month ago and visited many of the yarn shops. If you're looking for tips on some great places for coffee and eats check here and here.

Oh, and about the poutine...don't feel like you have to like it or even try it. I lived in Toronto for almost 2 years and could never get into fries with gravy at all, much less with gravy and cheese. (Although with white vinegar, they're surprisingly good.) However, if you get a chance try a butter tart. OMG...they do those *really* well. And scones. *Real* scones...YUM!

Alwen said...

And if you come across a Chinese restaurant called The House of Gene, for pity's sake don't eat there!

Sharon Rose said...

Butter tart? That sounds like something the Harlot would know about. Er, aboot.

Rachel H said...

I would like to adopt Harry, please. My son is always looking for someone to play hockey with.

Elizabeth said...

Don't forget to practice your Canadian accent! It's all in the a's and o's.

(I have a thick one. I'm not even from Canada. Within 30 minutes of crossing the border I sound like a local.)

Janet in Seattle said...

"Arab Democrat hippie homo yarn smuggler." .....snort!

Jennifer said...

Franklin, as a pure-blooded Canadian I find the image of Harry in his toque and Maple Leafs hockey jersey completely irresistable. I don't suppose you would consider adding him to your store just for your Canadian fans, would you?

In great anticipation....

Jennifer said...

Woops, sorry, what was I thinking? Maple Leafs ball band, of course! Better than a hockey jersey any day, especially on Harry....

Sock Knitter said...

Oh, Franklin! #10 made me ROFL & PIMP!

I am so happy you're back to posting more frequently ;) I know the book will be worth it -- but still, I missed you!

dale-harriet said...

Oh, I'm so jealous, you get to WWKIP with the Yarn Harlot on her birthday!! Whooah.... And have a BIG plate of poutine for me. Mmmm(don't know about the ketchup, though). Dolores: rack 'em up! The Canadians can't vote for the American President, so have fun (I've made an agreement with the Press Corps; they won't publish anything they hear about your activities in TO -- without which they've cleared it with me.)
OH! my "security word" is CONWYGO...I've asked myself that for years.

Suzanne (doublehelix) said...

I came of age in Catholic school during the cold war. One ethics discussion was precipitated by the question, "There are ten spaces in the bomb shelter. Who gains entry?" I knew the list of choices was missing something, namely "Arab Democrat hippie homo yarn smuggler." I'd take you in a heartbeat.

Jan E said...

Hi Franklin! As one of the 1,000 from Austin, I just know you'll knock their socks off. Have a blast. Can't wait to see more about how you ending up presenting/using all the photos!

Dalila said...

Have a great time in Canada, Franklin! I'm sure all of items on your list will be especially useful - especially those u's - we are testy about them! I'm sure you'll have a great time in the big smoke with all the people you'll be with. If you go off on your own, take the TTC, driving is crazy in TO! Have fun!

Frances said...

Dolores might object to being a raffle prize. Or else the raffle winner might.

Anonymous said...

"Bag of 'u's" I like it.

Should you ever venture across the Pond this will be one thing to pack, along with the umbrella.

Any chance of you venturing across the Pond - for a truly international 1000 Knitters. Or should that be 1,000,000 Knitters in that case?

Hmmm, sorry about the a nony mouse posting, Blogger isn't playing ball. Now there's a surprise!

Sandra said...

I may have to wrestle Rachel H for Harry - I want to adopt him. My son has been asking for a sibling, and I think Harry would fit right in at our house.
And if the border guards don't let the "Arab Democrat hippie homo yarn smuggler" back in, well, you'll just have to stay.

Shan said...

"Arab Democrat hippie homo"...good luck convincing them you're not an actual Canadian. I think if you look us up in Webster's the only adjective we're missing is "Democrat".

nobody said...

Have fun in Canadia Eh! :D

TracyKM said...

LOL. Don't forget to pick up some chocolate loonies and toonies to really confuse your friends back home.

Aida Costa said...

Hopefully I'll get to meet you - have a great time here in Toronto!!! :-)

Nell said...

If you get stuck with a native, just offer them a Tim's donut. (It's a jelly.)

Dr. Steph said...

I think number 10 put you on the US watch list (I won't use the t-word just in case) ;)

Can't wait to meet you tomorrow.

Renee said...

Harry! Watch out! They say they want to 'adopt' you but really, it gets cold here in winter...they want to transform you into socks...or mittens...or a hat...

Melissa said...

Ha! Is Dolores the moose repellent?

Kathleen said...

Oh, great. Now we're going to have to find a moose somewhere so we don't blow his image of our city. Do they still have them kicking around various tourist spots from that, like, "One Zillion Mooses" exhibit from a number of years ago?

Failing that, do you think he would know the difference if we substituted one of the huge cows from outside of Le Biftek?

Jeanne said...

I found your blog through the Yarn Harlot and I'm really glad I did. I laughed out loud at #10. I'd let you through in a heart beat! Thanks for the laughter.

kmkat said...

Are you sure Canada is big enough for Dolores AND La Harlot? Not to mention Harry and you...

Kristen said...

Have a fabulous time. (And I certainly hope #10 stays a joke. {sigh})

Sara said...

Franklin,
how have I missed your blog all these years? I have just pre-ordered your book. You have a new reader.

Have fun in Toronto! Do not forget your passport. The US needs you and your knit humor!

Knitting Linguist said...

Have an excellent trip. And no worries -- if they don't let you back in at the border, we'll come and fetch you back. Knitters Unite!

Seanna Lea said...

Passport good!

Back when the passports weren't needed (like 3 years ago), I went up to Toronto and was almost not allowed to return to the States. They seemed to think my knitting needles (standard bamboo circulars) were incredibly dangerous.

Granted, it was 2 a.m. when we got through customs. I can only assume paranoia increases with distance from sleep.

cedar said...

EH?

Karin said...

Safe Travels, Franklin!

Joanna said...

Too cute .... I do hope the trip is splendid!

Anonymous said...

If you don't already have a t-shirt that says "Arab Democrat Hippie Homo Yarn Smuggler" - you MUST have one made!!
- Pegkitty