."2. Anger. "You know what, you stupid m-----f----ing doily? There's no law that says I am required to finish you. I can't be arrested for refusing to undo the same four rounds again. I could go shoe shopping or watch 'The Bachelorette' like a normal person. But first, I could cut you up into little pieces and use you stuff a cat toy. I've got the scissors right here. How would you like that, stupid doily? You want to end up inside a cat toy? How does that sound, m----f---er? Answer me! Shut up!"
3. Bargaining. "Listen, if we can just get to the end of this round of blossoms without running into any errata, I'll make a handsome donation to the American Society for the Preservation of Antimacassars and we'll go get some ice cream."
4. Depression. "A doily. A floral doily. In twenty-first century urban America. Stacks and boxes of thousands of unused, neglected doilies going for a nickel each at garage sales all over the place–and I'm knitting another one. Why? Why bother to bring another doily into a world that doesn't want it?"
5. Acceptance. "It wasn't so bad, really.
Of course, I'm not going to knit another one.
One is plenty.
I really don't care if I never knit another pattern by...[repeat from Stage One]."
Haha! I have not heard/read the word antimacassar in ages! I love this doily and it's inspiration to you for this post! Oh, and I think you are pretty cool, too...
ReplyDeleteOhmygoodgravy that's beautiful. *glares at my yarn and needles* Failures, the lot of you!
ReplyDeleteNow I feel really crappy about my knitting self. I finally worked myself up to a sweater, in moss stitch. This is not to say I haven't been knitting happily and well for a dozen years but seriously... I may as well not know how.
ReplyDeleteI want a doily.
Wow! Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteOh holy mother of .... that's gorgeous. Thank you very much. Now I need to go back and finish some of the lace I'd started... a while ago. Ugh!
ReplyDeletebeautiful; that's the final stage.
ReplyDeletemarie in florida
It is truly gorgeous. Make sure to keep us updated on the next one.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Franklin. And beautifully photographed too!!! As usual!!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteIt looks lovely! I'd love to knit a Niebling, but don't think I'd be able to finish and it probably would end up being the inside of a cat toy!
ReplyDeleteI love to knit lace; I've never considered knitting Niebling....until now! Was that the intention of your post? If I DO knit a doily, it will be an heirloom for sure!
ReplyDeletei admire you for finishing, actually, you deserve a standing ovation.
ReplyDeleteStunningly gorgeous - to no one's surprise!! Of course, you'll be knitting another...
ReplyDelete[DO "normal people" watch "The Bachelorette"...???
I agree--standing"O" from CA. Absolutely beautiful!!!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome knitting Franklin. It's beautiful and will be an heirloom to treasure.
ReplyDeleteVery beautifully done. Herbie would be proud of you.
ReplyDeleteI have the book but have yet held it open long enough to start knitting from it. The charts are daunting! I'm in the middle of Nancy Bush's nuppfest Miralda but when I need a little nudge to attempt Herr Niebling's little lacy things I'll look to your lovely pic for inspiration.
I'm in love with (pick one) A: your sense of humor B: your creativity 3: your face D: your skill with knitting needles, sewing machines etc. 10: all of the above (see very big grin here)
ReplyDeleteI muthaf#*$in' LOVE that muthaf#*$(in' doily, man.
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought your title was "The Five Stages of Niebelung," and I was all Franklin's gone all Wagner on us.
Looks awesome.
ReplyDeleteI have the same book and haven't knitted anything from it yet-- but I plan to make mine into blankets, or something.
my first thought was "I wouldn't know about those, I've never Niebled!" More power to you, Franklin!
ReplyDeleteWell worth all the stress, Frankiln!
ReplyDeleteThe doily is beautiful.
All the most rewarding things in life (complicated handcrafts, education, making mayonnaise and possibly reproducing) go through those stages...
ReplyDeletePerhaps the solution to unloved anti-macassars is to revive macassar oil...
I'd love a couple of those for Xmoose. Speaking of which, will we get to see you this year?
