Monday, November 19, 2007

My Visit to Lorna's Laces: A Report By Franklin

Lorna's Laces is a company in Chicago that makes pretty yarn. The yarn is so pretty that sometimes when two knitters are in a yarn shop and they see it at the same time and they both want it that they get mad at each other and there is hair-pulling and bad words, and then the yarn shop lady says knock it off both of you or I will make you knit with Red Heart. That is how pretty Lorna's Laces yarn is.

This is the lady who is in charge at Lorna's Laces. Her name is Beth.

Mother-of-All

Beth said to me, if you are not busy some time why don't you come over and visit us. So I did. I made some brownies to share except I ate one first and I got on the city bus, and soon I was there.

Lorna's Laces is in a factory building near the railroad tracks that looks scary on the outside like maybe inside they are filming a slasher movie but really inside are nice things, like Pearl. Pearl is Beth's dog.

Your Tour Guide

Pearl met me at the door and then she walked around with me and let me pet her lots. She is a very nice dog and does not eat yarn. If she wanted to eat yarn she would have a lot of yarn to eat, but she does not eat yarn.

Here is a picture of some yarn they made at Lorna's Laces that is going to go to yarn shops all over the universe.

Orders in Progress

Pearl was the only dog I met during my visit, but there are a bunch of other people who work there and they were all nice like Pearl, except I didn't try to pet them. (Instead I petted the yarn, and also Pearl.)

Here are some Lorna's Laces people.

The Jolly Crew

As you can see when it is lunch time a lot of them knit things. They work with yarn all day and so you would think maybe at lunch they would be sick of yarn and instead of knitting they would play xBox or do the Cosmo quiz or something, but I guess they must really like yarn.

This is the newest Lorna's Laces person. Her name is Emily.

Emily Winds Skeins

She got her job after she answered Beth's ad on Ravelry and I think that made the other 4,000 people who also wanted the job a little upset with her, but if you are one of those people don't be upset with her she is very nice, okay?

I had so much fun at Lorna's Laces meeting all the people and playing with Pearl and touching the yarn, and when I left I even got some yarn to take home because I guess they really liked the brownies. I am not going to show you a picture of the yarn I got because it would just piss you off and it's only Monday morning and I am sure you already have enough to deal with.

Thank you to everybody at Lorna's Laces for being so nice and letting me talk to you and take your picture. I had so much fun and I'm glad you liked the brownies. Remember the secret of the recipe is the little dash of vodka.

Beth says if you want to visit Lorna's Laces yourself the way to do it is to join a local group like the Windy City Knitting Guild because they get to come in for special events and stuff every so often. When you go please tell Pearl I said hi. And remember they like brownies.

Pyramid

48 comments:

amy said...

You crack me up, Franklin. I'd give you an "A." I think this makes me exceptional, because I could have said, "You get a C, but if you share your freebie yarn, you'll get an A."

I'm jealous. Lorna's Laces is much too far away for me to visit on a bus.

S.Kate said...

Vanilla-infused vodka. Genius!

JoVE said...

That yarn emily is doing whatever she is doing with is gorgeous.

Maryann said...

You stole that picture of "Pearl" didn't you? Isn't from the dictionary, where it sits next to the entry for "hang-dog expression"?

Loved this post. Thank you!

obsessmuch? said...

That's funny that you mentioned the new person and actually specified that she got the job off of Ravelry, because I saw that ad and seriously considered applying. When I saw the post about Lorna's Laces, I wondered what ever came of that ad and then, when you showed the new person, I wondered whether she got the Ravelry ad job. Lovely! All my (rather simple) questions answered. See how easy I am to please?? :)

TheBunny said...

Is it Pearl or Purl?

I do love my Lorna's Laces...

Lee said...

That Lorna's Laces has a big slobbery dog (named Pearl, no less!) makes me unbelievably happy.

Bobbi said...

I DO love Lorna's Laces! (and may even fight over it, though I'd probably be gracious and then secretly "curse" the other person.)
Thanks for sharing your adventure in Wonderland.

