Thursday, March 16, 2006

Girls on Top

Panopticon Celebrity Smackdown III: Live Pigeon Shooting is over. I hasten to reassure all that no pigeons were harmed during this purely fictional event.



Here's the bag for each competitor:
  • Marilyn "The Knitting Curmudgeon" Roberts: 314 birds
  • Joe "Queer Joe" Wilcox: 67 birds
I'm pretty certain this is the last time the Smackdown is going to involve (intentional) bloodshed. You just don't even want to see what the carpet looks like, and I just had it shampooed.

Ever since I tabulated the results, Dolores has been driving me bonkers running around in one of my cowboy hats singing selections from Annie, Get Your Gun. Later on, after she passes out, I plan on checking her makeup case for firearms.
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7 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:35 PM

    Does Delores sound/sing/bleat like Ethel Merman? Just curious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown7:16 PM

    No, I sing like Ethel Merman.

    ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO BETTER, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU

    Sing it, Joe.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous7:16 PM

    No, no, does Dolores sing the Squeeze song "Annie Get Your Gun"?
    They're very cool.
    Wait...maybe she prefers "Cool For Cats"?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Linda8:55 PM

    Franklin, I am SOOO enjoying your stories about Delores. BTW, thanks for making the Venus De Milo design available in a Ringer T-shirt. I am loving it!

    Linda

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8:34 AM

    Good God, I take one stinking day off work and come back to a poll I missed (DAMN!) and new Dolores-ware! Yipeee!

    Bess, count me in as a groupie then, as I have 3 shirts in my queu, just awaiting payday. ;-)

    My bet is that Dolores snaps her gum to Emenem just to piss people off.

    ReplyDelete
  6. dpaste11:06 AM

    Cowboy hats? You have more than one?

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete