Sic Transit

Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that you're a knitter living in a major metropolitan area.

Let's also say that you typically spend 90 minutes each week day commuting on the city's public transit system.

Ninety minutes per day, five days each week adds up to 450 minutes. Seven-and-a-half hours.

Some things a person could do in a week, spending that amount of time on a subway train:

1. Burn 4,590 calories by jogging in place.
   
2. Read The Da Vinci Codes from start to finish twice.
3. Brush up on the Latin subjunctive.
4. Write seven long or 14 short letters to Grandma.
5. Learn basic Spanish from bilingual posters for train safety, international long distance, Target, and public service announcements.

What the knitter in question will do instead, faced with a deadline-driven project that involves creating a heavy, solid garter-stitch rectangle measuring 54 inches by 46 inches, using worsted-weight yarn and a size 7 needle:

1. Knit.

Here are good things about knitting a gigantic woolen rectangle while transitting publicly:

1. If the heat in the train car ceases to function, the project will keep your legs warm.
   
2. You will be a source of amusement to other passengers, who will often ask you friendly questions and wish you well.
3. You will not have to read The Da Vinci Codes.

Here are less fortunate things about knitting a gigantic woolen rectangle en train.

1. A gust of wind in mid-stitch may send your ball of yarn flying down the platform, requiring that you chase after it.
2. While pursuing the errant wool, your knitting bag (which now weighs as much as a small hippo) may knock a fellow commuter flat on her caboose.
   
3. You may then miss the incoming train.
4. Having caught the next train, you may be spotted by an enthusiastic member of the Nation of Islam (dude–cute bow tie), who will decide you are the perfect subject for an impromptu sermonette on the evils of homosexuality and the proper roles of men and women.*
5. As you exit the train, your tape measure may get caught in the door, leaving you no choice but to wave goodbye as it continues north without you.

And finally:

6. All this may happen on the same @$%#! morning.

Happy Monday.

*Second time this has happened. Second.