MonicaPDX said...

All right, now I have a rather scary picture of Harry writing the report (using your name as his nom de plume?), with his tongue stuck out just so, while Dolores lolls in a recliner by his little desk with cig in one hoof, drink in the other, and a ruler stuck behind her ear.

Is it possible I was somehow warped by the 9 years of parochial school???

(I make really, really good brownies. Thanks for the tip, although I dunno if I'll ever get to Chicago again. This is a lovely report of your visit, although I cannot imagine why I have this giggling problem.)

Krista said...

Dear Franklin,

A-plus...with extra credit if you include a picture of your yarn.

Also, whatever.

(Ignore that...it's just jealousy eating thru my soul.)

Paul said...

Excellent post! Thanks for the chuckles.

M-H said...

I was wondering how long it would be before you let Harry write the blog.

Samina said...

The first thing that comes to mind reading this is Ralphie's dream sequence in A Christmas Story, where his teacher gives him an A++++++++++++ for his essay.

A++++++++++++ to you, too.

no-blog-rachel said...

Franklin you're such a great story teller that I'd bet no one would have minded if you had pet them as well.

Jeanne said...

I think we can forgive your withholding of S.E.X. photos (oh, get your minds out of the gutter) on Monday as long as they get posted on Tuesday. We wanna see the yarn!!!

Lucky dog. Surrounded by all that yarn. The cats of the world are jealous.

Anonymous said...

You are channeling the sweetest 9-year old boy, and I'll wager he's you...

Carol in Oregon

Seanna Lea said...

Ooh, pretty! I love seeing all of the yarns, though I mostly just want to pet the puppy. She looks like she'd be happy to whuffle people all day long.

Judy in Indiana said...

Dear Franklin,

My friend and I come to Chicago every year to do some holiday gift gathering. We come by bus and get dropped off downtown and I force my friend to walk with me and to spend some time at the German Festival, the art museum, etc...I do not allow ordinary shopping, like at Water Tower or what used to be Marshall Fields.

I am out of ideas. Can you share ideas about what is good to do in Chicago and might still have some gift shopping potential that is a little out of the ordinary for me? I think as hard as I might knock, Lorna's Laces won't let me in.

Sherry W said...

The secret of many things is to add a little dash of vodka!

coopergirl said...

If we promise not to get pissed, will you show us the yarn?

Also, I've found if you put little toffee bits in the brownies, they come out very tasty.

Emily said...

Thanks for the great post! Your photos make us look so glamorous, and they make Lorna's look like an even better workplace than it already is. Did you use a dash of vodka in the camera to make all the pictures come out so well, too? Whatever it is worked for you!

It was lovely meeting you.

Anonymous said...

From the drool streaming from both sides of Pearl's mouth, I think she wants a brownie.
Beautiful ethereal lighting in those pictures. Every person looks gorgeous.
Maureen

*karen said...

::delurking:: to say: You lucky son of a --- show me the yarn! J/K. I would never swear at you in real life. I would say, "Can I please see the yarn they gave you?"

wayne said...

I'm a faithful reader of your blog and enjoy it. I just have to say that that crack about Red Heart was a bit offensive. Are you turning into a yarn snob now?

kmkat said...

I'm thinking it was really Dolores who made the brownies. And now you know what happened to the rest of the vodka.

Cherice said...

Does Pearl drool on the yarn?

I like your report. I never knew that I wished to visit Chicago until I started reading your blog.

I put coffee in my brownies, but now I must try splash of vodka (just how much is a splash?)

TheAmpuT said...

Well, since you aren't showing your yarn as part of your report, maybe you can bring it for show-and-tell.
Gold star and a smiley face for Franklin :-)

woolywoman said...

MMMMMmmmmmm. Now a deep breath. I actually have two skeins of LL sock that have been riding around on the passenger seat of my car, because work has been a little stressful lately. I open the car, see the yarn, and remember what is important to me- I mean besides the children.

