A Dispatch from Knit-In Headquarters

"Dolores," I said. "Dolores, I need to talk to you right now."

She was sitting on the living room floor, cutting out Nina Simone and Ethel Waters paper dolls with Harry the Ball of Sock Yarn.

"Is this something to do with the Knit-In?"

"Yes,"

"Well then hang on, I need to change clothes."

"What?"

"Just a sec," she said, disappearing into the bedroom.

A few minutes later, she returned.



"Are you sure you're ready now?"

"Quite."

"Okay, then. Can you explain to me why someone calling himself 'Genghis' has left me a message confirming a booking for 'The Mongol Horde' on November 4?"

"Oh," said Dolores. "Yes. Well, see, I was at Currently Unfashionable Ethnicities Night at the Lucky Horseshoe,* and after Genghis was done performing we got to chatting about about his group and how perfect they would be for a party to benefit Mongolia."

"Strippers. Mongolian strippers."

She coughed. "I believe they prefer the term 'body revelation artist'."

"Dolores," I said, "We're trying to clothe Mongolia, not get it naked."

"Did you leave your sense of irony out in the rain again?"

"We cannot have strippers at the Knit-In."

"What if they came in wearing half-made sweaters and we just sort of...frogged them."

"No."

"Hey," said Harry, "Does this mean I can tell the guys to stop knitting the thongs?"

"No," sniffed Dolores. "There's always my birthday party."

Other Knit-In Details: Kids, Animals, and Tobacco

There have been some questions put to me about what's ok and what's not at the Knit-In. Although those who inquired have been answered privately, I thought it might be a good idea to post the information here as well.

The John Evans Alumni Center is a non-smoking facility. Use of tobacco products is prohibited in the building.

A lady wrote to me to ask whether it would be okay to bring children to the Knit-In. Here's my answer: you must be honest with yourself and use your best judgment.

The house where we will meet is a grown-up space, owned by my employer. I am responsible for it while the event is going on. It's over 100 years old, furnished with antiques and oriental carpets. There are no child-proofed rooms and we can't provide childcare services, either formal or informal.

If your child is comfortable in such an atmosphere and won't continuously disturb the other knitters, your child is welcome. If your child is, shall we say, high-spirited, this may not be the most congenial setting for him or her. You know (or should know) your own child well enough to make the decision for yourself. My chief concern as host must be the comfort of all guests, whatever their ages.

Another lady wrote to tell me her cat would really like to come with her. On this issue, I must state firmly that only service animals are permitted in university buildings. No exceptions. (Dolores counts as a service animal. Just ask Genghis.)

Now. Enough with the freaking rules and regulations and prohibitions. Very soon I will be posting about what will be happening at the Knit-In and my dears, it's going to be lovely. We're up to nearly sixty people on the list. Don't forget to ask for an invite if you haven't already.

*For those of you just tuning in, the "Shoe" is a venerable Boystown night spot to which Dolores repairs to watch dancing when there's nothing going on at the Joffrey Ballet.