A Thousand Points of Light?

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen:

In the wake of a landslide of support for a Dolores Van Hoofen campaign tour, extending even unto Europe and Asia, we at Fibertarian Party headquarters spent the weekend preparing a plan that will allow as many people as possible to take part in this grass roots effort. We envision a thousand points of light, although in this case the light in question is the glowing end of a Pall Mall filter-tip.

In the space of 24 hours, nearly four hundred (!) potential hosts from 47 states and four foreign countries asked for the opportunity to show our candidate their part of the globe. And if you know Dolores, you know she enjoys nothing more than the chance to spread herself around.

Therefore, rather than travel via postal service as was initially planned–which would have limited us to a maximum of 20-30 stops before election day–we have decided instead to harness the power of the Internet to achieve omnipresence. Wherever you want Dolores, faithful Fibertarians, Dolores shall be.

Here is how this is going to work. Please read carefully before you do anything else.

1. Two versions of Dolores will be available in PDF format via download. One is in gorgeous living color, the other is in black-and-white so that you can dress her to suit your needs.
   
   
2. To join the campaign tour, print out your Dolores of choice. Decorate (if you like) and trim her to size. Take her to wherever you feel she'll make an impact and photograph her.
   She can be alone, surrounded by the faithful, whatever you choose–you're the tour manager. Select one (1) image to represent your stop on the tour.
   
   
3. While Dolores is not above tweaking the noses (or whatever body part is within reach) of the mainstream candidates, this tour is about celebrating the Fibertarians–not hurling insults at anybody. Everyone is welcome in our tent, so set up your picture accordingly.
   
   
4. When you send your photograph to franklin at franklinhabit daht cahm, please include all of the following:
   
   • the name(s) of the host(s) as you would wish them to appear on this Web site,
   • the location (city, state, country) where the photo was made,
   • any fun details about the tour stop that you wish to share, and
   • a mailing address for your tour host button(s) to be sent to.
     
     
5. The first 30 hosts to submit an entry that meets the criteria will receive an exclusive Campaign Tour button that will not be made available through the online shop. To keep this fair, the maximum number of hosts per stop is two, so no fair piling thirty members of your knitting group into the photo and trying to claim all the buttons.
   
   
6. There can be more than one stop in a state, city, or town, so don't worry about whether somebody in yours has already sent in a photograph. (If you live in Portland, Oregon, this is extremely likely, as there were eleven requests from the within the city limits alone.)
   
   
7. Remember: one photo per host or pair of hosts. If you send more than one, the review committee will simply disregard all but the first.
   
   
8. After the end of the tour, 1 November 2008, all entries–not just the first thirty–will be considered for a grand prize (to be determined) and two dishonorable (hey, this is Dolores we're talking about) mentions.
   
   
9. By submitting your picture, you authorize its use at no cost on this blog and wherever else the campaign or the candidate might be publicized.
   
   
10. And finally, in downloading Dolores you agree to use her only for the contest; the images aren't for reproduction and distribution for any other reason.
    

Should you require buttons, signs or other accoutrements, they are available here.

Now, hide the children, lock up the booze, and go get her.