Thanks for sharing the good parts since there was no way in hell I was going to see this. Of course, if they really show Alice Starmore getting eaten I may have to go. Penny
I saw the first movie on an airplane after a March Break holiday. One earphone in, one ear listening to kids, husband, etc; one eye on tiny screen, one eye on knitting, oh, and the other eye on kids, husband etc. So, actually, I have no idea what it was about. Thanks for clarifying the whole thing for me!
Laughing, still laughing, and more snickering. As a YA librarian I've had more than my fair share of exposure to the Twilight Saga, and I enjoy your take on it more than most!
Crap! Crap! I wasn't planning on seeing the movie because Twilight fans are INSANE and the protagonist is an idiot, but I have to admit that the cast of the movie are insanely hot. #*R$%^*&^*# now I kind of want to go see it. :(
Drat it, now I have to add Malabrigo to my yarn shopping list. I've discovered that the Twilight movies really go best, for me, with lots of alcohol, but knitting would probably help, too.
Thanks for the excellent satire! I am currently on a wait list for Nightlight: a parody by Harvard Lampoon at the library where I work. I think you'd like it, too!
PS - I have NO interest in seeing this movie, so your captions made it come alive (for a vampire movie, that is...alive...get it...sheesh [storms offstage right])
Love it! Can't wait for my daughter, the Twilight nut, to see these pictures. Good thing I didn't have anything to spit on my keyboard when I saw this!
Your captions were funny enough -- but it was your post tags that did me in! Thanks for the laughs. (And for making me think of Malabrigo when I go see Eclipse this weekend.)
I just love your warped sense of humour. It's definitely "hot dog awesome" (to steal an Eddie Izzard-ism). Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I saw these or I'd have choked laughing!
You know you're a knitter when you are watching Eclipse and HOPING someone comes up with a pattern for the long sleeved grey sweater Bella was wearing about halfway through it.
Oh, I get it now: you're just planning for when, as Uncle, you get to squire your niece to some future YA function. Good on you, say I! Must get the aversive thoughts out and over with, long before she's an adolescent!
I'm not a great Twilight fan. There are better vampire stories out there. Much better. But, I think I've been condidioned to knit every time I end up watching one of these. May have to take something when I go see the new one... Damn, I'm going to have to find some Malabrigo
Thank you so much, as always, for the laugh! Can the girl in the Twilight movies (I don't know her name since I am NOT a fan) every close her mouth? All I ever see from the clips of those movies is the characters staring into each other eyes all intense-like with her mouth hanging open. Definitely love the Malabrigo!!
Is there a legal limit on how much awesome can be achieved in one post? This post? Has WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much awesome! I'm worried for you. The awesome police could be on your doorstep.
Dear Franklin, Thank you for making me hate Twilight just a tiny bit less. Still hate it, but knowing that you can take the most nauseating thing in my entire life and relate it to knitting makes it that much better. <3 Stevie
LOL-- oh, come on... what was wrong with Twilight? All those pale faces, backlit by fog... still say it was the best knitting light provided by a movie in, like, EVER!
Hysterical! Living in the "land of twilight" you get a bit of overkill here..yeah, you can enjoy it and be so sick of it at the same time! I love your captions!
I laughed so hard that my partner came running up the stairs to find out what was going on. I particularly LOVE the Starmore one and the "boy this staring is boring..." one. I personally find Twilight wetter than a haddock's bathing costume (i.e. all kissy kissy and meaningful looks, yawnorama) and think your blog hits this right on the spot. Just wonderful!
ha! that's great stuff. thanks for the laugh, and you're right, i wish i wrote as poorly as she does and had her saled figures. oh well c'est la vie, we can't all be 13 and obsessed with trash, right?
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LMAO This is wonderful! Thanks for the laugh :)
ReplyDeleteFranklin, this is the best thing. Ever.
ReplyDelete*snort* (from a knitting Twi-hard). :-)
ReplyDeleteFun!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, do you like Malabrigo???
You regret writing about Star Trek?? Oh my goodness, did I miss something? That was awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm thrilled beyond speech that you deigned to give us another post so soon.
Ha! I have not seen the movies nor read the books but now I feel I know all that I need to know.
ReplyDeleteYou are SOOOO sick and twisted!
ReplyDeleteI really like that in a person!!
Thanks for sharing the good parts since there was no way in hell I was going to see this. Of course, if they really show Alice Starmore getting eaten I may have to go.
