Monday, July 02, 2007

Drag

I need to decompress, darlings, so let's chat about something entirely frivolous and off-the-wall today. I spin my mental Wheel of Fortune, and it lands on...drag.

One of the gay stereotypes that absolutely refuses to die is that we all like to wear women's clothes, or that we all have a sexual attraction to men who wear women's clothes. Going about thus attired is commonly known as "doing drag." Those who cross-dress are known as "drag queens."

Vive la reine.

While it is true that drag is an old and established part of the gay scene, wearing dresses is no more a universal practice among gay men than the taking of Roman Catholic Holy Communion is a universal practice among Christians.

And oddly enough, all of the men I've known who expressed a sexual fascination with cross-dressing were heterosexual. You think I'm kidding? Think again.

Mind you, I'm sure there are gay men who find a guy in a Jean Harlow wig a turn-on. I just haven't met any in the past 36 years.

My first encounters with drag queens took place when I was a mere stripling of 15, lying about my age to get into bars. (Sorry, Ma. They didn't have high school groups in those days. Unless you count Drama Club.) The very first was either Jerry or Charisse, depending upon the day. Jerry was an amiable fellow who wore bow ties. Charisse was a spangly, red-hot mama with an Anita Baker fixation who scared the living daylights out of me.

I've often wondered why. She never did or said anything threatening. In fact, she never spoke to me beyond a casual greeting. I think the fear must have arisen from my lack of experience with those who defy category. At that age, I needed other people to fit neatly into the little boxes stacked in my head. It was difficult enough not knowing what my place in the world was supposed to be.

These days I've relaxed sufficiently to appreciate people who wander hither and thither, obliterating the boundaries that separate male and female, gay and straight. If that sounds anarchistic and objectionable, try to see it from my side. When you're a member of a minority group so controversial that your fellow citizens consider your right to exist open to debate, you welcome almost anything that makes it more difficult to decide what exactly is "normal."

However, even though I've come to appreciate drag, I still don't enjoy it. Not on me, and not on others. I once got suckered into attending a performance at a local club called "Night of a Thousand Drag Queens." I made it to number 26, but my nerves were shot for the rest of the weekend.

And I'm no better about wearing women's clothing.

It has happened twice, both times on stage. First, I played Lady Bracknell in Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest - a stunt that got me into hot water at my lousy high school. Our costumer was a stickler for period detail and I wore a corset, a fifty-pound brocade dress with underskirts, and a fifteen-pound hat with an entire stuffed bird on top. By the end of our two performances I had aches in my back and neck that lasted for two solid weeks.

Years later, with a company in Boston, I played a nun in John Guare's The House of Blue Leaves. I had to shave my tough beard every night just before the show in order to avoid five o' clock shadow, and my starched wimple chafed terribly.

Some men are just not strong enough to be women.

Given all that, I have had more than my share of drag names, all bestowed during the operatic phase of my young adulthood:
  • Mademoiselle Folie de Grandeur
  • Signorina Cavatina Caballetta ("Tina" for short)
  • Dee Fledermaus
Those rarified jokes tell you something–make that everything–about my friends at the time. Most drag names are more democratic (one might say blue collar) in their appeal. Among my favorites:
  • Dieta and Tulita Pepsi (a sister act from, I believe, St. Louis)
  • Formica Dinette
  • Regina Upright
  • Frida Lay
If for some reason you'd like your own drag name but don't feel up to the task of invention, experts suggest combining the name of your first pet and the name of the first street you lived on* as a child. Mine, following this formula, would be Sandy Pittsburgh.

Dear God, can't you just imagine the wig that goes with that?

*If you lived on 14th Street, you can substitute your mother's maiden name. If you lived on 14th Street in New York City, it's entirely possible your mother was a drag queen.

145 comments:

lizanne said...

Ohhhh, I would be Daphne Monroe...the dress would be red, but otherwise the same, flaring above the sidewalk grate in the heat of summer.

Tina said...

I'd be Kitty Tornado. Not too bad, actually.

I've seen Dieta Pepsi once in St. Louis, but never TuLita Pepsi. I feel like I'm missing out now.

Steff said...

I'd be "Hershey Highland". How utterly terrifying.

doodah said...

