Monday, January 23, 2006

Stasher Movies

Ladies and gentlemen and sheep, in honor of film awards season, the Panopticon's resident cinema critic is pleased to give you a baker's dozen of...

The Greatest Knitting Horror and Thriller Films of All Time

1. Night of the Living Moth
2. The Sweater from the Black Lagoon
3. I Spit Upon Ewe Grave
4. The Felting
5. The Shetland of Dr. Moreau
6. Knitsferatu
7. War of the Purls
8. Whatever Happened to Baby Ull?
9. Sorry, Wrong Dye Lot
10. It Came from Lily Chin
11. The Ply
12. The Stockinette of Dr. Caligari
13. I Know What You Crocheted Last Summer


Joanne said...

- "The Lair of the White Worm"

- "The Thing"

- "The Blob"

- "Nightmare on Frog Street"

Aidan said...

"Threadbare to Eternity"

Cheryl said...

Oh my glory did you ever give me the laugh of the day!!

Wannietta said...

You've created a monster Franklin (or several)!
Invasion of the Sock Snatchers
The Invisble Cast On
Night of the Living Deadline
Resident Moth
The Gauge Zone
Knitted Cape Fear
(S)kill Level: Basic
The Frog

Buzz said...


Robbyn said...

And also:

"Silk Stockinette"
"The Bad Seed Stitches"
"Knitting Needle Park"

and lending new meaning to:

"Do Androids dream of Electric Sheep"
"The Cable Guy"
"Lilo and Stitch"
"Spin City"

julia fc said...

And some of my favorite Hitchcock movies:

The Man Who Swatched too Much


Knitters on a Train

Dial F for Frogger

The Trouble with Gauge

Donna said...

"Attack of the Twenty foot frou-frou Scarf"

wooliedi said...

"One Skein is Not Enough"

"You Only Frog Once"


David said...

You are all so very disturbing.

James said...

For the space cadets out there...
Yarn Wars episode IV A New Sheep
Yarn Wars episode V The Skein Strikes Back
Yarn Wars episode VI Return of the Cardi

Susan said...

Oh, thank you for the Monday laugh!!!

Cynthia said...

Ha--these are great.

I have been off-line for several days. I am the person who promted your last entry, and yes, it is your wonderful work of which I spoke. I am pretty sure I have shown this person how wrong she is. I will keep up the fight. I would love to contact you not as part of comments, but don't know how.....

beadslut said...

Thank you for this much needed laugh in this otherwise slog-heavy day.

My father is from the Carpathians, and Knitsferatu is really hitting my funny bone.

Jean said...

Oh, Franklin! I have been trying all day to think of even one to add to your list. I can't. You're inimitable -- and a brilliant photographer, too. In helpless admiration,


Lee Ann said...

But disturbing in a good way...

The Incredible Tinking Man
Alottaneps. Ow.
Endless Fluff
Ply Hard With A Vengeance
Hemp Friction
Who Shaved Angora Rabbit?
Texas Chain Stitch Massacre
Men in Bights
Oh, DPN, Where Art Thou?

Lunch, you will be thrilled to know, is now over :-)

Franklin said...

I forgot one, myself.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Mondragon

Amy said...

These are hysterical! I'd SO go the see most of these!

Joe said...

Hey! Wait a minute! Crouching Tiger isn't a horror film...ooops, nevermind.


(and keep your hands off Carol S., she's mine)

julia fc said...

Thought of another one:

"It Came From Beneath the Stash"

megan said...

sweet lord.
you are hysterical!
i've just disturbed the entire 5th floor of the library with my hysteria. . .

Rabbitch said...

The Hills Have I-Cord
The Blair Stitch Project
The Bad Seed Stitch

I need some sleep. OKthanksbye.

Emily said...

OMG!!! Too much!!!

=Tamar said...

"Dye, Dye, My Darling"

bess said...

you are too funny! thanks for your humour, artwork, and for brightening up my day!! by the way--would you consider putting the Marilyn/stitch pattern cartoon on a tee shirt or hoodie? please? purdy please???

IRV said...

The tinking is coming from inside the house.

marie in florida said...

before i read the comments; "the ragland that time forgot"
i may be back after i read the

chittavrtti said...

"the little purl who lived down the skein"

"the woolman meets frankenskein"

"something knitted this way comes"

Dory said...

Women's Prison 6: Under the Ponchos

(Sorry...but it would be a horror, no?)

Ann said...

"Something Knitted this way comes"

boobookittyfug said...

Lambie Meets Godzilla
Joe's Apartment
Sheepless in Seattle
Pill Bill
Raiders of the Lost Stash
Romancing the Steek
October Skein
Wayne's Purls
Who Fairisled Roger Rabbit
The Seventh Stitch

Joanne said...

I love you, Franklin! You manage to brighten my every day!

Carol said...

Brave Redheart

Rabbitch said...

We of course forgot:

The Texas Chainstitch Massacre
The Silence of the Lambswool

Although I see I managed to repeat the earlier suggestion of "The Bad Seed Stitch". My only excuse is that I'm in love with a sock and not thinking straight these days.

Anonymous said...

And from the most recent crop of horror movies:

The Exorcism of Many Rows

The Hostile (Saga of SNB)

Anonymous said...

How about:
Friday the 24th

And in non-horror genres...
Comedy ~
Charlie and the Cotton Factory
Steeks and the City
Blazing Needles

Romance ~
While You Were Spinning
Stitching in Seattle
Must Love Yarn
It Had to be Ewe

Jay said...

Some other ideas:
The Mothman Prophesies
The Purl Divers (a movie based on the opera)
When Harry Met A Knitter
The Far Purl-villions (okay, that's a SERIOUS stretch!)

boobookittyfug said...

Pretty in Tink
Strictly Ballwinder
anything starring Tom Hanks
Waiting for Bohus
Dial "M" for Mohair
The Birdcage full of yarn
The Scarlet Sweater
Gone with the Wind-er
The Shearing of the Lambs
Never on Sunray
Fleeced of Eden
The Andromeda Skein

ScrapHappy said...

It Came from Lily Chin... I am dying! Too funny!
And yes, I am reading archives...

Artnitter said...

Do I feel another book coming on? :O)

Seriously, Franklin, Dolores' post was just what I needed.

Thanks for all the giggles.

Rocketbride said...


Anonymous said...

The complete "Intarsia Jones" series....

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