All About That Lace

I am nothing if not easily distracted. What's below is the kind of thing that creeps into my notebooks when I am supposed to be doing serious work.

If Meghan Trainor's bouncy ode to the curvaceous posterior, "All About That Bass",

can spawn a Star Wars version, a high school literacy version, and a forties jazz  version, et al., I see no reason why we knitters should not have a version of our own. 

I sing like a screech owl and haven't got the time to make a video (perhaps the Mason-Dixon ladies will oblige?), but here's my contribution to the boom boom on the dance floor.

Because you know

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

I’m all about that lace,

'Bout that lace, lace, lace.

Yeah, it’s pretty clear

I need a size 2.

'Cause I been swatching, swatching,

Like I’m supposed to do.

'Cause I know what you need to make it all lace–

All the right holes in all the right places.

The knitting magazines down at the local shop,

You want a pretty shawl? They got a bumper crop.

Yarn over, knit together, and never stop

'Til every inch of it is perfect

From the bottom to the top.

You know my mama she told me don’t worry about the size,

She said a shawl can be tiny or cover you to the thighs.

You know I won’t knit your sweater for Christmas like Santa’s elf.

So if that’s what you want you can knit it your own damn self.

Because you know

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

Hey!

I’m using silk and yak,

I like the way my little needles clack,

I maybe wish I hadn’t chosen black–

But I won’t give up

'Til every inch of it is perfect

From the bottom to the top.

You know my mama she told me don’t worry about the size,

She said a shawl can be tiny or cover you to the thighs.

You know I won’t knit your sweater for Christmas like Santa’s elf.

So if that’s what you want you can knit it your own damn self.

Because you know

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

I’m all about that lace, 'bout that lace,

No cables.

I’m all about that lace,

'Bout that lace.

Hey, hey, ohh.

You know you like this lace.