Smokey Magnolia

dragon knitter said...

i'd be penny county road! gawd! a redneck drag queen (i almost typed dragon, lol). it's either that or penny schlautmann. oy!

and the scary part? i've seen women who actually look like that, minus the tiara. they're usually waitresses in greasy spoons with names like darlene and loretta (no offense to anyone who works in a greasy spoon (i did once) or anyone named darlene or loretta). either that, or minus the bouffant hairdo, crossing the street from the homeless shelter, with a cart full of cans.

i'm glad you can say it takes some strength to be a woman. most guys (gay or straight) around here can't or won't admit it. corset, indeed!

Paisley said...

Tina Nelson - I'm getting visions of a cowboy hat and boots and fringed jacket

Erica said...

Mitzi Sunflower. :) Me likey.

freecia said...

I remember seeing the drag queens in Phuket, Thailand, and all the straight laced middle-American families were taking photos with the ladies. Personally, if someone can walk in those shoes for hours, I quite admire that skill! Some had really good makeup, too.

Julia said...

Oh Jeez, I'd be Mousie Candlewick. Could I make something like that up? Maybe I'd just better stick with the knitting.

Jenn said...

Ah, Dieta Pepsi! My first drag show - the first time I whispered to a male companion, "Uhm...where does she put it??" while she pranced in her skimpy black leotard. This was just an hour or so after I was talking with a girl in the bar and had to ask (the same escort) "why do people keep coming up to her to give her money?" I learned a whole new meaning of the word "real." I was quite impressed. When the drag queens are prettier than you are, what's the point of being jealous? Years later I was at a lipsync contest with a gay friend (we'd just seen CATS - who else would go with me?) and the MC, who looked a lot like your first picture, told me I was beautiful. It was one of the complements received in my life that I most treasure.

Mel said...

I know I've said it before, but my drag name would be Bootsie Ponderosa. Which, of course, means lots of Patsy Cline numbers, fringed outfits, and mega-hair. I've long had this idea for a performance of the Eurhythmics "Missionary Man", though. It involves a black vinyl cowgirl dress and hat, stiletto cowgirl boots (naturally), and a bullwhip. Too bad I hate makeup enough that it'll never happen.

Oh, and I've yet to meet anyone who can beat my gay porn name. Ram Nova.

Anonymous said...

"Norman Gremillion"

Between the name and high school drama references, I'm having visions of being back in Tartuffe, with men in wigs, painted moles, and shoes with red heels. I was in a five foot wide panniers and and at least felt like this young woman of quality in a big dress: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ea/1778-jeune-dame-de-qualite-en-grande-robe.jpg. I would love to see a drag queen in that.

Jean said...

My favourite cross-dresser these days is the English artist (Turner Prize winner) Grayson Perry. Heterosexual, as you suggest. He wrote a very funny article in the Times once about meeting his daughter and some of her friends on Oxford Street, and watching those well-bred girls struggle with the temptation to ask, "Why is your Dad wearing a frock?"

Kitty-Virginia Park

Taphophile said...

Having a more than passing acquaintance with drag - I lived in Sydney, Australia in the 1980s and 90s - my favourite drag names were Helena Handbasket and Carmen Getit.

Using the formula (one I've previously used for creating my porn star name), I'd be Bitsy Sunnyglee. Truly mind-boggling.

Kate said...

Hi from Pussy Pomona - a name that could be in lights at Les Girls in Knigs Cross. Carlotta was/is the Ozzie drag queen par excellence amd Carmen is the Kiwi one.

Annie 39 Showers said...

I grew up on a numbered street, and I always thought Annie 39 sounded rather dominatrix-like. I can just see her in high heeled boots and leather.

Of course, another street I lived on would yield Annie Showers, which gets into a whole different realm of kink.

Rabbitch said...

Mine would have been Tinsy Crow. I think perhaps I shall instead stick to my chosen name of "Chunky Bouclé". I can't tell you how much I love the name Formica Dinette, though.

Worst one I've ever seen was Kitty Litter. Bad name, bad drag, too.

canknitian said...

I'd be Muffin Peter. :)

Carol said...

Money quote:
"Some men are just not strong enough to be women."

I love you more than words can say.

--- Trixie Grebe

Michelle said...

I'd end up with a true drag king name: 'Walter Stanley'. Makes me sound like I should be either driving a truck or selling fridges, doesn't it?