ReplyDeletePenny
Haha - made me laugh. Great stuff.
ReplyDeleteI just enjoyed my lunch break so much more because of this post. LOVE.
ReplyDeleteI laughed SO HARD.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is better than showing up at the Twilight premiere with a vuvuzela.
ReplyDeleteI saw the first movie on an airplane after a March Break holiday. One earphone in, one ear listening to kids, husband, etc; one eye on tiny screen, one eye on knitting, oh, and the other eye on kids, husband etc. So, actually, I have no idea what it was about. Thanks for clarifying the whole thing for me!
ReplyDeleteI love you.
ReplyDeleteLars (of Team Jacob)
Now I"m craving some Malabrigo!
ReplyDeleteLaughing, still laughing, and more snickering.
ReplyDeleteAs a YA librarian I've had more than my fair share of exposure to the Twilight Saga, and I enjoy your take on it more than most!
Hilarious! And actually Bella's mittens are gorgeous, I've been thinking of knitting them.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely bril!!
ReplyDeleteThe tags are as funny as the post. Thanks for the pick-me up!
ReplyDeleteSomeone has a serious Malabrigo habit! ooh, sorry, groan...those puns just slip out...
ReplyDeletePerfect! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteErm, LOL! And I never use that phrase :D
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ReplyDeleteI love you so much!
I thought I didn't like the Twilight series because I'm an old fart.
ReplyDeleteThank for confirming for me that I'd rather be knitting
LMAO- thanks for the laugh, I needed it today :-)
ReplyDeleteLove this!
ReplyDeleteOK, this just made my day, possibly my year!
ReplyDeleteI love you. Please breed.
ReplyDeleteI already loved you, but now I love you even more! This is beyond funny!
ReplyDeleteCrap! Crap! I wasn't planning on seeing the movie because Twilight fans are INSANE and the protagonist is an idiot, but I have to admit that the cast of the movie are insanely hot. #*R$%^*&^*# now I kind of want to go see it. :(
ReplyDeleteI kid you not. I *just* got home from seeing this movie w/ my kids, including a squealing 12 y.o. girl.
ReplyDeleteYour timing is impeccable.
LOL
ReplyDeleteIt is very true that knitting makes all things better.
Thank you very much dear.
:)
Fabulous! Simply Fabulous!
ReplyDeleteThank you for giving me a laugh on a tough Wednesday!
ReplyDeleteHas anyone ever told you that you have a Malabrigo fetish?
ReplyDeleteyou just made my day!
ReplyDeleteThis actually makes me glad I just read Twilight for book group, as if I hadn't I probably wouldn't have found this half as hilarious as I do!
ReplyDeleteLMAO! Thanks for the giggle - needed it today! :)
ReplyDeleteYou didn't say this post was a spoiler!
ReplyDeletethat's is fantastic. Thank you for the giggles. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs!
ReplyDeleteQuite clever.
I think you have a little(?) Malabrigo obsession!!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you make me laugh! Thanks!
Drat it, now I have to add Malabrigo to my yarn shopping list. I've discovered that the Twilight movies really go best, for me, with lots of alcohol, but knitting would probably help, too.
ReplyDeleteYou just totaly made my day!
ReplyDeleteYou've seen this, right?
ReplyDeletehttp://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html#cutid1
The part where Edward has taken up knitting and makes a sweater with no head hole for Emmett is just hilarious, as are all the scrapbooking jokes.
I think I am inspired to make all the Twilight knits on Ravelry in Malabrigo.
ReplyDeleteROFL! Knitting DOES make it better! MMMMMMalabrigo!!!
ReplyDeleteYou just made me scare my coworkers, I was cackling so loudly.
ReplyDeleteYou're a better script writer than the Twilight team ----'nuff said.
ReplyDeleteOMG! This was a great laugh for the day!
ReplyDeleteWhat a hoot!
ReplyDeleteOMG that was awesome. Thanks for the laughs!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the excellent satire! I am currently on a wait list for Nightlight: a parody by Harvard Lampoon at the library where I work. I think you'd like it, too!
ReplyDeleteThis was amazing. I'll remember it when I go watch the sparkly vampires this weekend. :)
ReplyDeletebwhahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeletePS - I have NO interest in seeing this movie, so your captions made it come alive (for a vampire movie, that is...alive...get it...sheesh [storms offstage right])
Thank you, Franklin. If I end up having to take my little sister to see this, I will remember what you have written, and it will help.
