Sure, she's a timeless symbol of love and beauty. But can she knit?
I have no idea whether anybody will actually buy this one. It's a bit out there. My test audience of four gave three guffaws and one "Huh?" But I see this as half the fun of blogging: You get to subject a large number of unsuspecting people to the freakish ideas spinning around in your head. Come closer, my pretties. Closer. Closer.
Maybe it also reveals something about me that this is the third design featuring an object of worship.*
I have a knitting Buddha sketch kicking around, but don't hold your breath waiting for the "Mohammed Knits" mug. I don't need that kind of trouble.
Anyway, about Venus. She's only on a bag and a simple t-shirt right now, but if you'd like to buy her on another style of shirt or whatever, speak up. We aim to please.
What I Said
What I said to the sleazy guy was, "I'm not knitting for charity this week."
Mrs. Parker wept.
*No, not the ball of yarn. Well, not only the ball of yarn.
I love the goddess! I will get me one of those. And BTW, I think your actual response was the best!
ReplyDeleteThat's a great design, Franklin! (I have to admit it took me a few seconds, but I haven't had enough coffee this morning.)
ReplyDeletebwah!
ReplyDeleteNOOOO...you cheated us.
ReplyDeleteHere I am, picturing you, taking up only one seat, and the majority of a table for two in a bustling coffe shop that's adorned with bright colored lighting and curved molding everywhere.
You: Concentrating on your lace pattern repeat.
Dork: Standing over your table, hunch-shoulder, glasses slipping down on his oily nose, he says, "Maybe you could knit me a jockstrap?", followed by a true snortle.
Alternative One
You: Barely looking up from your complex knitting, "I'm not knitting for charity this week", while dismissing him by turning slightly in your seat toward the towering, square-jawed blond in the corner.
Alternative Two
You: Looking up, clearly annoyed and exhaling audibly, "I'm not knitting for charity this week," and then staring him down till he walks away with his proverbial tail between his legs.
Alternative Three
You: Looking flummoxed and trying to decide on if you're horny enough to engage this geek in any conversation whatsoever, you stammer, "I'm not knitting for charity this week." He chortles, hoping this is an invitation to spar verbally, and later orally, and in disgust at both yourself and him, you get up and leave the remnants of your soy chai latte on the table.
Couldn't we have gotten at least a FEW more details about the encounter with the idiot?
Thanks for making me laugh out loud this morning--not an easy thing to do before I've had my first steaming mug of coffee. I must have the Kali shirt, but this beauty is my second choice.
ReplyDeleteNice comeback by the way, even if it isn't quite up to the indomitable Mrs. Parker's standards.
Please. You don't need our help.
ReplyDeleteLove the goddess... I have an oversupply of t-shirts already due to my DH's current obsession with making Latin t-shirts, but maybe I could use one more...
...I'm not entirely sure that's funny. Is it funny? I mean, SHE AIN'T GOT NO ARMS, MAN!
ReplyDelete*hehe*
1. Love the venus de no knit.
ReplyDelete2. Love your actual response, hilarious!
I like it!hehehe
ReplyDeleteI like the design. Of course, I've recently finished up the Greek/Roman section of one of my art history classes and I'm thinking much more about it's history than any person ever should. I've decided to keep all of that to myself, though, after making comments about the design on a dixie cup at a meeting at work today & how it was similar to motifs from Mesopotamian and Mycenean cultures. Um...yeah.
ReplyDeleteSo what, V de M uses her pits to hold the needles? This is the best so far. If John Lennon could make fun of cripples, why not you?
ReplyDeleteI actually knew a woman who had one arm amputated above the elbow. That's how she knit, with a needle in the pit. And she knit better and faster than anyone I've ever met. I'd pit her against the Tiny Diva any day.
I go for Alternative #1. I can see you doing that more than the other two.
It's good (as usual), Franklin. A sweat shirt, since I've already got a tee-shirt? Now, how many people can I give it to for Christmas...?
ReplyDeleteKeep it up!
Jean
I really like that one.
ReplyDeleteI really, really like the new design! I must have one, but I'll have to think about what I'd like it on. Maybe a hoodie, so the design is on the back and I don't have anyone staring at the boobs on my boobs, as it were.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, I'm proudly wearing my 'new yoga' ringer T at work today and feeling extremely fun and cute (since I realized this morning I had a long sleeve T in the same salmon colour as the trim to layer underneath so I'm actually stylish which doesn't happen very often) and I added a kicky new haircut to the mix this afternoon and it's all good. And it's thanks to You!
Coming out of lurkdom to say I laughed out loud at the Venus picture - I, for one, think it's hysterical. 'course, I can't be buying no tees cuz my belly is rapidly expanding...but I can admire it from afar!
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, they think when she had arms that she was spinning. Apparently it's the only activity that makes sense when you put her limbs back on to the stumps.
ReplyDeleteadd another guffaw from me.
ReplyDeleteIt's the best yet! Now if we could only get Cafepress to spring for some coloured tee-shirts...
ReplyDeleteoh veeeeeeeeeenuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus (sorry bad bobby darrin impression there (that was bobby darin, wasn't it?)). i like. i cackled so loudly the boys came out looking for the wicked witch of the west.
ReplyDeletei'd like her on a sweatshirt (i'm in winter mode, lol)
and i liked the line you came up with! charity, indeed!
LOVE it...but the men in my family didn't get it. I was hysterical.
ReplyDeleteJanet
great design...great idea. i think it needs to be on a bag.
ReplyDeleteOrdering Venus today. LOVE her. Please add a long-sleeve or hoody, though, for her. I'd buy another if I could wear it in winter.
ReplyDeleteRats. Ignore last comment. Found the Venus sweatshirt. Ordered one of her and one of Kali, instead. Did NOT notice (but my 8-year-old pointed out) that one has no arms and one has eight. "What's with the arms, Mom?"
ReplyDeleteI had to smile, as I ordered the Kali baby T.
ReplyDeleteDid your reply comment make the hawk leave? I can only IMAGINE the tone and inflection of your ripost.
My girlfriend has a little sign when she's out that says "no knitting questions or comments today". I laugh, but it works.
I've been enchanted with your blog for some time. Your unique ability to communicate feelings that so often mirror my own is uncanny, and I very much appreciate reading your posts (and wishing I could retain a mere speck of your whit).
ReplyDeleteI also love your drawings, but Venus spurred me to at long-last comment. Outstanding! I must have it in some form. I have been a knitter for at least 50 yrs. but you’re quickly catching up to me in technical expertise as well. Sorry I couldn’t make Rheinbeck to see the sweater and to meet you. Perhaps someday.
Wishing you continued success in each of your creative endeavors.
If someone is a true knitter they will always find a way to knit... arms or no arms. I remember watching a documentary years ago about a woman who had no arms but was still able to raise her son without any help. It was amazing just what she could do with her feet from washing her baby to changing a nappy to driving a column change car. It's no wonder my mother calls physically challenged people handi-capable.
ReplyDeleteMohammed Crochets, Suffi Mystics spin.
ReplyDeleteWell, we can't all be Dorothy. I always like to strive to George S. Kaufman but always fall short. That's the thing with heroes.
ReplyDeleteOf course this makes me wish you'd come to visit DC and sit in on our own Algonquin Knitting Circle. You would be oh so at home.
I'd missed your blog all these weeks.
Great blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol
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