Thursday, March 16, 2006

Girls on Top

Panopticon Celebrity Smackdown III: Live Pigeon Shooting is over. I hasten to reassure all that no pigeons were harmed during this purely fictional event.



Here's the bag for each competitor:
  • Marilyn "The Knitting Curmudgeon" Roberts: 314 birds
  • Joe "Queer Joe" Wilcox: 67 birds
I'm pretty certain this is the last time the Smackdown is going to involve (intentional) bloodshed. You just don't even want to see what the carpet looks like, and I just had it shampooed.

Ever since I tabulated the results, Dolores has been driving me bonkers running around in one of my cowboy hats singing selections from Annie, Get Your Gun. Later on, after she passes out, I plan on checking her makeup case for firearms.

7 comments:

Hindrek in Vancouver said...

Does Delores sound/sing/bleat like Ethel Merman? Just curious.

Marilyn said...

No, I sing like Ethel Merman.

ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO BETTER, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU

Sing it, Joe.

Kathy Merrick said...

No, no, does Dolores sing the Squeeze song "Annie Get Your Gun"?
They're very cool.
Wait...maybe she prefers "Cool For Cats"?

Linda said...

Franklin, I am SOOO enjoying your stories about Delores. BTW, thanks for making the Venus De Milo design available in a Ringer T-shirt. I am loving it!

Linda

Holly @Home said...

Mutton can be so hard to cook and so much of it dresses like lamb ..I metion no names even if they are the same as my fashion heroine .."of the River" .

dhi said...

Good God, I take one stinking day off work and come back to a poll I missed (DAMN!) and new Dolores-ware! Yipeee!

Bess, count me in as a groupie then, as I have 3 shirts in my queu, just awaiting payday. ;-)

My bet is that Dolores snaps her gum to Emenem just to piss people off.

David said...

Cowboy hats? You have more than one?