ReplyDelete::mad snerking::
ReplyDelete"You can see seven yarn shops from up here." Is he near Portland? ;)
OMG! I can't breathe! The dog and cats are looking vaguely concerned. That was brilliant! Thank you! :D
ReplyDeleteNote to Self: Pick up some Malabrigo next paycheck.
are you trying to tell us something about Malabrigo, Franklin?
ReplyDeleteSee, now THAT is a movie I would watch! Why haven't they made that yet?!?
ReplyDeleteMala-who? And what tv series are the pictures from? Looks kind of Gilmore Girls-ish.
ReplyDeleteI have to keep my comments quiet when around my teenage daughter and her Twilight friends. Thanks for spilling the truth!
ReplyDelete::snicker, snort:: Love it!!!
ReplyDeleteI can just picture Alice Starmore putting a curse on you so that all the Malabrigo you touch turns into Red Heart Super Saver!
ReplyDeleteSick...twisted...and PERFECT!!!
ReplyDeleteSo funny! Though it may not be Samuel Richardson, Jane Austen or even D.H.Lawrence,at least the movie's leading male actors are great eye candy!
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed, especially the second one. {Five children and their father in 1000 sq ft or less. But who's counting?)
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful!
ReplyDeleteYou are freakin' hysterical!
ReplyDeletelove (1000)
ReplyDelete"no sex, no sweater" inspired!
Awesome :)
ReplyDeleteROTFL!!!!!!! Franklin, you're absolutely wonderful. :) xoxo!
ReplyDeleteNow I'm convinced I must see the movie, with my knitting
ReplyDeleteI love you. That is all.
ReplyDeletethis is so getting printed and put on my wall!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Way to go,Franklin!
ReplyDeleteLOL! These are great.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Can't wait for my daughter, the Twilight nut, to see these pictures. Good thing I didn't have anything to spit on my keyboard when I saw this!
ReplyDeleteYour captions were funny enough -- but it was your post tags that did me in! Thanks for the laughs. (And for making me think of Malabrigo when I go see Eclipse this weekend.)
ReplyDeleteThis is made of win.
ReplyDeleteLove it! It gives me a need to purchase more Malabrigo!
ReplyDeleteThank you for a good laugh Franklin! Perfect in every sense of the word.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Love it!
ReplyDeleteWonderful! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteWow. I just had to share this with my friends. You don't need to know anything about either knitting or Twilight to find this a hoot!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your unique brand of humor! it made my morning ...
ReplyDeleteI just love your warped sense of humour. It's definitely "hot dog awesome" (to steal an Eddie Izzard-ism). Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I saw these or I'd have choked laughing!
ReplyDeleteFabulous!!!!!! I never thought I'd find something I liked about the Twilight books, but you have proven me wrong!
ReplyDelete*snort!* hahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteYou know you're a knitter when you are watching Eclipse and HOPING someone comes up with a pattern for the long sleeved grey sweater Bella was wearing about halfway through it.
ReplyDeleteThat is the best Twilight post EVER!
ReplyDeleteThis is the best Twilight ever!
ReplyDeleteHave you noticed that your favorite yarn company seems to be Malabrigo?
Very funny!
ReplyDeleteBWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!
ReplyDelete::::breathes::::
BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!!!
Hate Twilight. LOVE this.
ReplyDeleteSo. Love this.
ReplyDeleteMmmmmalabrigo moment.
Oh, that sooooooo needed a coffee warning on it! I'm still LMAO! Thanks for the belly laughs today.
ReplyDeletehttp://crochetinsider.com/bookreview/knitgrrl-guide-professional-knitwear-design
ReplyDeleteon website crochetinsider dot com a book by Shannon Okey cover graphic looks a great deal like Dolores. is it just me?
So, Franklin, I am so sorry for being so forward, but I have been dying to ask this question for AGES: What is your favorite yarn?
ReplyDeleteOh, I get it now: you're just planning for when, as Uncle, you get to squire your niece to some future YA function. Good on you, say I! Must get the aversive thoughts out and over with, long before she's an adolescent!
ReplyDeleteYou are a genius.
ReplyDeleteWonderful. I was starting to get depressed after hearing on TV that Twilight had a record opening night. Pinch me, I hope I'm dreaming!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a great Twilight fan. There are better vampire stories out there. Much better. But, I think I've been condidioned to knit every time I end up watching one of these. May have to take something when I go see the new one... Damn, I'm going to have to find some Malabrigo
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, as always, for the laugh! Can the girl in the Twilight movies (I don't know her name since I am NOT a fan) every close her mouth? All I ever see from the clips of those movies is the characters staring into each other eyes all intense-like with her mouth hanging open. Definitely love the Malabrigo!!