I once planned out a character for a cabaret who never eventuated (the 'Overblown Opera Diva' character was used instead) who was essentially a woman dressed as a man dressed as a woman, with the name 'Liza Plenty'.

erin/pinkerbell said...

LOL! I have never met a gay cross dresser ever. Everyone I have met I knew prior to my discovery of their alter ego. *uncomfortable.*
PJ Brandon. Nope, i still sound like a pet.

Jenn said...

It's so hilarious when you get off on a tangent. I love it.

I'm a woman with size 11 feet. All the shoes I can find are very drag queen. There is quite a selection of shoes for anyone interested in taking up the hobby. :)

-- Buffy Ranger

Bobbi said...

Herbie Martin checking in....any relation to Dean Martin? Pass me a martini Darling and we'll find out!

CarolineF said...

Heehee! I don't remember the name of the first street I lived on but taking the name of the town is WAY good enough. I like Tilly Leonia!

I once helped work the house at a musical about drag queens that was being given at the university I was attending - the show itself was not so great but I have never forgotten that those men looked better in women's gowns than real women do (no hips, broad shoulders). It made me wonder if designer clothes are really made for drag queens.

Redford Phyl said...

Somehow Goomba Woodward sounds more like a Sopranos character than a drag queen. But then, I've always been a bit odd.

Rachel H said...

Mittens Glenview.

I dunno. Something about it just isn't working for me.

Kathleen said...

First family pet: Petey
First street (though I don't remember it): 9th

If I go with MY first pet: Midnight
and the first street I remember: Kennedy

Midnight Kennedy

My mom and aunt and I used to be involved in variety shows. A co-worker of my aunt used to run/coordinate/participate in the Gay Ms America pageant in the DC area. He had some lovely formal wear that he lent us for Big Show Stopper numbers: New York, New York, Ziegfield Follies/Las Vegas Showgirl-style finales! :) We so appreciated his wardrobe.

nancyneverswept said...

Tinkerbelle Donair? Could be okay, I suppose, but it does nothing for me. Your decompressions are worth waiting for, though. We always learn something!

Mary Lynn said...

I have a good friend whose wonderful ex-husband is a cross-dresser. They were happily married for about five years when she discovered his suitcase of women's clothing. They remained married for a couple of more years until she realized that he was spending more on women's jewelry and clothing for himself than she ever spent on herself or, for that matter, he ever spent on her!

She said it wouldn't have been bad if they had the same taste or even wore the same size, but alas, they didn't.

Oh, and I would be, Twilight Milford.

Cara said...

Either Maxwell Cincinatti or Ginger Castle.

Between living in San Francisco, West L.A. and New Orleans, I have amazingly never personally known a straight cross-dresser, though I know and believe they exist.

I love Grayson Perry, his pottery is delicious, gender-bending and concerned as it is with identity. I always wonder if he pots in his frocks. There is a wonderful catalog of his pottery, Guerrilla Tactics, put out by the Stedelijk Museum of Amsterdam.

Mary said...

I'd be Tabitha Peck.

Excuse me while I go write a short story... I like it.

Inky said...

I love me some drag queens, but you're right, most of the crossdressers I know are hetero boys that IM me for fashion tips, lol.

Oh and My hubby and I have our own drag queen names - I'm Taffeta Darling and he's Gusty Winds.

Riin said...

Buffy Base? Hmm.

You know, I realized some time ago that one reason I don't like shoes and clothes that look extremely "feminine" and can't stand makeup, is that if I wear that stuff I end up feeling like I look like a drag queen. Not like I want to look like a guy (I don't look like a guy). I just want to look like a human being. I think I manage that.

Mama Cat said...

My drag name would be Heinz Arrowhead ... that's a little scary, isn't it? (though it is drag for me as I am a woman)

Coupon Chris said...

Jackie Hale.

I thinking something with a Navy theme!

Eldronius said...

Hmm...

Bebe Colorado

That is from the first street I lived on that had a name instead of a county road number...which was college! And using my mother's maiden name is creepy :P

I envision Bebe to have a bullet brazier colored much like the snow-covered mountains of colorado.

Anonymous said...

Whereas I, on the other hand, can think of nothing funnier than guys in drag. They crack me up every time. Silly, I know. Someday, I would like to dress as a drag queen. I am a woman already, but I am rather tall - I think I could pull it off :)
--Boss Point Wolfe

Cathy said...

