Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I´m With the Sheep

So this morning right on schedule we sailed into Minorca, where we´re presently docked in Mahon* right at the foot of the steps that lead up into the town from the harbor. The blue water here is very blue, the white houses very white.

I was fairly certain Dolores would not be joining me for this afternoon´s excursion to Ciutadella (the old capital) as she and the band whooped it up in the Orpheus Room until heaven knows what o´clock. I woke up this morning and found her sleeping on the floor with her legs up on the sofa and the skirt of her evening gown over her face.

Around 11 in the morning, a large bouquet of tropical flowers and a bottle of champagne arrived along with a note from the band: "Hot-cha, baby! We get a kick out of ewe!"

Over breakfast one heard about nothing else but the song stylings of that divine American sheep. A lady named Moira, who I believe is from York, leaned toward me over her kippers and whispered conspiratorially, "My dear, I´ve never been one to swing both ways, but I confess when she got up on the piano and flashed her knickers during `Begin the Beguine´ I went positively moist all over."

It put me right off my apple fritters.

Meanwhile, Galina is feeling jilted (Dolores having moved on like a freight train without a break system) and is taking it out on our cabin by leaving the pillows improperly fluffed and giving me the wrong sort of cookies on the tea tray. Hell hath no fury, you know.

P.S. to Those Who Would Pretend to Be Me: We left Rhodes behind days ago. Do please try to keep up. And they don´t drive camels there, they smoke them. I was going to tell you all about the naughty fireman in Sardinia, but now since I don´t feel I could compete with such a story I´m not. Hmph.

10 comments:

may said...

found you through blog surfing. you are funny, and i think you already know that. anyway, i like funny, so i hope you don't mind, i will add you to my link...

mrs Nito said...

You know what they'd say in a cold climate Dolores...always have a fur trim on ones nightwear it keeps your neck warm .Mrs Mooney ,Nito's friend.I expect it's chill if one has to crawl to one's cabin and can't so crashes in a lifeboat..from what I've heard be careful they might already be taken.

Mel said...

What sort of cookies, exactly, would be the wrong sort?

Carol said...

Is "a train without a break system" one that requires the engineers to work without any trips to the bathroom?

Sarah said...

No really, we want to hear about the fireman!

Jacquie said...

Please don't let Dolores run too much amok on Menorca - we own an apartment there and would prefer it if it's reputation as a family friendly vacation destination remained in tact. Ibiza may be more her style

All the Way With Knitting said...

To give Dolores her due ...she might be a good-time gal but Ibiza from what we hear is far too vulgar for her .It'll be full of Brits dressed in crap, drunk as skunks and listening to some God-awful stupid holiday song..bit like our neighbours really .

Jacquie said...

You may be right about Ibiza. I guess actually Dolores is more the kind of girl who would be found lunching on lobster as a guest of the King of Spain in Fornells.

David said...

Damn you "Those Who Would Pretend to Be Me", Damn you! My kingdom for the fireman story!

persones llanes said...

I hope you enjoyed Menorca. It's one of my favorite places in the whole world. The blue water, the pine forested coast. So quiet and realxing...God only knows what Dolores got up to there!