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Isn't that why we knit?
ReplyDeleteNot to sound like a parrot, but "Beautiful!" The workmanship is beyond belief!
ReplyDeleteBest uses for yard sale doilies I've ever found! 1) A line of them across an attractive curtain rod to give a finish to a window you don't want to cover. 2)Framed. 3) Inside the window of a small cabinet I decided to use in the bathroom for meds and such. (Who wants to see nasal spray and pill bottles?) 4)Top for a pillow. In the same vein, slightly damaged ones have been cut down to edge pillow cases. 5)Insert for a night gown (This is especially good for ones which are not completely intact and you don't mind cutting into.)In fact, why not plan a sweater around one? The first four were at their most appropriate when I lived in a two hundred year old house in the Shenandoah Valley, Virginia. Less so now that I'm living in a new home in dustville near the beach in a country that gets .06cm of rain, on the average during the summer months, and at least that daily in dust coverage!
It's beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteashayne
ReplyDeleteHaHa I thought the same!
Absolutely gorgeous! The photographs are wonderful too. I think I will live vicariously through you, though, and not knit one myself.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! And you celebrated the 100th birthday of Elizabeth Zimmermann (8/9/10) by following her advice and knitting on, with confidence and hope, through all crises. Although I bet there was judicious use of liquor in there. And ice cream. Possibly pie. Gwyn
ReplyDeleteSpeechless! Beautifully done as always!
ReplyDeleteWow!!! That is absolutely gorgeous! Why put it in a table? It should be framed and hung on a wall!
ReplyDeleteAren't they great? That's gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteSoon, soon you will be ordering on German websites and waiting for the mail with knitting needles and thread ready.
I can quit any time I want. Just a minute while I finish the plain row.
Beautiful! I must have $2.35 worth of doilies in a box that have been handed down through the years. Maybe, with enough time, they will be worth $4.70!
ReplyDeleteIt is very pretty. And now you can say you did it.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever need to prove you have a superpower (but it wouldn't do for the Evil League of Evil, who are the ones corrupting the patterns).
ReplyDeleteI can't get through a Wendy Johnson "Seriously Simple Shawl" and you're zinging out Nieblings. I bow to you.
ReplyDeletegorgeous. but I'm NOT buying that book by that man. I've heard way too many horror stories to ever want to find out if they're true.....
ReplyDeleteYou MUST take that with you on your next trip to the coffeehouse. THEN let somebody dare to needle the man who brings his own doilies! Also, maybe the doilies in boxes should have been pressed into use for the BP cleanup? How different was macassar oil from crude?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of five-cent doilies, last year one of our lace group members brought a box of lace pieces she had rescued to our Michigan fiber festival demo table.
ReplyDeleteIn that box was what turned out to be Niebling's Königin. Which she GAVE me!
At the fiber festival:
http://lost-arts.blogspot.com/2009/08/finally-fiber-festival.html
and gently reblocked:
http://lost-arts.blogspot.com/2009/08/fiber-festival-loot.html
Hey, I'll give you a nickel to knit another one for me. I'll even give you another to cover the yarn costs.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear. Well, you have a beautiful antimacassar! I love it!
ReplyDeleteI have the book, I have drooled looking through the book. Niebling was a master. One day I will do one, if I can do Sharon Miller's shawls I can do a Niebling. Sad thing is I have 0000 and 000 needles just siting and waiting for that day
ReplyDeleteIt is truly beautiful Franklin! Well done!
I think Katy's onto something. Bring back macassar! Bring back macassar!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the club, honey. Which one are you doing next?
ReplyDeleteI'm somewhere between stage 2 and 3 of Lyra. And I also bought the book at the same time I bought the pattern - in case I wanted to do ANOTHER!
ReplyDeleteYours is fabulous and finished. Mine is a heap of yarn!
O.M.G. ... That is so beautiful! Well done!
ReplyDeleteAch, my Liebling, such beautiful Niebling!