Maybe Hatchercrescent here. We named the dog Maybe because my dad didn't want a dog, and maybe she'd be ours and maybe not. Maybe not won.

Bridget said...

My favorite drag name is a friend of a friend, whose "professional" name is Dora Jar.

Steven said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steven said...

My name drag name would be...

Goliath Vista Place

Doesn't quite work. Here's one a friend of mine told me which you might appreciate:

Helvetica Bold

Liz said...

Spot Marquette

It's lacking something, don't you think?

Elizabeth said...

Lucy Studio. It doesn't have the pizzazz of most of the others who have posted.

Studio Drive wasn't the first street I ever lived on, but I don't know the name of the first one. We moved about 6 times before I turned 5.

Kali said...

At first, I couldn't recall the name of our first pet. As I chuckled my way down your commentors creations, it came to me:
Sparky Haze

No wonder I love red and other hot colors. :-)

Ever since 'Priscilla, Queen of the Desert' I have had a great appreciation for properly applied make-up. And I haven't looked at my wardrobe the same since then, either.

MollyBeees said...

I loved this entry. I love the Pepsi sisters' names! I am sooooo glad you exist, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop making coffee come out my nose first thing in the morning!
Love,
Sparky StationStreet

Aidan said...

I'd be Missy Gay.

My favorite name is Filene S. Basement...though I had a secretary whose drag persona was Jewel Osco.

Ruby Rims used to tend bar in the Village...hard to imagine she's still alive, because she wasn't an engenue in the early 80's. (And she lived life HARD, believe you me.) I used to say in my head, "Ruby Rims. Hmmm. I bet she does."

My verification word is boybj. Ironic.

Sister Sue said...

I must have got the 'drag queen gene' instead of you. You know I love high glamour (even if accompanied by low humor), be it on man or woman.

I don't remember our street in Arizona, but going with the first pet and street names I remember, I'd be Cookie Plumwood. Not bad, but I'll stick with the name you gave me...

--Crepes Suzette

Jax said...

Fluffy Hampshire. I think not. I'm already "fluffy" enough--I don't need to proclaim it.

One of my prize posessions is a huge steamer trunk, complete with hangers and mirror, a friend bought on a yard sale. She bought it solely for the purpose of hauling off her real find of the day--dozens of pairs of size 11 women's shoes. Sadly, I never learned the drag name of the queen who held the sale.

Sami said...

Birdface Woodridge.... I like it.

Pink said...

Conker Undercliffe? Where did she park her truck, dahlink?

My favorite drag cabaret was Madame JoJO's on Wardour St, London...I remember a couple of straight guy friends being freaked that the gorgeous girls kept winking at them!!

Eric said...

Following the formula, I'd be "Icecube Wells", which sounds more like a rapper. However, the name I like best is "Hedda D. Classe".

Lisa said...

Nosey Cottonwood.....where are the Patsy Cline and June Cash songs...hey, for that matter where is my fellow posting buddy that has outfits already planned?

Having worked with the Miss Camp organization, I can truly admire your ability to admit that some men just cannot be women.

Thank you for just being you!

Happy Fourth!

An said...

Hi, I'm Princess Jamaica.

geogrrl said...

Right on, Franklin. I've been trying to tell people this for years. Men who are gay are not usually cross-dressers, and cross-dressers are not usually gay.

Barry Humphries has been doing it for years.

Lee Ann said...

The first time I saw a drag show in Provincetown, there was a performer named Evian Waters doing Madonna's "Vogue," and we really could not tell that it was not Madonna. Amazing. And then there was the absolutely brilliant rendition of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You," where, on the last ohmygod ramp-up verse, the singer tossed his head back and the wig slipped. He pulled the wig off his head to reveal the most luxurous head of long hair I've ever seen, and finished the song...the crowd went wild.

Did you happen to notice that the acronym the straight-guys-emulating-femininity group uses to describe their mission is FIBER?

Josephine Gary. I do believe that calls for stilettos and hose with the lines up the back of the leg. Also, extreme patience with a curling iron and hairpins. A rocket launcher bra wouldn't hurt, either.

Lynne said...

Using your formula I would be Suzie Franklin (no relation I'm sure) LOL. I think I was 16 when my auntie took me to the drag show in New Hope, PA. Speaking of Drag Queens, what does one call a 15 year old girl who loves drag? Yes I have a bizarre teenager but what can I say, I'm trying to be a supportive mom.

no-blog-rachel said...

