Friday, September 29, 2006

Q & A Period

It's the end of one hell of a week and I'm feeling too tired to turn cartwheels for your amusement, so I know what let's do. Let's dig into the giant, mouldering heap of Unanswered Reader Questions and see if we can't answer a few.

Oh, I know. I'm excited too. Just please take your shoes off if you must jump and down on the sofa. Thank you.

Question: I asked you a question in your comments two months ago and you never answered me. Are you a snob, or a moron, or what?

Answer: I forget to answer questions because I'm a moron. I refuse to listen to Kelly Clarkson because I'm a snob.

Question: WTF is holding up your Baby Surprise Jacket in that photo?*

Answer: If you guessed "rolling pin," you're correct! I was so delighted to find yet another use for it, beyond making piecrust and threatening Dolores.

Question: Is Dolores Jewish, or does she just have a penchant for Yiddish slang?

Answer: Dolores was raised agnostic and claims to be a Taoist. However, like me she finds the allure of the Yiddish tongue irresistible.

Question: What does fahrklempt mean?

Answer: My goodness, how funny that you would ask. It's Yiddish, meaning (roughly) all choked up with emotion.

Question: Wait a minute. What is a former-Catholic-now-Buddhist doing using Yiddish words in his blog?

Answer: Trying to attract a hot Jewish man. So sue me.

Question: What sort of yarn is Jo Sharp DK Aran?

Answer: That should be just plain "Jo Sharp DK." Host du bie mir an avleh. I keep forgetting to go in and fix it. It's a nice double-knitting weight wool. It worked well for the Ruana because it didn't weigh too much; the trade off was the amount of time involved in knitting it to size. I'd advise anybody knitting the Ruana according to Cheryl Oberle's pattern to swatch, swatch, swatch with the yarns of your choice before you begin–you'll want to check out in advance what sort of fabric your yarn choices will yield.

Question: Howzabout you put Dolores on some baby stuff in your online shop?

Answer: Bist meshugeh? Oy, I've been losing sleep over this one. Dolores? The shikker with the cigarettes and the gigolos du jour? On baby stuff? I'm not certain whether to be flattered for Dolores or afraid for your child, but okay. I finally figured out a way to do it that won't make me feel responsible for the collapse of morals in the next generation. Watch for it soon.

Question: Any word on a Dulaan Knit In for Chicago?

Answer: Yes. Tentatively hold the first Saturday of November, during the day, at a venue in Evanston, Illinois. More (and firmer) details this coming week. We'll knit, we'll fress, it'll be a simcha.

Question: Can you recommend sources for learning to knit lace?

Answer: Yes. For a concise and informative overview of lace tips, check out Marilyn's handout. For a full-blown online primer, visit Eunny. There lots more out there on the Internet–these are just two favorites that spring to mind. Please note that both Marilyn and Eunny are really good about answering reader questions. Ahf mir gezogt!

Question: Boxers or briefs?

Answer: On me or you, yungermantshik?

*On rereading, this reminds me of my favorite anecdote about Mary Garden, an opera singer who in the early years of the 20th century had the sort of fame we now reserve for giant creative talents like Lindsay Lohan. Garden was a hottie, to put it mildly. At a party Chauncey Depew took a look at her plunging neckline and asked, "Tell me, Miss Garden, what's holding up that dress?" To which she replied, "Your age and my discretion."

31 comments:

debsnm said...

"Your age & my discretion"! I'll have to remember that one.

Carol said...

It's probably a testament to your wit and charm, but I loved reader questions! It made me plotz.

Nancy J said...

Yowza!!!

Vicky in Vancouver said...

"allure of the Yiddish tongue"

Oh vey, I'm farklempt now.....

And I enjoy empty-the-mailbag days as well.

Stephanie in Maine said...

While checking the meanings of the Yiddish phrases, Google asked me if I meant to write "Host du bei mir an applet", which I may have to use in my next quarterly report for work.

Mel said...

My friend Glenn swears to me that Jewish men are hung (He's Jewish, of course). Apparently so is Clay Aiken (hung, that is). But that's an entirely different story.

Joy said...

Franklin, you're a mensch. I can't wait to dress my daughter in a little Dolores onesie that says Uppity Chicks Rule. Unless, of course, we have a boy, in which case we might go with All this and I knit, too. Either way, we'll send you a photo and you'll kvel. (We'll also be sending you his/her therapy bills in about 18 years.)

Sharon Rose said...

Dammit, now I need to knit a Ruana.

Cheryl said...

Thanks to Mel I have this really odd image of Clay Aiken...THANKS A LOT!!!!

kbsalazar said...

Street Yiddish. Gigolo du jour = boychik. Used to mean little boy, as in a kid under age 8. Now (in some circles) means something more like young, preening, male strumpet.

IRV said...

Franklin, I'm a hot jewish man who thinks you're adorable, not to mention very hot yourself. ???What happened to "C"???????????

Aileen said...

I should start using yiddish words in my blog so as to attract hot Jewish men too!

hillary said...

I love today's post. The questions are great. The answers even better. The liberal use of Yiddish is the icing on the cake.

sogalitno said...

opera stories?

are you holding out on us - are you an opera lover? (some of us are knitting pianists/singers etc).

even tired you are funny!

David said...

How does one blush in a comment?

Even I had to look up some of that Yiddish.

ron huber said...

Your baby surprise is beautiful. I knit my first one a year ago and knit one now every month. Will have a few for the project and thank you for bringing that to my attention.

amysue said...

And as far as the Dulaan knitting goes it's also a mitzva.

Anne said...

If one uses Yiddish to attract hot Jewish men, what language does one use to attract men, period? Whatever it is, I could use some of it...

KnitMongrel said...

A moronic snob with a penchant for Yiddish who works from an altar?

A man after my own heart.

yarn shop girl said...

Bubbelah, you really are the best read on the net! I enjoy I ENJOY!!

Gwyn said...

Anne said...
...what language does one use to attract men, period?

Sorry, Anne - you can't attract men with your period. Most will run, screaming.

Gwyn said...

Franklin said...
Trying to attract a hot Jewish man.

Sorry, Franklin - I just find it irritating when a non-Jew tries to speak yiddish to me.

Then again, I'm a decidedly non-hot, straight woman - maybe that's the difference!

junior_goddess said...

Oh thank you-
Fahrklempt was flat out kicking my butt.

Janet said...

oy, your post, a mitzvah! too bad it gave some folks spilkes! I too am looking for my hot intellectual, jewish, buddhist, hip hop boyfriend, ala le Beastie Boys of today... tsuris!

barb k said...

Franklin, how can I contact you regarding a possible commission sketch? I don't think smoke signals will reach from New York to Chicago....thanks!

FiberQat said...

If you find a hot Jewish man, see if he has a hot Jewish sister, then call me. I yearn for good matzoh ball soup.

Snarled Yarns said...

Are your commenters really that rude? Wow, that's people for you. I Have to shudder at the idea of your house guest on baby wear...what kind of kids will we be raising?

Cheryl said...

rats, I thought your whole purpose in life was to turn cartwheels for my amusement. How shattering to my psyche to find out you want a life!

Artemis said...

Rita Hayworth did a similar quip. When asked what held up the famous strapless gown she wore in 'Gilda', without missing a beat Ms. Hayworth said, "Two things."

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