ReplyDeleteAch do liber himmel (guess my 6th grade german is really rusty!)!!! It's just knit and purl - right??? Perhaps I could do that - right???
ReplyDeleteThat's what us knitters tell ourselves and then we're in over our heads!! It's absolutely stunning! I'll give you a quarter plus postage.
So I take back my comment from your last post about whether you actually knit any more. Apparently you still do - and beautifully.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, that is Gorgeous!!! Well done as always Franklin!
ReplyDeleteI think you may have a bunch of new doily knitters on your hands because of this. I may just be one of them! It is really lovely. Really.
ReplyDeleteDespite the complete lack of originality, I must add, "Bravo!" What a magnificent piece of work.
ReplyDeleteHeh heh heh. I predict that soon you will have to knit Lyra. Once you start knitting Nieblings it's pretty hard to stop.
ReplyDeleteokay, see one do one teach one. Teach a class on how to make this doily. . .
ReplyDeleteStunning! Kubler-Ross would be so proud of your making it through the steps. : ) Hope to see more.
ReplyDeleteTrue, one is plenty, But then, one is never enough. Like potato chips, or kisses.
ReplyDeleteIf one turns out to be enough, this one is a doozie. Lovely.
In case Delores has gone missing, you might look for her here: http://vintagericrac.blogspot.com/
Hello, Doily! (It's a beaut.)
ReplyDeleteThese photos are so much more inspiring than the ones in the book, which--uhoh--I bought last month. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteoh, but how it is pretty....
ReplyDeleteOh, damn. I'm obviously well into stage 1 at this point, and you've only just written out what I guess I already knew.
ReplyDeleteYou've inspired me to try a doily. I didn't think I was a doily person either, until my dear MIL made me several over the years (crocheted though, with a hook small enough that I'd need a magnifying glass to see the thread). They hold places of honor on antique tables in our house. I've been knitting lace bookmarks for friends and library volunteers. On to the round form next!
ReplyDeleteI'll be prepared for the 5 stages, now. Thank you, Franklin.
Dying over Stage 4 (Depression). Too funny! The doily is incredibly stunning--but seriously, what did you knit that on, strands of hair stiffened with Aqua Net? Tiny! I'm having trouble seeing sock yarn lately (must need new glasses). Goodness!
ReplyDeleteI got so fed up with one once that I did cut it into pieces and throw it out.
ReplyDeleteIt's beautiful. Understand the frustration, though .... lace is addictive, but sometimes ....
ReplyDeleteBe proud of your creation - it is truly a work of art.
Stage 2 sounds awfully familiar. My dad's ex was constantly starting ambitious knitting or crochet projects... which would end up shoved in the fire. Quite literally.
ReplyDeleteAlas, poor Bruce. He never did make it any further down the road of emotional wossname.
beautiful.
ReplyDelete(i'm sitting here all smug because i know why doilies were called antimacassars.)
You have the cutest holes...
ReplyDeleteYou know what?? I mean really I had no interest in doilies. Yeah, every once in a while at a sale I would buy one, but I never, ever wanted to make one, and now thanks to you I do. If you've given me Niebling syndrome so help me......Really someone help me.
ReplyDeleteIt's lovely!
It's absolutely gorgeous! Now I'm regretting not having bought the Niebling book when we were at camp last month...
ReplyDeleteOf course you'll knit another one. It'll be the perfect gift for Great Aunt Gertrude's 90th birthday.
ReplyDeleteThat's next week, isn't it?
(WonderMike, we need the evidence -- clear photos and/or video! And how do you know about Franklin's Swiss cheese and bagels, anyway?)
It's lovely
ReplyDeletemargie in maryland
I love having company in my Niebling doily adoration. I think of them as knitterly crop circles.
ReplyDeleteOh go ahead, make another one! What a beautiful thing, a doily.