Just call me McGillicuddy West-Hill.

It doesn't have much in the way of panache, but I do like the hyphen.

Tasha said...

Tippy Renee. I plan to wear negligees and swan about a lot.

But I probably was going to do that anyway.

terri said...

I thought that was how you discovered your porn star name. Perhaps they are interchangeable? Anyhow, my name, Muffy Nevada, would work well for either, don't you think?

P.S. Someone on the knitters review board recently added a link to your 2005 review of the Stitches Fashion Show, in response to a question about such things.

http://www.knittersreview.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=80456

I know I'm 2 years too late, but OMG I had to tell you that your description was hilarious, and all too accurate! The show, the host, it is all too true!

Juno said...

Osaka Hernandez. Not MY drag name, you understand, just my favorite.

Moby said...

Winky Maitland. And they said it was scary when women started wearing trousers...

Jean said...

Simpkins Trinidad. Needs dreadlocks. Nah, not me. I'll stick to playing with string and sticks.

Karen said...

Tootsie Rural Route here. Just hold on a sec while I open the trailer door, light a cigarette and shift the baby to the other hip...

Or do we detect darker implications?

Sherry W said...

I think people get confused with cross-dressing and trans-gendered.

My name isn't very interesting:
Bandit Danby

SisterCoyote said...

I have always liked my drag name: Ginger Bel Estos

Sandra said...

Martini Martel.
I may win...

Heidi said...

Oh dear, that would make me...

Schnapsie Gitzel

(no kidding)!
One of the most unusual events I've ever attended was a Drag Blackout Bingo show - exactly what it says on the tin, except "blackout bingo" meant, turn off the lights, hear the number called out and scramble for the pack of carboard matches that they provided kindly with every card. By the time you had checked your card, you had either scorched your fingers, the cards, or your friend next to you. Oh, and there had been some interresting whisky cocktails thrown into the mix as well. Utterly unforgettable, although I'm trying.

Rob said...

One of my favorite drag names comes from my days in Atlanta. There was a booger-drag troupe that raised tons of money for good/gay causes, and this one big BIG girl was "Shelita Buffet".

Oh, and my made-up name would be Pepper Neva. Imagine THAT wig!

(other good drag names from the past are Coretta Scott Queen and Wild Cherry Sucret, both of Athens, GA; there's always Sofonda Peters and Shennita Quit, both of Atlanta)

Jasmin said...

Cross-dressing also has it's place in literature- but it's straight guys who dress in drag.

[Take Rochester in "Jane Eyre", for example, dressing like an old gypsy, or any in the league of the Scarlet Pimpernel.]

Oddly enough, I know more straight guys who wear makeup and dress in drag.

Anna-Liza said...

Hm. I would be either "Cat Halifax" or "Rosie O'Grady Halifax"--we had both as pets, and I was young enough that I don't remember which came first. Either is excellent, but I think "Cat" suits me better. Shorter, too.

My experience matches yours, dear--all the men I have ever known who had a sexual cross-dressing thing were, well, heterosexual. I think they would be put firmly into the queer spectrum by most people, so I don't want to call them "straight". (I don't consider it cross-dressing when transexuals are doing it).

And all the gay drag queens I've known have been performers, professional or semi, and only wore drag when performing or promoting a performance.

But whatever. I'm all for anything that breaks open people's minds and makes them realize that gender is 99.5% social construct. Maybe 100%.

Very thoughtful column for a decompression! And you know, I just don't think drag would suit you.

KellyD said...

Ruffles Deauville... hmmm sounds like a stripper to me.

Sarah said...

Erm... Wart 19, then? Perhaps not.

takawolffie said...

Elmer Dearborn

Oh dear.
How about La Triviata instead?

:o) Lori

Gretchen said...

Okay, best-loved childhood pet and best-loved street:

Jenny Heathcliff

First pet and street address EVER?

TWEETY MARS!

Sneaksleep said...

Cider DeForest. Not quite...

annie marie in philly said...

my ex-spouse was a cross dresser. yes, he was hetero.

"sydney paoli" (following your formula) - not very sexy.

have a good 4th!

Thorny said...

