Attention, Vermin Spammers

If you spend any time at all reading blog comments you'll have noticed a sudden and depressing wave of spam comments. As my parents have said approximately 5,489,201,627 times during my life span, people always have to ruin everything.

"Hi! This is a great blog! I am also interested in guinea pig rescue, you should check out my site, it pretty much covers guinea pig rescue* stuff!"

Please, and I mean this with a sincere and caring heart, fuck off and die.

People who distribute spam in any fashion - e-mail, comments, pop-ups, or photos of Paris Hilton - are vermin. Actually, no. Idiot people who purchase goods or services from spammers and therefore give them a reason to keep spamming are vermin. Spammers are simply the plague lice who feed on the blood of the vermin.

To try to cut down on this, until the nice people (hey, they are nice - I'm not paying for this service) at Blogger can get a handle on things, I'm turning off "Anonymous" commenting. It only takes a second to register, and isn't it more fun to pick out a cute name for yourself anyway? If that discourages you from commenting, I'm sorry, but I don't want to hear any more from dubious weight loss clinics or shyster wedding photographers (shame on you!) in England.

Also, Paris honey, please stop sending me your pictures. If I have told you once, I've told you a thousand times: I just don't love women in that way. On the other hand, if you want to learn to knit you can give me a call. With my sliding scale adjusted for your income, my fee is $4,000/hour. But I'm afraid I'll have to insist that you keep your top on.

*Not a joke. Found this waiting in the in box this morning. Now I am definitely going to step on any guinea pigs I find running loose in Chicago. So there.