Monday, May 15, 2006

To Mom


A selection of five memories of me that I'm absolutely certain my mother treasures:
  1. The time I crawled into the ash-filled fireplace with the dog.
  2. The time I watched Captain Kangaroo draw on the wall, and decided to do the same thing with my crayons in my bedroom.
  3. The time I couldn't find my glasses, and I was wearing them.
  4. The time I got tomato soup on the kitchen ceiling.
  5. The time I called her in Honolulu (from Boston) to ask how to make a can of Campbell's chicken noodle without a microwave.
And yet she still admits that I'm her son. (At least when I'm around.)

Love ya, Mom.

xoxo
Spud

39 comments:

  1. Those are great - My 14 yr-old daughter gave me my best memory this weekend when she called me in the car to say she could not open the cocoa that she needed to make the chocolate cake she was slaving over and I need to hurry home. After laughing pretty hard, I told her to use the knife and pry it open. She hung up on me.

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  2. Aww.

    Spud?

    No, don't tell me.

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  3. Don't you mean the "times" you asked her where your glasses were?

    I can't imagine that was a one-time deal.

    Or perhaps I'm more daft than I thought I was, cause I do that all the time.

    She doesn't really call you spud, does she?

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  4. These are awesome memories - the fireplace being my favorite - I bet she was rippin' mad, and you musta been SO cute covered in ashes....

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  5. Hey, I had to call my mom for cooking help all the time - once to ask about making baked potatoes, and once to ask about making mashed potatoes, at least.
    I learned how to make spaghetti all by myself by reading the box. (In college.)

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  6. Anonymous3:03 PM

    About #5: Dude, really?

    About #1: Are there pictures?

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  7. Anonymous3:31 PM

    Hey, if you can't ask your mom lame cooking questions, who can you ask?

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  8. Jon, dear fellow, that happened the first day I had to make dinner for myself in my first summer sublet in college. I've sort of caught on to how to use the stove since then.

    And okay, Joe, I might have done that with my glasses more than once. Maybe. Hmph.

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  9. those of us with glasses can empathize.....

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  10. I know how you feel about the glasses thing.

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  11. Do I ever understand the glasses thing -- I do it all the time - but I have learned I don't ask anyone to help me anymore .... less humiliating that way when I realize where they are.

    But how many times have you gotten in the shower with them on and had to try to reach across the floor to put them on the counter....

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  12. Anonymous7:37 PM

    But what was the *dog* doing in the fireplace?

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  13. Anonymous8:23 PM

    The most amazing part is that you survived using crayons on the walls. You have a VERY loving mom. The mental picture of you and the dog in the fireplace - priceless!

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  14. Your mother should be grateful... my mother, as a child, painted a mural of Raggedy Ann and Andy playing hopscotch on her bedroom ceiling while "on punishment", having been sent to her room. Not as some resentful "take that" to her parents, but because she thought it would look nice.

    (My poor uncles ended up with that room, one of them until he was in his late twenties, and last time I checked, the painting was still there.)

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  15. Anonymous8:58 PM

    Oooh, tomato soup on the ceiling. I belong to the Hollandaise branch of that club. You know how the Joy of Cooking has an alternate recipe for Hollandaise, which uses a blender? (yeah, I know, but I was young and in a hurry and needed sauce for 80). Well, a free tip: when Irma tells you to take the lid off the blender to add more butter while the blender is blending, she's kidding. Hope you ended up with more soup than I had Hollandaise.

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  16. Dear "Mrs. Potato"--
    You did a fine job raising "Spud" up into an obviously smart, witty, funny man. Thank goodness, otherwise he just wouldn't be able to cope with Dolores

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  17. i crawled into the box with the puppies and nursed from the dog.
    to this day i often look for the eyeglasses that are hanging on my shirt.

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  18. Ah ..I have a nice selection of Holly stories and am saving them for when and if she brings home her first date ...I'm sure your Mum appreciated that list..Spud.

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  19. I'd like to hear the ones he left OFF the list. Heh.

    p.s. It's DOLORES -- Her Nibs is gonna get royal pissed if y'all don't spell it right.

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  20. "The time I couldn't find my glasses, and I was wearing them."

    Ha ha ha ha! I did this on my first date with my now-husband! Yup, standing in a dim, dark NYC bar, I panicked after subtly searching everywhere (everywhere, I tell you, except for my face), and turned to my highschool heart-throb (long story...no, we didn't date in high school...this is 10 years after high school), and said, in a panic-stricken voice, "I can't find my glasses anywhere! Do you know what I did with them?!?!?!"

    His response? Calm, dignified, and nonthreatening: "You're wearing them."

    Imagine--he came back for more! We were married a brief 3 years later...

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  21. Franklin's Mom, you're a gem. Thank you for Spud.

    P.S. So how long did it take to get the ashes and soot out of the dog's fur?

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  22. My mother tells me the story of when we were on vacation visiting Louisa May Alcott's house (I think I was 9) I turned to her quite accusingly and stated "She got to write on the walls!"

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  23. Anonymous2:34 PM

    Sorry to leave this in the comments section, but I don't have your email address. If you're looking for an excellent graphing software for knitting, for the Mac, my friend Nancy has something you might be interested in.

    I cut and paste this from her website: www.knitfoundry.com

    Interested in Knit Visualizer for the Mac?
    5/5/2006: We need to know what type of Mac you own! Minimum requirements are OS X 10.4 (Tiger) and 256MB of memory. It'll run better with 512MB as it's pretty graphics intensive. Do you have a G4, G5? Are you up to the latest and greatest Intel based mac? Help us determine what our customers need. Send email to info@knitfoundry.com by May 15th with your mac details and your level of interest in Knit Visualizer and you will be entered into a drawing for a free Ultimate Storage Container and Highlighter Tape!

    Even though it's the 16th, you might want to check it out. Hope this help.

    Have fun at camp. I was going to go, but will be making a trip back home instead.

    All the best, Joanne, Colorado

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  24. Soup. I want to know about the soup...

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  25. They are kinda wonderful aren't they ..I see mine has already posted so I'm safe.I wonder why U.S and U.K Mother's Day is different ? Holly.

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  26. Anonymous4:20 AM

    For Vintageme, the UK Mother's Day follows on from Mothering Sunday, explanation in this link:
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/features/mday/index.shtml
    According to Wikipedia the USA version started in 1870 as a call for peace and disarmament: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother's_day_(USA)

    Loved your List, Franklin.
    Dawn

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  27. Anonymous2:20 PM

    Franklin, do you really use "masculine beauty products?" Tell us the truth!

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