Sunday, December 28, 2008

Lurching Toward Epiphany: Day Four

On the fourth day of Christmas, Dolores gave to me

Day Four

four letter words,
three clenched men,
two hurtled jugs,
and a party that lasted 'til three.

33 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:09 PM

    Poor poor Harry, he looks like he needs a holiday after all this holiday season.

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  2. Oh, Franklin, you glorious hunk of humanity - I can't wait for the next 8 days. Happy effing christmas to you, too. Cheers!

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  3. I love Dolores - she makes my potty mouth seem positively circumspect in comparison.

    Harry looks as if he could use a drink. Or six.

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  4. Oh, Franklin, Franklin.
    Such talent.

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  5. Fleecy **** might be my new favorite curse. Please thank Dolores for me. If it's safe to go near her.

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  6. The best day yet. I want to be Dolores when I grow up.

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  7. Anonymous9:26 PM

    Oh my ****ing word, this is so ****ing hilarious! Thanks for cheering me up after a ****ing awful, emotional day!

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  8. Anonymous9:44 PM

    Ah, Dolores! A girl after my own heart. There've been more than a few times I've told someone to put their "****ing hair back on and get the **** out of here."

    But poor Harry looks like he could use a relaxing soak in lavender-scented woolwash while listening to something soothing, like "Mantovani Plays the Monkees".

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  9. But "bleep" wasn't the word Delores or Blagojevich were really using...

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  10. I am LOVING Dolores and her days of Christmas.

    The traditional days cost of $21,080 this year, just wondering what will Dolores' costs be this year.

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  11. Dolores has a tongue so sharp she doesn't need a knife to cut her food. Well-she didn't need one anyway! I love Delores.

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  12. Anonymous10:38 PM

    If this was a book, it could go on the shelf with my other favorite Christmas books.

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  13. Anonymous11:46 PM

    My favourite yet. And I haven't lived in Illinois in 30 years lol!

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  14. Anonymous11:47 PM

    You tell 'em, Delores! A sheep of extensive vocabulary you are!

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  15. Anonymous12:34 AM

    Is Harry going to survive the next 8 days? Harry - hang in there!!!
    Happy $#@%ing New Year!

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  16. Such eloquence!!! She sure has a way with words does Dolores!!

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  17. Anonymous6:33 AM

    Oh.....my, Dolores is completely out of control. BTW, I got a message on my Blackberry from Harry, he needs to be rescued before he is totally traumatized. He can't take much more. Did Harry get the Blackberry for Christmas?

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  18. These are great! A wonderful holiday treat!

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  19. Holy crap so funny! I want THIS on a t-shirt.

    Brialliant, as usual.

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  20. Anonymous1:22 PM

    Poor Harry! He's looking like he's had enough party -- and many days yet to come!

    Delightful!

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  21. Does Dolores have a punchcard for governors? Kind of like collecting the state quarters, I'd imagine. Gives a whole new meaning to Fifty Nifty United States.

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  22. I do love a girl with a colorful vocabulary........ (say, did she ever give you that fleece you ordered, originally?)

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  23. Anonymous3:38 PM

    I have my hand clamped over my mouth right now trying to stifle the screech that wants to come out.
    Dead serious.
    I love me some Dolores.

    --annie

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  24. You should totally make that into a t-shirt, or mug, or notecards or something! :) I'm ______ing serious! This thing is ______ing golden! You shouldn't give it away for ________ing nothing!!!!

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  25. Anonymous5:36 PM

    Franklin - You are a genius. You can make me laugh when I'm so effing tired of being buried in snow here in Portland, Oregon that I can barely knit for the tears in my eyes. On the other hand, Laughing Tears are beautiful. I swear you're better than valium. (See, I'm old, too - out of date drugs, even.) Love

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  26. omg, hilarious! and so clever. keep 'em coming, please!

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  27. That is the best! I've been out-cursed by a sheep!

    Please, please sell me the original. I'll throw in some homemade fleur de sel caramels into the bargain.

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  28. Anonymous4:02 PM

    Now the question is, since this is text and not audio, how would one best describe Dolores vocally? Volume level I can guess but if you can match her to a celebrity/actress voice that would help me, as well as others. Oh and please use more contemporary individuals if you can. While they may not be up to par w her almighty woolness, it'll help me from hijacking the Netflix upcoming movies order much to the chagrin of my yarn-tolerant hubby.

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  29. I love this one so funny;)Hugs Darcy

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  30. Anonymous7:07 PM

    Hi,
    Franklin, I loved you blog, everything you do, and I declare now, I'm your fan.
    HugsXhearts.
    Cláudia.
    cbmimilk@yahoo.com.br
    (flickr)

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  31. I'm in Japan so by the time my Holiday Gifts Interweave Knit magazine arrived from my parents, the date was long past. You're mentioned rather often in there, so I came to take a look, and am laughing hysterically. Dolores makes my day.

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