Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Stitches Midwest Photos

(My Stitches Midwest 2005 Diary, should you care to read it, begins here.)

If you were hoping for a photo essay, I am sorry I cannot give you one. I have learned that I can be either a knitter or a photographer, but not both at once. For most of the weekend I put the camera away so I could focus on knitting. These are the paltry few shots I took at the very end.

Me do better next year.

First up, in the market, the ugliest jacquard sweater ever in the history of the entire world. The vendor who perpetrated this was pushing knitting machines.

Ugliest Sweater in History, Stitches Midwest 2005

The only thing that would redeem this garment in my estimation would be a back panel showing the next logical step in the implied action sequence: the cat biting the head off the unsuspecting squirrel.

Here we once again have Robert (left) and Jon (right) with some of the 85,000,000,000 miles of yarn on sale in the market. Mind you, I didn't tell them how to stand, I just told them where. They instinctively went into spokesmodel/Rockette mode when I lifted the camera.

Yarn Boys are Hot, Stitches Midwest 2005

Robert was standing about knitting a fair isle tam. Show off.

Robert Knitting a Tam, Stitches Midwest 2005

And Jon asked me in advance for a portrait. This isn't one, it's just a snapshot which comes with the promise of a proper one the next time I see him. It doesn't do him justice.

Portrait of Jon, Stitches Midwest 2005

That's all, folks. Show's over. Nothin' else to see.

18 comments:

Sahara said...

Just happened across your blog....articulate and funny as hell. Enjoyed your review of Stitches very much...Agree wholeheartedly about Sally Melville designs, I think her stuff is awesome...

Nice work...
Lisa in Oregon

Deb the Brit said...

Hiya Franklin! Glad you enjoyed Stitches Midwest with Jon - I found your blog via Colorado Knits by the way.

I'm envious of all the Jo Sharp yarn you bought!

Deb the Brit x

Jon said...

Awww. Isn't he cute? {sounds of retching streaming forth}

Colleen said...

Franklin, that was such a wonderful account it was like I was there in your pocket. Next time I need a portrait taken I will fly to Chicago, hunt you down, and pester/threaten/cajole you until you take my picture. I think you could make me look how I wished I look but really, never, did.

Fredda said...

Thanks for the tour! If I ever wondered about going to Stitches, I'm now convinced. Yarn, knitters, classes, gross food and fun; what could be bad? (As we say from Brooklyn).

Hope to meet you in Rhinebeck!

Sister Sue said...

Wonderful! I loved every bit of your recounting! These commenting folks are right--you're an awesome writer (but I've known that for as long as I could read). In honor of your yarn-filled weekend, and inspired by all you had to do and say, I checked out the newest yarn shop--less than a mile from the house! It's charming. I bought a pattern, some yarn, and the appropriate needles. I will not say for what in case it becomes another little pouch for my cell phone.

Calvin said...

Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Franklin. Too bad you didn't get someone to take a picture of the three of you together. I must say, that is a nice portrait of Jon.

goblinbox said...

Franklin, you're so awesome. And Jon's adorable.

Michelene said...

Ahhh Franklin, a stash. You are about to become well aquainted with Rubbermaid(sounds kinky). Well, ok for you, Mr. City Gent it will probably be Ikea.

Libby said...

Gawd - that sweater is cornea-searingly hideous!

Just ran across your blog,and I agree with Lisa in Oregon. -

:)

Marilyn said...

For the past two years I've done an apres-Stitches Gallery of Ghastlies on my blog. The fugly jacquard sweater would have been my first choice for a photo op and is typical of what machine knitters like to do. They think it's hot. It's not. It's the Mary Maxim School of Bad Intarsia.

Coffee Faucet is the best and his is the only intarsia I would ever bother with.

stephanie said...

My god. It's like my brain is protecting me from actually registering what the image on that sweater is. I've been looking at if for 10 minutes and I can't figure out what the hell is going on.

Jenni said...

Thanks for sharing your experience at Stitches - loved reading it over lunch this week (but that cat sweater is almost enough to make me go on a diet. Almost.).

Elizabeth said...

Something about knitting machines does tend to bring out the worst in knitters. It doesn't have to be this way. Maybe because it's possible to make all sorts of "picture sweaters" one would never take the time to knit by hand, there's a loss of perspective on what it is that is being created. All I know is that the few mags that cater to machine knitting tend to feature a higher percentage of god-awful, cheesy, hackneyed designs than most of the mags oriented toward hand-knitting. Which is saying something.

obscure said...

Great reportage, Franklin! And now on to NYC.

(Hi, Deb the Brit, don't you just love this guy?)

LBellatrix said...

I just found your blog today. Thank you for sharing your story and doing it in such a great, warm, funny way!

I missed Stitches Midwest this year because I'm starting grad school full-time and thought that, as a soon-to-be poor student, I needed to NOT be around big bins of yarn.

But last year I went and took classes too and noticed a lot of the same things you did. So reading your diary brought back lots of memories...although I'm bummed I missed the fashion show!

justcinful said...

Loved, loved, loved all the entries about SMW! It's making me look forward to both the good & bad about Stitches East. As always your entries are witty & entertaining!

lauragayle said...

Frankin, I realize now I did see you at Stitches MW with Jon. This was Jon's 2nd Stitches, I think. I'm sorry I didn't know about your blog then, or I would have swamped you with much affection. LOVE your writing. Love your knitting and your illustrations! Gotta get one of those Venus di Milo goods.