I would be Prince Burr Oak. I guess I'm a drag king, then. Though "burr oak" actually kind of works as a play on words there. I'd have to go very Elizabethan with the starched collar and junk.

Whoo! Makeup and heels, even though I'd be dressed as a guy! Elizabethan drag king for teh win! ;)

Linda said...

Rootbeer Head.

It's not very sexy, though, is it? I mean, it can be sort of practically descriptive and I thought these types of names aren't supposed to be practical sounding.

Seriously, the street I grew up on was named Head. We endured a lot of teasing around that. Two streets over was Bulger. What were those developers thinking?

Leslie said...

Just call me Sassy Canon. Actually, that's got a nice ring to it...

Angel said...

Cheetah Rushford...

Meow. :)

Cherice said...

Falstaf Corralitos (actually it could be Susie Williams, after a cat and a street I have no real recollection of). I worked with a drag queen when I was in college. His name was Tony and he looked better than most women. I envied his legs. All of the other gay men I know or are related to are just regular guys.

Jeanne said...

OMG, Riin, I feel the same way in makeup and heels--like I'm in drag! Glad I'm not the only one.

Using this formula, I'd be Katie Carol. How boring! It calls to mind a neophyte adult film star. It could be worse. If I named myself after my first horse and last street of residence, I'd be Cheerios Hill. Yark.

How I wish the 1980s would return, that glorious time when every poncy glam rocker was really just a boy in drag...

knitnzu said...

You are 36, right? The gay men I've known run the gamut from super macho to 'average guy' to fairly effeminate, but none of them ever went on about doing in drag. Though we all got a charge out of Divine.

Ghislaine said...

Milou Beauséjour.

I live in Vancouver's West End and the building I live in is home to three or four drag queens. I never know from night to night whether I will be running into Dolly, Cher or Barbra!

Joy said...

Always thought that my drag name using that formula - Jimmy Laramie - would be okay for a drag *king* (sorry, I'm a femme dyke m'self.) Has sort of a western ring to it. If I went with the second of each category, that one has more of a burlesque quality appropriate to drag: Trixie Latrobe. Both, btw, Chicago streets.

Angie said...

Tigger Serena, hmm, interesting. Ok, then, perhaps you can enlighten me, if 95% of drag queens are straight, why is it when we see pics of the pride parade, peops are all dressed up in Drag? Or is that just what the media shows?

TheBunny said...

I've always thought everyone has a drag-persona hiding in us. It is about taking an aspect of your personality and ENLARGING it. :-)

That being said, while Missy Loma Vista is a great name, I have found my drag persona is actually Muffy Von Perlmutter. And I was a little shocked that she leans towards being a dominatrix!

Nancy said...

If I go with the absolute firsts, before my memory completely serves me, Auggie Gardner.

After that, I'm Sooty Naylor.

Not bad, both of them.

Teresa C said...

Hah! So funny that everyone comes out with their drag name! Mine? Shakespeare Melody. Ick. I must have had another pet. I had a praying mantis that I didn't name, Praying Mantis Melody. I like that one better. I liked this post. I think if more people understood this about gay men they would be less afraid. My brother is about as straight everything as he can be, with one exception. He is gay. I think he would die before putting on a dress. Maybe if the gay pride parade had all men in suits and carrying brief cases....... Not as fun though.

Anonymous said...

Frisky Lane would be mine. I see a film noir starlet--the chorus girl promoted to (bad) nightclub singer through her gangster boyfriend's influence. Bit of a floozy--heart of gold.

Blogless Diane in SLC

Karen E. said...

Reggie Hillside. Or, if it must be only my pet, Perry Hillside. I'm not getting much of a drag vibe off of those names, to be honest.

Debidee said...

Boots Broadstreet...

Sounds like a farcical mystery novel character.

Anonymous said...

Cocoa Glasrud? I don't think so.

Annie said...

I heard it as your stripper name, but I like yours better... My name would be Sasha Middlesex. Perfect.

Christina said...

Kippy Whitefox checking in. Yikes.

Maryb said...

I would be Toots Van Buren. What a great name. I can use it when I go to Vegas (yeah, right) and sign in under an assumed name... MaryB

Another other mother said...

I'm not sure why a guy who lives with an overdressed sheep and talking balls of yarn finds drag queens unappealing, but whatever.

--Speedy Gunhill

stash haus said...

Mine sounds more like a porn star - Frisky Indiana.