Daphne said...

You're right. It IS Monday and I would be mad because I do have a lot of stuff to deal with. How did you know?

Thank you for the excellent report! I have been to the building and peeked in the doors en route to Punk Planet but clearly was too dense to figure out the brownies thing.

dale-harriet said...

OOOoooh...sounds like a veritable visit to the Vatican! Let's see, brownies - would a healthy biscuit for Pearl be amiss? There's another reason to visit the Windy City (and take up our friend on the offer of his apt for the weekend!) Science Museum, Art Museum, Franklin's favorite yarn shops, American Girl Place, FRANKLIN....ooooh!

nicole said...

You went and sniffed the dye pots, didn't you?
I have a friend living in Chicago, maybe I should bribe him to buy some yarn and send it to me... Or maybe I should bribe him to invite you to one of his office parties and then you can send me some yarn? Hmmmmmmmmm...

Marlena said...

B+ Franklin, your descriptions are vivid and wonderful, and I love the addition of photographs. Your language toward the end, however, is deplorable. I will be speaking to your mother regarding the vodka.

Rooie said...

Dear Franklin,

I read your report. I liked it a lot. I liked the pictures of the dog and the pictures of the people. I like brownies.

I would like to see the people at Lorna's Laces, too. But I don't live in Chicago. That makes me sad. I lived in Chicago when I was younger but I think Lorna's Laces hadn't been invented then.

Please say hello to Harry for me. I like Harry.

Yours truly,

Sarah

Janet said...

I think I would have wanted to bring Pearl home with me, never mind the yarn.

marie in florida said...

oohh---that's the nice lady who helped me with the Lorna's when i had a very slight problem . World Class customer service that made me feel like a millionaire customer.

i'm a Lorna's customer for life. (and there was a Great Dane in our house when i was a kid)

Beth said...

Thanks for all the nice thoughts! We love that here at Lorna's Laces.

For "thebunny"--Her name is Pearl, not Purl. She used to have a companion named Hank. They were both named long before I bought Lorna's Laces. Ironic, yes?

Beth

Dawn in NL said...

Hi Franklin,

I enjoyed the report, but couldn't help wondering why you didn't take the opportunity to add to your 1000 knitters portfolio. Then again perhaps you did, but it didn't fit in with the 9 year old's visit report!

All the best

David said...

You forgot the most important part of any report:

The End

Dr. Steph said...

Lucky.

You sound a lot like my six year old at a hot wheels factory.

Marin (AntiM) said...

Oh, how I laughed.

Vodka? Really? Vodka brownies sound like... like nature's most perfect food.

Kristen said...

You've reminded me just how drooly Great Danes are with that picture!

I'll have to try the vodka trick. I put a pinch of cinnamon in my brownies. Nobody tastes the cinnamon, but it really punches up the chocolate flavor.

deniasha said...

Oh, Franklin, I could almost hate you if I did not like you so much! Won't you at least show us pictures of your beautiful yarn? I promise I won't take any of it. Just drool a great deal

DutchJan said...

So you were in YARN HEAVEN and I wasn't!!!!!
Why is it always you who has those kind of trips????
Why not me?
I am a nice guy too!!!
And I am a customer from Lorna too!!!!!

All I can do now is knit my new Conwy socks with beautiful green Lorna Lace yarn and be jealous!!!!!!

DutchJan said...

P.S.
And when can I expect my Lorna Lace gift from You???? :-)

Deb said...

So jealous. I suspect my reaction to entering Lorna's Laces would be similar to my recent experience in a Coash outlet. Hushed tones. Gentle fondling. Trying to conduct myself as though in church.

I'm weird.

Deb said...

You know I meant COACH, right?

Great, now I feel like I got caught swearing in church.

Lauren said...

I linked to you in my YarnTalk report on Loopy Yarns in Chicago, where I bought some Lorna's Laces yarn:
http://tinyurl.com/2dxpnv
Great photos!

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