Welcome to Panopticon Sportscenter!
We're here to announce the victor in this week's Celebrity Smackdown: Gertrude Stein vs. Dorothy Parker in 3000m speed skating.
The results:
Gertude Stein: 58% (257 votes)We interviewed the competitors in the locker room.
Dorothy Parker: 42% (184 votes)
Stein: "We were standing and she was talking and I was not listening, and then we were skating and not talking she was talking and skating, and I was skating and not talking. She was talking and skating then not skating and talking and I was not listening. Skating and talking is talking is not skating. Skating is skating. She was skating not skating and talking and drinking not skating. She was talking and drinking not skating and I was skating. I was skating and not listening and skating and not drinking and I was winning. And then I was mopping the rink with her skinny New York ass."
Parker: "When ice is not covered by scotch, I am deeply uninterested."
Je t'adore, mon beau fripon chauve.
ReplyDeleteTu m'agrandis le coeur.
That Dorothy, a woman of few words, but always to the point. I should have voted more times. Or would that be election fraud?
ReplyDeleteExcellent, excellent post!!
ReplyDeleteThank you
hehehe
ReplyDeleteyou crazy!
"I am not an alpaca!" had me laughing out loud! :)
ReplyDeletePardonnez mon français tres faible. Votre schema m'a incite a uriner un peu dans mon pantalon. Vous etes tres drole.
ReplyDeleteditto. (what bulldog said)
ReplyDeleteLOL.
Et toi aussi, Aidan.
ReplyDeleteJe ricane.
Je ne connaissias pas "fripon." Merci pour le nouveau mot du jour!
ReplyDeleteIl n'est que 10h30 ici ce vendredi matin, mais un p'tit whisky fera du bien....
Bon weekend a tout le monde,
Lynn in Tucson
I think you did Stein at least as well as the woman herself. Quite cringe-worthy in my opinion, even if she *is* part of the literary canon now. *Sigh* And Parker was just hilarious. Wonder what she would've said had she won...?
ReplyDelete-Heather
Cool. Frankophiles. Franklin, you attract a good crowd.
ReplyDelete"Fripon" is an old-fashioned word.
It means "rascal" or "naughty one".
It's one of my favorite French words, the other being "barbouiller", to smear something
I love love love you.
ReplyDeleteI could almost hear you laughing as you wrote the Gertrude Stein part! Laughing, laughing, laughing, posting and laughing!
ReplyDeleteTant mieux qu'on a une groupe francophone ici!
ReplyDeleteThe Stein quote was simply exquisite! "The Mother of Us All" is one of my favorite operas; saw it at City Opera a few years ago.
You always manage to make me smile!
Hey! No fair commenting in a language I can't read!
ReplyDeleteAs always, a wonderful post.
I'm so happy to be a new Frankophile. I've been lurking on a few blogs now that I've begun to knit again... If only I could make my fingers work... sigh.
ReplyDeleteI voted for Stein because I too thought Parker would be too bored to even make it to the starting line...
This has become my new favorite blog. I only wish someone would support Franklin so he could write for us all day...
LOL, Franklin, I can so believe the results of the Smackdown and the contenders' post-smackdown conversation. And look forward to finding the upshot of Dolores' sudden arrival at your abode. (The King Charles pattern you are using in your scarf is one I am determined to try for *something*.)
ReplyDeleteSherri
(blogless, hence anonymous)
There is a special language for Franklinophiles. Just like French, but with giggling.
ReplyDeleteWell if I may speak french today...
ReplyDeleteFrancklin, mon colinet, je fond d'attendrissement, de plaisir et de joie devant ton esprit, ton humour fin et ton imagination. Il ne me reste plus aujourd'hui qu'à me pencher d''un peu plus près sur la littérature anglosaxonne, car j'avoue à ma très grande honte ne pas connaître ces deux grandes dames. (Il faudra bien un jour qu'enfin j'admette qu'il y a un monde après Jane Austin.)
Why is it no one ever sent me yet
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Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
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