Just over six months ago, when my Exceptional Niece Abigail® was born, the whole family spent hours bent over her in wondering attitudes, rapt. We analyzed every squint and gurgle, trying to puzzle out what she might be thinking.
Well, sit down on a sturdy chair and move your coffee mug away from the keyboard because my dears, I've cracked the code.
Dolores* and I were sitting in front of the television a couple of morning ago giving each other pedicures and watching "Today" when Meredith Viera introduced a segment on babies and sign language. Apparently it's been discovered that long before they can say, "Uncle Franklin, don't you agree that Barney the Dinosaur is utterly jejune?" in so many words, they can be positively chatty by means of wiggling and waving.
At least I think that was the idea. I only caught the first part of the report because just as Meredith and some doctor with three names were getting to the heart of the matter, Dolores choked on the fruit in her cosmo and nearly severed my Little Piggy Who Had None with the nail file. By the time we stemmed the bleeding and cleaned up the carpet, "Today" had moved on to Al Roker interviewing Angelina Jolie's former housekeeper's sister-in-law's best friend's college roommate about her views on Afghanistan.
However, I was still fascinated by the thought that Abigail might have been signing to us all this time. I grabbed the first three volumes of her baby book and began poring over the snapshots for any hint of intelligibility. And lo, armed with my newly acquired scientific knowledge, it took mere minutes to bridge the communication gap that once yawned betwixt uncle and niece.
Below, a few astonishing examples of Abigail's baby sign language translated into idiomatic English.
A couple skeins of Socks That Rock would be a great Christmas present.
Can we talk about this later? I was up until midnight reading an article on sleeve caps in the new Interweave Knits.
A rock? We hiked all this way for a @$%!* rock? I thought there was going to be a @$#% yarn store up here.
Have you seen the pile of lost stitch markers under our sofa?
I got my Ravelry invitation before you did.
Oh, it's quite good. But what I'm really looking forward to is the reissue of The Principles of Knitting.
*Don't forget...the Dolores Look-Alike Contest deadline is 28 November!