Maureen said...

Boogers Peoria here, and may I shake your hand?

Why my ladylike educated mother, daughter of a minister, former Latin teacher, allowed us to name our cat Boogers, I don't know.
Except she had a wicked sense of humor, on occasion.

Anonymous said...

I'd be Tex Victoria, don't like it as a drag name, but might work in another situation. Fav drag performers' names: Summer Clearance and Wilma Fingerdo - and who could forget Hedda Lettuce? Happy 4th!

Michelene said...

I worked with a guy who performed under the name Fonda Cox.
Oh dear, Sparkles Longlois. I'd look like the damn Indian from the Village People. Only with glitter.
Lots of glitter.

Anonymous said...

Favorite Drag Queens:
Scarlett Fever!
Sable Chanel!
Sabrina K Brooks! (why the K? Why not?!!?!??)

IrreverendAmy said...

Patches Gordon? Yeah, that's a drag name for the ages.

Laura in Alameda said...

Skippy Sterling, here. I'm female and I hate to have to wear the uncomfortable girl clothes, although occasionally one mus suffer for beauty. ( retching sound) So drag as a phenomenon is absolutely mystyfiying to me. Interesting, but mystifying. Useful sometimes, too. It was a drag queen in Denver who finally taught me how to walk in high heels at the age of 24.Thanks, Kenny. It was real handy on my wedding day.

Knitting Painter Woman said...

Always informative.
And I agree, the only men I've known who like to "cross dress" because they get a thrill out of it were straight.

Knitting Painter Woman said...

Addendum: Pierre San Miguel. Hmmm.
And as a "substantial" woman in a histrionic plaid sequined jacket at a Turtle Creek Chorale concern, several audience members assumed I was a drag queen. I had very mixed feelings about it, because several really WANTED that jacket.

Anonymous said...

Sandy Pittsburgh would I think wear an ash-blond early 60's flip and very red lipstick. half Sandra Dee, half Jayne Mansfield. I think. -Peewee Hillside (boring!)

Ria said...

The downside of following that formula for me is that my 'first pet' was actually two cats bought at the same time, both of whom are male and have distinctly male names. I'd be NickandJakob Balkwell. O_o Of course, given that I try to dress to hide any gender-specific qualities I have (since I identify as asexual and agendered), dressing as a male would count as cross-dressing for me anyway, so maybe it all works out well in the end.

Lynn said...

Missy South Old Middletown.

Doesn't work at all. No wonder I lead such a straight boring life.

Patricia said...

How timely. I just watched Torch Song Trilogy while I was ironing. I laughed so hard that I burned my arm.

Violetsrose said...

I had friends - a married couple - I once took them along to an "alternative" weekend/convention - he realised it was somewhere he could wear ladies clothes in safety - he spent the rest of the weekend in a skirt - I moved away and saw them no more - just heard a couple of months ago that they are divorcing due to his "crossdressing getting out of control"!

Sad that they are divorcing but how I laughed!!!

Hilary said...

Pippy Kilkenny.

I'm with Mary on heading off to write a short story......

Thanks for the diversion.

MonicaPDX said...

Good lord, I'd be Baba Ida. Would I have to wear a babushka??? I mean, geesh, that doesn't seem quite the attire for a drag queen!

Although if it required me to cackle, well, that might be kind of fun... Pushing kolache on people, that I do already. [g] Hm; hunky guys helping me make kolache. Y'know, I think I could go with this.

I need orange said...

My favorite experience with drag was watching RuPaul entertain Dennis Rodman on her show.

It was amusing to watch Rodman (who always tried to be so Out There, but who, one suspected, really was a small-town boy at heart) swing back and forth between regarding RuPaul as a man and as a woman, and watching his reaction when he realized he'd been treating her as a woman....

RuPaul made him kiss her at one point.... :-)

-- Reina Pine Tree :-)

tycho said...

my formula drag name(s) would be, something that to my ears sounds male. We had two cats when I was a kid, one named Phred, and the other named Mouse. anyway...

I can confirm Dieta Pepsi as being a pillar of sorts in the st. louis drag/gay/etc community I think s/he's day job is with some sort of social service agency, AIDS work or something. Don't quote me on that.

I saw her walking around at pride, probably, the last time I went, wearing pants and a pretty normal blouse. it was interesting and thought provoking.