ReplyDeleteOh dammit, now I want to make one too. I looked at pictures. They remind me of moon jellyfish, all diaphanous and drifty, and yours is gorgeous. Good work!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely understand your frustration - and love the finished doily! It's beautiful, and that's why you'll eventually give in and make another.
ReplyDeleteIt's rather like having a second child...you know how difficult and inconvenient pregnancy and delivery can be, but...
I laughed out loud when I read "American Society for the Preservation of Antimacassars", my mother has been asking for an antimacassar since I learned to knit.
ReplyDeleteHoly. Crap.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully knit! There is a reason why so many before us knit thos dollies. Welcome to the DARK SIDE :-)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful doily!
ReplyDeleteAlso, you should write an opera about these stages. Call it, "Ring of the Nieblings" :D
(Yes, I'll go sit in my quiet corner of shame now...)
....sigh.
ReplyDeleteIt's beautiful.
Franklin, this doily is a work of art. Give yourself a BIG pat on the back for finishing it. Oh yeah, and give yourself a glass of wine also :)
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful!
ReplyDeleteJust imagine if you upsized the yarn and needles...it would make a lovely lace shawl.
ReplyDeleteOh my. It is gorgeous. I don't care if you had to redo 15 million rows!
ReplyDeleteI'll give you FIVE nickels for that gorgeous bleepin' doiley!!! It's beautiful. Can't wait to see the next one you're not going to knit.
ReplyDeleteWOW.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous. You've made me promacassar.
ReplyDeleteIt's all your fault - take all the credit - since I didn't even know what a "Niebling" was...Now I own the pattern to Lyra. Here we go. You are absolutely hysterical. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteFranklin, your writing is hilarious and your knitting lovely. I laughed aloud. After giving away antimacassars and lace "dresser scarves" ages ago, why is the pull of making lace so strong? Your work is excellent. Thanks for the chuckles.
ReplyDeleteI just found this thread in one of my favorite comic strips, User Friendly, and I thought you might enjoy it! http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20100816
ReplyDeleteStage 6: Enabling others so that they too could enjoy the pain. Am I so out of my mind that I had to rush to Amazon to buy the book before it sold out? Like everyone else in the world would immediately want to do this? Alas, yes, I am.
ReplyDeleteDespite your angst, I hope there was much rejoicing and dancing at the completion of your lovely doily!
ReplyDeleteNever would I have considered needing, wanting, or heaven forbit, knitting a doily. Until now. Wow. Thanks a lot.
ReplyDeleteI have just one question for you Franklin, "Have you cast on for the next one yet?"
ReplyDeleteHoly crap, that's pretty. I want to knit a big version in sport for a shawl.
ReplyDeleteJesus, Franklin, why must you spread the addiciton?
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteOn a cold and grey chicago morn, another little baby doily was born...
ReplyDeletein the ghetto...
I like how you mentioned those doilies in the garage sales, because I always rumamage through those boxes and buy a few, and I always feel good that I've 'saved' them from neglect and abandonment. Like a vintage doily foster mother.
The doily is beautiful!! And I have them & antimacassars all over my home...so what if they are not 'au courant' they make me feel all warm & cozy!
ReplyDeleteDo you have the 1986 edition, or the updated 2009 edition (with the "geez, don't kill me people -- I think I fixed the errata this time" comment at the front of the book)? I just got myself a copy of the latter, so help me.
ReplyDeleteThat is beautiful. And now I'm knitting a Niebling doily. I have never had the desire to knit a doily in my life, but because I read this, I looked up his patterns and fell in love with the intricacy of them. I haven't a clue what to do with the doily once it's finished and blocked.
ReplyDeleteDamn you and your Neibling ways! I had to purchase the book and now I'm eyeballing the patterns, trying which one has the pleasure of putting me over the edge. By the way.... what yarn did you use? Linen? Cotton?
ReplyDeleteBeeyouteemuss!!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.knittycity.com/news/2010/09/13/you-have-to-see-this/
ReplyDeleteGorgeous!
ReplyDeleteIt's just beautiful.
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ReplyDelete