On the whole, a better-than-average year. In all fairness, I have to mention that about 98% of the alumni I dealt with were polite and pleasant.
Photographs taken: 1,237
Free lunches: 2
Free dinners: 1
Forced laughs after stupid jokes by speakers: 683
Times caught in rain sans umbrella: 3
Streakers: 4 (too bad it was so cold out, if you catch my meaning)
Stephen Colbert spottings: 2
Brushes with frostbite: 4
Ibuprofen consumed: 18
Narrow escapes from trustee who gives me stomach pains: 5
Indecent proposals from alumni: 1*
Committee ladies who narrowly escaped a bite on the ankle: 2
Board members who narrowly escaped same: 1
Football games lost: 1
Delicious moments of football-related schadenfreude**: 1
Estimated days before fake smile frozen on face will relax: 3
*Or two, if you take into consideration that it was from a couple. A straight couple.
**Just Google it, okay?
Schadenfreude is my new favourite word. Don't know how often I will be able to use it though.
ReplyDeleteAhh Franklin. I'm searching for a way to make ankle-biting and shin kicking legal, considering I too wish to do same to people on a daily basis. As soon as I find a way I'll let you know.
ReplyDeleteschadenfreude. Wonderful word!! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteIndecent proposals, huh?
ReplyDeleteWell, you already knew that you are hawt, from the response of your minions here... lol.
I have a professor that deserves an ankle-bite before, during, and after every lecture! What a prick he is..
I think you should go get yourself the Disco Bitch underpants as a combination "congrats on your recognition as a blogger award" and "I survived homecoming weekend reward". As long as you've come to terms with the fact that eventually they're going to end up on Dolores' fleecy butt.
ReplyDeleteI'm catching up on the last week or so of your blog. Life gets in the way sometimes...
ReplyDeleteOne treat after another! Belated congrats on the accolades for your blog. You're one of my favorite writers (in any media). Have you ever read Anne Lamott?
My man was in Chicago last week on business. Stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel. He phoned me to say that the in-hotel info magazine had a spot highlighting your upcoming Dulaan knit-in. Cool, I said.
As I watched (out of the corner of my eye ONLY, thankyouverymuch) the football game this weekend, I was hoping you were enjoying the irresistible fall from grace. I didn't think "scadenfreude" but that's perfect. I also worried briefly -- after all, you could've been trampled by angry fans or something! Hope you got a few good photos of horrified faces.
ReplyDeleteBut were they alumni who read your blog? Did you ask??
ReplyDeleteYou don't wonder why the straight couple propositioned you, do you? You're beautiful! You make me want to visit Chicago and wander boystown just for a chance glimpse of you!
ReplyDeleteLOL-Someone's happy to be home...
ReplyDeleteFor that proposal, how straight was the couple really?
ReplyDeleteJust remember on bad days, they did send you to Greece.
Your restraint is admirable.
ReplyDeleteSchadenfreude, ankle-biting, and indecent proposals all in one blog posting -- it's no wonder I love to come here. (I'll be sprinkling that schaden word liberally into my conversation henceforth. Thanks!)
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to know is: was the indecent proposal FROM Stephen Colbert?
ReplyDeleteSigh.
ReplyDeleteBisoux, sweetie. You were insanely missed.
Get the underpants. Let Dolores buy you a drinkie poo.
ReplyDeleteI have to know the answer to this question-are there REALLY Disco Bitch Underoos for sale? Because I am going to feel like a total IDIOT if I call Manifold to do my Christmas shopping there, and they laugh at me. I have the perfect giftee.
So PLEASE tell me if I need to spit the hook out of my mouth.
Vielegen dank sei Gott. You survived.
ReplyDeleteHey! Couldja file a sexual harassment suit against that couple? A way to get out of there with bucks, yet!
Yeah, I know, not feasible, just think of the time involved, not to mention the backlash. But I'll bet you've been thinking about it. ;) However, you might consider sending Dolores after them.
Ah there's nothing like a football game to inspire schadenfreude in a soul. Mine came watching a southern California team playing my alma mater's team on a rainy muddy day. Even the place kicker had mud on his pristine white and yellow uniform. *BEG*
ReplyDeleteHope the "retail" smile has loosened up.
Priceless.
ReplyDelete-Kate
I had a similar problem, trying to figure out how to count it. I asked many what the convention was in a situation like that and this was the consensus:
ReplyDeleteIf the couple approaches you together, simultaneously, you've been hit on once. If they approach you seperately, you've been hit on twice.
Such a burden, being adorable, eh? ;-)
I just found your blog and I think it's HILARIOUS! Keep writing, I'll keep reading.
ReplyDeleteWill it make you feel better if I tell you that Arcadia Knitting got it's first order of roving? And that the Ashford wheels and other goodies are on their way? The roving is cormo and dyed all the best colors. Don't bite. Spin.
ReplyDeleteGlad you made it through without too much trauma or drama, but couldn't you have blown up that pic of the streakers a bit more?
ReplyDeleteI guess this means that Dolores didn't get to go to Rhinebeck. Drats! I was so looking forward to her post...:-(
ReplyDelete