Anyway... having said that, I've not heard of Tulita Pepsi, but again, I haven't *actually* lived in st. louis much recently.

While drag certainly remains a feature of gay culture, I can't help but think that it's dying down. I'm not sure of course, but who knows...

While Tulita Pepsi

Katje said...

My husband's favorite drag name is Anita Mann, and mine is Trampolina.

FiberQat said...

Pookie Knott. Complete with 8 inch platforms, royal blue satin sheath, and B-52.

noricum said...

For some reason, Exhibit A reminds me of Dolores.

Cinnamon Glenwood

Mama Llama said...

I would (not!) be Pickles Buck. Much too close to Pickle's Butt. And if I were going to be a drag queen, I would be a glamorous draq queen, resplendant in sequins and sparkly jewels, and Pickles Buck just does not match that image.

Kristen said...

Interestingly, we young heterosexuals played that same name game--only it would be your porn star name. So what is the substitution for those of us who had no childhood pets with names? Would I really be Goldfish Brookfield?! BTW, when I was in my 20s one of the most popular drag queens in the Pittsburgh area was Sandy Beach, so you might have been sued for infringing intellectual property rights had you performed as Sandy Pittsburgh. ;)

Gretchen said...

Oh, what about prenatal influence? That would make me "Herbie Fort Ord". . .

shannon said...

she just looks so tired (exhibit a).

i'd be socks limit. nothing fun or exciting...ah well.

Judy in Indiana said...

Flip Farrington.

marie in florida said...

Franklin, i couldn't get into Tri S at work. "surf controll"
i dislike women's clothing, uncomfortable, ill fitting , hobbling at best. yuck. i'm glad to live in days when it's ok for me not to.
Princess Pitkin in florida

Janet said...

Last night in Seattle, on Capitol Hill, gay haven of the Pacific Northwest? A poster for (I kid you not) Urethra Franklin... ahh, pride, how it brings out the best and the worst of us!

Anonymous said...

What a hoot! Apparently the ladies are enjoying making up their drag queen names. Welcome to the fun! Selecting or being given a drag queen or "stage" name has been a right of passage of many gay men for years. My personal friends include:

Latrina Bidet (married to Uri Nal)
Velveeta Jones
Layona Davenport
Shitonya Ferrari

jenfromRI said...

Samantha Gloria

Jax said...

From the play, A Tuna Christmas (sequel to Greater Tuna), in which all the characters in a small Texas town are played by two (gay) men:
The waitresses at the Tastee Creme are named Helen Bedd and Inita Goodwin. Think beehives and Patsy Cline.

Deb said...

Shanna Westmoor ;)

Perhaps we 1,000 knitters could use our drag names in the project?

KnitNana said...

oh dear. Muffin Derwent.
ROFLOL!
Thanks, Franklin...I have this vision in my head now...
(((hugs)))

dhi said...

Cinderella Bernard

Evinrude Cratsley
("Hand me that stallion's bridle, boy, and be quick about it!")

OR

Jaques Aurora

Jeezus. I'd starve.

Nancy said...

Cecil Albany

More like my "Chancery Practice Barrister" name.

Eileen said...

Meet Willow Forest ...
sounds kinda tree-huggerish ...
which is really what I am.

Gosh.

Jess Poskozim said...

Bummer Falk. All I can imagine with that name is a Mrs. Doubtfire wannabe. However, if I could choose my own name it would be Sara Bellum.

rb said...

"Some men are just not strong enough to be women"

Love that.

Signed,

Tiki Walnut

Anonymous said...

one of my dad's friends performed under the drag name of Patty O' Furniture. Fabulous.

Adrianna said...

Juniper University Ave.
Whatever.

Buzz said...

I know this doesnt count, but I'd like mine to be "Sushi Buffet"

Lothlorian said...

I would be pepsi rolland, which sounds like I could really go pro with it LOL, but I am a girl already ;)

this hasnt half made me laugh!!!!

Cynical Gal who Knits said...

Dr. Jekyll Shoemaker. Hmm. That sounds more like a Freudian Psychoanalyst who has the proverbial couch. Eeech!

filambulle said...

Chatouille Gros-Chêne
just giggling....

brandy said...

I'd be Puddy Monroe. As in "I tawt I taw a puddy tat"
I discovered that one a number of years ago and was always very fond of it.

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