ReplyDeleteOMG. I can NOT stop laughing!
ReplyDeleteIs there a legal limit on how much awesome can be achieved in one post? This post? Has WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much awesome! I'm worried for you. The awesome police could be on your doorstep.
ReplyDeleteI will be laughing for a long LONG time!
Knitting is to tollerence of Twilight as sand is to a beach. Thanks for the dialog.
ReplyDeleteWe've posted a link to you from the malabrigo blog! This was hilarious :D
ReplyDeleteROFLOL
ReplyDeleteHeidi
Love it! My personal fav: If you're just going to stare at me do you mind if I knit? I may have used that one before...
ReplyDeleteNow, that the Malabrigo sales ranks skyrocket, what is in it for you?
ReplyDeleteMore Malabrigo?
This was a good chuckle before I head to bed on this continent.
youve made twilight tolerable, i had no idea that was possible, i love it
ReplyDeleteDear Franklin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for making me hate Twilight just a tiny bit less. Still hate it, but knowing that you can take the most nauseating thing in my entire life and relate it to knitting makes it that much better.
<3
Stevie
LOL-- oh, come on... what was wrong with Twilight? All those pale faces, backlit by fog... still say it was the best knitting light provided by a movie in, like, EVER!
ReplyDeleteHysterical! Living in the "land of twilight" you get a bit of overkill here..yeah, you can enjoy it and be so sick of it at the same time! I love your captions!
ReplyDeleteSo will Malabrigo be sending you some yarn in a Twilight-inspired color?
ReplyDeleteOMG this is fricking wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThat was BRILLIANT!
ReplyDeleteExcellent script doctoring!
ReplyDeleteAnd I want to know what mitten pattern she's using...
This is too funny! And I love the tags.
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard that my partner came running up the stairs to find out what was going on. I particularly LOVE the Starmore one and the "boy this staring is boring..." one. I personally find Twilight wetter than a haddock's bathing costume (i.e. all kissy kissy and meaningful looks, yawnorama) and think your blog hits this right on the spot. Just wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI didn't think it was possible: I saw something Twi-related, and I was actually entertained. I think I love you.
ReplyDeleteUltimate irony - word verification: "comic". I definitely love you!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are so hilarious. Now I think I must take my knitting to the movies for the matinee showing. ; )
ReplyDeleteFranklin, I love you. Even more than Malabrigo. Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! My boyfriend *totally* knows what Edward's going through in the shut-up-I'm-counting one.
ReplyDeleteYou, my dear man, are a gift to the world of knitting, for your column, for your blog, and for your humor.
ReplyDeleteThank you for making me laugh harder than I have in weeks.
I love you so hard right now!
ReplyDeleteno regrets, it's like a night with Malabrigo.
ReplyDeleteOk, I NEED to see this version of the movies ;)
ReplyDeleteawesome!
ReplyDeleteThat is f'ing hilarious!!!!! You just made my day!
ReplyDeleteamazing. you've put twilight into terms i understand!
ReplyDeletelationeAnd then, as the moon set behind the trees, Buffy killed Edward.
ReplyDeleteThe end.
(I like the Alice Starmore caption best!)
Thanks for the laugh, Franklin.
Sorry, the verification word worked its way into the beginning of my previous comment and ruined it.
ReplyDeleteOMg, thats hysterical.
ReplyDeleteI had an awful day (or an awful month while we are at it), thank you for the much needed laugh.
ha! that's great stuff. thanks for the laugh, and you're right, i wish i wrote as poorly as she does and had her saled figures. oh well c'est la vie, we can't all be 13 and obsessed with trash, right?
ReplyDeleteI love Malabrigo more. No, I love Malabrigo more! Ooops I mean *Bella*
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutley the highlight of my summer -- off to find some Malabrigo!
ReplyDeleteyou're crazy.... funny!
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs.
Wow!
ReplyDeleteLove this..... :)
genius! Thanks for the laugh. And the reminder that knitting *does* make the world better.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
ReplyDeleteI had a crummy day yesterday and bad dreams last night but this has given me a big fat belly laugh that has chased the badness away. THANK YOU!
ReplyDeleteHey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will certainly comeback.
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